Spoiled brats

[lzfan715]

My brother and I used to argue all the time in public, I mean argue as in hitting screaming and yelling. We drove my mother nuts. Then I figured out that if I don't respond to what he does, he will quit. Then he learned to be sarcastic, and now single remarks are made and it's over. No yelling, hitting, just him saying something and me returning it. Granted I do make the first remarks sometimes.

[Electrophile]

Your absolutely correct about these kids getting away with things. I have to be honest and say that Dad or the lack of Dad has a big role in this as well. My father never hit me...but I alway's thought he might . He used a different tactic than my mom but between the two of them, I was quite aware of who was in control and that I wasn't going to be able to get away with being a brat or as I call them today...rude little shits

I don't know how true that is, though. Sometimes the mother is the disciplinarian and the father isn't. Or sometimes as was my parents' case, they were abused as children and didn't want to become abusers themselves, so they never physically disciplined their kids. My parents found other ways to punish my sister and I when we we misbehaved and they didn't have to lay a hand on us.

[eternal light]

First of all, I paid the $600.00 for a 1967 auto in 1973. This was a car my father used for his job, which was driving around to various business's in order to sell product. So it ALREADY had some miles on it. My sister also owned the car before me. I need to ask her if she paid for the priviledge of using that car.

Second, my parents had the money to pay my college. Maybe, they were too busy paying for the trouble my three older sisters were getting into. My grandmother died in 1967, a few years later my aunt gave me and my three sisters a passbook bank account containing about $2000.00 each which my grandmother had funded. Mine was spent on college. Two of my sisters didn't go to college. My oldest sister dropped out after a semester in 1967(Lord knows what she was doing) . So I wonder what my sisters spent their $2000.00 on, it sure wasn't college.

Oh I forgot, my buddy also scored some hot chicks with his sparkling new vehicle. (Plus he was good looking and STILL is).

Sometimes I feel like the boy named Sue.

You have every right to be proud. You wisely spent what was given to you on your education.

You probably had to work to support yourself while you attended college. As long as you did not steal or commit any crime to accomplish what you have done, you have earned it. There is no shame in any of that.

Give yourself some credit. You didn't go to prison or kill anybody, and that is in itself a blessing. Those are the things that matter in life. As long as you always stop for pedestrians you're on the right track.

There are people who struggle with disabilities and everything else. Be glad you are blessed with good health and find positive ways to improve your self-esteem.

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

I knew a kid like that in high school and he was lonely as hell. It was strange to think he had everything everyone else wished they had, but he was really not happy. His parents cared more about their money then they did about him. That's how it seemed, anyway. I think people who get everything handed to them don't necessarily have it better.

I have got to agree with this.

I appreciate all of you who have a great work ethic, but life can get twisted sometimes. I get spoiled because my parents get me whatever I want in the snap of a finger. And I actually felt guilty. I thought it was unfair that my parents had to spend their money on crap I don't need when they can use it to pay the bills or buy better-quality food.

But, I try not to be jealous, and it's weird when I've been searching for a job, day in day out, ever since I was 14 years old, being rejected by every single place. I have no job yet, but it takes some convincing to tell my mom that I really don't need anything but a stable foundation that I have created by my own trial and tribulations. [and food]

So, I got to hand it to Suz, sometimes "spoiled brats" don't have it better.

But, like many of you, I wouldn't have it any other way. There's a lot of crap to deal with right now, but I'd rather deal with the shit myself, than to be babied and have life sugarcoated for me on a silver platter.

[Electrophile]

and it's weird when I've been searching for a job, day in day out, ever since I was 14 years old, being rejected by every single place.

I understand this. After I graduated from school, I like everyone else, went out in search of work in which to use this paper I spent $50,000 working to get. Seeing as I had no marketing/advertising work experience before college or even during school as I had no time to work, I started looking for entry-level positions, something where I could learn from more established employees, get some experience on my resume and work my way up. I applied to 30 different marketing/advertising agencies in the time between graduating and moving to North Carolina and not one place hired me. I knew it wasn't lack of experience that was the cause, as all of these jobs I was interviewing for said that experience wasn't necessary. It was aggravating as hell to see jobs that are clearly for you, yet you won't be hired for.

So I completely understand how draining and hurtful it can be.

[Suz]

Thanks, DeepBlackZeppelin. Yeah, I know what you mean. There's nothing like having nothing to fall back on, to show us what we're made of

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

I understand this. After I graduated from school, I like everyone else, went out in search of work in which to use this paper I spent $50,000 working to get. Seeing as I had no marketing/advertising work experience before college or even during school as I had no time to work, I started looking for entry-level positions, something where I could learn from more established employees, get some experience on my resume and work my way up. I applied to 30 different marketing/advertising agencies in the time between graduating and moving to North Carolina and not one place hired me. I knew it wasn't lack of experience that was the cause, as all of these jobs I was interviewing for said that experience wasn't necessary. It was aggravating as hell to see jobs that are clearly for you, yet you won't be hired for.

So I completely understand how draining and hurtful it can be.

Thanks, I do hope that you did get your big break

Thanks, DeepBlackZeppelin. Yeah, I know what you mean. There's nothing like having nothing to fall back on, to show us what we're made of

The more crap you deal with, the stronger you get

[ally]

I don't know how true that is, though. Sometimes the mother is the disciplinarian and the father isn't. Or sometimes as was my parents' case, they were abused as children and didn't want to become abusers themselves, so they never physically disciplined their kids. My parents found other ways to punish my sister and I when we we misbehaved and they didn't have to lay a hand on us.

My wife and I never had to lay a hand on our kids either. My kids, were a whole lot less of a handfull than I was. They obviously took after their mother The point that I was trying to get at is that it does take both parents. That's not to say that one can't do it but two is better, as long as they don't allow the kids to play them against each other. Christ, if that is the case then the kids will never learn and your life will be hell. Look I had this discussion today with my wife because I think my youngest son is being a bit of a dick at the moment. My approach to handling the situation is completely different than hers but, we discussed it. We are on the same page and Dipstick will not be able to play us off He's 19 and knows it all....no what I mean ?

[manderlyh]

I am happy that my daughters are grown, out on their own, responsibe, and not knocked up.

Thank God I haven't dissapointed my mother in this manner so far.

...but my younger sister has!

(I'm gonna be an aunt in October.)

[ally]

All teenage brats at that age think they know it all. And they are not going to listen no matter how hard you try. The subtle approach I think is better generally speaking but not in all cases. I am happy that my daughters are grown, out on their own, responsibe, and not knocked up.

Well I can't really call him a brat. He is just finding his way at the moment. My point was that his mom and I may disagree what that means but, I will compromise because I know she knows him on a completely different level than I do. Mom's are like that. Dad's tend to be a little less tolerant with they're son's He is a good kid. I 'm just a little less inclined to put up with the BS

[MadScreamingGallery]

As with several of the other posters here, I grew up poor but I don’t think that alone explains either my desire to move out of poverty or why I have a strong work ethic. There are many examples of family members and people I grew up with who, despite being poor, never acquired a strong work ethic and never made it out of poverty. What I can say is that, from the time I was quite young, I knew that I wanted to live a different sort of life. I lived in a city where I was exposed to people who lived differently and I knew that was what I wanted for myself. Everyone’s path out of poverty is different but I finally figured out that for me, that path meant becoming educated and having a career.

Although my husband grew up in what would be described as (at least in that era) an “affluent” family, he has an incredibly strong work ethic. His family lived quite well – and he easily could have been spoiled - but he and his sister were always expected to work; nothing was just handed to them. My husband and his parents are quite proud of the fact that we both made it on our own.

Although we weren’t always in a position to give our children material things, we were always able to spend time with them. Now that they’re older, they remember those times we spent together much more than they remember the material things. Even when we were in the position where we could "spoil" them with material things, my husband and I chose to spend time with our children. As soon as they were able to work doing yard work or babysitting, we made each of our children get jobs so they could "learn the value of a dollar". They grew up watching us volunteer in the developing world and saw us give money to various charitable organizations and I that stayed with them. My husband and I never needed to lay a hand on our children either. We always took them everywhere (including traveling the world and living abroad) with us and they (almost) never misbehaved. When one of them did start to misbehave, either my husband or I would take that child out of the restaurant, theater, shop, etc

The rules were so stringent I moved out on my own when I was 17. My father would not pay for our college education, we had to 'earn' everything. And guess what?! As we can see...the 3 of us turned out great! (IMHO Ahahahha!) I learned to be responsible for myself. I learned if I wanted something badly enough I was the one that had to make it happen. I learned to be self reliant and that I can make anything happen if I want it badly enough. I learned to be a free thinker and temper my wild side just enough to fit into a society that I used to loathe. End result. The people who work in the mail room at my firm are higher educated than I am. I get payed handsomely for my sharp mind and people skills. I've learned to save money, and have a good 401k plan, I own my own home in a highly desirable area, [...]

LOL, according to some, I was a “difficult” child too. All what you wrote that I put in bold could have described me too. I was also emancipated at young age; when my husband met me, I was halfway through college (which I paid for myself through a combination of grants, scholarships, loans, and work study) and was putting any extra money I had earned into short-term credit investments. Since then, my husband and I have made and lost money and have had our share of financial ups and downs, but we always picked ourselves up and started over again. I will be the first to admit that I sometimes feel a bit of a smug glow when someone who expected much less of me, sees how I turned out.

[manderlyh]

Although we weren't always in a position to give our children material things, we were always able to spend time with them. Now that they're older, they remember those times we spent together much more than they remember the material things. Even when we were in the position where we could "spoil" them with material things, my husband and I chose to spend time with our children. As soon as they were able to work doing yard work or babysitting, we made each of our children get jobs so they could "learn the value of a dollar".

You know, that's what I remember the most about growing up. I couldn't tell you for anything what I got for Christmas one year or the next, or even last year from my parents. I do, obviously, remember particular gifts that were ones that I really, really liked; but the point is, I remember THINGS WE DID with my parents.

My dad died five years ago, and occaisionally, I'll call my sister or send her an email, myspace message, whatever just to ask her if she remembered certain things about my dad. She usually does, and it makes our days.

We VERY rarely talk about "what our dad gave us--"in fact, I decided to edit this post to say that I can't remember a time at all that we've tried to reminisce about our dad by talking about what he bought us. (Other than candy and pop..that's a different story)

[JethroTull]

You know, that's what I remember the most about growing up. I couldn't tell you for anything what I got for Christmas one year or the next, or even last year from my parents. I do, obviously, remember particular gifts that were ones that I really, really liked; but the point is, I remember THINGS WE DID with my parents.

My dad died five years ago, and occaisionally, I'll call my sister or send her an email, myspace message, whatever just to ask her if she remembered certain things about my dad. She usually does, and it makes our days.

We VERY rarely talk about "what our dad gave us--"in fact, I decided to edit this post to say that I can't remember a time at all that we've tried to reminisce about our dad by talking about what he bought us. (Other than candy and pop..that's a different story)

Mandy, you are one special person.

My dad would have been 90 this coming Saturday. He died in 1983 at the young age of 65. I've been a bit sad lately. JT.

[manderlyh]

^yeesh. It sucks to really think about how much you can miss someone like that, doesn't it?

I think about my dad every single day. I miss him every single day. It's gotten easier to deal with the fact that he's not around anymore as I've gotten more distant from his death, but it will never be gone.

[JethroTull]

^yeesh. It sucks to really think about how much you can miss someone like that, doesn't it?

I think about my dad every single day. I miss him every single day. It's gotten easier to deal with the fact that he's not around anymore as I've gotten more distant from his death, but it will never be gone.

Very well said. I spoke to my mom and sister earlier today and brought up the subject of dad's 90th and I sensed they didn't want to talk about it. I'm going to scan some old pictures and email them to my sisters. Well, I'm sorry you lost your dad. Judging from your age, it sounds like he died young.

JT