spats Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 It doesn't have to be exciting. The whole point of a first date is getting to know the person so that you can determine if they are worth a second date. Sitting in a nice coffee shop, having a great conversation is a perfect first date. You get to learn a little about the person, find out some things you might have in common.....that could give you ideas for future dates. AND it's cheap. So you don't have to worry about shelling out a lot of money on a date that won't turn into any more. Christ Almighty, get your head out of your rear. That's true. it is sort of cheap. I think on a first date you should be paying for yourself though. There is nothing wrong with splitting the bill when you are not a couple and you dpon't know if it's going to go anywhere. Then the dude doesn't feel like he has been taken advantage of and the girl does not feel any pressure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 This weekend i went to see The Dark Knight again and on the other night we went down to harbourfront and hung out. I got to chat with the girl again and she looked really good but she had a couple girlfriends with her so i excused myself and just hung with my buddies and watched the music groups. Blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longdistancewinner Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 This weekend i went to see The Dark Knight again and on the other night we went down to harbourfront and hung out. I got to chat with the girl again and she looked really good but she had a couple girlfriends with her so i excused myself and just hung with my buddies and watched the music groups. Blah. Why didn't you want to talk to her with her friends near? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Why didn't you want to talk to her with her friends near? Because i was outnumbered 4 to 1. And those are not good odds. if my buddies were handy it would have been more comfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~tangerine~ Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 But if i have to keep making the moves then it's work. Because she is doing nothing but enjoying herself while i do everything. If things go according to what everyone suggests... 1. I ask for her number. 2. I call her and ask for the date. 3. I take her out and pay for the date. 4. I ask if we can see each other again. See what i am talking about? I have never found planning dates fun. That may be a female pleasure. I don't know if a lot of men enjoy that. If two people are really good for each other and should be together then it should not be work. Why should it be hard work. It should be only hard work if you are not that right for each other. I don't know how to cook. I just heat up kraft dinner and ravioli and frozen pizza. If she would be happy with that then fine otherwise there is not much for me to cook. Many people making suggestions to you are in or have been in serious relationships. Real advice. You are making too much out of this. If the first date goes well, a normal girl would probably let you know she is interested in getting to know you better. Maybe the second date will be one you both plan, and maybe she will even chip in or feel it's her turn to pay. How about you get past the first date that is going somewhere and then worry about how much "work" you will have to continue to do. The job may be shared as i have found it to be in my past relationships. In fact, i like to be included in deciding what we do on a date. I also think the financial burden should be shared most of the time. As for your above examples, i don't see what you are talking about as being work. That is why i question your desire to find someone in the first place Okay a bit off the wall, but has been done many times. Ask her out (work for you), pay for the date (more work) and then run off and elope! No need to plan a second date, lol. Seriously...if the two people are right for each other it won't feel like work. For my last "date" which was also a first date, i had to drive to the airport (1hr), wait for the flight (2hrs), fly to my destination (2hrs.) and drive some more (1hr). Was entirely worth every minute! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 You can't cook? That's a damn shame at your age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Bonnie~ Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Because he really doesn't want a girl. If you truly want something, you make an effort to obtain it. The more you want something, the more you make an effort to get that something-most humans function this way. Say I am sitting in the living room, and there is a piece of pie on the kitchen counter that I want. I'm not going to sit there and wait for the pie to float it's way into my mouth. I am going to stand up, walk over, and get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Because i was outnumbered 4 to 1. And those are not good odds. if my buddies were handy it would have been more comfortable. You seem to have the answer to everything muh man, so what's the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Only spats would have a problem with being surrounded by 4 good-looking women. Most men would think "SCORE!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 But if i have to keep making the moves then it's work. Because she is doing nothing but enjoying herself while i do everything. If things go according to what everyone suggests... 1. I ask for her number. 2. I call her and ask for the date. 3. I take her out and pay for the date. 4. I ask if we can see each other again. See what i am talking about? I have never found planning dates fun. That may be a female pleasure. I don't know if a lot of men enjoy that. If two people are really good for each other and should be together then it should not be work. Why should it be hard work. It should be only hard work if you are not that right for each other. I don't know how to cook. I just heat up kraft dinner and ravioli and frozen pizza. If she would be happy with that then fine otherwise there is not much for me to cook. These are my thoughts Spatas: You think too much...and if you really wanted it this wouldn't seem like 'work' to you...You've paralyzed yourself in your own little protective cocoon with every reason in the book to protect yourself from rejection. So, living by your rules...the girl asks you out for dinner and then pays her half of the tab. That's not unheard of but since you aren't attracting those kinds of girls you may need to loosen up your rules a bit. I wouldn't suggest on a first date taking the check and saying "OK, you owe this much"...MAYBE you could say "I'll get it this time".....indicating that you are open to her paying for the next time. Here's an idea...how about going to an amusement park?! Yes, you should shell out the money for both tix.....eating would be a challenge for you I know but you could buy her a carmel covered apple or cotton candy You'd both have fun and standing in line waiting for the ride is a great chance to just chat... Maybe? Maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 This weekend i went to see The Dark Knight again and on the other night we went down to harbourfront and hung out. I got to chat with the girl again and she looked really good but she had a couple girlfriends with her so i excused myself and just hung with my buddies and watched the music groups. Blah. Yeah, why bother? Give up while you're ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Bonnie~ Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Only spats would have a problem with being surrounded by 4 good-looking women. Most men would think "SCORE!". Exactly! I think every guy I know would think of this as a chance to charm 4 women at the same time. And hey, if the one you were initially interested in doesn't want you, there are 3 more that you have a shot with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longdistancewinner Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 I haven't read this thread all the way through but do you have anxiety issues Spats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Spats, please humor us and tell us exactly how your dream relationship would go. From first meeting till lets say date 3, OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~tangerine~ Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 These are my thoughts Spatas: Here's an idea...how about going to an amusement park?! Yes, you should shell out the money for both tix.....eating would be a challenge for you I know but you could buy her a carmel covered apple or cotton candy You'd both have fun and standing in line waiting for the ride is a great chance to just chat... Maybe? Maybe? An amusement park is a great place for a date. Problem though: you suggest spats pay, and the cheapest parks run about $30 a person (many are even $60)...this could cost more than a movie...lol. This sounds more like a honeymoon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~tangerine~ Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Yeah, why bother? Give up while you're ahead. lol, sounds like spats even wore you out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 STILL discussing this shit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 lol, sounds like spats even wore you out! Yeah, may as well hold out for someone nice and irresistable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 STILL discussing this shit? How many pages was it last time? I'm guessing a hundred and fifty bajillion. Around and around it goes, and people come in and try to help and say the same things a hundred different ways and nothing sinks in. Shit, we even had a shrink in here who went crazy! Whatever happened to Matt? Then new people come in (like I did) and feel all sorry for Spats because people are calling him a fuckwit, and fifty pages later you realize he is, and you want to get drunk and kill something. It's some good entertainment when you're in a twisted mood, I'll say that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 How many pages was it last time? I'm guessing a hundred and fifty bajillion. Around and around it goes, and people come in and try to help and say the same things a hundred different ways and nothing sinks in. Shit, we even had a shrink in here who went crazy! Whatever happened to Matt? Then new people come in (like I did) and feel all sorry for Spats because people are calling him a fuckwit, and fifty pages later you realize he is, and you want to get drunk and kill something. It's some good entertainment when you're in a twisted mood, I'll say that much. Hi Suz! Missed ya. Yeah, I think you've got the right perspective on it. Hell, even I tried to "help". What a fucking joke. PEOPLE-QUIT NOW!!! Or you WILL lose your mind sooner or later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Hi Suz! Missed ya. Yeah, I think you've got the right perspective on it. Hell, even I tried to "help". What a fucking joke. PEOPLE-QUIT NOW!!! Or you WILL lose your mind sooner or later. No joke. We should also tell them NOT, I repeat NOT to bring up oral! People, you have been warned..... Although I have to admit that the Spats/Electrophile exchanges were priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 I don't know what happened to Matt. I was just thinking of that the other day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Hi Suz! Missed ya. Yeah, I think you've got the right perspective on it. Hell, even I tried to "help". What a fucking joke. PEOPLE-QUIT NOW!!! Or you WILL lose your mind sooner or later. Spats!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Spats!!!!! That's it! That's what happens. I don't know bout you guys, but I haven't been the same since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 An amusement park is a great place for a date. Problem though: you suggest spats pay, and the cheapest parks run about $30 a person (many are even $60)...this could cost more than a movie...lol. This sounds more like a honeymoon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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