Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[spats]

You take no responsibility at all for your situation Spats. You will just keep coming up with reason after reason after reason to shirk any sense of ownership of your own love life....you are certainly an odd fella...

It's not that i don't want any responsibility. It's that i don't want ALL the responsibilty. The women that i am meeting should have to play a part in this too shouldn't they? Both the guy and girl should take the responsibility. No? Why does everyone want them to have no responsibilty here? Everyone wants me to do everything.

[spats]

Spats, just keep convincing yourself of that and you'll never have to take any risks. You have stated that you are not that physically attractive so if you're counting on your attractiveness to bring women to you then you're basically fucked. You have to have a 'personality'...

Your statement: If you are physically attracted to someone you are interested in the person right away...let me add - and one sentence out of their mouth can totally ruin it!

I find myself attracted to men that are not typically considered 'hot' or 'really attractive'...but a cute grin, a glint in the eye, the ability to make me laugh...HOT!!

Work on your personality....or get major plastic surgery so the girls will throw themselves at your feet. Maybe you can take out a loan and have yourself sculpted into Jimmy Page...for some reason, I don't think that would actually help though

A buddy of mine says cosmetic surgery is really expensive. He got a nose job a few years ago. But his success with women went up. Another friend of mine is starting to lose his hair at the back and he finds women are becoming less interested in him because of it so he is thinking of getting plugs but it's very expensive. I don't have the money any cosmetic surgery.

I could look like anyone i would want to look like Johnny Depp. Women of all ages like his looks.

My friends say my personality is not really the problem other than i am little reserved when meeting new women and that i am not that forward or agressive.

[Medhb]

A buddy of mine says cosmetic surgery is really expensive. He got a nose job a few years ago. But his success with women went up. Another friend of mine is starting to lose his hair at the back and he finds women are becoming less interested in him because of it so he is thinking of getting plugs but it's very expensive. I don't have the money any cosmetic surgery.

I could look like anyone i would want to look like Johnny Depp. Women of all ages like his looks.

My friends say my personality is not really the problem other than i am little reserved when meeting new women and that i am not that forward or agressive.

Asking for a phone number is 'All the work?" EGADS!!! Sadly Spats, you aren't getting younger or any better looking and your approach is not working for you....you know the definition of insanity don't you?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Clearly, YOU need to change something!

[Virginia]

It's not that i don't want any responsibility. It's that i don't want ALL the responsibilty. The women that i am meeting should have to play a part in this too shouldn't they? Both the guy and girl should take the responsibility. No? Why does everyone want them to have no responsibilty here? Everyone wants me to do everything.

It seems that what you are looking to GET is a serious relationship, but what you are prepared to GIVE is definitely casual and self centered.

A mature, intelligent woman isn't going to want to deal with someone who doesn't know what they want; and a confident woman isn't going to enter into a one sided relationship.

Also, if you are past high school, I would highly recommend you immediately cease use of the word "hot".

[Gainsbarre]

Come on, women do a lot of waiting. I am just trying to portect myself. Nathan gave a perfect example of what i am talking about. He said that guys should pay for the first handful of dates when dating a girl. Now what if she decides she is not interested in hooking up with you after all of that? Then you have spent all of this money on her and still wind up all alone. And you feel used.

I don't see why a guy should have to pay for any dates. Or even have to be the one to always ask a girl out on a date...

It goes back to the old notion that women and sex are a commodity, that sex is something a woman 'owns' and a man must persue it, and if he does the right things, she will then give it to him.

I mean we've been through how many years of feminism and a lot of people are still acting like this?

[~tangerine~]

What do you mean act like a man? There are not any rules to acting like a man. Are you a woman? if you are i am surprised you would say that. Why shouldn't they approach or make the first move? It would save me getting a nervous stomach. Hell i felt like throwing up at the idea of it when i have been out with friends. I actually did throw up when i was about to do it as a teen. That was nasty.

I agree you can't tell a thing by clues. That's why women should be straight forward as well and then there would be no risk at all for the guy. There shouldn't be a risk involved in this if everyone was honest.

I think it has cost me a girl or two by not making a move but they didn't make the move either. So it's their fault too. They are no better than me.

I agree that i should give the women more of chance to get interested in me. But if they are not interested in me right away then they must not think i am physically attractive. If you are physically attracted to someone then you are interested in the person right away. If it takes awhile then they must not think you are that good looking and i don't think it is really meant to be.

I have told you in the past if i like someone i will make a move. IF YOU like someone you need to let down your guard and do the same thing. A man is not afraid to ask a girl for her phone number. Everyone gets nervous in a situation like that and everyone runs the risk of being rejected. Isn't it worth the risk for the possible outcome being in your favor?

Was it worth costing you a girl who might have been the right one? I know you are scared, and that's why i suggested talking to a therapist. You might find you have more self-confidence after a session or two with someone more professional than most Led Zeppelin fans. Most of us have a more 60's and 70's mentality, and looks are not our number one priority. You are missing out on so much by focusing on that aspect of it. Even if the physical attraction isn't strong with someone, feelings can grow strong and then looks don't matter much if at all.

[Katuschka]

Come on, women do a lot of waiting.

What?

Spats, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I am a woman. You are certainly in no position to educate me about what women do, because even though I'm a woman, it's me who had sex barely two hours ago. While you're still...waiting.

I am just trying to portect myself. Nathan gave a perfect example of what i am talking about. He said that guys should pay for the first handful of dates when dating a girl. Now what if she decides she is not interested in hooking up with you after all of that? Then you have spent all of this money on her and still wind up all alone.

Spats, dear...

1. I don't care about what Nathan said. I disagree with him.

2. When I said you have nothing to offer, your financial wan not what I had in mind. We obviously misunderstood each other; I didn't know that romantic relationship = business contract for you.

if my ex's were unhappy that does not mean it was all my fault.

It works even the other way. If you are unhappy, it's primarilly your own fault. Right?

[Electrophile]

Spats, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I am a woman. You are certainly in no position to educate me about what women do, because even though I'm a woman, it's me who had sex barely two hours ago. While you're still...waiting.

You hussy.

[Katuschka]

You hussy.

Exactly what he said...

[eternal light]

Come on, women do a lot of waiting. I am just trying to portect myself. Nathan gave a perfect example of what i am talking about. He said that guys should pay for the first handful of dates when dating a girl. Now what if she decides she is not interested in hooking up with you after all of that? Then you have spent all of this money on her and still wind up all alone. And you feel used.

if my ex's were unhappy that does not mean it was all my fault. Maybe they just wanted me to be something i am not. They knew what they were getting when they hooked up with me.

Think of it as taking a short seminar in an important subject where you have earned transferable credit. You have still had an opportunity to learn about each other and to develop a better understanding of people, while hopefully having fun and enjoying each other's company without a whole lot of strings attached. It may prove to have been a chance to increase your social or career network if she happens to have a girlfriend somewhere down the line who is more favorably dispositioned toward you. It's important to keep a positive outlook.

Women nearly always cost a lot, whether you are dating or otherwise. Just chalk it up to the cost of living and don't look at yourself as being demeaned. Give yourself some credit if you enabled her to enjoy an evening out with you. Not every date is meant to be a sexual partner. Think of it this way, you reduce your exposure to sexually transmitted diseases when you don't have sex with everyone you date. Also, you improve your communicative and evaluative skills, maybe without realizing it. Before you know it you will have earned a Ph.D in dating and you'll be able to teach seminars for a living.

[Medhb]

Think of it as taking a short seminar in an important subject where you have earned transferable credit. You have still had an opportunity to learn about each other and to develop a better understanding of people, while hopefully having fun and enjoying each other's company without a whole lot of strings attached. It may prove to have been a chance to increase your social or career network if she happens to have a girlfriend somewhere down the line who is more favorably dispositioned toward you. It's important to keep a positive outlook.

Women nearly always cost a lot, whether you are dating or otherwise. Just chalk it up to the cost of living and don't look at yourself as being demeaned. Give yourself some credit if you enabled her to enjoy an evening out with you. Not every date is meant to be a sexual partner. Think of it this way, you reduce your exposure to sexually transmitted diseases when you don't have sex with everyone you date. Also, you improve your communicative and evaluative skills, maybe without realizing it. Before you know it you will have earned a Ph.D in dating and you'll be able to teach seminars for a living.

Wow! Yer gooood!! Someone might win the Spatbot game yet!!

[Dzldoc]

What?

Spats, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I am a woman. You are certainly in no position to educate me about what women do, because even though I'm a woman, it's me who had sex barely two hours ago. While you're still...waiting.

Aww! now that's cold even for us normal guys Kat your a killa

[Katuschka]

Aww! now that's cold even for us normal guys Kat your a killa

Not a threat killa, I hope.

I just tried to point out the benefits of making the first move, as opposed to waiting (even though I'm, quite shockingly, a woman ).

[lzfan715]

What do you mean act like a man? There are not any rules to acting like a man. Are you a woman? if you are i am surprised you would say that. Why shouldn't they approach or make the first move? It would save me getting a nervous stomach. Hell i felt like throwing up at the idea of it when i have been out with friends. I actually did throw up when i was about to do it as a teen. That was nasty.

Spats, she may feel the same way as you. You don't have to be like "Hi, I really like you, and want to date you. Can I get your number?" Just say something like "Can I get your number? Maybe we could do coffee." or even just "Can I get your number?" The last have nothing risky about them, but are enough to let her know you think she's interesting.

I agree you can't tell a thing by clues. That's why women should be straight forward as well and then there would be no risk at all for the guy. There shouldn't be a risk involved in this if everyone was honest.

But spats, if you aren't willing to be straight forward too, you can't expect her to be. It isn't fair. Just like if you wanted something expensive, but wouldn't pay for it yourself, you can expect someone else to pay for it.

I think it has cost me a girl or two by not making a move but they didn't make the move either. So it's their fault too. They are no better than me.

Did you at least let your guard down a little bit so they could see, maybe you were interested?

I agree that i should give the women more of chance to get interested in me. But if they are not interested in me right away then they must not think i am physically attractive. If you are physically attracted to someone then you are interested in the person right away. If it takes awhile then they must not think you are that good looking and i don't think it is really meant to be.

You don't have to look like a Greek God to physically attractive. You can look totally normal and still have people think you are physically attractive. Find some good things about yourself, like maybe you have a really a pretty smile. Or maybe your eyes are a gorgous shade of green, with flecks of brown. Find something that you really like about yourself. And everyday, look in the mirror and tell yourself why you look great that day. After awhile you will start to believe it and will feel better about yourself.

Believe it or not spats, I'm trying to have the patience to help you. I really don't think you want to be this way but you haven't figured out how to change it without changing yourself. The truth is it isn't the person you are that has to change, you just need to see some things through other people's views.

[docron]

I think he might do better if this was recorded and played on an endless loop in Spats' own brain:

"I hearrd it froomm a friiiend who...

heard it from a frieeend whoo...,

heard it from another that Spat's had'a very sizable peeeenis"

Shit, that doesnt even rhyme.

Oh well.., no one else thought of doing something in the REO Speedwagon lead singer person's voice.

[Gainsbarre]

Spats, you don't need love...Relationships are overrated

[eternal light]

Librans are probably the most driven of the zodiac signs when it comes to seeking an ideal mate. They only feel complete when they have their other half. Whenever they go solo it's as if half of them is missing.

[~tangerine~]

Librans are probably the most driven of the zodiac signs when it comes to seeking an ideal mate. They only feel complete when they have their other half. Whenever they go solo it's as if half of them is missing.

How do they know when they find the one?

[docron]

Librans are probably the most driven of the zodiac signs when it comes to seeking an ideal mate. They only feel complete when they have their other half. Whenever they go solo it's as if half of them is missing.

Hahah,. for a second there, I thought you said "Librarians", in which case I would have held your post on the top shelf of my " with regards-edness' ". But alas...

[Gainsbarre]

There's a certain breed of women who I am convinced come from another planet, and that's Librarians and Doctors' receptionists...

[docron]

There's a certain breed of women who I am convinced come from another planet, and that's Librarians and Doctors' receptionists...

True.. but I often make exceptions, as in the case with the four lovely ladies in the picture in your signature.

Quite simply - nasty.

I feel sorry to the photographer, whos face most certainly melted off shortly after realizing it had just got done looking through the veiwer window of the camera to snap that photo. I hope to god when our civilization is finished, that this photograph never gets dug up by the next forms of life...

For the god-damn sake of our good names.

Excuse me while I barf and/or have a cigarette.

[Gainsbarre]

True.. but I often make exceptions, as in the case with the four lovely ladies in the picture in your signature.

Quite simply - nasty.

I feel sorry to the photographer, whos face most certainly melted off shortly after realizing it had just got done looking through the veiwer window of the camera to snap that photo. I hope to god when our civilization is finished, that this photograph never gets dug up by the next forms of life...

For the god-damn sake of our good names.

Excuse me while I barf and/or have a cigarette.

Well you see I had to use it, because I think the general public is completely unaware that a photo like this actually exists! I mean we need to see this photo, our children need to see it, future generations must be warned of the horror, of what can happen...

[Evster2012]

Wow. I'm actually reading this! Worse, you all are reading this. I'm off for a rub and tug.

That's a happy ending to you and me.

Spats, here's a link to Adopt A Pet:

http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/NJ05.html

Sorry guy, but you will be the guy who lives alone with his pets. Cause women have this instinct. It's called discernment. They may wade in your shallow pool, but they will never dive into it. Because they'd mostly rather dive in with an average guy with a big heart (I said HEART!) than splash about in the kiddie pool with guy holding a clipboard ticking off 1-5 on a rating sheet.

Bottom line, is your pecker gonna hook up with anything beside your fist? Do you rate the quality of your sexual encounters by the size of your callouses? What other point of reference could there be?

Anyway, good luck with your hand. Till death do you part.

PS: Women are smarter than you. Just admit you're an idiot and maybe one will take pity on you. Cause that's all you got dude! The ol' "I'm such a dope" hail Mary play. Because otherwise all you bring to the field is, well, nothing.

The first key to understanding women is...understanding women. You've missed the first key. You talk instead of listening. Dead in the water! Sorry.

[docron]

Spats, have you tried kareokeing Rick James?

Thats all I got left man.

[eternal light]

My friends say my personality is not really the problem other than i am little reserved when meeting new women and that i am not that forward or agressive.

You could solve part of your problem by hanging out with more Gemini and Aquarius ladies, as they will be more on your wavelength and be able to relate to where you are at more easily. They're more likely to empathize or maybe even sympathize, and they'll more readily accept your inclination to seek balance from an intellectual point of view.

You may actually finally end up with a woman from a different sign or not, but the air sign ladies will help you understand yourself better in how you relate to women.

This has really turned into quite the dating advice thread.

5 Signs She's Into You

By Chelsea Kaplan

1. She tilts her head

2. She takes a sip when you take a sip

3. She twirls her hair

4. She gets a glow

5. Her pupils dilate

…and five signs your date is not into you

1. She crosses her arms

2. She places her bag between you two

3. She speaks faster than an auctioneer

4. She offers you a chin-up smile

5. She strokes her neck

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/art...0742>1=32023

How do they know when they find the one?

Love Is Strange - Mickey and Sylvia

When John Met Yoko

November 9, 1966 at Indica Gallery

by Joe Neumaier (Entertainment Weekly, November 5, 1999)

Instant Karma: Something about Yoko Ono intrigued John Lennon when they met at an art gallery on November 9, 1966. The following is a summation of what took place that night (and later), along with some background information on Yoko’s infamous London show.

http://articles.absoluteelsewhere.net/Arti...n_met_yoko.html

In 1963, while working on sessions with Phil Spector, Sonny met a 16-year-old, would-be singer named Cherilyn Sarkasian Lapierre (b. May 20, 1946), at a coffee shop next to a Los Angeles radio station. She had earlier recorded the Spector-produced single "Ringo, I Love You", released under the name Bonnie Jo Mason. Although Sonny was married to Donna Rankin, with whom he had a daughter, his interest in Cher grew until he eventually ended his marriage.

http://www.classicbands.com/sonnycher.html

It might be hard for some American Idol fans to believe that somebody out there could actually be in love with the ruthless judge they see each week hurling out insults at contestants with merciless force and at lightening speed. But, stranger things have happened. She says it isn’t easy being labeled the Simon Cowell girlfriend, but Terri Seymour wouldn’t trade her position for anything in the world.

A correspondent for Extra TV, Terri Seymour has been on the arm of the Idol judge for over four years, although the two have known each other for more than 15 years. “We were friends in London,” she recalls. “And he actually went on a couple of dates with my best friend. That’s how I met him.” The date with her best friend didn’t work out, but Cowell and Seymour hit it off immediately.

http://www.evancarmichael.com/Famous-Entre...Girlfriend.html