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Posted

Over centuries, heaven and hell has merely been devices used by the religious to control their fellow man. I do not subscribe to this nonsense myself. But I do believe heaven and hell DO indeed exist, but on a more basic, human level.

Examples of hell:

1.Politics and the discussion thereof

2.Running outta beer in the middle of a camping trip, before it even gets dark

3.Breaking a guitar string at a gig, with no spares in sight

4.Waking up the next morning, discovering that you had beer goggles the night before.

5.Realizing that Ron Wood is now your lead guitarist, replacing Mick Taylor.

Examples of heaven:

1.Winning the lottery

2.Free beer- delivered straight to your campsite, ice cold

3.The "Spats" thread has been deleted

4.Robert Plant says "I was just joking- of course I'll join in on the new album and tour!"

5.The above #5 was just a bad, horrible nightmare.

Discuss amongst yourselves....

B)

(edited for spelling...who the fuck is Ron Rood? :lol:)

Posted
Over centuries, heaven and hell has merely been devices used by the religious to control their fellow man. I do not subscribe to this nonsense myself. But I do believe heaven and hell DO indeed exist, but on a more basic, human level.

Discuss amongst yourselves....

B)

Examples of hell:

-Three words:Motor Vehicle Administration

-Liquor stores that close early

-Dial-up

-Dental work without Novacaine

-Mick Jagger solo albums :P:whistling:

Examples of heaven:

-Singing "Happy" on stage for Keith Richards during a Rolling Stones concert at MSG.

-Beer out of the kitchen tap.(Hot,Cold,Heineken)

-Morning Wood-and someone to share it with-EVERY DAY

-Secondhand smoke cures cancer

-"Swallowing" causes weight loss

-Drinking beer causes your urine to turn into unleaded gasoline.

More later......

Posted

ROTFL :D I agree with morning wood. Also silence (no, really), water, trees.......bongos, sick humor, up front people who are direct. Animals, babies, ambient music, heavy music, people who don't give a shit, people who give too many shits, cartoon sound effects, oh so many heavenly things!

Then there's hell: A man ashamed of his own wood, gossipy ladies, offices, cubicles, no music, no humor, cautious wishy-washy people, stupid politicians, celebutantes, and religious extremists.

Posted

The Sports Edition

Heaven

- Harry Kalas narrates everything.

- Watching Muhammed Ali fight Joe Louis from the front row.

- Watching the Greatest Ballplayers of All Time gather for one last game..not in Iowa.

- The Eagles beating the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX. T.O. declares his love for humanity and the Eagles, gives up love for himself, leading to future titles in Philly.

- John Kruk receives a golden testical, completing his resurgence to God-like status among "ballplayers."

Hell

- Having William Penn mortally skull fuck your city for 25 winless years.

- You're down by 5 in the 4th Quarter with 0:03 seconds left to play when suddenly the power goes out at the pub as your team throws downfield to an open receiver.

- Having to listen to Joe Buck commentate all the big games because Fox sucks Sports' money cock.

- Trying to make sense out of a John Madden comment.

- The Mets Win.

Posted

Heaven

Peace in the world

My morning dark roast coffee

Martsons Pedigree English Ale

Rangers thumping Celtic

Hell

Continued conflict

Not having Martsons availible..... I'm in hell at the moment

No dark roast coffee

Celtic thumping Rangers.... and having to hear about it forever :D

Posted
Heaven

Peace in the world

My morning dark roast coffee

Martsons Pedigree English Ale

Rangers thumping Celtic

Hell

Continued conflict

Not having Martsons availible..... I'm in hell at the moment

No dark roast coffee

Celtic thumping Rangers.... and having to hear about it forever :D

Hell....looking for "Martsons" on the net, not realizing that you're really after "Marston's".

B)

Posted
Hell....looking for "Martsons" on the net, not realizing that you're really after "Marston's".

B)

ooops :D it's early and I've only had one cuppa

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