Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[Rock Action]

I am not a assholeand i am a real person Adi. I have taken some of the advice given to me. But it's just that some of the advice given is for someone the total opposite of who i am. They want me to act like the type of guy i don't like and to appeal to the type of girl i don't like. You know what i mean? The advice should be in my comfort zone somewhat.

Your "comfort zone" is narrower than a mosquito's dick.

[Adi]

I am not a assholeand i am a real person Adi. I have taken some of the advice given to me. But it's just that some of the advice given is for someone the total opposite of who i am. They want me to act like the type of guy i don't like and to appeal to the type of girl i don't like. You know what i mean? The advice should be in my comfort zone somewhat.

Maybe you should try to go to a therapist/psychologist because you really need to get rid of your emotional problems...

[spats]

Maybe you should try to go to a therapist/psychologist because you really need to get rid of your emotional problems...

I don't think a therapist will be able to help me hook up with the type of woman i like. They don't help you in that way. All they will do is try and find out why i feel the way i do and i already know why that is. And they aren't cheap either.

Wouldn't the simple solution be for women i like to like me back? For a woman i am attracted to, to come over and chat me up. Why can''t it be that simple.

[Adi]

I don't think a therapist will be able to help me hook up with the type of woman i like. They don't help you in that why. All they will do is try and gind out why i feel the way i do and i already know why that is. And they aren't cheap either.

Wouldn't the simple solution be for women i like to like me back? For a woman i am attracted to, to come over and chat me up. Why can''t it be that simple.

I didn't say a therapist is going to get you a hot date ... but maybe he can help you to get over on whatever difficulties you have in your personal life that affects on your love life...and let me tell you something you've probably heard before: If you're going to stay all "spats" there's no way you'll ever get anywhere near a real relationship...

[Virginia]

I am not a assholeand i am a real person Adi. I have taken some of the advice given to me. But it's just that some of the advice given is for someone the total opposite of who i am. They want me to act like the type of guy i don't like and to appeal to the type of girl i don't like. You know what i mean? The advice should be in my comfort zone somewhat.

Here is the thread about the Toronto party:

http://forums.ledzeppelin.com/index.php?showtopic=8487

A lot of well intentioned people have tried giving you advice, which you clearly aren't interested in taking; but yet you keep asking the same rhetorical questions over and over.

To give you the benefit of the doubt, if you are indeed a real person, there's nothing left for us to suggest. I agree it's time for this thread to end.

[Ronniedawg]

I went to see a therapist, now that therapist is in therapy with a group of therapists - case study, and the psychological affects of being Ronniedawg's therapist.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me again.....

[spats]

Here is the thread about the Toronto party:

http://forums.ledzeppelin.com/index.php?showtopic=8487

A lot of well intentioned people have tried giving you advice, which you clearly aren't interested in taking; but yet you keep asking the same rhetorical questions over and over.

To give you the benefit of the doubt, if you are indeed a real person, there's nothing left for us to suggest. I agree it's time for this thread to end.

Just don't read it.

I have taken some of the advice given. And some i haven't because it would not work for me.

As for the party. I will think about it. I don't know if i would feel comfortable going. I might be looked at badly because of my differing opinions. I don't want to be laughed at or anything.

Although i could go and not identify myself as my online name.

[Virginia]

Just don't read it.

Yep, shame on me. But it's like a train wreck, you can't help but peek whenever you see new activity...

[spats]

I didn't say a therapist is going to get you a hot date ... but maybe he can help you to get over on whatever difficulties you have in your personal life that affects on your love life...and let me tell you something you've probably heard before: If you're going to stay all "spats" there's no way you'll ever get anywhere near a real relationship...

But if my love life were fine those difficulties would not matter i don't think.

A buddy of mine who is married says to be in a relationship with a woman who have to be able to put up with drama and other nonsense. And you have to decide if it's worth it or not. he has a couple of young kids now so he isn't going to bail or anything. But he had to think long and hard about that before he dove in.

I don't know if my tolerance level is high enough. Some of what they tell me depress's me.

[spats]

I went to see a therapist, now that therapist is in therapy with a group of therapists - case study, and the psychological affects of being Ronniedawg's therapist.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me again.....

I have a friend that used to see one and he said all they did was listen to him. They didn't have a solution. They just listened and helped him try and understand why he felt the way he did. he said he was no better when he left then when he started.

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

I have a friend that used to see one and he said all they did was listen to him. They didn't have a solution. They just listened and helped him try and understand why he felt the way he did. he said he was no better when he left then when he started.

No need to slag the therapist, you have to be willing to cooperate with one.

That is called cognitive therapy by the way, in which they can't baby you and just give you an easy solution.

They need you to get into the root of your own consciousness and try to help you better figure out how you can help yourself by understanding the faults of your present ways and you try to amend it.

Yes, I've been to a therapist before, after being sexually assaulted, and because I'm willing to understand how I need to grow my own nerves and help myself the most, I greatly benefited

But you know, that's big boy stuff, baby steps first, spats.

And longdistancwinner, thanks for paraphrasing my advice. You're right, compared to the valorous determination of others', mundane complaints and petty issues are pale in comparision. More people need to be more proactive about their lives and be willing to change instead of trying to garner unneeded sympathy points

And that is the therapist's job, their job is not to give blankly give off solutions and that's it.

[spats]

No need to slag the therapist, you have to be willing to cooperate with one.

That is called cognitive therapy by the way, in which they can't baby you and just give you an easy solution.

They need you to get into the root of your own consciousness and try to help you better figure out how you can help yourself by understanding the faults of your present ways and you try to amend it.

Yes, I've been to a therapist before, after being sexually assaulted, and because I'm willing to understand how I need to grow my own nerves and help myself the most, I greatly benefited

But you know, that's big boy stuff, baby steps first, spats.

And longdistancwinner, thanks for paraphrasing my advice.

What do you think a therapist would tell me?

[Rock Action]

What do you think a therapist would tell me?

Probably to fuck off, after about a half hour....

[Virginia]

(delete)

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

First off, a therapist needs to evaluate whether your current habits and state of living are destructive to your life or not [for example: drug use, medical issues, financial status]

They then need to do a consensus on your psychological profile where they'll get in depth in what's really bothering you enough to come to therapy.

You need to work with the therapist in order to come up with an overall goal and the means, that you need to exercise, in order to obtain this goal.

With each session, it's important that the therapist listens quite a bit because they need to hear your free-flowing subconscious thoughts and whether you're repressing destructive habits, from the past, that is toxic to your present life [this is an aspect of psychoanalysis]. And I mean you have to excruciatingly dig into every nook and cranny of your mind, travel in every recess, and really tell everything you're ashamed and embarrassed of.

Then the cognitive therapy kicks in. This is where they ask you more than they state these so called solutions. With this, you need to realize, yourself, what current habits are harming your psychological well being. They continue this until you realize how you can change your toxic habits and you put these realizations into practicee, leaving the office, in order to change.

That is only the tip of all that therapy can do, there's such a vast terrain to therapy because therapy needs to cover abused victims, drug addicts, criminals, wounded soldiers. There's so many different type of people facing difficult circumstances

Now, therapy is not for everybody!

You need to realize that you're strong enough to admit you're wrong or that you are unhappy and your life is not up to your satisfactions and you do need to learn to metamorphose yourself.

and like longdistancwinner was saying, there are so many strong, confident people who remain this way after tragedies you can't imagine happening to you, leagues worse than anything you've ever experienced. They just have a bit of a chip on their soldier, so they may need some professional help. They just don't want to psychologically suffer anymore [and something no one understands until they personally go through it. You can't see someone psychologically suffering, but it's apparent to the person living it]

[spats]

First off, a therapist needs to evaluate whether your current habits and state of living are destructive to your life or not [for example: drug use, medical issues, financial status]

They then need to do a consensus on your psychological profile where they'll get in depth in what's really bothering you enough to come to therapy.

You need to work with the therapist in order to come up with an overall goal and the means, that you need to exercise, in order to obtain this goal.

With each session, it's important that the therapist listens quite a bit because they need to hear your free-flowing subconscious thoughts and whether you're repressing destructive habits, from the past, that is toxic to your present life [this is an aspect of psychoanalysis]. And I mean you have to excruciatingly dig into every nook and cranny of your mind, travel in every recess, and really tell everything you're ashamed and embarrassed of.

Then the cognitive therapy kicks in. This is where they ask you more than they state these so called solutions. With this, you need to realize, yourself, what current habits are harming your psychological well being. They continue this until you realize how you can change your toxic habits and you put these realizations into practicee, leaving the office, in order to change.

That is only the tip of all that therapy can do, there's such a vast terrain to therapy because therapy needs to cover abused victims, drug addicts, criminals, wounded soldiers. There's so many different type of people facing difficult circumstances

Now, therapy is not for everybody!

You need to realize that you're strong enough to admit you're wrong and your life is not up to your satisfactions and you do need to learn to metamorphose yourself.

and like longdistancwinner was saying, there are so many strong, confident people who remain this way after tragedies you can't imagine happening to you, leagues worse than anything you've ever experienced. They just have a bit of a chip on their soldier, so they may need some professional help.

The only destructive habit i think i have is that i eat too much junk food. I don't drink or smoke or do any drugs. I am in pretty good shape. I don't know what my "toxic habits" would be. I would agree that i have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to rejection and how i was passed over by girls i liked (this still happens today in my adult life) back then etc, and the looks i have been "blessed" with. Those things are a sore point with me.

I still get bothered by things that happened to me when i was a kid and it still affects me to this day. Even small things. I remember one school teacher saying my middle name in front of the class and the kids laughing. It's not exactly a cool name so i can see why they laughed. So i still don't reveal it. Even girlfriends didn't know my middle name. i don't even like my last name. I don't brag about that. Does it take a long time to change ones name?

What you described sounds pretty deep. I don't think i want to go to a therapist and just start going through all my rejections,etc.

My life is not up to my satisfaction. Primarily my love life. But am i in the wrong when it comes to things i do and don't do? or are they?

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

You got to change yourself then, by yourself

And by destructive habits, I meant any psychological motifs and mantras you have for yourself that destroy you in any way. For example, if you feel like a failure so you never even try. You feel like an awkward person so you rarely socialize. Things you feel, anything, that ruins your life for you and makes you feel psychologically stressed.

I never ever abused any drug in my life nor did I ever have sex at all, yet I still had destructive habits [albeit not physical habits]

I need to spell it all out for you

No offense, but you're right, you wouldn't be ready for therapy.

[Ronniedawg]

Just get out, meet as many people as you can in various places, talk to women as they are friends, have fun and it will all come together for you (one day).

[Dzldoc]

Just get out, meet as many people as you can in various places, talk to women as they are friends, have fun and it will all come together for you (one day).

"spats"

[wanna be drummer]

Well you are lucky then because i rarely get hit on by hot women. But you are better looking than me. That stuff usually happens to guys like that.

Well i would like to get any woman i wanted like them. What guy wouldn't want to be able to do that?

Everyone guy wants that.

But it's in the means of doing this that we acheive the good ends. Your means of doing so are so off and old, I just don't think any woman can take you seriously

[spats]

You got to change yourself then, by yourself

And by destructive habits, I meant any psychological motifs and mantras you have for yourself that destroy you in any way. For example, if you feel like a failure so you never even try. You feel like an awkward person so you rarely socialize. Things you feel, anything, that ruins your life for you and makes you feel psychologically stressed.

I never ever abused any drug in my life nor did I ever have sex at all, yet I still had destructive habits [albeit not physical habits]

I need to spell it all out for you

No offense, but you're right, you wouldn't be ready for therapy.

Yes, i have thoughts that are probably destructive. Like presuming i am going to get rejected. But i don't think eliminating those thoughts will alter the outcome. because the outcome is based on their descision. I have no control over it.

Let's say a person gets rejected 10 out of 10 times which has happened to me. Isn't that a lousy track record or what? That pretty pathetic. What are the odds that you won't be rejected on the 11th try? Not good. And even if you are successful on the 11th try you still have a horrible track record. What does it say when one 1 woman out of that group likes you. That's bad.

[spats]

Just get out, meet as many people as you can in various places, talk to women as they are friends, have fun and it will all come together for you (one day).

My buddies have been helping me do that, the halloween party, the art festival, etc. Some women at the Halloween party approached but only because of i was made up as the Joker and nothing came of the women from the art festival.

[spats]

Everyone guy wants that.

But it's in the means of doing this that we acheive the good ends. Your means of doing so are so off and old, I just don't think any woman can take you seriously

No woman can take me seriously because i want them intiate things? I don't think that's an old way of doing things. If women are into the whole equality thing you would think they would have no problem doing that.

[wanna be drummer]

No woman can take me seriously because i want them intiate things?

Yes. That's incredibly stupid.

I don't think that's an old way of doing things. If women are into the whole equality thing you would think they would have no problem doing that.

Equality? If you intiate something and they respond, surely they are being equal. You are giving, then you are getting. That's equality for ya.

It's all in how you look at it.

[spats]

Yes. That's incredibly stupid.

Equality? If you intiate something and they respond, surely they are being equal. You are giving, then you are getting. That's equality for ya.

It's all in how you look at it.

Why is it stupid to expect that? they expect it from a guy.

Just sitting back and accepting a guy asking a woman for a date is not equality. he did all the work and he will continue to do it. He will be taking her out, he will paying,etc. There is no equality there. She isn't doing anything.