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San Francisco Chronical

Great rock 'n' roll myths debunked

Aidin Vaziri

Friday, August 8, 2008

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?.../PKG6121DA9.DTL

Our recent review of Robert Plant's concert with Alison Krauss sparked outrage for all the wrong reasons. People weren't infuriated that the once-mighty Led Zeppelin front man had gone all Garrison Keillor (taking several of his old band's classic tunes with him) but by the fact that we knowingly played up to classic rock mythology and insinuated that he once used a shark as a sex toy.

Why wouldn't we?

Anyone who has had the pleasure of picking at the remnants of a backstage deli tray from a moth-eaten couch under the green glow of fluorescent lights can tell you that backstage rock 'n' roll fantasy is immensely more interesting than reality. But for the sticklers, we decided to dig through our archives (along with a well-thumbed copy of Gavin Edwards' "Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton's Little John? Rock's Most Enduring Mysteries, Myths and Rumors Revealed") to look at the truth behind five really great persevering rock legends.

ROBERT PLANT USED A SHARK AS A SEX TOY

While the Led Zeppelin front man has cut himself out a nice reputation as a sex god, this particular story stems from a 1969 incident documented in the book "Hammer of the Gods" involving the group's road manager, Richard Cole; some eager-to-please groupies; assorted members of Vanilla Fudge; Seattle's Edgewater Inn; and either a red snapper or a mud shark. True to form, those who were actually there don't remember the fine details. But by all accounts, Plant steered clear of the event. In fact, when we talked to him in 2002, he downplayed his number of purported bedroom conquests significantly. "I'm probably a couple of thousand behind Gene Simmons, or maybe a couple of thousand in front," Plant said. "I can't even remember the last time I had sex. Randy Newman is probably the guy who put it about more than anybody. He's got that look about him - that crazed look."

KEITH RICHARDS HAD A BLOOD TRANSFUSION

The story goes that, just before an extensive European tour in 1973, the Rolling Stones guitarist checked into a Swiss clinic to kick heroin addiction by having his own heavily polluted blood replaced with something of a purer grade.

The truth is a little more mundane. Yes, Richards did check into the medical center, but only for a process called hemodialysis, which filters toxins out of the bloodstream. That didn't stop him from playing up the myth.

"Someone asked me how I cleaned up, so I told them I went to Switzerland and had my blood completely changed," he said. "I was just fooling around.

I opened my jacket and said, 'How do you like my blood change?' That's all it was: a joke. I was sick of answering that question, so I gave them a story."

Try not to be too disappointed. By most accounts, Richards did actually snort his late father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

DAVID LEE ROTH IS GAY

Despite filling his solo videos with buxom babes in bikinis, questions have dogged sometime Van Halen front man Roth about his sexual orientation. Maybe a little bit of spandex goes a long way. Either way, when we brought the issue up with him a few years ago, he was quite eager to clear things up. Maybe a little too eager? "I'm not gay," Roth said. "I never have been. Don't you think for a second that if I was gay I wouldn't make damn sure everybody choked on that one? Man, I'd ruin everybody's day with that one."

NEIL YOUNG BOUGHT 150,000 COPIES OF THE ALBUM "COMES A TIME" JUST TO DESTROY THEM

Wrong! According to his father, Scott Young, Neil Young shelled out for 200,000 copies of the album after realizing he had approved a test pressing from a bad master tape. Owning up to his error, the musician paid the expense for his label to withdraw 200,000 copies that had been printed and shipped around the world. He then boxed them up at his ranch and shot them through with a rifle. "I don't like throwing money around," Young said. "But I wasn't going to have this album circulating around the world in bad quality." Those bullet-riddled records would probably rake in a fortune on eBay now.

PINK FLOYD'S DAVID GILMOUR USED TO BE A TEEN MODEL

Yes, we know about all the odd stories surrounding Syd Barrett and "The Wizard of Oz"/"Dark Side of the Moon" synchronization thing (doesn't really work), but the real mystery surrounding Pink Floyd is whether or not Gilmour spent time as a posh teen model before joining the scruffy psychedelic rock group. So we asked him about it. "Yes," he admitted. "But I was always a musician. When I was a teenager, if someone came along and said, 'You get three weeks' wages for one day's work just standing around in front of the camera,' anyone would take it. It probably amounted to about three jobs in my whole life. That myth got blown slightly out of proportion."

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