Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[Roxie]

Zepp-4-Life's get-together on the 10th.

[spats]

The fact you never give before hand is just another feature of yours that disgusts me.

Of course it matters, you have to give to get. Thats not just a saying, tis true in real life

But as long as they are giving they will get in return. It does not have to be me giving first. If i am giving first to all these women then i am just doing what all women expect men to do. Most women want and expect men to give first. I don't like that 1950's attitude and i am not going to feed it. I have to add though that when i am actually in a relationship i don't mind giving first. But if are are in the dating process and not yet a couple wait to see if they are the real deal.

If you want to be Mr.Old Fashioned and do the catering then have fun doing it.

I consider myself to be a modern guy. Where a woman should do it as well.

[spats]

Zepp-4-Life's get-together on the 10th.

I don't know anything about it. In toronto?

[wanna be drummer]

But as long as they are giving they will get in return. It does not have to be me giving first. If i am giving first to all these women then i am just doing what all women expect men to do. Most women want and expect men to give first. I don't like that 1950's attitude and i am not going to feed it. I have to add though that when i am actually in a relationship i don't mind giving first. But if are are in the dating process and not yet a couple wait to see if they are the real deal.

Why does the woman have to give first hmm? Here's an idea: Do the giving first, then if you do't get anything, move on. It's fool proof.

Quit being a pussy and don't fear rejection so much.

If you want to be Mr.Old Fashioned and do the catering then have fun doing it.

Who's the one with the girlfriend?

Oh right, that's me. Perhaps what I'm doing is working no?

I consider myself to be a modern guy. Where a woman should do it as well.

Wrong.

You're old-fashioned

[longdistancewinner]

Spats, everyone has a past. Some of us have easy ones. Some of us have hard ones. I'm not gonna determine how worse off your past has been (because I don't know) compared to mine or Rock Action's, Wannabe's, DBZ's, et all, but the main thing to realise is you're not that special. Everyone has a past.

But what you're doing is using it as an excuse. You using it as a smoke screen for all your failures, when really you ought to be working on what it is that you're doing that's going wrong. Have you ever thought that a woman's turned off, because, like DBZ said, you're complaining too much?

I've had some shit thrown at me, and you know what, I have such bad anxiety that life stopped for me for a really long time. It's only just beginning for me again. But I am determined to not complain, whine, bitch, or use it as an excuse whenever I'm insecure about something or go wrong somewhere. It's a part of life to have shit thrown at us. It's an even bigger part of life to learn how to deal with it. You become a better person for it.

There are some people out there with facial disfigurements. What about the poor sods who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan with missing limbs, facial scarring, etc? Do you see them complaining? One man was so badly scarred that his girlfriend couldn't actually recognise the man she knew before he left for Iraq. But you know what? When he came back, she married him. She didn't fall in love with his face. She fell in love with him.

Do you want to know what it is to be a man? For me, a man is someone who can fall down (and perhaps except that sometimes he will) and learn to stand right back up again. No complaints. If you don't learn that now, come years from now, you'll be a bitter, old man. Alone.

[Rock Action]

Spats, everyone has a past. Some of us have easy ones. Some of us have hard ones. I'm not gonna determine how worse off your past has been (because I don't know) compared to mine or Rock Action's, Wannabe's, DBZ's, et all, but the main thing to realise is you're not that special. Everyone has a past.

But what you're doing is using it as an excuse. You using it as a smoke screen for all your failures, when really you ought to be working on what it is that you're doing that's going wrong. Have you ever thought that a woman's turned off, because, like DBZ said, you're complaining too much?

I've had some shit thrown at me, and you know what, I have such bad anxiety that life stopped for me for a really long time. It's only just beginning for me again. But I am determined to not complain, whine, bitch, or use it as an excuse whenever I'm insecure about something or go wrong somewhere. It's a part of life to have shit thrown at us. It's an even bigger part of life to learn how to deal with it. You become a better person for it.

There are some people out there with facial disfigurements. What about the poor sods who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan with missing limbs, facial scarring, etc? Do you see them complaining? One man was so badly scarred that his girlfriend couldn't actually recognise the man she knew before he left for Iraq. But you know what? When he came back, she married him. She didn't fall in love with his face. She fell in love with him.

Do you want to know what it is to be a man? For me, a man is someone who can fall down (and perhaps except that sometimes he will) and learn to stand right back up again. No complaints. If you don't learn that now, come years from now, you'll be a bitter, old man. Alone.

BRILLIANT.

[songbird]

There's no way this thread is still going!! Too much!!

[Rock Action]

There's no way this thread is still going!! Too much!!

Tell me about it.

I guess we're all a bunch of suckers for this sad sack. Perhaps it's because Spats makes us feel better about ourselves.

[spats]

Why does the woman have to give first hmm? Here's an idea: Do the giving first, then if you do't get anything, move on. It's fool proof.

Quit being a pussy and don't fear rejection so much.

Who's the one with the girlfriend?

Oh right, that's me. Perhaps what I'm doing is working no?

Wrong.

You're old-fashioned

Because women rarely do the giving first, the guy always has to do it. And it will be a waste of my time if i do and don't get anything in return. I will have been taken advantage of.

If you had been rejected as much as i had back in the day you would be hesitant about risking rejection too.

Yes you do have a girlfriend and what did you have to do to get her. Probable the things i don't like to do. if you are happy with that fine. But i don't want a old fashioned girlfriend who you have to do that for. if i have to do something that i don't like to do in order to get the girl then i wouldn't really feel it was worth all the trouble. I would be pissed off more than anything. Like i had compromised my principles or something.

I am not a old fashioned guy at all. I don't have an old fashioned bone in my body.

[Rock Action]

Because women rarely do the giving first, the guy always has to do it. And it will be a waste of my time if i do and don't get anything in return. I will have been taken advantage of.

If you had been rejected as much as i had back in the day you would be hesitant about risking rejection too.

Yes you do have a girlfriend and what did you have to do to get her. Probable the things i don't like to do. if you are happy with that fine. But i don't want a old fashioned girlfriend who you have to do that for. if i have to do something that i don't like to do in order to get the girl then i wouldn't really feel it was worth all the trouble. I would be pissed off more than anything. Like i had compromised my principles or something.

I am not a old fashioned guy at all. I don't have an old fashioned bone in my body.

If you only had a brain....

[wanna be drummer]

Because women rarely do the giving first, the guy always has to do it. And it will be a waste of my time if i do and don't get anything in return. I will have been taken advantage of.

No, you will have tried and failed

And you must not be the most hip guy I guess, because when I go out, I'm the one being hit on...

If you had been rejected as much as i had back in the day you would be hesitant about risking rejection too.

\Lower your standards

Yes you do have a girlfriend and what did you have to do to get her. Probable the things i don't like to do. if you are happy with that fine. But i don't want a old fashioned girlfriend who you have to do that for. if i have to do something that i don't like to do in order to get the girl then i wouldn't really feel it was worth all the trouble. I would be pissed off more than anything.

Fine, be miserable

Like i had compromised my principles or something.

you don't have any

I am not a old fashioned guy at all. I don't have an old fashioned bone in my body.

You're principles sound like those of a 1950s 40 year old gang-banger.

[longdistancewinner]

Because women rarely do the giving first, the guy always has to do it. And it will be a waste of my time if i do and don't get anything in return. I will have been taken advantage of.

If you had been rejected as much as i had back in the day you would be hesitant about risking rejection too.

Yes you do have a girlfriend and what did you have to do to get her. Probable the things i don't like to do. if you are happy with that fine. But i don't want a old fashioned girlfriend who you have to do that for. if i have to do something that i don't like to do in order to get the girl then i wouldn't really feel it was worth all the trouble. I would be pissed off more than anything. Like i had compromised my principles or something.

I am not a old fashioned guy at all. I don't have an old fashioned bone in my body.

But as long as she's model perfect and has a body worthy of Elvira, it's fine? You may not be old-fashioned in the sense that you'd demand your dinner on the table when you come home, but you're chauvinistic - and that is old-fashioned.

There are women in life that want to be chased. I know, crazy, right? It may not always be right, or to your liking, but that is sometimes where the thrill lays. The thrill of the chase - ever heard of it? Just like you're gonna find that a turn off, she could find your pursuit of her a turn on.

[spats]

Spats, everyone has a past. Some of us have easy ones. Some of us have hard ones. I'm not gonna determine how worse off your past has been (because I don't know) compared to mine or Rock Action's, Wannabe's, DBZ's, et all, but the main thing to realise is you're not that special. Everyone has a past.

But what you're doing is using it as an excuse. You using it as a smoke screen for all your failures, when really you ought to be working on what it is that you're doing that's going wrong. Have you ever thought that a woman's turned off, because, like DBZ said, you're complaining too much?

I've had some shit thrown at me, and you know what, I have such bad anxiety that life stopped for me for a really long time. It's only just beginning for me again. But I am determined to not complain, whine, bitch, or use it as an excuse whenever I'm insecure about something or go wrong somewhere. It's a part of life to have shit thrown at us. It's an even bigger part of life to learn how to deal with it. You become a better person for it.

There are some people out there with facial disfigurements. What about the poor sods who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan with missing limbs, facial scarring, etc? Do you see them complaining? One man was so badly scarred that his girlfriend couldn't actually recognise the man she knew before he left for Iraq. But you know what? When he came back, she married him. She didn't fall in love with his face. She fell in love with him.

Do you want to know what it is to be a man? For me, a man is someone who can fall down (and perhaps except that sometimes he will) and learn to stand right back up again. No complaints. If you don't learn that now, come years from now, you'll be a bitter, old man. Alone.

I don't think that what's going wrong with women and me is anything i can control. Is it??? I can only do so much with my looks. They either find them appealing or they don't. I can't control that. Most don't seem to find my looks that appealing. They can't be getting turned off by my "complaining" because i don't complain in front of them.

Is bringing up my past failures an a excuse? I just thought i was showing why i am the way i am and that things haven't really changed much other than i try and avoid what has always caused the failure. Because the results haven't really changed. It looks really bad when you failed at something when you were a teenager and then things aren't much different when you are an adult. it just takes you right back to those days.

That's a nice story about the guy in the war but i wouldn't doubt there are guys that come back from that and the opposite is true and the woman takes a hike.

[longdistancewinner]

I don't think that what's going wrong with women and me is anything i can control. Is it??? I can only do so much with my looks. They either find them appealing or they don't. I can't control that. Most don't seem to find my looks that appealing. They can't be getting turned off by my "complaining" because i don't complain in front of them.

Is bringing up my past failures an a excuse? I just thought i was showing why i am the way i am and that things haven't really changed much other than i try and avoid what has always caused the failure. Because the results haven't really changed. It looks really bad when you failed at something when you were a teenager and then things aren't much different when you are an adult. it just takes you right back to those days.

That's a nice story about the guy in the war but i wouldn't doubt there are guys that come back from that and the opposite is true and the woman takes a hike.

Please don't tarnish everyone with the same brush as you. Women don't judge men by face value. I'd like to think most men don't do the same, either.

If you have a shit personality, you will be unappealing. And, unless you're unwilling to change, you can control it. No two ways about it. Didn't you read what DBZ wrote about her date? He complained all the time and that is a turn off.

You're constantly using the 'I've been rejected too many times in the past' malarky, but you've got to understand, Spats - who the fuck hasn't? You're not the first to have been turned down and you're won't be the last, either. And I'll bet plenty of people on this site will have felt that pang of hurt, or unrequited love, but I imagine they've moved on. Like most people do.

The negativity and cynicism you harbour is overwhelming. Girls may not be beating down your door, but a man that returns from battle, war torn, and who's sheer determination and will power to be normal again - that would certainly win my heart. And I'd bet I'm not the only one.

[spats]

No, you will have tried and failed

And you must not be the most hip guy I guess, because when I go out, I'm the one being hit on...

\Lower your standards

Fine, be miserable

you don't have any

You're principles sound like those of a 1950s 40 year old gang-banger.

I would like to trade places with you then. Because i don't get hit on all that much. But i have seen you're pic and you are better looking than i am. And when i do get chatted up by women that are not my type. Of the women that hit on you how are women you find hot? It's hard to get it where it matches up. Like all the times lately that we have met women my buddies get the prettier ones.

I won't be miserable if i can find a woman who doesn't want to be pursued and catered and bowed down to. Who likes things on a level playing field.

The men in the 50's did all the traditional things where they do all the work when it comes to dating and the woman just sits back and enjoys. I am not like that. I like it where both people are doing it. That's more modern.

[59LesPaul]

[spats]

But as long as she's model perfect and has a body worthy of Elvira, it's fine? You may not be old-fashioned in the sense that you'd demand your dinner on the table when you come home, but you're chauvinistic - and that is old-fashioned.

There are women in life that want to be chased. I know, crazy, right? It may not always be right, or to your liking, but that is sometimes where the thrill lays. The thrill of the chase - ever heard of it? Just like you're gonna find that a turn off, she could find your pursuit of her a turn on.

She does not have to be model perfect or have a model like Elvira. Although i likea nice body on women like most guys. I must not know the exact definition of chauvinist because i don't think women are on a lower level than men or anything or that their personality means nothing.

I realize that there are women that want to be chased. And i don't like those type of women. I like women who are into equality and being on the same level. And if i did pursue them i would be miserable. So how would there be any fun involved. I know that there are some men that do like pursuing but i don't understand why they do.

[spats]

Please don't tarnish everyone with the same brush as you. Women don't judge men by face value. I'd like to think most men don't do the same, either.

If you have a shit personality, you will be unappealing. And, unless you're unwilling to change, you can control it. No two ways about it. Didn't you read what DBZ wrote about her date? He complained all the time and that is a turn off.

You're constantly using the 'I've been rejected too many times in the past' malarky, but you've got to understand, Spats - who the fuck hasn't? You're not the first to have been turned down and you're won't be the last, either. And I'll bet plenty of people on this site will have felt that pang of hurt, or unrequited love, but I imagine they've moved on. Like most people do.

The negativity and cynicism you harbour is overwhelming. Girls may not be beating down your door, but a man that returns from battle, war torn, and who's sheer determination and will power to be normal again - that would certainly win my heart. And I'd bet I'm not the only one.

Well no woman i have been out with or i have dated has said i have a shitty personality. My buddies don't think i do. They just get annoyed with some of the things i won't do.

How do you move on from rejection/unrequieted love, lust, etc.

[wanna be drummer]

I would like to trade places with you then. Because i don't get hit on all that much. But i have seen you're pic and you are better looking than i am. And when i do get chatted up by women that are not my type. Of the women that hit on you how are women you find hot? It's hard to get it where it matches up. Like all the times lately that we have met women my buddies get the prettier ones.

A lot

I won't be miserable if i can find a woman who doesn't want to be pursued and catered and bowed down to. Who likes things on a level playing field.

You're gonna find one of "your type"

The men in the 50's did all the traditional things where they do all the work when it comes to dating and the woman just sits back and enjoys. I am not like that. I like it where both people are doing it. That's more modern.

You missed my point.

I specifically said a 40 year old gang banger

I was joking about the mobsters back then that could get any chick they wanted and dump them whenever they wanted without consequence, as women weren't upon favorably in those days. That's how you sound to me. I think that's how you want to live

[PennyLane]

Let me give you some advice Spats. Since I don't know you and not sure your age, you need to find a women in her late 30's or early '40s who is self reliant, has a career, likes to have fun, no strings attached and looking for a male friend/companion. Now and then, its okay to bring her Roses and Champagne or call just to say "hi and do you want to go to a movie?".

[longdistancewinner]

She does not have to be model perfect or have a model like Elvira. Although i likea nice body on women like most guys. I must not know the exact definition of chauvinist because i don't think women are on a lower level than men or anything or that their personality means nothing.

I realize that there are women that want to be chased. And i don't like those type of women. I like women who are into equality and being on the same level. And if i did pursue them i would be miserable. So how would there be any fun involved. I know that there are some men that do like pursuing but i don't understand why they do.

Definition:

chau·vin·ism (shv-nzm)

n.

1. Militant devotion to and glorification of one's country; fanatical patriotism.

2. Prejudiced belief in the superiority of one's own gender, group, or kind: "the chauvinism . . . of making extraterrestrial life in our own image" Henry S.F. Cooper, Jr.

And, just so we're not lost on what 'prejudiced' means:

prej·u·dice (prj-ds)

n.

1.

a. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

b. A preconceived preference or idea.

2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.

3. Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.

4. Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.

tr.v. prej·u·diced, prej·u·dic·ing, prej·u·dic·es

1. To cause (someone) to judge prematurely and irrationally.

2. To affect injuriously or detrimentally by a judgment or an act.

Okay, right, well, we get that you don't like chasing girls. But how else you supposed to get 'em? If you're acting weird, gawking at the woman's chest and creeping in the shadows - lover boy, you ain't. Serial killer, maybe.

It might make you miserable to chase the woman of your dreams, but how else are you supposed to get her? By definition you'd be chasing her if you asked for her number or if you wanted a follow up date. If women see that you have a bit of passion and enthusiasm for them, they'll get turned on by it. If you're impassive and sit and wait, O' Lord Spats, nothing will happen. They'll think you don't care.

[longdistancewinner]

Well no woman i have been out with or i have dated has said i have a shitty personality. My buddies don't think i do. They just get annoyed with some of the things i won't do.

How do you move on from rejection/unrequieted love, lust, etc.

Didn't mean you, personally.

How to move on? Well, you do what I did. Get out, make friends, don't dwell. Work takes up time. Having fun with your friends relaxes you and makes you feel better. Don't go down the road, 'I'll be lonely for the rest of my life', because, unless you're 79 or something, you won't be. There's always time. It's not like you were in a relationship with the hot girl in the bar who said no to you. You can either think, 'What's wrong with me?' or you can think, 'Your loss'. And then you try again.

[Virginia]

Spats, I think you need to go to that party with Ronniedawg.

[~Bonnie~]

Spats, I think you need to go to that party with Ronniedawg.

Nah, don't have him ruin Ronniedawg's evening like that....

[Virginia]

Nah, don't have him ruin Ronniedawg's evening like that....

I was just thinking someone on the forum needs to actually meet Spats. But I don't think Spats really wants to be helped; otherwise this thread wouldn't be running in circles as long as it has.