Medhb Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Just Kid'n Perfect! I do believe once I asked Spats "Have you considered masterbation? You'd be crazy not to!" Spats: If, then, else...loop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I know it's a waste of time to give advice here - but if all this is real, spat's problem is that all the women in his local have experienced or gotten word about him not doing "this", or "that", or "it". I'd figure that a guy up in Canada would enjoy beaver??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 The list of things spats won't do in bed with a woman is longer than the list of things he will do. No wonder he can't get laid. There's nothing wrong with having boundaries you don't want to cross, my issue with him is how childish and immature his opinions of those sex acts are. It's like he's 13. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 The list of things spats won't do in bed with a woman is longer than the list of things he will do. No wonder he can't get laid. There's nothing wrong with having boundaries you don't want to cross, my issue with him is how childish and immature his opinions of those sex acts are. It's like he's 13. I'll touch yours if you touch mine... Hum, I don't think even THAT works for Spats! You just touch mine while I lay here Spats, ya know we luv ya! Look how many of us are dedicated to getting you laid! And maaaybe...do we dare to hope our Dear Boy could ever get m-m-m-married?!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Oh, don't suggest the word "marriage". He absolutely does not want to get married. If he can't handle a live-in girlfriend wanting to spend an evening with him, how the hell do you think he's going to handle a wife and children? Please. I'd fear for the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
59LesPaul Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Spats, ya know we luv ya! Not all of us...... Oh, don't suggest the word "marriage". He absolutely does not want to get married. If he can't handle a live-in girlfriend wanting to spend an evening with him, how the hell do you think he's going to handle a wife and children? Please. I'd fear for the kids. I'd fear for humankind in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainsbarre Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Oh, don't suggest the word "marriage". He absolutely does not want to get married. If he can't handle a live-in girlfriend wanting to spend an evening with him, how the hell do you think he's going to handle a wife and children? Please. I'd fear for the kids. Maybe he needs a concubine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 How about a mannequin - they're less scary looking, down there!?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 How about a mannequin - they're less scary looking, down there!?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 The only way Spats will ever get laid is if he is reincarnated as an egg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 The only way Spats will ever get laid is if he is reincarnated as an egg. But what if the Egg came first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 But what if the Egg came first? Poor Spats, he might as well just hang it up...he's screwed. (or not ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Poor Spats, he might as well just hang it up...he's screwed. (or not ) I'm going with NOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 But what if the Egg came first? Trust me bro. The egg WILL come first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Maybe Spats is just from the wrong era...... The Good Wives Guide from the 1950's: Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. then run a dustcloth over the tables. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind to. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him: You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his: Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair. or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Maybe Spats is just from the wrong era...... The Good Wives Guide from the 1950's: Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. then run a dustcloth over the tables. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind to. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him: You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his: Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair. or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place. And 1/2 a century later, that's now the Good Husbands Guide Maybe Spats should take a few pointers from that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jabe Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 And 1/2 a century later, that's now the Good Husbands Guide Maybe Spats should take a few pointers from that.... Wonder if spats resembles Robert Young? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 And 1/2 a century later, that's now the Good Husbands Guide Maybe Spats should take a few pointers from that.... I certainly have. It's why I've been single for 21 years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 I certainly have. It's why I've been single for 21 years now. Well, you know the roles are reversing, I'm not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, but many men are now staying home and keeping house and watching the children and the wives are the ones working and bringing home the money. Unfortunately, now days most families need TWO incomes to survive. I think that's not good for the generation of children that grow up on day care, but it's become an neccesity in these economic times. That Guide is funny though! Hard to imagine it applying to either a male or a female spouse! Honestly though, I wouldn't work if I didn't have to and I would LOVE to be a housewife. And MANY of those things I would do....because I do promote having a harmonious and peaceful homelife. Between my husband and I, whoever gets home first usually lights a couple candles or an incense and picks up after the dog so the second person who gets home comes home to a nice atmosphere. We both contribute..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Well, you know the roles are reversing, I'm not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, but many men are now staying home and keeping house and watching the children and the wives are the ones working and bringing home the money. Unfortunately, now days most families need TWO incomes to survive. I think that's not good for the generation of children that grow up on day care, but it's become an neccesity in these economic times. That Guide is funny though! Hard to imagine it applying to either a male or a female spouse! Honestly though, I wouldn't work if I didn't have to and I would LOVE to be a housewife. And MANY of those things I would do....because I do promote having a harmonious and peaceful homelife. Between my husband and I, whoever gets home first usually lights a couple candles or an incense and picks up after the dog so the second person who gets home comes home to a nice atmosphere. We both contribute..... All true, but remember.....We've never been to Del's house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 All true, but remember.....We've never been to Del's house. Oh, I have a feeling that Del's wife is a pretty strong lady, I really can't imagine him with someone meek or timid...I'd even be willing to bet that he's done dishes once or twice but I bet he wouldn't admit it either... No, I take that back...I think Del WOULD admit it! (Like admit is a bad thing ) We'll have to wait for his return to find out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 (edited) Spats, you have a fear of being rejected and I think that could be causing you a lot of issues. As I was reading the Readers Digest in the Dr.s office there was an article - Are you Normal or Not. The following question and answer were posted. Change the she to he and her to him and I think it might make some sense...hope this helps, truly. I haven't had a second date in three years. If a guy doesn't call me within 24 hours of the first date, I get enraged and never want to speak to him again. When he does call, the conversation inevitably goes poorly. My friends say I'm an impatient perfectionist, but I deserve perfection and it's worth waiting for, right? Uh, no and no. None of us is perfect, so you'll be waiting forever. But that's probably your secret plan: You're afraid of intimacy because you don't think you're worth it, so you sabotage yourself by setting up a rigid rule that gives you an easy out. You don't want a second date. Why not? Yale psychology professor Marianne LaFrance, PhD, suspects "an enormous problem with self-esteem. You're worried you're in fact a bad person" and that if someone actually got close to you, he'd see that. Of course, you're not really a bad person, says Joseph Himmelsbach, PhD, a professor of psychology at State University of New York Upstate Medical University. And there are lots of worthy men out there, too, he says, but, alas, no perfect ones. "So give the guys a break." I don't expect women to be perfect at all. That girl is over the top. It's never bothered me if a girl didn't call the next day. If anything i would be put off if she called too soon. It would make her look too needy or desperate. Hell one girl i went out on a date with was already calling when i got home after the date. I was just talking to her ten minutes earlier. I do have what my friends have said are too many deal breakers. What ones should i drop? I don't think most are that unreasonable. Edited August 2, 2008 by spats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 It's the game of life. Grow up and take a chance like everyone else. Rejection is the opposite of acceptance. Love, the opposite of hate. Winner, the opposite of loser. Hero, the opposite of coward. Are you getting this? Do you see where you are in the scheme of things? It's your fault if you choose to be inactive or to put yourself out there to be available. The fruit of life is there for you to pick. If you hesitate, it spoils. Live in the moment. SIDE NOTE: Actually, I feel that it is a waste of time to reply to Spats, but I find so many flaws in his "logic" that I find myself replying to denounce his supposed "genius". He is definitely a spambot-like creature. No mystery there......AND...I've seen better! Everyone else is not taking a chance though. You don't see a lot of women taking the same chance. So just go out there not knowing if they are interested or not and see what happens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 You're right. You know what you should do? You should make some little signs or buttons that say "please hit on me Spats!" Then, hand them out where ever you go, and tell those damn girls that if they expect you to make a move, they should wear those-you're not a damn mind reader. If i could i would. How else am i supposed to know if there interested or not. I cannot tell anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 The list of things spats won't do in bed with a woman is longer than the list of things he will do. No wonder he can't get laid. There's nothing wrong with having boundaries you don't want to cross, my issue with him is how childish and immature his opinions of those sex acts are. It's like he's 13. You are blowing out of proportion what i won't do though. All i said was that i don't like to go downtown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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