Rock Action Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Over centuries, heaven and hell has merely been devices used by the religious to control their fellow man. I do not subscribe to this nonsense myself. But I do believe heaven and hell DO indeed exist, but on a more basic, human level. Examples of hell: 1.Politics and the discussion thereof 2.Running outta beer in the middle of a camping trip, before it even gets dark 3.Breaking a guitar string at a gig, with no spares in sight 4.Waking up the next morning, discovering that you had beer goggles the night before. 5.Realizing that Ron Wood is now your lead guitarist, replacing Mick Taylor. Examples of heaven: 1.Winning the lottery 2.Free beer- delivered straight to your campsite, ice cold 3.The "Spats" thread has been deleted 4.Robert Plant says "I was just joking- of course I'll join in on the new album and tour!" 5.The above #5 was just a bad, horrible nightmare. Discuss amongst yourselves.... (edited for spelling...who the fuck is Ron Rood? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterMcLov1n Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Heaven: banging a hot chick at a party Hell: waking up with a hangover and discovering that was your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Heaven: banging a hot chick at a party Hell: waking up with a hangover and discovering that was your mom. Oh FUCK that's bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterMcLov1n Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Heaven: Listening to "Another Brick in the Wall" while high Hell: Finding out that was the KoRn cover version Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
59LesPaul Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Over centuries, heaven and hell has merely been devices used by the religious to control their fellow man. I do not subscribe to this nonsense myself. But I do believe heaven and hell DO indeed exist, but on a more basic, human level. Discuss amongst yourselves.... Examples of hell: -Three words:Motor Vehicle Administration -Liquor stores that close early -Dial-up -Dental work without Novacaine -Mick Jagger solo albums Examples of heaven: -Singing "Happy" on stage for Keith Richards during a Rolling Stones concert at MSG. -Beer out of the kitchen tap.(Hot,Cold,Heineken) -Morning Wood-and someone to share it with-EVERY DAY -Secondhand smoke cures cancer -"Swallowing" causes weight loss -Drinking beer causes your urine to turn into unleaded gasoline. More later...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 (hell)-Mick Jagger solo albums Ain't THAT the truth!!! Heaven- Keith Richards solo albums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 ROTFL I agree with morning wood. Also silence (no, really), water, trees.......bongos, sick humor, up front people who are direct. Animals, babies, ambient music, heavy music, people who don't give a shit, people who give too many shits, cartoon sound effects, oh so many heavenly things! Then there's hell: A man ashamed of his own wood, gossipy ladies, offices, cubicles, no music, no humor, cautious wishy-washy people, stupid politicians, celebutantes, and religious extremists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigstickbonzo Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 The Sports Edition Heaven - Harry Kalas narrates everything. - Watching Muhammed Ali fight Joe Louis from the front row. - Watching the Greatest Ballplayers of All Time gather for one last game..not in Iowa. - The Eagles beating the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX. T.O. declares his love for humanity and the Eagles, gives up love for himself, leading to future titles in Philly. - John Kruk receives a golden testical, completing his resurgence to God-like status among "ballplayers." Hell - Having William Penn mortally skull fuck your city for 25 winless years. - You're down by 5 in the 4th Quarter with 0:03 seconds left to play when suddenly the power goes out at the pub as your team throws downfield to an open receiver. - Having to listen to Joe Buck commentate all the big games because Fox sucks Sports' money cock. - Trying to make sense out of a John Madden comment. - The Mets Win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
59LesPaul Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 The Sports Edition .....Baltimore style,and can be summed up with two names: Peter Angelos Robert Irsay....and his family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Hell= IN Heaven= OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pb Derigable Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven= Me fucking my girlfriend. Hell= My girlfriend fucking me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 "Hell is other people." - Jean Paul Sartre “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” - Mark Twain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babs Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven- Grey Goose Martini's Hell- The next morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maven2blue Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 a Black Sabbath album Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 The Sports Edition Being a Lions fan. I'm serious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 "Hell is other people." - Jean Paul Sartre “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” - Mark Twain Both gentlemen pretty much nailed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Being a Lions fan. I'm serious... Hell = being a 49ers fan. Trust me... Heaven = also being a Giants fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Hartman Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven = Hell = Don't strain your eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven = Hell = Don't strain your eyes. The point was taken immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Hartman Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 The point was taken immediately. I do my best. Good morning RA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 I do my best. Good morning RA Top o' the morning to ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven Peace in the world My morning dark roast coffee Martsons Pedigree English Ale Rangers thumping Celtic Hell Continued conflict Not having Martsons availible..... I'm in hell at the moment No dark roast coffee Celtic thumping Rangers.... and having to hear about it forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroselambra~ Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 ..a track by The Who a rather splendid rendition of which can be found on Live at Leeds!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Heaven Peace in the world My morning dark roast coffee Martsons Pedigree English Ale Rangers thumping Celtic Hell Continued conflict Not having Martsons availible..... I'm in hell at the moment No dark roast coffee Celtic thumping Rangers.... and having to hear about it forever Hell....looking for "Martsons" on the net, not realizing that you're really after "Marston's". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Hell....looking for "Martsons" on the net, not realizing that you're really after "Marston's". ooops it's early and I've only had one cuppa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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