spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 They would meet you half way. But they aren't going to ask out a guy who has his buddies inquire on his behalf, or someone so inflexible, because relationships take work and involve compromise. And most young women eventually want to get married and have a family. I suggest you place an ad with an online dating service, being completely frank about what you are looking for, and see what happens. I am willing to meet half way. Virginia. But me approaching, asking out, taking out and paying, asking out again, making the first move, is not meeting anyone half way. That's me doing everything. When does the meeting half way part start??? The only reason i had my buddy inquire on my behalf is because i was clueless as to whether she wanted to hook up at all. if she then we could have met half way. or tried to. When i said that most women want to get married and have kids i was told to stop generalizing about women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Again you misunderstand what i am saying. Daughters are more influenced by their mothers than their fathers. So when the daughters are going out dressed like that. Have a talk with their mothers. Actually it's probably more because they never got enough attention from their fathers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 It's not all about you. It's about getting to know someone. It either clicks or it doesn't, but you'll never know unless you give it a try. You haven't been used; it just didn't click. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES; a date is not a satisfaction guaranteed business transaction (because that would be prostitution!!). This is where it becomes painfully obvious that you don't respect women as people; and you don't even realize that you don't. I agree that dates are about getting to know each other and there are no guarantees. But why does the dude have to be the one shelling out all the money and she does not contribute anything? Does expecting her to pay her share i am showing i don't respect her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I am willing to meet half way. Virginia. But me approaching, asking out, taking out and paying, asking out again, making the first move, is not meeting anyone half way. That's me doing everything. When does the meeting half way part start??? The only reason i had my buddy inquire on my behalf is because i was clueless as to whether she wanted to hook up at all. if she then we could have met half way. or tried to. When i said that most women want to get married and have kids i was told to stop generalizing about women. It starts when you stop expecting it to start, and begin to let things occur organically. You need to remove logic from the process and add more heart and sensitivity. See women as individuals and not as a generic herd. Stop being so goal oriented and enjoy the journey. Seriously, a tremendous amount of well intentioned advice has been offered. Has anything made an impression at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Actually it's probably more because they never got enough attention from their fathers. I don't agree. Mothers are usually the ones that give their daughters advice on how to be a "lady"etc. They would be watching their mothers more closely i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 This is interesting because one woman says that there isn't equality and another says there is. Yes, your understanding of what has been said is indeed interesting. I am wholly prepared to acknowledge that men and women are different, and I'm even more than happy to do so. Women are physically weaker than men, they seek different things, they are attracted to different things, and in certain aspects they simply thing differently. It's genetically given that men are hunters and women are the ones how observe and choose. As highly social species, we have the power to break these rules and adjust them to what the current society demands. DD worded his post very badly. He implied that the negative results of today's social structure are actually naturally given, which is utter nonsense. Certain women use men for money simply because today' society allows them to do so, as it allows men to be promiscuous. Natural differences are one thing, social inequality (and its consequences) another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I don't agree. Mothers are usually the ones that give their daughters advice on how to be a "lady"etc. They would be watching their mothers more closely i think. Different matters entirely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 It starts when you stop expecting it to start, and begin to let things occur organically. You need to remove logic from the process and add more heart and sensitivity. See women as individuals and not as a generic herd. Stop being so goal oriented and enjoy the journey. Seriously, a tremendous amount of well intentioned advice has been offered. Has anything made an impression at all? What do you mean remove logic from it and "it starts when you stop expecting it it to start. Can you explain it simpler and give an example. Correct me if i am wrong but some of The advice i have been given is that i should do everything and allow them to just sit there and not contribute anything. Just spoil them, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I don't agree. Mothers are usually the ones that give their daughters advice on how to be a "lady"etc. They would be watching their mothers more closely i think. Apparently, you know less about the relationship between mother and daughter, than I know about electromotors. You're hopeless. What we're talking about here is more a problem of children (girls, if you want) being neglected by BOTH parents. Mothers' influence has nothing to do with this, because the very word "influence" (direct influence, to be precise) implies interest and care. And let me repeat again and for good: NO CARING WOMAN WOULD WANT HER DAUGHTER TO DRESS LIKE THAT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 What do you mean remove logic from it and "it starts when you stop expecting it it to start. Can you explain it simpler and give an example. Correct me if i am wrong but some of The advice i have been given is that i should do everything and allow them to just sit there and not contribute anything. Just spoil them, etc. Go with the flow and loosen up; stop being so black and white about the whole process. Paying for a date doesn't mean you are doing everything and spoiling them; you need to lose that mindset. Make conversation with women at the grocery store, gym, etc. and don't expect anything to happen. Maybe something will if you stop expecting. Stop asking for examples too. I can't explain how to be sensitive; you either are or you aren't, and if you aren't, you need to fake it till you make it, just like with anything else, to get the results you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Go with the flow and loosen up; stop being so black and white about the whole process. Paying for a date doesn't mean you are doing everything and spoiling them; you need to lose that mindset. Make conversation with women at the grocery store, gym, etc. and don't expect anything to happen. Maybe something will if you stop expecting. Stop asking for examples too. I can't explain how to be sensitive; you either are or you aren't, and if you aren't, you need to fake it till you make it, just like with anything else, to get the results you want. But you talked about meeting half way. How is that done? I want that. I want them to meet halfway. I am all for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Infinite loop An infinite loop (sometimes called an endless loop ) is a piece of coding that lacks a functional exit so that it repeats indefinitely. In computer programming, a loop is a sequence of instructions that is continually repeated until a certain condition is reached. Typically, a certain process is done, such as getting an item of data and changing it, and then some condition is checked, such as whether a counter has reached a prescribed number. If the presence of the specified condition cannot be ascertained, the next instruction in the sequence tells the program to return to the first instruction and repeat the sequence, which typically goes on until the program terminates automatically after a certain duration of time, or the operating system terminates the program with an error. Usually, an infinite loop results from a programming error - for example, where the conditions for exit are incorrectly written. Intentional uses for infinite loops include programs that are supposed to run continuously, such as product demo s or in programming for embedded system s. A pseudo-infinite loop is one that looks as if it will be infinite, but that will actually stop at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Go with the flow and loosen up; stop being so black and white about the whole process. Paying for a date doesn't mean you are doing everything and spoiling them; you need to lose that mindset. Make conversation with women at the grocery store, gym, etc. and don't expect anything to happen. Maybe something will if you stop expecting. Stop asking for examples too. I can't explain how to be sensitive; you either are or you aren't, and if you aren't, you need to fake it till you make it, just like with anything else, to get the results you want. Like a hour ago i see this pretty woman in Starbucks alone on her laptop. She even had her hair in a ponytail. And i thought of your advice. But i just couldn't approach. I don't know how you go about approaching a complete stranger like that in a non dating atmosphere and not look like a weirdo. What the hell do you say?? it sucks because she was really pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Like a hour ago i see this pretty woman in Starbucks alone on her laptop. She even had her hair in a ponytail. And i thought of your advice. But i just couldn't approach. I don't know how you go about approaching a complete stranger like that in a non dating atmosphere and not look like a weirdo. What the hell do you say?? it sucks because she was really pretty. I don't know if I'd approach someone who was working on their laptop; but I get into conversations all the time with people in stores (of course I'm not trying to date them; that's just what we do in the South). Try chatting with someone next to you in line next time. Like, "Those blueberry muffins are amazing!" or whatever. Smile and make good eye contact. Be friendly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I don't know if I'd approach someone who was working on their laptop; but I get into conversations all the time with people in stores (of course I'm not trying to date them; that's just what we do in the South). Try chatting with someone next to you in line next time. Like, "Those blueberry muffins are amazing!" or whatever. Smile and make good eye contact. Be friendly. You do that with men? You go up and start chatting? Would you do that if you were looking for a man? I am sure it's a lot easier when you aren't. How would i go from talking about blueberry muffins to going on a date with them? And at grocery store you are not in line that long and peopl are concentrating on their groceries to be exchanging numbers. In this day and age i don't know if a woman is going to appreciate a complete stranger coming up to them in non dating atmosphere. It's not like a club where you are going there to hook up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Infinite loop An infinite loop (sometimes called an endless loop ) is a piece of coding that lacks a functional exit so that it repeats indefinitely. In computer programming, a loop is a sequence of instructions that is continually repeated until a certain condition is reached. Typically, a certain process is done, such as getting an item of data and changing it, and then some condition is checked, such as whether a counter has reached a prescribed number. If the presence of the specified condition cannot be ascertained, the next instruction in the sequence tells the program to return to the first instruction and repeat the sequence, which typically goes on until the program terminates automatically after a certain duration of time, or the operating system terminates the program with an error. Usually, an infinite loop results from a programming error - for example, where the conditions for exit are incorrectly written. Intentional uses for infinite loops include programs that are supposed to run continuously, such as product demo s or in programming for embedded system s. A pseudo-infinite loop is one that looks as if it will be infinite, but that will actually stop at some point. I was just thinking the same thing... this is almost as bad as an argument between religions !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Go with your gut, give her a call and be honest. I thought about calling but watched the Sag awards instead. She wasn't happy with the routine with my buddy which i guess i can't blame here for. But then i left a message on her phone with my number and she did not respond because she thought that was more of the same and that it wasn't a proper way to ask a woman out. So what am i gonna do? Keep plugging away until she is happy with the way i do it? If i call again and apologize for everything aren't i just plain whipped? It's like she is calling the shots on how this is going to work. If it's this much of headache is it really worth it with this woman. My buddy said i am the only guy he knows who would watch a award show over calling and asking a woman out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 can we END the topic about who is paying - it is dumb. If you don't want to pay (and I agree wholeheartedly that you shouldn't pay for her BUT you should pay for yourself) then DON'T !! just say "I would like to spend time with you but I don't have the resources to pay for you" if she demands that you do (which she WONT) then just say "well it isn't going to work". I don't think it is going to work anyway... JUST MAKE SURE that when you ask her out you don't use the words "can I take you to dinner" or "can I take you to the movies" ... instead say "can we share dinner?" or "can we catch a movie together"... I mean A MONKEY COULD FIGURE THAT OUT! same goes for if you want to apologize about something or not - it doesn't make you 'whipped' it just means you realize you made a mistake and you are adult enough to admit to it. But if you don't want to then DON'T - there is nothing worse than a backhanded unmeaningful apology... I mean SERIOUSLY these aren't hard life decisions ... IN FACT don't bother with any of it! If it is too hard for you you need to either forget about it or harden up! Honestly .... you are behaving like an IDIOT! Quit saying all these problems are stemming from her and from society and accept that they are all YOUR issues... AND DEAL WITH THEM! (note to spats - this is actually what I would say to you if you were a friend of mine in 'real life') Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 can we END the topic about who is paying - it is dumb. If you don't want to pay (and I agree wholeheartedly that you shouldn't pay for her BUT you should pay for yourself) then DON'T !! just say "I would like to spend time with you but I don't have the resources to pay for you" if she demands that you do (which she WONT) then just say "well it isn't going to work". I don't think it is going to work anyway... JUST MAKE SURE that when you ask her out you don't use the words "can I take you to dinner" or "can I take you to the movies" ... instead say "can we share dinner?" or "can we catch a movie together"... I mean A MONKEY COULD FIGURE THAT OUT! same goes for if you want to apologize about something or not - it doesn't make you 'whipped' it just means you realize you made a mistake and you are adult enough to admit to it. But if you don't want to then DON'T - there is nothing worse than a backhanded unmeaningful apology... I mean SERIOUSLY these aren't hard life decisions ... IN FACT don't bother with any of it! If it is too hard for you you need to either forget about it or harden up! Honestly .... you are behaving like an IDIOT! Quit saying all these problems are stemming from her and from society and accept that they are all YOUR issues... AND DEAL WITH THEM! (note to spats - this is actually what I would say to you if you were a friend of mine in 'real life') That part is a good idea Pip. Although i would be lying because i have the money to pay for her. But I do always pay for myself. I would never let someone who i barely know pay for me. It just would not feel right. I don't understand how some women have no problem with doing that. I have no problem apologizing for what happened with my buddy. (although i wouldn't have even done it if she had let it be known she was interested.) But i called and left a message with my phone number and that still wasn't it good enough for her. I don't feel i should apologize for that. I do honestly think she has been part of the problem because it turns out she was interested and did not say anything so i had no clue if she was interested or not. If she had been upfront , the rest of it would not have happened. We probably would have gone out by now. My plans for our hopeful date would be that we were going go to my favoirte sushi place and we were going to meet there. I was hoping to word it somehow like you mentioned so it did not sound like i was taking her out on a date. Just having something to eat together. If she repeats that what i did was dumb or stupid should i just shrug it off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 If she repeats that what i did was dumb or stupid should i just shrug it off? I don't know dude! you just do what comes naturally! as I said these aren't hard life decisions... if someone brings up something I did that I regret and they think is stupid I would probably say "yeah that was stupid" and LAUGH... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 You do that with men? You go up and start chatting? Would you do that if you were looking for a man? I am sure it's a lot easier when you aren't. How would i go from talking about blueberry muffins to going on a date with them? And at grocery store you are not in line that long and peopl are concentrating on their groceries to be exchanging numbers. In this day and age i don't know if a woman is going to appreciate a complete stranger coming up to them in non dating atmosphere. It's not like a club where you are going there to hook up. I chat with people, people chat with me, people chat with other people. I am married and not looking for dates; I'm just an extrovert, and a Southerner. Strangers strike up conversations in the Food Lion all the time. For me it really is just about the muffins. I'm suggesting you try it to get comfortable with striking up conversations and work up to the date stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I chat with people, people chat with me, people chat with other people. I am married and not looking for dates; I'm just an extrovert, and a Southerner. Strangers strike up conversations in the Food Lion all the time. For me it really is just about the muffins. I'm suggesting you try it to get comfortable with striking up conversations and work up to the date stuff. I wish i could move down south. I have always found the women to be much more friendlier down there than women up here. Women in Toronto have a rep for being snobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I don't know dude! you just do what comes naturally! as I said these aren't hard life decisions... if someone brings up something I did that I regret and they think is stupid I would probably say "yeah that was stupid" and LAUGH... I could take that kind of comment from one of my buddies. Hell, they tell me that stuff all the time if they think i screwed up. But it would be a different story coming from a woman i am interested in hooking up with. With a buddy i would say they are probably right or laugh it off. But with a woman i find attractive ,etc. I would be tempted to tell her to get lost or hang up on her. You have a cool profile pic by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~tangerine~ Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Infinite loop An infinite loop (sometimes called an endless loop ) is a piece of coding that lacks a functional exit so that it repeats indefinitely. In computer programming, a loop is a sequence of instructions that is continually repeated until a certain condition is reached. Typically, a certain process is done, such as getting an item of data and changing it, and then some condition is checked, such as whether a counter has reached a prescribed number. If the presence of the specified condition cannot be ascertained, the next instruction in the sequence tells the program to return to the first instruction and repeat the sequence, which typically goes on until the program terminates automatically after a certain duration of time, or the operating system terminates the program with an error. Usually, an infinite loop results from a programming error - for example, where the conditions for exit are incorrectly written. Intentional uses for infinite loops include programs that are supposed to run continuously, such as product demo s or in programming for embedded system s. A pseudo-infinite loop is one that looks as if it will be infinite, but that will actually stop at some point. Again, another hilarious post from you, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Again, another hilarious post from you, lol Where was that picture taken at the bottom of your post? I am so tired of winter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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