~Bonnie~ Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Hmm I don't think you read what I wrote properly then... Because I was talking about The dating world in North America ... I was talking about a general attitude in our society... I think it seems like you are playing some sort of 'how do I catch a pretty woman' game... But she doesn't just have to be pretty she has to meet these standards that you have set in your head (unfair because how is she supposed to know that and even if she does why should she have to cater to them?)... As for paying and stuff that is a very tiny grain of an issue when it comes to equality in dating... Just say "look I can't afford to pay for everything but I would like to spend time with you". I mean she is a HUMAN BEING you don't have to beat around the bush. maybe if you have such a particular idea of what you want you should just say "I am looking for a woman who will pay for me at dinner, make the first move... do all the things that men do..." (by the way being equal doesn't mean acting like men... but I have already gone over that - you will have to read my post properly) and anyway have you ever thought that you are setting a standard about yourself? As in you might not match her standards either ... so maybe you should just leave each other alone... If she eventually wants to have kids and settle down and you are dead set against it then neither of you are doing each other a favor for even starting anything... I mean women HAVE to have time off after the birth of children (something I have gone through especially if they breastfeed because workplaces wont have women with babies on their boobs) and in that time they have to rely on the man in their lives to support them - it is just a fact and you are already freaking out about money on the first few dates!!! I MEAN that is a feminist issue RIGHT THERE! Women still HAVE TO rely on men in probably the most fragile stages of their lives... and if the man resents the woman for 'trapping him in to fatherhood' then how does that woman get by without the heartache of unreliable government systems that have been set up wholly because some men couldn't be trusted to pay money for their child's wellbeing... not to mention the well being of the woman who is now unemployable for maybe up to 6 years... and people ACTUALLY complain about paying... it's like 'DUDE - YOU LEFT IT IN TOO LONG' anyway my suggestion is to deal with ANY issues you have about love, marriage, children, money, all of those things BEFORE you even think about getting into a 'relationship'. And then warn the person you want to screw before you do - because too many people waste their times in dead end relationships because they just don't have the same outlook... The thing about Spats is, you can write an informed, well-written post like this, and it doesn't matter. He's not going to listen to you because you're a woman. Mr. Equality indeed, right? Pfft. And when he does respond, it's like he purposely goes out of his way to misunderstand and/or twist your words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Hi Pip. I have no problem with you giving your opinion. Thanks. That's great that you actually ask guys out that you are interested in. A lot more women should be that cool. They aren't easy to find. Too many uncool women who think it's the man's duty to do it. I am surprised you got turned down. I would say that most men would not turn down a woman who asked them out unless they were married or dating someone else. I only spent one evening hanging out with this girl so i don't think she is qualified to say anything negative to me. She already said what i had my buddy do was dumb and silly. She didn't have any sympathy for what i was going through. I guess she thinks guys should be Mr.Macho and cocky and move in on women. I am sure that subject will come when i talk to her. Unless she is polite enough not to mention it. No...I think she thinks at your age.... you should be mature and ask her out face to face like a man. I don't see why she would even want to talk to you now! Maybe you should write her a note and have her check Y if she likes you and N if she doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 The thing about Spats is, you can write an informed, well-written post like this, and it doesn't matter. He's not going to listen to you because you're a woman. Mr. Equality indeed, right? Pfft. And when he does respond, it's like he purposely goes out of his way to misunderstand and/or twist your words. yeah I noticed that... it's like he didn't read half of the stuff I wrote... maybe he IS robot! hehe actually maybe he isn't a good reader... but he should practice... I have some suggestions in previous posts on what he should read... maybe he just didn't understand ... how old is he? Actually I think if he just agreed and gave it all some thought he wouldn't have this huge thread and drama all to himself (I think he actually loves the drama - otherwise he wouldn't be going around in circles as much..) and people say WOMEN love drama pfft! as if! I don't know ANY woman in my acquaintance that loves real life drama!! do you? I have noticed quite a few very intelegent women on here actually trying to ease his drama for him and he wont take to it!! I also noticed that all the funny posts on this thread he ignores and only goes for the ones directly relating to him and the ones that cause the most drama... so there is the conclusion Spats is a Drama Queen ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 IMO, there is no equality between men and women and there will never be. We are two different animals and it has been proven. Womens lib brought women far, and I think they get a fair shake in the job market, and sometimes they have the advantage. A lot, but, not all women use their looks and their bodies to get what they want. And I don't understand the thing about women being seen as objects because they have adverts with women on them. Look at all the adverts wih men on them, it's a two way street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 IMO, there is no equality between men and women and there will never be. We are two different animals and it has been proven. Womens lib brought women far, and I think they get a fair shake in the job market, and sometimes they have the advantage. A lot, but, not all women use their looks and their bodies to get what they want. And I don't understand the thing about women being seen as objects because they have adverts with women on them. Look at all the adverts wih men on them, it's a two way street. hahaha Dude... seriously... think then write... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 hahaha Dude... seriously... think then write... All I hear from you is a lot of whining about how men mistreat women and always have. What about women that use men for money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 All I hear from you is a lot of whining about how men mistreat women and always have. What about women that use men for money? hehe yeah man! sing it loud! haha I'll add it to my list of injustice that women have caused men... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 hehe yeah man! sing it loud! haha I'll add it to my list of injustice that women have caused men... hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 sheshe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 sheshe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 hehe yeah man! sing it loud! haha I'll add it to my list of injustice that women have caused men... It sounds like another He-Woman Man Haters Club! hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 hahaha Dude... seriously... think then write... Speaking of which, I have never heard LZ IV refered to as "The Black Dog Album". I have heard it called ZOSO but never "The Black Dog album". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Yeah... must have just been my dad... I don't think it matters... seriously though the only reason I talked about all this feminism stuff is because Spats ASKED for examples... and his perception of women seems to be a bit of an issue (I'm not the only one that thinks that) anyway I don't want to get into this sort of thing with you Dancin'Days because honestly I have done sociological/anthropological studies on these issues and it would be too draining to discuss it with someone who hasn't... no disrespect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Yeah... must have just been my dad... I don't think it matters... seriously though the only reason I talked about all this feminism stuff is because Spats ASKED for examples... and his perception of women seems to be a bit of an issue (I'm not the only one that thinks that) anyway I don't want to get into this sort of thing with you Dancin'Days because honestly I have done sociological/anthropological studies on these issues and it would be too draining to discuss it with someone who hasn't... no disrespect... I understand that you wanted to give spats both barrels but please don't tell me I am ignorant on the subject just beceuse I have not done the same studies as you. I am old enough to know about life, and how things work. So, I don't mean any disrespect either, when I say I have been around a lot longer than you and have experianced a lot more than you and sometimes life lessons are more personal and profound than any fucking (opinionated) book you may happen to read. I hope my reply was not too draining for your brain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 The attitude about what The attitude about combustion engines and environment, clearly. That's what you've been whining about since this board was started, and even before. Anyway, I think I'm done with you for good. Who cares about your love life, your attitude towards women and your opinion on what a perfect relationship should look like. You're alone and frustrated, and it's completely your own fault. You don't like it? Stay out of it. The world's not going to adjust to your self-centred wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 All I hear from you is a lot of whining about how men mistreat women and always have. What about women that use men for money? DD, with all respect....I won't deny that some women do this. Can't say more of them than that they are just calculating whores in most cases. However, it is an example of a SOCIAL behaviour, not a tendency women are naturally born with. It is nothing but a result of all those years (centuries) when women were regarded as second class citizens (or worse, a property), and their only commodity was their body. You think there's no place for such a behaviour in today's world? a modern man in a decent suit is regarded as a decent, successful man. A woman in a feminine version of the same kind of clothes is automatically accused of frigidity, unless she wears a sexy open-neck shirt. If a woman wants to be successful, she has two ways to choose: either an industrious spinster, or a cunning whore. ...unless she finds someone who loves her for who she REALLY is, which is still rare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I understand that you wanted to give spats both barrels but please don't tell me I am ignorant on the subject just beceuse I have not done the same studies as you. I am old enough to know about life, and how things work. So, I don't mean any disrespect either, when I say I have been around a lot longer than you and have experianced a lot more than you and sometimes life lessons are more personal and profound than any fucking (opinionated) book you may happen to read. I hope my reply was not too draining for your brain! well from what you said you don't know too much on the subject... and there is no need to swear and try to patronize me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 DD, with all respect....I won't deny that some women do this. Can't say more of them than that they are just calculating whores in most cases. However, it is an example of a SOCIAL behaviour, not a tendency women are naturally born with. It is nothing but a result of all those years (centuries) when women were regarded as second class citizens (or worse, a property), and their only commodity was their body. You think there's no place for such a behaviour in today's world? a modern man in a decent suit is regarded as a decent, successful man. A woman in a feminine version of the same kind of clothes is automatically accused of frigidity, unless she wears a sexy open-neck shirt. If a woman wants to be successful, she has two ways to choose: either an industrious spinster, or a cunning whore. ...unless she finds someone who loves her for who she REALLY is, which is still rare. Kat, I think you are categorizing all men in that statement. I think that a woman should dress like a professional in the work place and not like a whore. If I were hiring a woman for the office, I would not hire one that came in looking like a tramp. I think women should respect their bodies, not like the teenagers these days, running around showing off everything they have. I am not a prude but, If I had a daughter I would not want her running around showing her ass crack and trying to show as much cleavage as can get away with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Kat, I think you are categorizing all men in that statement. I think that a woman should dress like a professional in the work place and not like a whore. If I were hiring a woman for the office, I would not hire one that came in looking like a tramp. I think women should respect their bodies, not like the teenagers these days, running around showing off everything they have. I am not a prude but, If I had a daughter I would not want her running around showing her ass crack and trying to show as much cleavage as can get away with. No, you misunderstood me. I'm not saying "men in general prefer sluts to decent women." It was rather a critique of the overall pressure which the society still puts on women. I still vividly remember how one guy loudly shared his opinion on my "delicious ass" with the whole underground/subway station, yet you will hardly see a women shout "whoa, what a developped crotch!" I don't categorize, I cannot I myself am dating a man who's the exact opposite. But I know from my own experience that I can be either "successful" or an "attractive woman" (within the limits of my genetic dispositions). It's almost impossible to be regarded and respected as both in one. a woman can either suppress the sexual aspect (which is not always comfortable, because with it you often suppress your identity as a representative of your gender), or reconcile with the fact that it will prevail. I'm not saying that this is a general rule, just explaining why there still may be so many women who choose to exploit men. Maybe the life has learned you what a calculative woman can do, but you still have no idea what it feels like to be a woman (jeeesus, what a sickening cliche, someone slap me) and why so many women still choose to use their body as a commodity. Yes, it's bad, and I find it demeaning, but it's still an option created by the society, not women's nature, and it should be treated that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Statistically speaking, we're still not earning as much as men I agree with Pip and Katuschka, I won't be lumped into a stereotype either. I don't behave the way spats has suggested, nor do my friends and family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Statistically speaking, we're still not earning as much as men I agree with Pip and Katuschka, I won't be lumped into a stereotype either. I don't behave the way spats has suggested, nor do my friends and family. yeah I agree - I actually don't know any women who act the way these dudes are talking about... and I know A LOT of women and have lived in A LOT of places... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 One more thing.... And I don't understand the thing about women being seen as objects because they have adverts with women on them. Look at all the adverts wih men on them, it's a two way street. Ok, let's see: He's suave, he's smart, he's successful, he's surrounded with women (and he's clad from head to foot). Charlize Theron in Martini commercial She's ..... a whore in revealing clothes, dependent on men. Anything else you don't understand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 well from what you said you don't know too much on the subject... and there is no need to swear and try to patronize me. Pip, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings but I just can not stand men bashing on here, I get enough of that at home . If you feel the need to bash men please go to pet peeves or start a new thread. As for the F word, I was not using it to patronize you, I was using it as an adjective which I do quite often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Pip, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings but I just can not stand men bashing on here, I get enough of that at home . If you feel the need to bash men please go to pet peeves or start a new thread. As for the F word, I was not using it to patronize you, I was using it as an adjective which I do quite often. I love the double standards! apparently I CAN stand 'women bashing'? as for patronizing me - I was talking about your whole comment ... although I do remember when they handed me my degree someone winking and saying "hey we wont tell anyone you got through by reading one 'fucking (opinionated) book'"... actually I just re-read everything I have written and the only 'MAN bashing" I do is when I am talking about the Congo (and I openly admit to it because it is appalling no matter what you think) ... all the rest is more 'society bashing'... where as you straight out 'woman bash' from the get go... so maybe you should re-read it (if you even read it all to begin with)... I know it's a lot... sorry hope it's... not too draining for your brain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~tangerine~ Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 All I hear from you is a lot of whining about how men mistreat women and always have. What about women that use men for money? If you could do an accurate study of how many women in the world go after men for their money versus how many men in the world have children they don't support (financially or in any other way), i believe the results would be dramatically in favor of the men being the losers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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