The genius of George W. Bush!

[Rock Action]

[PennyLane]

Too funny!!!

[Rock Action]

[Rock Action]

One pecker meets the other....

[Rock Action]

And finally, Bush addresses the American public when asked about our economy...

[Rock Action]

Oh cmon and lighten up on the good ole boy. A month from now he will be hunting for quail with Cheney.

I wonder if Bush will misoverestimate Cheney's shootifying skills and accidentally get shotificated.

[Strider]

From the Onion:

I'm Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place

BY GEORGE W. BUSH

DECEMBER 1, 2008 | ISSUE 44•49

Oh, America. Eight years went by so fast, didn't they? I feel like I hardly got to know you and methodically undermine everything you once stood for. But I guess all good things must come to an end, and even though you know I would love to stick around for another year or four—maybe privatize Social Security or get us into Iran—I'm afraid it's time to go. But before I leave, let me say, from the bottom of my heart: I can't think of another country I would've rather led to the brink of collapse.

Boy, oh boy, if these Oval Office walls could talk. Seems like it was only yesterday that I started my first term despite having actually lost to Al Gore by more than a half million votes. Hmm. We were all so young and peaceful then. Gosh, gas was still under $2 a gallon! On my watch it peaked at more than twice that. Never getting it up to $6 or ideally $7.50 will be one of my few regrets when I leave office.

It's just gonna be so hard packing up my things and heading off into the sunset come January. I wish I could go on forever giving massive and disastrous tax cuts to the wealthy, taking the country from a surplus to a deficit—nearly $500 billion this year, likely to pass $1 trillion next year, fingers crossed—and just generally doing irreparable damage to the very underpinnings of our economy, but, well, I'm afraid the Constitution says I can't. And not even I can overrule the Constitution. Though Lord knows I tried! Initiating blanket wiretaps without warrants, suspending habeas corpus for prisoners in Guantanamo, infiltrating an unknown number of nonviolent civilian antiwar groups without permission… such wonderful memories. I'm going to cherish them forever.

My fellow Americans, I only hope that every time you have your civil liberties encroached upon by the Patriot Act, you'll think of me.

Everywhere I look brings back memories. The Blue Room is where Laura and I put up our first White House Christmas tree. Down the hall, in the East Room, is where I concocted my favorite signing statement to circumvent the anti-torture guidelines of the Detainee Treatment Act of 2005, and—ooh!—right across the way is where Cheney and I decided to use the death of 3,000 Americans on 9/11 and the nation's subsequent fear of another attack as an excuse to carry out our long-standing plan to invade Iraq. I should really get a picture before I leave.

Speaking of pictures, whenever I look at the dusty old newspaper photos of those tortured prisoners at Abu Ghraib or the crumpled ruins of that bridge in Minnesota, I can hold my head up high knowing that I truly fucked this nation—physically and symbolically—beyond repair. I only wish I had the time to destroy a couple more major American cities.

And Cheney, I almost forgot about Cheney. What a guy, huh? I can't believe that in a few short weeks he's never going to talk to me again. The stories I could tell you about what went on in some of those back rooms—well, you wouldn't believe me if I declassified the memos. I don't know, maybe in 20 years, when the economy has rebounded and the people displaced by Katrina have rebuilt their lives from scratch with almost no federal assistance, Cheney and I can meet up again in the Rose Garden and reminisce over the good old days, when it seemed like there was no part of this great country we couldn't ruin forever.

What am I going to do once I'm no longer president? I've gotten so used to waking up every day, playing fetch with the dogs on the White House lawn, and then spending a lazy afternoon shredding every last bit of our good will abroad in a mind-boggling display of diplomatic incompetence.

The worst part about leaving is knowing I can never screw up anything this big again. Don't get me wrong, I'm only 62. I could still bankrupt an oil company, or become the next MLB commissioner and ruin baseball. But I'll never get the opportunity to fuck up on this massive of a scale again. Even if you put me back in charge for another term, I could only take the U.S. from a rapidly declining world power to not a world power at all. I don't mean to gloat, but I think it's safe to say that no one can ever unseat the American empire like I unseated the American empire.

Still, I have to admit, sometimes I think I could've dismantled so much more. The very fact that the environment still exists, that a mere 4,000 troops have died in Iraq, that there is still the slightest glimmer of hope for the future left in this nation—it's easy to feel like maybe I didn't do my job. But no, no, there's no use having any regret. I fucked everything up the best I could and that's good enough for me.

You know, I've got a few weeks left. I could still illegally fire some U.S. attorneys for political reasons, or finally get rid of that pesky separation between church and state. Or maybe I could just bomb a place. Like Russia. But this time, I would really savor it.

As long as I live, America, I'll never forget irreparably ruining you. Unless we all die in a nuclear war or calamitous environmental disaster brought on by my neglect. Either way, I'll see you all in heaven!

[Rock Action]

Hell, I KNOW Bush didn't write that. He's not that literate.

[L.A Queen]

This one made my day, thanks for the good laugh Rock Action

Post some more this thread is hilarious...

[Virginia]

Musical George :

[Rock Action]

[Rock Action]

[Bong-Man]

http://www.slate.com/id/2208132/

W.'s Greatest Hits

The top 25 Bushisms of all time.

By Jacob Weisberg

Posted Monday, Jan. 12, 2009, at 3:43 PM ET

I started gathering Bush's verbal slip-ups while covering his first presidential campaign. From the first one we published in Slate in October 1999—"The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?"—adding to the collection has been my main pleasure, perhaps my only pleasure, in watching the man.

Since then, I've collected—with help from Slate readers—more than 500 Bushisms. What follows is a list of my 25 favorites. There were many to choose from, but in my opinion, the greatest Bushism of all was delivered on Aug. 5, 2004, when the president declared: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

People often assume that because I've spent the past nine years collecting Bushisms, I must despise George W. Bush. To the contrary, Bushisms fill me with affection for the man—and not just because of the income stream they've generated. I find the Bush who flails with words, unlike the Bush who flails with policy, to be an endearing character. Instead of a villain, he makes himself into an irresistible buffoon, like Mrs. Malaprop, Archie Bunker, or Homer Simpson. Bush treats words the way he treated recalcitrant European leaders: When they won't do what he wants them to, he tries to bully them into submission. Through his willful, improvisational, and incompetent use of language, he tempers (very slightly) his willful, improvisational, and incompetent use of government. You can't, in the end, despise someone who regrets that, because of the rising cost of malpractice insurance, "[t]oo many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

It helps his case that Bush, like Yogi Berra, is in on the joke. This was clear from the first White House correspondents' dinner, in March 2001, when the new president read from the first collection of Bushisms, which he described as like Mao's "little red book," only not in Chinese. "Now ladies and gentlemen," he said, "you have to admit that in my sentences I go where no man has gone before." Of course, he bumbled his speech, claiming that he'd invented the term misunderstanding. He meant to say "misunderestimated."

Being able to laugh at yourself is a rare quality in a leader. It's one thing George W. Bush can do that Bill Clinton couldn't. Unfortunately, as we bid farewell to Bushisms, we must conclude that the joke was mainly on us.

1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 Always been my personal favorite

5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006

8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

9. "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

11. "We ought to make the pie higher."—South Carolina Republican debate, Feb. 15, 2000

12. "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

13. "And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."—speaking on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

14. "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."—Houston, Sept. 6, 2000

15. "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

16. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."—U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 3, 2000

17. "People say, 'How can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil?' You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

18. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."—CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

19. "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."—on the prospect of visiting Denmark, Washington, D.C., June 29, 2005

20. "I think it's really important for this great state of baseball to reach out to people of all walks of life to make sure that the sport is inclusive. The best way to do it is to convince little kids how to—the beauty of playing baseball."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 13, 2006

21. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."—LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

22. "You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one."—Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006

23. "There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' "—Boston, Oct. 3, 2000

24. "They misunderestimated me."—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."—Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

[punksandwich]

This joint's too big Dick ! It's gettin' me goofy as hell !!

[Zachman]

I wonder if Bush will misoverestimate Cheney's shootifying skills and accidentally get shotificated.

Lets hope so i hope both of those bastards die.. evil f*cks they are

[Pb Derigable]

I really hope the Dems go after President Bush for all the wrong doings he has done. I hope the prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. I hope they do that, even though they have no factual evidence of any wrong doing. So when they put the handcuffs on President Bush, they would have to travel arrest the Elder Pres. Bush, Pres. Clinton, and Pres. Carter. Than they would have to have to start an impeachment of Pres. Obama. Because even though with two wars and a economic crisis, the front page of the New York Times is a more pressing need than anything else.

I also can't wait until Gitmo closes so they can move those bastards to a prison the united states, so those killers can get lawyers, get thier case thrown out and start killing agian. Than finally, the people of the world would like us again.

[zepyep]

Hi Pb,all,

I really hope the Dems go after President Bush for all the wrong doings he has done. I hope the prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. I hope they do that, even though they have no factual evidence of any wrong doing. So when they put the handcuffs on President Bush, they would have to travel arrest the Elder Pres. Bush, Pres. Clinton, and Pres. Carter.

You mean Congress,the Justice dept. let them all get away with it? Who knew,...everyone,.....

Than they would have to have to start an impeachment of Pres. Obama

No,no no.He will be President on Jan. 20,2009.until he swears and lifts his hand off Lincoln's bible.Oh,and by the way,Lincoln liked to ignore the US Constitution when it suited him.

Because even though with two wars and a economic crisis, the front page of the New York Times is a more pressing need than anything else.

I also can't wait until Gitmo closes so they can move those bastards to a prison the united states, so those killers can get lawyers, get thier case thrown out and start killing agian. Than finally, the people of the world would like us again.

Funny,when Dow hit 12,000,no one was singing praise about Bush's so-called economy, why?

Gitmo closes,no they will all be deported.To watch Disney movies with their children,I'm sure.

Memo to the world,I do not care if you like us,nor the US.When s*** goes down who do you call?The UN?

KB

p.s. To the new President of the USA:All the best,and I hope this a start.We the people of the United States of America.

[Electrophile]

The only case I could understand someone making about Lincoln and the Constitution is when he suspended habeas corpus. However, in light of the situation that he was in, I can understand why he did it, even though I would not support a current President doing the same thing.

[zepyep]

Hi Electrophile,all,

The only case I could understand someone making about Lincoln and the Constitution is when he suspended habeas corpus. However, in light of the situation that he was in, I can understand why he did it, even though I would not support a current President doing the same thing.

Oh, yes he did.And bitter was that claim.Was not Bush taken to the same woodshed?

KB

[Electrophile]

George Bush said the Constitution was just a "goddamned piece of paper". I have about 20 books on Abraham Lincoln and I don't recall him saying anything similar to that.

I'm not saying what Lincoln did was right. I'm saying it was understandable. Can't say the same about Bush, at least not in my mind.

[zepyep]

Hi all,

Ignoring the Constitution is just that.Got it.

KB

[Electrophile]

Not everything is black and white. Governing sometimes takes shades of gray.

[punksandwich]

Not everything is black and white. Governing sometimes takes shades of gray.

That sounds like Obama. He's only 16% black, 33% Arab and a full 50% white.

But when I think about it, he's not GRAY, but a rainbow, a multitude of colors. Appropo wouldn't you say?

Now if his color assortment can attract a generation of voters in years to come we might get something done.

[Electrophile]

I don't think anyone cares what percentage of what he is. Really.

[punksandwich]

I don't think anyone cares what percentage of what he is. Really.

You don't think anyone cares. Are you crazy ? There are millions who do, not that I care, but to deny that others don't care. How foolish.

You don't get out in the general population much do you?