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Lake of Shadows

Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

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I care what other people think.

And herein lies your biggest problem. Naturally we all care what others think of us, but the rest of us don't allow it to control our lives. You have to start caring about what YOU think and less about what THEY think. Opinions and input are always great but at a certain point you need to rely on your own thinking.

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What doe the lyrics have to do with what we have been talking about?

It's because his conversation is so strong that those he wants to attract are so drawn to him.

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And herein lies your biggest problem. Naturally we all care what others think of us, but the rest of us don't allow it to control our lives. You have to start caring about what YOU think and less about what THEY think. Opinions and input are always great but at a certain point you need to rely on your own thinking.

That's exactly why I don't think this thread is good for you. You may get all the advice you want, but you're not gaining anything from it. You're just reading what we think you need to change, what we wouldn't do, etc. You need to do this on your own. Or else you'll forever be stuck in the rut that you are now, continually asking for advice on a forum, where many of the people are taking the piss out of you.

Perhaps the next time you see any of your female (or male) friends ask them what you think you need to improve on and what aspects of your personality are strongest? If you have that knowledge you may feel confident about your prospects. And confidence is always a sexy thing.

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It's because his conversation is so strong that those he wants to attract are so drawn to him.

What does he look like?

Does he describe his "strong conversation"? Like what it consists of?

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And herein lies your biggest problem. Naturally we all care what others think of us, but the rest of us don't allow it to control our lives. You have to start caring about what YOU think and less about what THEY think. Opinions and input are always great but at a certain point you need to rely on your own thinking.

I agree Elizabeth. But i don't let it control my life. I do the opposite of what my friends say and think all the time. Much to their annoyance.

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That's exactly why I don't think this thread is good for you. You may get all the advice you want, but you're not gaining anything from it. You're just reading what we think you need to change, what we wouldn't do, etc. You need to do this on your own. Or else you'll forever be stuck in the rut that you are now, continually asking for advice on a forum, where many of the people are taking the piss out of you.

Perhaps the next time you see any of your female (or male) friends ask them what you think you need to improve on and what aspects of your personality are strongest? If you have that knowledge you may feel confident about your prospects. And confidence is always a sexy thing.

I don't take the advice of my female friends because they say the usual stuff. They are not very progessive women. The woman's movement had no affect on them at all.

My buddies give me advice all the time though. But what works for them isn't for sure going to work for me. They have more success with women than i do and most are better looking than me. And they have given me advice on getting out of my slump.

Is it really lack of confidence? Isn't that just being realistic?

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But if the guy is doing everything then it is going to feel like work. No matter who the women is. And the dude will end up resenting t her because she is just sitting back letting him do it.

I agree the paying should be shared at least until when and if you become a couple. Then no one is taken advantage of. Women usually expect fancy restaurants and those aren't cheap if you are paying for two people. Hell taking a woman to the movie is so expensive. 13 bucks for a movie each. That's 26 dollars right there. Then food. These days popcorn and a drink pushes close to 10 dollars. so for 2 that's another 20 dollars. So just for the movie and popcorn alone a guy is paying close to 50 dollars on the date. Then if you go out to eat after that. Oh lord. :o See?. I would feel quilty if someone spent that much on a date with me. Women should to. Just split it.

A movie is one of the worst things you can do on a first date. How do you converse or get to know each other at a movie? How bout just meeting for a cup of coffee at a cozy little coffee shop that maybe has a jazz band or something? I bet you could afford a coffee and a biscotti Spats!

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And herein lies your biggest problem. Naturally we all care what others think of us, but the rest of us don't allow it to control our lives. You have to start caring about what YOU think and less about what THEY think. Opinions and input are always great but at a certain point you need to rely on your own thinking.

It seems that Spats is defined by the looks of the woman on his arm. Spats, wake up! You aren't going to get a hot chick if you won't even ante up for a frikking MOVIE!!

I think the guy should pay for the first date if he is the one that asked for it, after that, if you're lucky enough to have a second date you will find out if she is willing to chip in, but you ARE going to have to take a risk Spats.

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But if the guy is doing everything then it is going to feel like work. No matter who the women is. And the dude will end up resenting t her because she is just sitting back letting him do it.

I agree the paying should be shared at least until when and if you become a couple. Then no one is taken advantage of. Women usually expect fancy restaurants and those aren't cheap if you are paying for two people. Hell taking a woman to the movie is so expensive. 13 bucks for a movie each. That's 26 dollars right there. Then food. These days popcorn and a drink pushes close to 10 dollars. so for 2 that's another 20 dollars. So just for the movie and popcorn alone a guy is paying close to 50 dollars on the date. Then if you go out to eat after that. Oh lord. :o See?. I would feel quilty if someone spent that much on a date with me. Women should to. Just split it.

I don't understand what "all the work" is you are talking about. So if you make the first move (as you have said you think the girl should do) and she accepts a date with you, then great. If you want a second date then you may have to be the aggressor again, or maybe she will make the move. I think planning dates with someone you are interested in getting to know should be fun. Relationships are work!

When it comes to paying i already gave my opinion. Every date doesn't have to be expensive. You can have lunches out, much cheaper than dinner. If you want to see a movie go to a matinee. Do something romantic like go on a picnic, walk in the park, hang out at a coffee shop. Here's a cheaper alternative, cook her dinner! If getting to know someone you are interested in is too much work, then just continue the way you are. Some people want to be alone, maybe you are one of them.

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A movie is one of the worst things you can do on a first date. How do you converse or get to know each other at a movie? How bout just meeting for a cup of coffee at a cozy little coffee shop that maybe has a jazz band or something? I bet you could afford a coffee and a biscotti Spats!

First let me tell you a few things to avoid on a first date. Movies: Sitting in the dark for a couple hours with someone you need to get to know is a dumb idea. Bars: Getting too drunk in a loud bar could end up embarrassing for both of you and make a bad impression. Try a day-time date, like going to the zoo, or a museum. Wine tasting is good, a picnic with a board game or going to a sporting event are all great options. Make sure you are a good listener and keep up the eye contact, looking around too much shows you are not interested. No matter how tempting, try not to screw on the first date, anticipation is the world's greatest aphrodisiac and waiting shows you have respect, self control and proves you are not a player/slut.

P.S. the worst food you can eat on a first date is a falafel (super messy and massive garlic fumes will plague you).

- Dr. Dot

http://www.nyrock.com/drdot/drdot0705.asp

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A movie is one of the worst things you can do on a first date. How do you converse or get to know each other at a movie? How bout just meeting for a cup of coffee at a cozy little coffee shop that maybe has a jazz band or something? I bet you could afford a coffee and a biscotti Spats!

I'll second that! I think we went to see "Friday the 13th" and look at us now :'(

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A movie is one of the worst things you can do on a first date. How do you converse or get to know each other at a movie?

Really? I think a movie is a perfect first date option, that way you haven't got to worry about the awkward times when the conversation dries up, and then making yourself look like an idiot by trying to keep the conversation going...And then both having seen the movie, if necessary, it can be used as a conversation-saver on the way back home

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That's only for booring people that live in booring places.

Since moving to New Orleans there has always been interesting people with interesting things to talk about "Never a Dull Moment Ever!" :cheer:

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That's only for booring people that live in booring places.

Since moving to New Orleans there has always been interesting people with interesting things to talk about "Never a Dull Moment Ever!" :cheer:

I hate to break it to you, but most people are boring

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I hate to break it to you, but most people are boring

Yet I find that interesting! :lol:

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I hate to break it to you, but most people are boring

Maybe you just need to hang with a different crowd Gaines. <_<

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Maybe you just need to hang with a different crowd Gaines. <_<

No I'm happy enough with the friends I've already got. They're pretty weird but alright. I know thousands of people, I have a lot of acquaintances but they're acquaintances because i'd just get too bored if I saw them all the time. Don't get me wrong, like if you knew me I'd give you a great 20 minutes of conversation, but outside of that 20 minutes you'd find me incredibly boring, because I am after 20 minutes, but that's okay because I'll go after that 20 minutes because you'd be thoroughly bored of me and I would be of you, so there's no point in inflicting it upon each other

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It seems that Spats is defined by the looks of the woman on his arm. Spats, wake up! You aren't going to get a hot chick if you won't even ante up for a frikking MOVIE!!

I think the guy should pay for the first date if he is the one that asked for it, after that, if you're lucky enough to have a second date you will find out if she is willing to chip in, but you ARE going to have to take a risk Spats.

Let me know when you pay over 50 bucks on at date at the movies. That's expensive.

I don't think i am defined by the looks of a girl i date at all. The looks i like in a woman are just my personal taste. If i think a girl is hot no once can convince me otherwise. But it goes without saying that if people see a guy with a beautiful woman they think he has his sh*t together.

What if she doesn't chip on the second date. Tell her to take a walk?

What risks do you think the women should take?

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Let me know when you pay over 50 bucks on at date at the movies. That's expensive.

I don't think i am defined by the looks of a girl i date at all. The looks i like in a woman are just my personal taste. If i think a girl is hot no once can convince me otherwise. But it goes without saying that if people see a guy with a beautiful woman they think he has his sh*t together.

What if she doesn't chip on the second date. Tell her to take a walk?

What risks do you think the women should take?

You still don't fucking get that it's a risk for us to begin with because you are capable of physically overpowering us. You still don't get it and you never will.

Edited by Suz

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A movie is one of the worst things you can do on a first date. How do you converse or get to know each other at a movie? How bout just meeting for a cup of coffee at a cozy little coffee shop that maybe has a jazz band or something? I bet you could afford a coffee and a biscotti Spats!

Yes but sitting at a coffee shop isn't very exciting.

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It doesn't have to be exciting. The whole point of a first date is getting to know the person so that you can determine if they are worth a second date. Sitting in a nice coffee shop, having a great conversation is a perfect first date. You get to learn a little about the person, find out some things you might have in common.....that could give you ideas for future dates. AND it's cheap. So you don't have to worry about shelling out a lot of money on a date that won't turn into any more.

Christ Almighty, get your head out of your rear.

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I don't understand what "all the work" is you are talking about. So if you make the first move (as you have said you think the girl should do) and she accepts a date with you, then great. If you want a second date then you may have to be the aggressor again, or maybe she will make the move. I think planning dates with someone you are interested in getting to know should be fun. Relationships are work!

When it comes to paying i already gave my opinion. Every date doesn't have to be expensive. You can have lunches out, much cheaper than dinner. If you want to see a movie go to a matinee. Do something romantic like go on a picnic, walk in the park, hang out at a coffee shop. Here's a cheaper alternative, cook her dinner! If getting to know someone you are interested in is too much work, then just continue the way you are. Some people want to be alone, maybe you are one of them.

But if i have to keep making the moves then it's work. Because she is doing nothing but enjoying herself while i do everything.

If things go according to what everyone suggests...

1. I ask for her number.

2. I call her and ask for the date.

3. I take her out and pay for the date.

4. I ask if we can see each other again.

See what i am talking about?

I have never found planning dates fun. That may be a female pleasure. I don't know if a lot of men enjoy that.

If two people are really good for each other and should be together then it should not be work. Why should it be hard work. It should be only hard work if you are not that right for each other.

I don't know how to cook. I just heat up kraft dinner and ravioli and frozen pizza. If she would be happy with that then fine otherwise there is not much for me to cook.

Edited by spats

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You still don't fucking get that it's a risk for us to begin with because you are capable of physically overpowering us. You still don't get it and you never will.

So because of that you should not take any other risks? 95% of the time women are not being overpowered on their dates. And women are not weak little creatures. Women can take care of themselves if they are forced to. if you stay in public places with your dates there isn't much risk of harm.

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