Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 It's still not right. I've sat in silence as the world changes, trying to be open and non-combative. But this crosses the line... I agree, when do we take over the world to work only for you and I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I agree, when do we take over the world to work only for you and I Today - but we need some muscle to assist all of this brain we got - is "Pops" on board??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Today - but we need some muscle to assist all of this brain we got - is "Pops" on board??? That's a definate, Pops is on vacation for now. The changes, especially this new dullard movie freaked him out. They put him on diazepam and sent him to Aruba to rest and think over if he wants to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 That's a definate, Pops is on vacation for now. The changes, especially this new dullard movie freaked him out. They put him on diazepam and sent him to Aruba to rest and think over if he wants to help. That's cool - no one deserves it more than Pops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 That's cool - no one deserves it more than Pops! He's drooling in his beer and beach babes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Well, like I said earlier... you gotta change your approach to the whole thing. From what I've heard, the criteria you seem to care about the most is if she's hot. You're also fixated on the fact that other guys seem to have it easier. It's not a competition. What works for other guys doesn't apply to every guy... if you want a serious relationship then you have to base it on what it feels like to YOU. And going into a relationship based on looks is asking for trouble... sure the gal might be hot at first, but it won't matter when you find out she's conceited and boring like you said you hated at the beginning of the thread. I look for other things in women than just looks. They have to be cool, and nice, and independant, humble. Stuff like that. But also pretty. If i met a girl who was very pretty but none of those other things i would not hook up with her. Her looks would not make me forget about those other things. But i have to think she is a hottie. You are attracted to what you are attracted to. I realize it is not a competition with other guys. I never compete with other guys. It's more extreme envy. because they have what i want or they experience what i want to experience and things come easier for them. Things are going better for them and i get pissed off. it's jealousy and envy more than anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I'm saying this to you with respect and compassion, not to be insulting. First of all, i feel for you. You have that "yearning" that many of us have. However, you have expectations that limit your options, likely, unnecessarily. I think you should seriously consider talking to a therapist. All the advice you get here doesn't seem to do you any good. You need someone who can instill the self confidence in you that is lacking. Give it some thought. But is it really a lack of self confidence? I see it as just being realistic and knowing my limitations and what i can and cannot do. I don't see what a therapist would be able to do except charge me money. I am picky and i think it does limit my options. But i don't know how to be less picky. I would see that as failure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I haven't followed much of this saga, but i think therapy is definitely what Spats needs (as many of you think as well). Spats needs to learn to love himself before he will ever realize what he really wants in a relationship. Sorry Spats, but looks are on the bottom of the list of what's really important. Looks can be in conjunction with other qualities, but should not be the basis for you choosing a partner. You say you want to be happy, then listen up! When you say love yourself do mean you love everything about yourself?? I don't think anyone feels that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 But is it really a lack of self confidence? I see it as just being realistic and knowing my limitations and what i can and cannot do. I don't see what a therapist would be able to do except charge me money. I am picky and i think it does limit my options. But i don't know how to be less picky. I would see that as failure. Then listen to some of your friends Spats. Instead of spinning your wheels eh? You need to man up and start asking girls. I could give you a few good pointers as many other men and girls can AND MORE THAN LIKELY have. Obtuse? Look it up Spats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 When you say love yourself do mean you love everything about yourself?? I don't think anyone feels that way. She speaks with much wisdom spats. I know this person. She never said be a Narcissist now did she. This person is an actual medical professional. Going on 2 decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I've read your posts on various threads and I disagree with a lot of what you say. However, I don't think that you are always wrong. I agree with you that physical attraction is important....first impressions. You don't see someone and think 'Wow, look at the personality on that person..." Looks are what you see first. But everyone's concept of good looking varies and who you deem to be good looking someone might say they are average. There's someone for everyone. However, that's just first impressions. I for one, know after talking with someone for a few minutes whether or not we're going to be compatible. Sometimes though, you've got to force yourself out of that comfort zone and not turn a potentially good thing away because you're too set in your ways.When I first met my ex-boyfriend, I thought he was a jerk. I thought he had no people skills, he was rude and physically, I was not attracted to him at all. We had a few classes together and he once saw me studying in the library and asked to borrow my notes. Long story short, after that day we started hanging out, having lunch together and I began to see he wasn't the asshole everyone thought he was but rather, VERY misunderstood. We shared so many common interests, political views, etc....and suddenly he was the most attractive guy I'd ever seen. We didn't force anything. A relationship just happened. Still, he wasn't perfect but the good outweighed the bad and I was satisfied with that. That brings me to the cliche that personality prevails. Long after the perfect toned body and the perfect set of hair is replaced by flab and a receeding hairline. And if you ever expect to ever achieve success in a relationship you've gotta be willing to meet someone half way. I'm not saying you have to compromise your beliefs or who you are, but I am saying you need to be more open minded. The relationship you seek or that you believe eludes you is unrealistic. Relationships are hard work but if you really want to find someone, BOTH parties involved have to be willing to make a few slight adjustments. There's a great quote I read somewhere: "Loving someone means taking the risk that they might fuck up your nicely ordered life." And it's true. As for rejection? You are not the first nor last human being that will have to face it. You seem to think there's some sort of conspiracy against you or something. Rejection is part of life and everyone faces it each and everyday. Fearing it is normal but letting it consume your life, or your thoughts or whatever else is unhealthy. With that attitude you might as well lock your self up in a room and start the countdown to death. That's never happened to me. I have never met a girl who i thought was plain but once i got to know her i found her hot. I have female friends who i get along good with but i would never hook up with them because i don't find them physically attractive. I agree one should not compromise your values and beliefs or change who you are. Without that you are in trouble. I have never tried to change anyone or make anyone do anything they don't want to. And i expect the same in return. That's why i hate it when you see a guy get a new girlfriend and then he starts dressing different. That's not healthy. That's happened to friends of mine. The girlfriend starts picking out clothes for him and other nonsense like that. I think i am pretty open minded. But everyone has their limits.I can compromise depending on what it is. And i think everyone is like that. I do avoid rejection. I Don't agree that everyone faces it though. Women rarely get rejected by men ever. The opposite happens all the time though. It's just that the more you get rejected the more unnattractive you feel. Especially when there are other guys not getting rejected nearly as much as you are. And the past rejection sticks in you head. I have rejection experiences that happened 10 years ago that feel like yesterday. They have even popped up in my dreams. But if i wait for them to approach then i know for sure they are interested and won't reject him. The other way is like walking a tightrope or something. I don't think i would have a problem approaching if i knew for sure the girl was interested. But there is no way of knowing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Oh, trust me. After I found out that he really did like me, and my friend wasn't just fucking with my head, I tried. I went after him like a beast going in for the kill. But the damage was already done... That dude was messed up then. if a girl i thought was hot came after me then i would go for it. I don't understand that guy. I don't think most guys would do that if they were in the same position with a girl they liked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 That's a very offensive comment, even though it's a general one. There are people who you do find attractive and there are people who you do not find attractive. That doesn't mean that the latter group are automatically "plain jane types" because someone else might find them attractive and interesting. Different people are attracted to different things. You keep complaining that girls don't seem to like the way you look and basicaly criticize them for approaching better looking men. Then you come here and start putting girls into pigeon holes based on your personal scale from one to ten. Disgusting. Boy, you're self-absorbed to the extreme. I agree. I didnt mean to offend. I have buddies that have hooked up with girls that i thought were ugos. That happens. A couple of them married them. But that's just what i call girls that i don't find pretty or i consider plain or blah or whatever. That's just the best way i can think of to describe them. It's a easy way to describe them. I am not knocking them for approaching good looking men. Women care about looks just like guys do. I was just jealous because i was not getting that attention because i am not on the same level as those guys when it comes to looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 That dude was messed up then. if a girl i thought was hot came after me then i would go for it. I don't understand that guy. I don't think most guys would do that if they were in the same position with a girl they liked. Spats, have you tried any of the online dating services? Might work out for you...ya never know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Plain Jane basically means someone who is unexceptional, unimportant, completely forgettable. I'm with Kat, that is really offensive. I'm not a supermodel by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd like to think that I am not "unexceptional, unimportant and completely forgettable". It's best that you don't feel that way about yourself. That's just what i call girls that don't impress me physically. It's just a description. What's a better description. What do you call guys who you don't think are good lookinjg? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Racer Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 That's never happened to me. I have never met a girl who i thought was plain but once i got to know her i found her hot. I have female friends who i get along good with but i would never hook up with them because i don't find them physically attractive. I agree one should not compromise your values and beliefs or change who you are. Without that you are in trouble. I have never tried to change anyone or make anyone do anything they don't want to. And i expect the same in return. That's why i hate it when you see a guy get a new girlfriend and then he starts dressing different. That's not healthy. That's happened to friends of mine. The girlfriend starts picking out clothes for him and other nonsense like that. I think i am pretty open minded. But everyone has their limits.I can compromise depending on what it is. And i think everyone is like that. I do avoid rejection. I Don't agree that everyone faces it though. Women rarely get rejected by men ever. The opposite happens all the time though. It's just that the more you get rejected the more unnattractive you feel. Especially when there are other guys not getting rejected nearly as much as you are. And the past rejection sticks in you head. I have rejection experiences that happened 10 years ago that feel like yesterday. They have even popped up in my dreams. But if i wait for them to approach then i know for sure they are interested and won't reject him. The other way is like walking a tightrope or something. I don't think i would have a problem approaching if i knew for sure the girl was interested. But there is no way of knowing that. Spats: I have a secret. Chickie do: No kidding, well I'm not interested hmph. Spats: Seriously, I have a secret and nobody knows it besides me. Chickie do: What's that have to do with me. Spats: It's really kinda funny and it will make some happy and others rich. Chickie do: Hmmmm, ok. Spats: Curls index finger coaxing her closer aiming head towards chickie do's ear and whispers in her ear. Your hot and very sweet, can I call you? Chickie do: Ohhhh spatster lead the way NOW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Ever heard of "double coyote ugly?" Pretty much the same way you described it but the "ugly" is soooo bad -- that you gnaw your other arm off too... just so that situation can never happen to you again. Damn straight sister! No way dude! You obviously have no idea what you are talking about. Let me tell you brother from experience, that many of those so called "plain Janes" have a TIGER IN THE TANK.... they can really rock your world bro. But you ain't never going to find this out if keep going at this with so many self imposed rules. You gotta take one out and drive it awhile to see what I'm talking about. Plus the so called "plain Janes" are way more appreciative of the attention if you know what I'm saying. Look dude, you don't seem like the kind of guy who is ever going to find yourself a "Ten"... so why not have five "twos" instead? As for me; give me a big butt and a smile and that's all I need. I know i have heard that. Buddies have told me that. They say it's because those girls don't get the attention that hotties do so they try harder to impress. They have suggested i hook up with a girl i don't find hot just to get back into the swing of things. But i think that would be mean to do to some girl. i don't want to use anyone. I agree that i might have to drop a rule or too. But i have been with very pretty girls so i don't thing i would have to settle for "five two's". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I admit it, I do! C'mon, he makes our ordinary lives seem so EXTRAORDINARY! Plus, he's so fun to bust chops, and he takes it so well I don't think HE minds it either or he wouldn't keep coming back Ya know...Spats might find that the 10's are harder to deal with in life. I mean look at all the 10's whose husbands have cheated on them! I don't know why but I'm taking a wild stab that because of their extraordinary good looks they might feel a bit priveledged and be even more high maintanance than I am and I'm just a...well, I'd give myself a 7. I'm hard enough to live with! I dont' think Spats could handle a 10 I agree that the prettier a woman is the more difficult she can be. But a buddy of mine is dating a hottie and she is so cool. And i have dated girls who weren't difficult. Not in the beginning anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Don't worry about it, you aren't a plain jane. I think you are nice, and defiantly someone I remember. I hope nobody thought i was calling her a plain jane. I wasn't. She is actually cute. She will vomit knowing i said that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 PZ is possible...he also had a distain for women-just like our dear Spatsy. Remember? Remember the topic he started about how women can't possibly like Zep for anything other than the fact that they're good-looking? As if women are simply too stupid to appreciate music.... Edit: before you ask me, Spats-this is what disdain means. dis·dain [ diss dáyn ] noun Definition: intense scorn: extreme contempt or disgust for something or somebody transitive verb (past and past participle dis·dained, present participle dis·dain·ing, 3rd person present singular dis·dains) Definition: look down on somebody or something: to regard somebody or something as not worthy of respect [ I am not that dude and i don't have a disdain for women. You and i get along. And i get along with some other women here. If i had a disdain for women i would not get along with any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Spats? Hey man, Trixie just said she would fix you up with one really hout SAUCY momma. What do you say about that? I'm sending chim chim to you with her message, simply reply on the message and give it back to him. This sex symbol is SMOKIN. According to Trixie anyways. I have no idea what this post means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I can't claim the Spatbot theory, but I certainly also thought of PZ... ... at some point soon, Spats will post in response to one of these posts, stating '...no, I'm real...' I am real. Maybe i should see the therapist if you all don't think my personailty could be real. But I have to admit those guesses about who i am are pretty funny. Gave me my first laugh of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Then listen to some of your friends Spats. Instead of spinning your wheels eh? You need to man up and start asking girls. I could give you a few good pointers as many other men and girls can AND MORE THAN LIKELY have. Obtuse? Look it up Spats. If i start asking girls like my buddies have suggested there will be more rejection on the way. And then i will be probably more frustrated than i am now. And The pointers i have been given though a lot of the time were not realistic and those pointers put all of the responsibility for everything on me. The spotlight on me and not them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Spats, have you tried any of the online dating services? Might work out for you...ya never know! You think hotties use those? I have been told to be careful about those. Especially if they ask for money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docron Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Then listen to some of your friends Spats. Instead of spinning your wheels eh? You need to man up and start asking girls. I could give you a few good pointers as many other men and girls can AND MORE THAN LIKELY have. Obtuse? Look it up Spats. You said obtuse, but then you put up a picture of an acute angle. obtuse>90 deg>acute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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