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Lake of Shadows

Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

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It's so hard to fall in love.

I don't think so.

I never meet any lovable women. Things will might be going good and then they will do something that will annoy or disappoint me and i will lose interest,etc. Or something about their personailty will start to annoy me and i decide i can't be around it. can you relate to that?

No. People don't need to be flawless to be lovable. Actually, I think that "perfect" people are quite boring.

Are you perfect spats? Of course you are not. :rolleyes: If you have such ridiculous expectations, yet you are hardly a man with substance, you shouldn't be surprised that you are still alone. It's not women's fault that you don't find them lovable, somebody else will. Maybe you can't find any lovable women simply because you are not a lovable man.

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I think i am as realistic as they come. Realistic to the point of being depressing. Brutually realistic. What is unrealistic about the type of woman i want?

Since you're not getting women, what is the question again? Look, despite your paralysis over being able to approach someone you like, i do empathize with your agony. Being alone sucks. I would encourage you to find a girl in this decade, it will only get harder when you are ten years older.

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Since you're not getting women, what is the question again? Look, despite your paralysis over being able to approach someone you like, i do empathize with your agony. Being alone sucks. I would encourage you to find a girl in this decade, it will only get harder when you are ten years older.

If i decided to settle for plain girls since that's all i am getting approached by, would it take a long time to adjust to that? Because i can only go by what turns me on. How does one alter what turns them on? Have you ever lowered your standards for looks and if you have how long did the take you to change what you thought was good looking?

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I don't think so.

No. People don't need to be flawless to be lovable. Actually, I think that "perfect" people are quite boring.

Are you perfect spats? Of course you are not. :rolleyes: If you have such ridiculous expectations, yet you are hardly a man with substance, you shouldn't be surprised that you are still alone. It's not women's fault that you don't find them lovable, somebody else will. Maybe you can't find any lovable women simply because you are not a lovable man.

I don't know if i am lovable or not. I guess it depends on what the woman is looking for.

I am not talking about flawless. I don't expect any woman to be flawless. Just not to be annoying or disappointing. Is it nitpicking if i am out with a female eating and she talks with her mouth full and i get turned off and annoyed Something like that? To me there is something wrong if a person does not have simple eating manners.

Annoying and lovable do not go together for me at all.

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I am convinced; spats is a doctorate student at the University of Toronto, getting his PhD in social psychology and human sexuality. He's a B+ student, hoping this paper will bump him up to graduating magna cum laude in December. He's really engaged, and his fiancee thinks this thread is a hoot. He's using all of us as controls, which explains the profoundly retarded questions he keeps asking people. He's clearly fishing for information to complete his thesis.

If your professor could read this thread, he/she would cry.

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I don't know if i am lovable or not. I guess it depends on what the woman is looking for.

I am not talking about flawless. I don't expect any woman to be flawless. Just not to be annoying or disappointing. Is it nitpicking if i am out with a female eating and she talks with her mouth full and i get turned off and annoyed Something like that? To me there is something wrong if a person does not have simple eating manners.

Annoying and lovable do not go together for me at all.

Yes!!

Your questions make me sad, because I know there is no hope.

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This is too long and detailed for me to answer and i don't understand what you mean in some parts. I don't know what you mean about me being confined to the lowest common denominator. I don't know what you mean about why women are supposed to be cryptic, etc.

Well, I thought an epic post would go with your epic thread like beans on toast.

To really bring it down to Earth, I was telling you to ask yourself questions about your notions of social construction. As in, how sound is your logic when it comes to choosing the 'right' woman? Why are certain qualities important for a woman or considered feminine and therefore appropriate? Perhaps your tastes are ill-conceived. That covers most of the breadth but not the depth of it, so it's a bit unfortunate you didn't take the time to do some close reading.

Sigh.

Electrophile,

I doubt he's working on his doctorate. Some semblance of highly stylized wording would come glimmer through... his acting is too good. Also, some mentions of "Yesterday I went to a Decemberists concert, but nothing worked out..." or "International coffee house hour was a no-go" would get thrown in. Okay, I'm generalizing. :D

But you know what I want out of this man?

A god damn photograph.

I really need to visualize this entity otherwise known as 'spats'.

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But you know what I want out of this man?

A god damn photograph.

I really need to visualize this entity otherwise known as 'spats'.

I just keep visualising the shoe.

But, really, wouldn't it be completely awful if it was one of the guys all along taking the piss?

Most unlikeliest scenario ever, but still...

Edited by longdistancewinner

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But you know what I want out of this man?

A god damn photograph.

I really need to visualize this entity otherwise known as 'spats'.

I think this is highly unlikely.

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But, really, wouldn't it be completely awful if it was one of the guys all along taking the piss?

Translate please B)

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If i decided to settle for plain girls since that's all i am getting approached by, would it take a long time to adjust to that? Because i can only go by what turns me on. How does one alter what turns them on? Have you ever lowered your standards for looks and if you have how long did the take you to change what you thought was good looking?

Such a shallow question to have to answer. I have never had a "standard" look that a guy had to meet. I have mostly been attracted to guys with dark hair and average height (i prefer shorter guys to taller ones). I have been in relationships with a few great looking guys and many average looking guys. Often my first attraction to a guy isn't their looks but their personality. Some way they have attracted me on a mental level. I generally fall for "unusual" people, not the norm. A guy who is intelligent and has a great sense of humor (even though it's usually a weird sense of humor that i find attracts me), a sharp wit too.

So for you to apply this to your dating, you would have to find a girl that is somewhat attractive (because you won't be able to make a go with a girl you don't find at least a little nice looking) but she doesn't have to be beautiful or gorgeous. To catch your attention she has to have a great sense of humor that you notice while chatting with her. That is what works for me. I like a certain amount of sarcasm, but not meanness. I also love intelligence. To complete the package, i now (since the last guy had none of this to speak of) demand someone who is honest, loyal, trustworthy and compassionate.

It can take time to fall in love. I have fallen in love at first sight, and then one relationship took over a month for me to feel it. I would give it at least a month or two. I had a close friend when i was 20 who after one year all of a sudden, i woke up one morning in love with him. As long as you enjoy someone's company, why put pressure on the situation (until you get to be my age anyway), lol.

Honestly Spats, no matter how good looking someone is (speaking from experience) if they don't have more to offer, their looks mean zilch in no time at all. If someone gets into my heart, their looks are pretty unimportant to me.

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I think this is highly unlikely.

He's quite keen on wilting under peer pressure, so perhaps it will work.

(Yes, I know he wouldn't do it. That's why I semi-rhetorically asked for one. Because I'm a cold, cruel woman.) :P

But on the speculative side, maybe he looks like a baby orangutan.

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Translate please B)

Oh, sorry. I meant one of the boys - Zeppelin :D

Again, totally unlikely, but I can just imagine Jimmy and Jonesy sniggering behind a computer.

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But you know what I want out of this man?

A god damn photograph.

I really need to visualize this entity otherwise known as 'spats'.

Yeah! COME ONNN, Spatsy! We want a photo. This is how you do it. Sign up for an account at one of the photo-hosting websites. I use photobucket. Then, you take your pic that's on your computer, and upload it to the website. And then you copy the little IMG code:

howto.jpg

and paste it on here :

0010.jpg

TA-DAAAH!!! It's MAGIC!

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Oh, sorry. I meant one of the boys - Zeppelin :D

Again, totally unlikely, but I can just imagine Jimmy and Jonesy sniggering behind a computer.

That would be fucking hilarious!! :lol:

Odds are against it of course, but you never know...

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I am convinced; spats is a doctorate student at the University of Toronto, getting his PhD in social psychology and human sexuality. He's a B+ student, hoping this paper will bump him up to graduating magna cum laude in December. He's really engaged, and his fiancee thinks this thread is a hoot. He's using all of us as controls, which explains the profoundly retarded questions he keeps asking people. He's clearly fishing for information to complete his thesis.

If your professor could read this thread, he/she would cry.

This is actually funny. :D But not true.

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Yes!!

Your questions make me sad, because I know there is no hope.

Well i can't tolerate bad eating manners. It just drives me up the wall. Whether it's noisy eating, or talking with your mouth full, or just eating like a pig. I can't stand it. Whenever i eat i wait to chew and swallow my food before i start talking. I don't understand why people can''t do that. I was out with friends and one of them started talking when she was eating a big mac and it was disgusting. A piece of lettuce almost popped out. :o

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This is actually funny. :D But not true.

then show your yourself so we can all rip you apart and make fun of you...then you can get over it and move on...sounds like good therapy to me... we won't even charge you...

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Well, I thought an epic post would go with your epic thread like beans on toast.

To really bring it down to Earth, I was telling you to ask yourself questions about your notions of social construction. As in, how sound is your logic when it comes to choosing the 'right' woman? Why are certain qualities important for a woman or considered feminine and therefore appropriate? Perhaps your tastes are ill-conceived. That covers most of the breadth but not the depth of it, so it's a bit unfortunate you didn't take the time to do some close reading.

Sigh.

Electrophile,

I doubt he's working on his doctorate. Some semblance of highly stylized wording would come glimmer through... his acting is too good. Also, some mentions of "Yesterday I went to a Decemberists concert, but nothing worked out..." or "International coffee house hour was a no-go" would get thrown in. Okay, I'm generalizing. :D

But you know what I want out of this man?

A god damn photograph.

I really need to visualize this entity otherwise known as 'spats'.

This is what i consider the right woman for me...

- Pretty. She should have the physical attributes that i like. height, body type, etc.

- In good shape. I jog once or twice a week.

- A nice personality, friendly, and well mannered.

- loyal and trustworthy. No telling personal things about me to girlfriends

- She should be Independant and have a job. Not clingy. She should have her own friends and life. Not need to be around me 24/7

- smart

- modern. Doesn't believe in gender roles. Willing to do anything that a man does. No .."He does this, I do that, blah, blah"

- should have things in common with me. I don't want to have to be at a baseball game with her and have to be explaining every little thing.

Now are my wants in a woman wrong??

I am never going to be mistaken for Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. If i post a pic i am willing to bet my looks will get knocked.

Edited by spats

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i am willing to bet my looks will get knocked.

oh, i would count on that for sure...put em up and let's have at it.

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Such a shallow question to have to answer. I have never had a "standard" look that a guy had to meet. I have mostly been attracted to guys with dark hair and average height (i prefer shorter guys to taller ones). I have been in relationships with a few great looking guys and many average looking guys. Often my first attraction to a guy isn't their looks but their personality. Some way they have attracted me on a mental level. I generally fall for "unusual" people, not the norm. A guy who is intelligent and has a great sense of humor (even though it's usually a weird sense of humor that i find attracts me), a sharp wit too.

So for you to apply this to your dating, you would have to find a girl that is somewhat attractive (because you won't be able to make a go with a girl you don't find at least a little nice looking) but she doesn't have to be beautiful or gorgeous. To catch your attention she has to have a great sense of humor that you notice while chatting with her. That is what works for me. I like a certain amount of sarcasm, but not meanness. I also love intelligence. To complete the package, i now (since the last guy had none of this to speak of) demand someone who is honest, loyal, trustworthy and compassionate.

It can take time to fall in love. I have fallen in love at first sight, and then one relationship took over a month for me to feel it. I would give it at least a month or two. I had a close friend when i was 20 who after one year all of a sudden, i woke up one morning in love with him. As long as you enjoy someone's company, why put pressure on the situation (until you get to be my age anyway), lol.

Honestly Spats, no matter how good looking someone is (speaking from experience) if they don't have more to offer, their looks mean zilch in no time at all. If someone gets into my heart, their looks are pretty unimportant to me.

Well i can't find any women that can get "into my heart". I would like to find a woman who is funny too but i can't remember the last time that i met a woman who could make me laugh. My buddies can make me piss my pants (not really) but I haven't come a cross a woman who could make me laugh.

It's taken you that long long to fall in love? See that's what i am talking about. It's not easy to fall in love. And i can't be waiting for months and months to fall in love with a woman i know or am dating.

How can you tell the difference between love and lust quickly so you are not wasting your time?

What do i do the next time i am approached or chatted up by a plain looking girl? How do i go from completely disinterested and not turned on at all to interested and turned on? I am serious.

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I just keep visualising the shoe.

But, really, wouldn't it be completely awful if it was one of the guys all along taking the piss?

Most unlikeliest scenario ever, but still...

What do you mean visualising the shoe??? :blink:

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