Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[spats]

If the place is out of your way, so be it. It's a very sweet thing to do. If she doesn't offer, just say would you like me to see you off at home just to be safe? You don't have to go in. It's a gentlemenly thing to do.

Should i offer even if i don't want to see her to her home? because if i do and she says yes then I have obligated myself to.

If she doesn't invite me then i don't think she is really interested in me. That's why i think it's best just to wait and see if i am invited.

[Virginia]

Should i offer even if i don't want to see her to her home? because if i do and she says yes then I have obligated myself to.

If she doesn't invite me then i don't think she is really interested in me. That's why i think it's best just to wait and see if i am invited.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, spats!!! Do you have a sister? Wouldn't you want someone doing that for her?

[spats]

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, spats!!! Do you have a sister? Wouldn't you want someone doing that for her?

No, i don't have a sister.

But if i did i would only want some guy taking her home if she invited him over. Besides, most women are not walking home. They are either driving or cabbing it home. That's what mine usually did.

[~Bonnie~]

Why? what if her place is out of your way?

I only do it if she invites me back to her place. Otherwise we go our own way. I am not a pushy person.

Because-escorting your date home is a great way to impress her with how considerate you are, and possibly earn yourself a kiss. DUH.

[spats]

Because-escorting your date home is a great way to impress her with how considerate you are, and possibly earn yourself a kiss. DUH.

From experience I wish it was that easy to get a kiss. It has taken more than that for me to get one.

You make it sound so easy Bonnie. I wish things would go exactly as how you describe them.

[JethroTull]

From experience I wish it was that easy to get a kiss. It has taken more than that for me to get one.

Toronto has gay bars, right?

[spats]

Toronto has gay bars, right?

[docron]

Well, I haven't been on here in quite a while... but the familiarity of this pointless thread makes me feel like I've never been gone. Regardless, I'm pretty sure the title of this thread was ripped from something I said a long long time ago, and, in a way, I guess you could say that I feel half-way responsible for this.

... oh, to be famous.

You bangin'em-out yet there Spats?

I suppose I'm not either.

[wanna be drummer]

I am not talking about people who have had too much to drink. That's a no brainer. I just mean in general.

You still do it. No, technically you are not responsible and you don't have to but it's called being nice. Durr

[spats]

You still do it. No, technically you are not responsible and you don't have to but it's called being nice. Durr

Sure it's nice i guess. But i don't think it should be on the list for dating rules for men. Are women going out of their way to make sure guys get home safe? And i don't mean "call me when you get home". Of course women don't do that.

[wanna be drummer]

Because men can take care of themselves and we arne't the ones generally getting raped going home. Durr

[spats]

Because men can take care of themselves and we arne't the ones generally getting raped going home. Durr

Dude, you are underestimating women. Women can take care of themselves these days. They take self defence classes, they carry mace. And most times they go home by car or cab. They don't really need to be taken care of anymore.

[eternal light]

Dude, you are underestimating women. Women can take care of themselves these days. They take self defence classes, they carry mace. And most times they go home by car or cab. They don't really need to be taken care of anymore.

It's a long story about that, Spats. So much depends on if someone really knows how to take care of them right. We all like to think that we are immune from the pitfalls of life, but you never know when you will need someone.

[wanna be drummer]

Dude, you are underestimating women. Women can take care of themselves these days. They take self defence classes, they carry mace. And most times they go home by car or cab. They don't really need to be taken care of anymore.

I really doubt a 5'6 110 lb. lady could fight off a 6' 200 lb. guy, regardless of having a "self defense" class or not

And in any case, it just shows that we are the stronger of the two. It's symbolism genius. Perhaps this is why women do not respect you no?

[eternal light]

I really doubt a 5'6 110 lb. lady could fight off a 6' 200 lb. guy, regardless of having a "self defense" class or not

I knew one who could, but she was married to a United States Marine lol, plus she was an Elvis fan. She was one feisty lady.

[longdistancewinner]

Dude, you are underestimating women. Women can take care of themselves these days. They take self defence classes, they carry mace. And most times they go home by car or cab. They don't really need to be taken care of anymore.

I'll be sure to quote this and give it to the parents of a girl who was raped and murdered in my village. I guess they underestimated her killer.

Sometimes defence classes (I can honestly say I've never seen one advertised in my entire life) and mace (the same) aren't always available. You are not responsible for any woman you date, but surely that little 'responsibility' label is a small price to pay to ensure your date is home safe, no? Would you really want it on your conscience to know that you were the last person to see her alive/before her attack, and not offered to take her home/accompany her?

Women don't need to be taken care of no more then men do. But we do. Women have that nurturing instinct, just like men have that instinct to protect. But you don't want to take care of women. My boyfriend doesn't need me to take care of him - he's a big boy, now - but I still do. I cook his food, do his clothes - not because he demands and needs me to, but because I want to. In the same way he wants to protect me from harm. I look after him in the ways I can because I love and care for him. As he does me.

What's frightening is that you don't even have that desire to protect someone you could care for.

[docron]

fdshgrelkjre;lk god fu[k'n damnit this thread is frustrating.

[spats]

I'll be sure to quote this and give it to the parents of a girl who was raped and murdered in my village. I guess they underestimated her killer.

Sometimes defence classes (I can honestly say I've never seen one advertised in my entire life) and mace (the same) aren't always available. You are not responsible for any woman you date, but surely that little 'responsibility' label is a small price to pay to ensure your date is home safe, no? Would you really want it on your conscience to know that you were the last person to see her alive/before her attack, and not offered to take her home/accompany her?

Women don't need to be taken care of no more then men do. But we do. Women have that nurturing instinct, just like men have that instinct to protect. But you don't want to take care of women. My boyfriend doesn't need me to take care of him - he's a big boy, now - but I still do. I cook his food, do his clothes - not because he demands and needs me to, but because I want to. In the same way he wants to protect me from harm. I look after him in the ways I can because I love and care for him. As he does me.

What's frightening is that you don't even have that desire to protect someone you could care for.

I will accompany my date home if she invites me to. But if she doesn't make the offer i would just presume she is fine and not interested in me that much. And again most of my dates have gone home in car and cabs. I don't think many ever walked home.

I don't think i have that natural instinct to protect that you are talking about. I have never had the desire to take care of anyone.And i think it looks silly when men get all macho like that. But i have never had to protect anyone before so who knows what would happen if the time ever came.

[spats]

I really doubt a 5'6 110 lb. lady could fight off a 6' 200 lb. guy, regardless of having a "self defense" class or not

And in any case, it just shows that we are the stronger of the two. It's symbolism genius. Perhaps this is why women do not respect you no?

I don't know if women don't respect me. Lately it hasn't got that far.

You didn't answer the question about the dancing.

[spats]

I knew one who could, but she was married to a United States Marine lol, plus she was an Elvis fan. She was one feisty lady.

[wanna be drummer]

I don't know if women don't respect me. Lately it hasn't got that far.

You didn't answer the question about the dancing.

My apologies, I didn't see it.

To answer the question, no I do not. I have a girlfriend back home. Dancing is harmless. I mean, what am I supposed to do exactly? Go to a party, and not dance? Just stand there and drink? That's stupid. I'll dance, but once they try and make out or start grabbin and whatnot, then I have to call it quits. I'm a flirter by nature, but I will not go that extra mile since I'm not single.

[longdistancewinner]

I will accompany my date home if she invites me to. But if she doesn't make the offer i would just presume she is fine and not interested in me that much. And again most of my dates have gone home in car and cabs. I don't think many ever walked home.

I don't think i have that natural instinct to protect that you are talking about. I have never had the desire to take care of anyone.And i think it looks silly when men get all macho like that. But i have never had to protect anyone before so who knows what would happen if the time ever came.

To want to protect someone you love or care for doesn't make you 'macho' - it makes you decent. Is it macho of a man to want to protect his children or wife/girlfriend? No. Men don't act like Tarzan, all buff, with their chest out. When I'm sad, my boyfriend wants to hold me and protect me. He doesn't get all 'macho' on me (and he never has). Sometimes your view on men is as skewed as your view on women.

For whatever reason, somewhere down the line you've got into your mind that for anything to happen for you, she must instigate. My mum always tells me, 'If you want something done properly - do it yourself'. So, get off your arse, and tell whichever girl, that has caught your roving eye, that you like them and would like to get together for (insert desired activity here)...

What exactly is the point of this thread? You've got all the advice you need (some pay people to hear this) and you still don't take any of it on board. So, what the fuck is it that you want?

[spats]

To want to protect someone you love or care for doesn't make you 'macho' - it makes you decent. Is it macho of a man to want to protect his children or wife/girlfriend? No. Men don't act like Tarzan, all buff, with their chest out. When I'm sad, my boyfriend wants to hold me and protect me. He doesn't get all 'macho' on me (and he never has). Sometimes your view on men is as skewed as your view on women.

For whatever reason, somewhere down the line you've got into your mind that for anything to happen for you, she must instigate. My mum always tells me, 'If you want something done properly - do it yourself'. So, get off your arse, and tell whichever girl, that has caught your roving eye, that you like them and would like to get together for (insert desired activity here)...

What exactly is the point of this thread? You've got all the advice you need (some pay people to hear this) and you still don't take any of it on board. So, what the fuck is it that you want?

I mean the type of guys that get into fights over women. I have been at clubs where a guy has got all macho because a guy looked at his girlfriend the wrong way. It's dumb.

You are right. Somewhere along the line i did get into a passive position where if anything is to happen they have to start it up. It happened gradually i guess. I think it's because over time when i was bold and was the aggresser i got rejected over and over again. Which chips away at you. When that happens you think there is something wrong with you and you slowly stop doing it. Then when you realize the only success you are having is when they are the agressor you go with what is comfortable and what works. I don't like how it feels to be the aggresser because it seems laughable because of my track record. Would a baseball coach put a guy who is striking out all the time up to bad when the game is on the line??? No. I feel like i am trying to fool people and myself. I think to myself.. "if i was a woman would i want me approaching me"? I would want someone better looking approaching me. If i was a woman i wouldn't be thrilled about seeing me heading over. At least when a woman initiates i know that she likes how i look i think. there is no what if or uncertainty. Does that all make sense.

I have taken some advice here that was realistic. Most of it has been telling me to be a take charge guy and do everything. I was hoping the female advice would include the woman being more pro active. it seems women agree that the guy should be in charge of everything.

Did your mom tell you to be that aggressive with any guy you were interested in? Or is that just advice for guys?? You think i should do that even if you can't tell if the woman likes you?

[spats]

My apologies, I didn't see it.

To answer the question, no I do not. I have a girlfriend back home. Dancing is harmless. I mean, what am I supposed to do exactly? Go to a party, and not dance? Just stand there and drink? That's stupid. I'll dance, but once they try and make out or start grabbin and whatnot, then I have to call it quits. I'm a flirter by nature, but I will not go that extra mile since I'm not single.

Okay. I didn''t know if you were still with that girl or not. That's just how my luck is i guess. You are taken and you are getting women asking you to dance and stuff. I am single and am not getting that. Life isn't fair.

Isn't a long distance relationhsip hard? I would never bother with one.

[longdistancewinner]

I mean the type of guys that get into fights over women. I have been at clubs where a guy has got all macho because a guy looked at his girlfriend the wrong way. It's dumb.

Well, that can happen. Guys do get like that, but sometimes other things fuel fights - drink. It is dumb, but for some people it can be immensely flattering having someone fight over them.

You are right. Somewhere along the line i did get into a passive position where if anything is to happen they have to start it up. It happened gradually i guess. I think it's because over time when i was bold and was the aggresser i got rejected over and over again. Which chips away at you. When that happens you think there is something wrong with you and you slowly stop doing it. Then when you realize the only success you are having is when they are the agressor you go with what is comfortable and what works. I don't like how it feels to be the aggresser because it seems laughable because of my track record. Would a baseball coach put a guy who is striking out all the time up to bad when the game is on the line??? No. I feel like i am trying to fool people and myself. I think to myself.. "if i was a woman would i want me approaching me"? I would want someone better looking approaching me. If i was a woman i wouldn't be thrilled about seeing me heading over. At least when a woman initiates i know that she likes how i look i think. there is no what if or uncertainty. Does that all make sense.

This is your low self-esteem and insecurity talking. You know, I say the most disgusting things about myself, and it hurts my boyfriend to hear me say as much because he doesn't agree. What you think and feel about yourself isn't reflective of how someone else will think and feel about you. Don't put yourself in a woman's shoes because you'll start slowly chipping away at everything you like. Put yourself in your shoes and tell yourself what is it that you can do to improve your confidence around women. Because that's what's wrong. Your confidence - and you have none.

I have taken some advice here that was realistic. Most of it has been telling me to be a take charge guy and do everything. I was hoping the female advice would include the woman being more pro active. it seems women agree that the guy should be in charge of everything.

Then listen up. We're not telling you this for our own health. If people say you should take more charge in your life, do so.

Did your mom tell you to be that aggressive with any guy you were interested in? Or is that just advice for guys?? You think i should do that even if you can't tell if the woman likes you?

That saying is what my mum tells me when I do something half-arsed and clearly not to her standard. It's not meant to be aggressive. And my mum never told me how to be around guys I was interested in. She told me to be nice to everyone. If someone likes your romantically because of it, that's a bonus. I'm not polite and friendly with people so they can fancy me or whatever. I'm polite and friendly because I would like to be treated the same way.

If one of my female friends moans about the guy she likes I'd say the same. Ask him out and shut the fuck up or pine over him...and shut the fuck up. Of course, I'm not completely coldhearted. If I had a friend who clearly couldn't say how she felt, I may speak to him myself. I'd be sympathetic to her. Either way, I'd tell them to do something about it if they're not content and always whining about the person. If they know they'd have something to lose if they said how they felt (ie. his friendship), then I would always be there for her. But I don't tolerate people constantly moaning about their love life (or lack of) if they're not doing anything about it.