Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[wanna be drummer]

Okay. I didn''t know if you were still with that girl or not. That's just how my luck is i guess. You are taken and you are getting women asking you to dance and stuff. I am single and am not getting that. Life isn't fair.

Isn't a long distance relationhsip hard? I would never bother with one.

It's not that long-distance. I mean, we went out for two years before i left, so it's hard to just say "Well I'm leaving, see ya." She comes up every few eeks, and I go home every few weeks so we see each other enough.

[spats]

Well, that can happen. Guys do get like that, but sometimes other things fuel fights - drink. It is dumb, but for some people it can be immensely flattering having someone fight over them.

This is your low self-esteem and insecurity talking. You know, I say the most disgusting things about myself, and it hurts my boyfriend to hear me say as much because he doesn't agree. What you think and feel about yourself isn't reflective of how someone else will think and feel about you. Don't put yourself in a woman's shoes because you'll start slowly chipping away at everything you like. Put yourself in your shoes and tell yourself what is it that you can do to improve your confidence around women. Because that's what's wrong. Your confidence - and you have none.

Then listen up. We're not telling you this for our own health. If people say you should take more charge in your life, do so.

That saying is what my mum tells me when I do something half-arsed and clearly not to her standard. It's not meant to be aggressive. And my mum never told me how to be around guys I was interested in. She told me to be nice to everyone. If someone likes your romantically because of it, that's a bonus. I'm not polite and friendly with people so they can fancy me or whatever. I'm polite and friendly because I would like to be treated the same way.

If one of my female friends moans about the guy she likes I'd say the same. Ask him out and shut the fuck up or pine over him...and shut the fuck up. Of course, I'm not completely coldhearted. If I had a friend who clearly couldn't say how she felt, I may speak to him myself. I'd be sympathetic to her. Either way, I'd tell them to do something about it if they're not content and always whining about the person. If they know they'd have something to lose if they said how they felt (ie. his friendship), then I would always be there for her. But I don't tolerate people constantly moaning about their love life (or lack of) if they're not doing anything about it.

Any woman who loves it when a man fights over her has issues. She has been watching too many soap operas or something. I have never fought over a girl in my life.

I think the main thing that would improve my uncertainty is if i knew that the woman was is interested in me. if i knew she found me good looking. But if you have no clue how can you feel good about approaching or asking out. But another thing is i don't like women who won't step up and contribute or do her share. Who acts like Ms.Princess. The ideal situation is to meet a girl where you can both meet half way. No?

If the women here think i should be Mr.macho and do everything and let the woman do absolutely nothing, i should take that advice?

So you would speak on behalf of her to the guy she liked???? What would you say? That's what i had my buddy do and she didn't like it.

[longdistancewinner]

Any woman who loves it when a man fights over her has issues. She has been watching too many soap operas or something. I have never fought over a girl in my life.

I think the main thing that would improve my uncertainty is if i knew that the woman was is interested in me. if i knew she found me good looking. But if you have no clue how can you feel good about approaching or asking out. But another thing is i don't like women who won't step up and contribute or do her share. Who acts like Ms.Princess. The ideal situation is to meet a girl where you can both meet half way. No?

If the women here think i should be Mr.macho and do everything and let the woman do absolutely nothing, i should take that advice?

So you would speak on behalf of her to the guy she liked???? What would you say? That's what i had my buddy do and she didn't like it.

I'm not saying a woman loves to have a man fight over her - rather, some will find it flattering. Though it's a rather old fashioned notion, some would call it passion.

You'll never really know how someone thinks or feels about you. The best you can do is be yourself (granted you're not a nasty person) and strike a friendship with them. You need to have a foundation in order to lay a few bricks, Spats. That's the problem. You don't want that foundation. What would you do if the woman was intimidated by your looks? How would you feel if the cute girl you liked was so nervous around you she barely spoke a few words? Would you let her go? Or would you try and strike something up? A woman who doesn't go and ask a man out isn't a 'Princess', she may be just as afraid as you are. You need to realise this. Women can be burned just as much as you can.

Noone's saying you ought to be like Mr Macho, but the fact that you seem to interpret the action of taking control as being macho says alot.

I would speak to the guy my friend liked if I knew it would help. But I'm 23 - I've long since gone up to my best friend's crush and said, 'My mate likes you'. I would ask, if the guy knew her, whether he liked her or not. There's no need to beat about the bush. If he didn't fancy her, I'd leave it. If he did, well, I'd tell him she felt the same. The problem you had was that a grown man had his friend speak on his behalf to a girl. Does this not strike you as pathetic? Fuck it, if you can't tell her to her face, tell her through text or something. But you don't ever get your friend to do it. At least not when you friggin' left school some years before. It's a turn off, frankly, and the girl may think there's something off about you if you couldn't even ask her out to her face.

[JethroTull]

Hey Spats, check out this move. A college buddy, who I happened to live with for about 6 months, used this more than once. He'd invite a chick over for dinner. After dinner and a drink or two, he would ask her if she was interested in seeing his clock radio. The clock radio was really nothing special, but it's located on his night stand next to his bed. You can guess the rest. He got laid ALL THE TIME.

[Pip]

SOMEONE END THIS MADNESS!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hehe

[JethroTull]

SOMEONE END THIS MADNESS!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hehe

What may I ask was the final straw?

hehaw

[spats]

I'm not saying a woman loves to have a man fight over her - rather, some will find it flattering. Though it's a rather old fashioned notion, some would call it passion.

You'll never really know how someone thinks or feels about you. The best you can do is be yourself (granted you're not a nasty person) and strike a friendship with them. You need to have a foundation in order to lay a few bricks, Spats. That's the problem. You don't want that foundation. What would you do if the woman was intimidated by your looks? How would you feel if the cute girl you liked was so nervous around you she barely spoke a few words? Would you let her go? Or would you try and strike something up? A woman who doesn't go and ask a man out isn't a 'Princess', she may be just as afraid as you are. You need to realise this. Women can be burned just as much as you can.

Noone's saying you ought to be like Mr Macho, but the fact that you seem to interpret the action of taking control as being macho says alot.

I would speak to the guy my friend liked if I knew it would help. But I'm 23 - I've long since gone up to my best friend's crush and said, 'My mate likes you'. I would ask, if the guy knew her, whether he liked her or not. There's no need to beat about the bush. If he didn't fancy her, I'd leave it. If he did, well, I'd tell him she felt the same. The problem you had was that a grown man had his friend speak on his behalf to a girl. Does this not strike you as pathetic? Fuck it, if you can't tell her to her face, tell her through text or something. But you don't ever get your friend to do it. At least not when you friggin' left school some years before. It's a turn off, frankly, and the girl may think there's something off about you if you couldn't even ask her out to her face.

I doubt there is woman out there who has ever been intimidated by my looks. Turned off maybe but i doubt there was ever a girl that thought i was so good looking she couldn't approach. I wish there was. That would be flattering as hell.

How would i know that cute girl liked me or not if she was too nervous to talk to me? If i did i would try and make things easier. Women should do that too. Make things eaiser for me.

I doubt women get like that or that they get too scared to do that. I never meet many shy girls when i am out. They are always talking and stuff. They don't look intimidated by anything. Are women seriously afraid of rejection?? When do women ever risk it???? The odds of a man ever turning down a pretty girl is almost next to 0 unless he is already taken.

With my buddies they don't seem to need a foundation with a girl to hook up with her. They make it seem effortless and the women seem to be always going for them. I would give anything for it to be easy like them.

I remember at harbourfront this past summer I was sitting next to these pretty boys and i was sitting there getting no attention as usuall and one girl comes up to one of these guys and says "my friend thinks you are cute" and to make a long story short numbers were exchanged,etc. THAT is what i would love to happen to me. I just shook my head that night. I wanted to ask the dude what his secret was. I wish i had.

You are right in hindsight i should have not got my buddy to do that but i didn't see any alternative. I couldn't tell if she liked me. Do a lot of women just not know how to send signals? You can tell when a guy is interested. What is the best way to tell when a woman wants to hook up other than being honest and just saying it. Wouldn't honesty be a great solution?

[~tangerine~]

With my buddies they don't seem to need a foundation with a girl to hook up with her. They make it seem effortless and the women seem to be always going for them. I would give anything for it to be easy like them.

I remember at harbourfront this past summer I was sitting next to these pretty boys and i was sitting there getting no attention as usuall and one girl comes up to one of these guys and says "my friend thinks you are cute" and to make a long story short numbers were exchanged,etc. THAT is what i would love to happen to me. I just shook my head that night. I wanted to ask the dude what his secret was. I wish i had.

This has bothered me but i never really thought about it enough to ask, do your buddies ever get into serious relationships with girls? The way you talk about them, they are always "hooking up". Sounds like the have made their way through half the girls in Toronto by now ... anyway, did you ever call that girl back? My guess is you didn't.

Take a good bit of what longdistancewinner said to you into consideration. Go for what you want. Don't expect the girls (who obviously don't make the first moves on you) to start now. Either take the initiative or don't bother worrying about women. Maybe some day, out of the blue, some hot chick will make the first move. Do you want to wait to see if that ever happens? Take responsibility for what you want to achieve in life.

[JPP65]

I have wanted to say this for a long time.

You get what you give. The energy you give off is what you get back.

Maybe women don't ask you out because of what they are thinking/feeling ( this guy is a jerk/loser and dosn't care about anyone but himself)

People can pick up on all kinds of energy.....negative, positive, ect. with in the first 5 min of meeting someone you know if it's going farther or not. Spats you really need to change your views on how to treat people. If you want to be treated nice ( drinks, dinner bought for you) you are going to have to do it first and MEAN IT!!!! be nice Spats!!! then you will find someone who is compatible with yourself.

Dont "quote " me or anything else. I'm not getting into the respond/quote thing with you.

I said all I have to say

Good luck and I really do hope you find someone as this thread needs to die!!!!

[Dzldoc]

I doubt there is woman out there who has ever been intimidated by my looks. Turned off maybe but i doubt there was ever a girl that thought i was so good looking she couldn't approach. I wish there was. That would be flattering as hell.

How would i know that cute girl liked me or not if she was too nervous to talk to me? If i did i would try and make things easier. Women should do that too. Make things eaiser for me.

I doubt women get like that or that they get too scared to do that. I never meet many shy girls when i am out. They are always talking and stuff. They don't look intimidated by anything. Are women seriously afraid of rejection?? When do women ever risk it???? The odds of a man ever turning down a pretty girl is almost next to 0 unless he is already taken.

With my buddies they don't seem to need a foundation with a girl to hook up with her. They make it seem effortless and the women seem to be always going for them. I would give anything for it to be easy like them.

I remember at harbourfront this past summer I was sitting next to these pretty boys and i was sitting there getting no attention as usuall and one girl comes up to one of these guys and says "my friend thinks you are cute" and to make a long story short numbers were exchanged,etc. THAT is what i would love to happen to me. I just shook my head that night. I wanted to ask the dude what his secret was. I wish i had.

You are right in hindsight i should have not got my buddy to do that but i didn't see any alternative. I couldn't tell if she liked me. Do a lot of women just not know how to send signals? You can tell when a guy is interested. What is the best way to tell when a woman wants to hook up other than being honest and just saying it. Wouldn't honesty be a great solution?

[Pip]

What may I ask was the final straw?

hehaw

I'd say it is the total stupidity on a holistic level...

I mean I think my IQ dropped just reading from this thread...

[Virginia]

I'd say it is the total stupidity on a holistic level...

I mean I think my IQ dropped just reading from this thread...

It's hard; you initially respond with good intentions; then you respond in frustration. Then you ignore the thread for a while, and out of curiosity, check again; and become upset with yourself when you respond yet again, because you know the advice will never be taken. But because you are an optimist, you keep checking; hoping some of the advice will stick, or the lightbulb will come on.

[longdistancewinner]

How would i know that cute girl liked me or not if she was too nervous to talk to me? If i did i would try and make things easier. Women should do that too. Make things eaiser for me.

They should make things easier for you? Why don't you make it easier for yourself? There are people with no money right now. People who are dying. People who've lost their homes. And the worst thing in your life is that some random 'hot' girl won't fucking bang you! Have some self-respect for shit's sake. You want something bad enough, you go out and get it. End of.

I doubt women get like that or that they get too scared to do that. I never meet many shy girls when i am out. They are always talking and stuff. They don't look intimidated by anything. Are women seriously afraid of rejection?? When do women ever risk it???? The odds of a man ever turning down a pretty girl is almost next to 0 unless he is already taken.

You're doubting my own sex? I don't know what Toronto's like, but I'm willing to guess that for every man afraid of rejection, there is a woman just the same. I wasted almost a 1/4 of the year falling for my boyfriend, too afraid to tell him, all the while not knowing he was falling for me. I get so mad that I wasted those months not saying a thing, but I wasn't to know he felt the same. I was too afraid that he'd reject me. And I was pretty good at hiding how I felt.

You are right in hindsight i should have not got my buddy to do that but i didn't see any alternative. I couldn't tell if she liked me. Do a lot of women just not know how to send signals? You can tell when a guy is interested. What is the best way to tell when a woman wants to hook up other than being honest and just saying it. Wouldn't honesty be a great solution?

Yeah there was. You could've done it yourself. Be a man. Who know who likes who when they start talking in a bar or club? You don't. My boyfriend told me, when we were first friends, that he didn't like me 'in that way'. I wasn't offended because I felt the same. A few months later he told me it took all his will power to not kiss me when we'd hug. See, first impressions mean fuck all, Spats. It's what comes after that's important.

I'm with Tangerine on this. When you say 'hookup' what do you mean? Relationship or fling? Do you want a relationship or just a shag? Because, really, one you can pay for - the other you can't.

[~tangerine~]

They should make things easier for you? Why don't you make it easier for yourself? There are people with no money right now. People who are dying. People who've lost their homes. And the worst thing in your life is that some random 'hot' girl won't fucking bang you! Have some self-respect for shit's sake. You want something bad enough, you go out and get it. End of.

You're doubting my own sex? I don't know what Toronto's like, but I'm willing to guess that for every man afraid of rejection, there is a woman just the same. I wasted almost a 1/4 of the year falling for my boyfriend, too afraid to tell him, all the while not knowing he was falling for me. I get so mad that I wasted those months not saying a thing, but I wasn't to know he felt the same. I was too afraid that he'd reject me. And I was pretty good at hiding how I felt.

Yeah there was. You could've done it yourself. Be a man. Who know who likes who when they start talking in a bar or club? You don't. My boyfriend told me, when we were first friends, that he didn't like me 'in that way'. I wasn't offended because I felt the same. A few months later he told me it took all his will power to not kiss me when we'd hug. See, first impressions mean fuck all, Spats. It's what comes after that's important.

I'm with Tangerine on this. When you say 'hookup' what do you mean? Relationship or fling? Do you want a relationship or just a shag? Because, really, one you can pay for - the other you can't.

All this sounds very good Will any of it sink in, lol? Yeah, i am starting to wonder more, does Spats "just" want a hook-up? Unfortunately, he will expect her to pay, if you know what i'm saying...

[Hickory Man]

It's hard; you initially respond with good intentions; then you respond in frustration. Then you ignore the thread for a while, and out of curiosity, check again; and become upset with yourself when you respond yet again, because you know the advice will never be taken. But because you are an optimist, you keep checking; hoping some of the advice will stick, or the lightbulb will come on.

Just the reason I looked in here....

Well done Virginia!

Ok....don't have to set foot in here for anopther six months.

[Pip]

It's hard; you initially respond with good intentions; then you respond in frustration. Then you ignore the thread for a while, and out of curiosity, check again; and become upset with yourself when you respond yet again, because you know the advice will never be taken. But because you are an optimist, you keep checking; hoping some of the advice will stick, or the lightbulb will come on.

hehe yeah... that doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon...

You know Gender issues aside I recon if Spats is like this 'in real life' then the reason he isn't getting any lovin' (or whatever it is he wants) has nothing to with his looks, or money, or anything he may think is the problem... In fact 'the problem' has nothing to do with the women at all.. as far as I can tell they are probably oblivious to the insanity that is occurring every moment they are around him... the judgment that is beyond any normal persons psyche...

To me the problem is quite clear (to most of us I assume the problem is clear)... maybe he will one day figure it out...

Although I think you have to be willing to learn and willing to open your mind to the truth and vulgarity of the human condition...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." (there is one from Oscar Wilde)

and if anything or nothing at all Spats is Consistent...

[spats]

This has bothered me but i never really thought about it enough to ask, do your buddies ever get into serious relationships with girls? The way you talk about them, they are always "hooking up". Sounds like the have made their way through half the girls in Toronto by now ... anyway, did you ever call that girl back? My guess is you didn't.

Take a good bit of what longdistancewinner said to you into consideration. Go for what you want. Don't expect the girls (who obviously don't make the first moves on you) to start now. Either take the initiative or don't bother worrying about women. Maybe some day, out of the blue, some hot chick will make the first move. Do you want to wait to see if that ever happens? Take responsibility for what you want to achieve in life.

Some of my buddies are married (they don't sniff around anymore), some have steady girlfriends and some hop from girl to girl looking for the right one. I have been hanging out with my single buddies more for obvious reasons. My married buddies depress me, and the ones with girlfriends are busy with them a lot of the time.

No, i didn't call her back. I told you I left her a message with my number and said if she wanted to go out sometime to call me. She told my buddy that was not good enough. That i would have to call and ask her out properly. What am i supposed to do? Let her keep dictating how things are going to go and how i am to do things and behave? I am not going to be bossed around. She's not THAT special.

What if i go for a woman i want and she says no? Which will likely be the answer. How do i go about not feeling like i did when it happened to me when i was in highscool all the time? Because the pattern will likely be the same. It's not as if i am getting better looking with age.

[spats]

I have wanted to say this for a long time.

You get what you give. The energy you give off is what you get back.

Maybe women don't ask you out because of what they are thinking/feeling ( this guy is a jerk/loser and dosn't care about anyone but himself)

People can pick up on all kinds of energy.....negative, positive, ect. with in the first 5 min of meeting someone you know if it's going farther or not. Spats you really need to change your views on how to treat people. If you want to be treated nice ( drinks, dinner bought for you) you are going to have to do it first and MEAN IT!!!! be nice Spats!!! then you will find someone who is compatible with yourself.

Dont "quote " me or anything else. I'm not getting into the respond/quote thing with you.

I said all I have to say

Good luck and I really do hope you find someone as this thread needs to die!!!!

But you can't tell just by looking at someone if they are a jerk or if they don't care about anyone but themselves. Kat and i were talking about this. Women don't really have a radar for that stuff. Or else they would only hook up with nice guys. Which they don't.

I think i am a nice person. If i like someone i treat them nice. I don't wait on them hand and foot but i am nice. If women are nice to me, i am nice to them.

And to clarify something...iam not looking for women to buy me food and drink. I happily pay my own way.

[spats]

They should make things easier for you? Why don't you make it easier for yourself? There are people with no money right now. People who are dying. People who've lost their homes. And the worst thing in your life is that some random 'hot' girl won't fucking bang you! Have some self-respect for shit's sake. You want something bad enough, you go out and get it. End of.

You're doubting my own sex? I don't know what Toronto's like, but I'm willing to guess that for every man afraid of rejection, there is a woman just the same. I wasted almost a 1/4 of the year falling for my boyfriend, too afraid to tell him, all the while not knowing he was falling for me. I get so mad that I wasted those months not saying a thing, but I wasn't to know he felt the same. I was too afraid that he'd reject me. And I was pretty good at hiding how I felt.

Yeah there was. You could've done it yourself. Be a man. Who know who likes who when they start talking in a bar or club? You don't. My boyfriend told me, when we were first friends, that he didn't like me 'in that way'. I wasn't offended because I felt the same. A few months later he told me it took all his will power to not kiss me when we'd hug. See, first impressions mean fuck all, Spats. It's what comes after that's important.

I'm with Tangerine on this. When you say 'hookup' what do you mean? Relationship or fling? Do you want a relationship or just a shag? Because, really, one you can pay for - the other you can't.

I would really love to make everything easier for myself? How would that be done?

Then how did you and your boyfriend hook up???? If you weren't saying anything to each other??

That's the difference between me and you. If a girl said to me "i didn't find you attractive at first" i would be very offended. What i would hear when she said that is "your looks are not good enough to attract someone right away".

When i have been out you can tell when people think other people are attractive and they want to hook up. I told you about what happened at harbourfront. I think that's why i have a problem telling if a woman is interested in me or not. Because if she is not forward you can't tell. And i don't want a woman to be physically attracted to me over time. I want her to think i am hot right away. That's a lot more flattering. If i happens over time it makes me feel unattractive.

When i say "hook up" i don't mean one night stand or anything. I mean she thinks i am hot and wants to get to know me and spend time with me,etc.

Are there any sure signs a woman wants to hook up with you if she is not going to be honest or forward or do you just remain clueless until some happens or not?

[spats]

hehe yeah... that doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon...

You know Gender issues aside I recon if Spats is like this 'in real life' then the reason he isn't getting any lovin' (or whatever it is he wants) has nothing to with his looks, or money, or anything he may think is the problem... In fact 'the problem' has nothing to do with the women at all.. as far as I can tell they are probably oblivious to the insanity that is occurring every moment they are around him... the judgment that is beyond any normal persons psyche...

To me the problem is quite clear (to most of us I assume the problem is clear)... maybe he will one day figure it out...

Although I think you have to be willing to learn and willing to open your mind to the truth and vulgarity of the human condition...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." (there is one from Oscar Wilde)

and if anything or nothing at all Spats is Consistent...

Then what is the problem if it isn't looks? Is it because i am not a stereotypical, traditional, female chasing, alpha male out of a soap opera or romance novel?

[spats]

On Friday and Saturday night i went to my favorite sushi place and to a movie. By myself. Both nights. And while the food and movies were good it says that something about my situation has to change. No one should be spending Friday and Saturday night by themselves. I think i was one of the only people at the movies by myself. Everytime i saw couples it just made me feel worse.

2 of my buddies say they are going to take me out next weekend and force me to get a couple phone numbers.

[Pip]

Then what is the problem if it isn't looks? Is it because i am not a stereotypical, traditional, female chasing, alpha male out of a soap opera or romance novel?

It's probably because you are boring. I mean ... we have about 113 pages to prove that you are stubborn also, you aren't exactly intelligent either (I mean I haven't seen proof of intelligence since you have to have everything explained to you a million times and even then you ask the stupidest question).

Maybe you aren't good looking - I have no idea - but there are plenty of 'ugly' men and women out there in happy relationships - and anyway you only want to go out with good looking women too so...

actually your exact words at one stage were "cute girl" - so I guess you are patronizing also -that might be another reason they don't want you...

those are the reasons I wouldn't go out with you ... and I don't even know what you look like!

so maybe it is because you are boring, stubborn, stupid, patronizing, (and possibly gay) ugly dude - but it hardly matters when you are all those other things.

Sorry spats but it is quite possible that it is your personality and these particular traits that are hurting your chances... not your looks or anything to do with what you think women want...

You recon that women only want 'bad boys' well I'd say that going out with you would be bad.... so you should be swimming in women if your theory is correct...

it might seem harsh but he asked the question... and this is my honest opinion...

[spats]

It's probably because you are boring. I mean ... we have about 113 pages to prove that you are stubborn also, you aren't exactly intelligent either (I mean I haven't seen proof of intelligence since you have to have everything explained to you a million times and even then you ask the stupidest question).

Maybe you aren't good looking - I have no idea - but there are plenty of 'ugly' men and women out there in happy relationships - and anyway you only want to go out with good looking women too so...

actually your exact words at one stage were "cute girl" - so I guess you are patronizing also -that might be another reason they don't want you...

those are the reasons I wouldn't go out with you ... and I don't even know what you look like!

so maybe it is because you are boring, stubborn, stupid, patronizing, (and possibly gay) ugly dude - but it hardly matters when you are all those other things.

Sorry spats but it is quite possible that it is your personality and these particular traits that are hurting your chances... not your looks or anything to do with what you think women want...

You recon that women only want 'bad boys' well I'd say that going out with you would be bad.... so you should be swimming in women if your theory is correct...

it might seem harsh but he asked the question... and this is my honest opinion...

I would says it's looks because you can't tell enough about someone on just meeting them. I don't think i am boring. My friends would have told me, they have never called me stupid although they say my behavior when it comes to women is stupid. I have been called stubborn many times. Is stubborn unattractive? Am i patronizing. Is calling a girl cute patronizing? really? And i am definately not gay. And i am not a a "bad boy".

If i were to pick the main reasons it would be..

1. looks

2. I am Not a old fashioned alpha male.

[Pip]

I would says it's looks because you can't tell enough about someone on just meeting them. I don't think i am boring. My friends would have told me, they have never called me stupid although they say my behavior when it comes to women is stupid. I have been called stubborn many times. Is stubborn unattractive? Am i patronizing. Is calling a girl cute patronizing? really? And i am definately not gay. And i am not a a "bad boy".

If i were to pick the main reasons it would be..

1. looks

2. I am Not a old fashioned alpha male.

You are allowed to pick them but you would be wrong. For reasons we have already talked about.

Is calling a girl cute patronizing?

yes... calling a woman a girl is patronizing and then calling her cute adds to it...

also I only just thought of this one - you have double standards.

your 'buddies' might be stupid also... so they might not realize you are boring ...

yes stubborn is unattractive.

not gay? you seem to love your 'buddies'... and listen to everything they say

and the last one not a bad boy - well you aren't not bad... (that isn't a mistake I know what I said)

as for telling these things straight away when you first see them I think I might quote a great Aussie Poet - A.B. "Banjo" Paterson

There were some gilded youths that sat along the barber's wall.

Their eyes were dull, their heads were flat, they had no brains at all;

sometimes you can just tell...

Edited February 2, 2009 by Pip

[spats]

You are allowed to pick them but you would be wrong. For reasons we have already talked about.

yes... calling a woman a girl is patronizing and then calling her cute adds to it...

also I only just thought of this one - you have double standards.

your 'buddies' might be stupid also... so they might not realize you are boring ...

yes stubborn is unattractive.

not gay? you seem to love your 'buddies'... and listen to everything they say

and the last one not a bad boy - well you aren't not bad... (that isn't a mistake I know what I said)

as for telling these things straight away when you first see them I think I might quote a great Aussie Poet - A.B. "Banjo" Paterson

sometimes you can just tell...

Then what is the appropriate thing to call a woman to describe her good looks. You have to call them something. Women like to be complimented on their looks. I consider cute to be a nice compliment. Patronizing?

I listen my guy friends most of the time because they are my best friends and i have known them a long time. And i trust them more than anyone.