The Threshold of Your Life

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Obviously, many people here went from the transition of high school into the "real world," dependent on whatever decision they respectfully made.

It's only I'm going to graduate in only a few months, and I am in dire need to calm my nerves.

It just seemed that in the beginning of high school, everyone was blissfully ignorant and naive and completely unprepared about what was going to eventually happen. None of my friends like to think about the future. Looking back, it just seemed that we were too spoiled. There was barely any concern in the world and we just worried about finishing the sparse amount of homework and the dinner plate, and then we could just leave the house and get involved in teenage debauchery.

It was just barely do the homework and party afterwards. Yet we still managed to get decent grades, despite the hedonistic lifestyle.

It's funny because I know many of my teenage friends always wanted to "grow up" and all of a sudden, this year, it seems that they want to latch onto that security blanket again.

All of a sudden, there's intense pressure to become a mature adult while slowly weaning from that spoiled, hedonistic lifestyle that we had not too long ago.

Now, all that is backfiring. It's not time to be babied anymore and that shows in our grades, no more handing out grades like candy. If you give less regard to your studies, it'll show up in your marks. Of course, I don't mind. I'm completely responsible for my blunders.

I know to take responsibility for my declining grades. It's just a huge shock, but a reality check, going from getting straight A's to getting significantly lower grades suddenly in senior year [ok, mostly B's and C's, but that is still something]

But grades are only the surface. All of a sudden, different people seem to push you into growing up. It's deja vu because we whined and pined to grow up, and now it's time to show that we're responsible for it, and not stupid and naive like we used to be a few years back.

It's just feels like all of a sudden, I'll have to brave it all out on my own

Mom says: "We'll have to find a man as soon as you're in college, we'll have to talk about marriage soon afterwards. Oh, and if I find out about any bad behavior though, just beware, young lady"

Dad says: "remember you're paying for everything from now on: that means car payments, insurance, college expenses, and luxuries"

Brother says: "Don't be stupid when you're dorming. Guys may seem like they're cute, but most of them are probably going to rape you"

Teachers says: "You think this small blunder senior year is bad? Ha, wait till you get to college, you'll be up all night, literally"

And I don't mind sucking up to the responsibilities, I mean that is life, we all have to deal with that. It just feels as if going away to college is the biggest and quickest transition into adulthood and the most difficult time I'll have to endure yet with a huge whirlwind of new things to adjust to.

I know I need to grow up, I know that mom and dad respectfully did enough. It just seems that I set myself up for failure right at this moment. It's my fault I slacked off, abruptly, my senior year. It's on my shoulders to now find a job as quickly as possible to support myself [where is this job?, anyways. It seems as if I've been searching for years, but I was always too young] , I need to still try my damn hardest to get the best grade possible, and it's my fault that I don't have my license's yet to carry out most of these tasks.

The future is exciting but very vague at this point, not knowing what I want to do with it. I think I desire security right now such as getting a decent paying job right out of college and all that nonsense. But, then at the same time, there's a desire to get out and have a life, chock full of partying and other activities that focus on risky fun and thrill. But I also can't be selfish about wanting to succeed and have fun and still think about helping others out in dire need. It also seems like an illusion, what if college is easier than I am told constantly? But what if it's harder?

Probably, I'm still more young and naive than I think I am. It may seem I set myself up for failure, but I probably have absolutely no idea what will come later on, beyond this next stage.

I hope this doesn't sound like ranting. I am willing to accept the fact that I need to be more responsible, but I am just profoundly and utterly confused, while being excited about moving away for the first time.

I hope I didn't bore you. I'd greatly appreciate input, anything at all

speaking from experience on what to expect and maybe on staying calm

trials and tribulations that are inevitable

rants on how the so called "real world" corrupts eager adolescents

things to look forward to, even in the midst of all the frustration

anything related to easing a high school senior's nerves.

[Dzldoc]

You'll do fine, you seem like a very intelligent young woman.

As for myself, I went straight from High School to the workforce and on my own.

After 7 years of a career in the oil field it crashed in the early 80's and had to go back to school to train for something else, it was either that or go drop chicken baskets for popeyes.

I can't speak for your family traditions plus I'm a guy so expectations may be different.

Take advantage of the opportunity to get the extra education it will pay off in the long run whether you choose a career or not.

Good Luck

[punksandwich]

That's some pretty heavy stuff to be thinking about. I never even worried it and before going to college I went to Party U. for summer school. That prepared me and then college was a breeze. I sailed right through with my mind elsewhere the whole time. The transition was easy, lots more freedom and the keggers were great extra curricular work with plenty of studymates to compare notes with.

Lighten up a little, it'll be ok. Allow yourself enough fun to make it an enjoyable time, don't bog yourself down with being just a bookworm. Get out and do some snakin' !

[Aquamarine]

I think everybody at your stage in life feels that way, but many of them aren't smart enough (unlike you) to understand why.

Sounds to me that things are going along exactly the way they're supposed to. Which isn't always fun, and often involves lots of agonizing, but we've all been through it. (All high school teachers will try to scare you about how much harder life will be in college--that's a given.) And when you get to college, you'll find everybody else slacked off senior year too, and that you'll do fine and love it.

Don't worry about a thing.

[BUCK'EYE' DOC]

Hi DeepBlackZeppelin!

As a parent, I have been through "senior year" twice recently with my two sons who are one year apart in school. One is now a junior and one is a sophomore at Ohio State. From my perespective, I feel that I am now an expert. There is a difference between boys and girls in rates of maturity and I can only speak about my observations and perceptions and it may help you gain perspective on what you are going through.

First off, there is tremendous pressure on you to decide your future. And at 18 years old, I don't believe that one can decide what it is that one wants. The maturity is just not there. You haven't had many life experiences and there is so many options that are available, it is impossible to know what they all are and then to choose the one that is the best for you.

This pressure makes you do things that are our of character, like not studying and getting poor grades. You just want high school to be over and get on with the next stage of life. You want to do adult things and be free of your parents, but then you want their security. So you push them away, but then want their help also.

College is indeed alot different than high school. It is up to you to do your school work. The professors don't care if you do it or not, and they are just as happy to give you a F and are begrudging with the A's. You can't waste your time and have to keep up with your assignments as it is impossible to catch up. The competition is fierce for grades. It can be very cut-throat. This atmosphere makes you grow up fast. And if you don't, you flunk out of school (and waste your parents money ) So this gives you added pressure.

There is so much to do in college, so many new people and friends, so you must learn to manage your time well. This is difficult as you must develope self-discipline and this takes maturity.

Both of my boys almost gave up on high school after they got their college acceptance letters and scholarships. They both learned some lessons in their last half of their senior year, and they buckled down and kept up with their work and it resulted in alot of awards and honors at graduation time.

I will be happy to talk to you some more about this, but it is so late and my brain is not working. I hope that this has helped you some.

Keep plugging away. Keep your chin up. Enjoy the last half of your senior year. Don't wish it away. And don't be afraid of the future. And don't give your parents too much of a hard time. They don't want to let you go.

BUCK'EYE' DOC

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Thanks everybody very, very much.

I was stressing out very much, and that's new habit of mine's.

It's been a bit agonizing.

It's that it's a crossroads between pressures from both sides of the spectrum

Yes, partying seems like so much fun and it's only natural that a bunch of young, hormone-driven adolescents have a few ideas in mind to do so.

But, these days and with the pressure of the economy, it seems as if education is the only thing you can have to keep yourself standing still and sturdy. Education, as it may be in millions of other households, is strongly strongly stressed. But, honestly, hours and hours of studying each day doesn't sound like the partying and fun most people desire.

It was a bit scary moving away for the first time and thinking about it and knowing that it's less than a year away. Also, I am going to go to a university that is known to be a party school for freshmen.

But, I am getting calmer now, thank you.

and P.S.- thanks for calling me intelligent, it makes me blush a little. It's nothing really, it's just what a few years of kissing up and bookworming does. I'm stupid in many other ways.

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Hi DeepBlackZeppelin!

As a parent, I have been through "senior year" twice recently with my two sons who are one year apart in school. One is now a junior and one is a sophomore at Ohio State. From my perespective, I feel that I am now an expert. There is a difference between boys and girls in rates of maturity and I can only speak about my observations and perceptions and it may help you gain perspective on what you are going through.

First off, there is tremendous pressure on you to decide your future. And at 18 years old, I don't believe that one can decide what it is that one wants. The maturity is just not there. You haven't had many life experiences and there is so many options that are available, it is impossible to know what they all are and then to choose the one that is the best for you.

This pressure makes you do things that are our of character, like not studying and getting poor grades. You just want high school to be over and get on with the next stage of life. You want to do adult things and be free of your parents, but then you want their security. So you push them away, but then want their help also.

College is indeed alot different than high school. It is up to you to do your school work. The professors don't care if you do it or not, and they are just as happy to give you a F and are begrudging with the A's. You can't waste your time and have to keep up with your assignments as it is impossible to catch up. The competition is fierce for grades. It can be very cut-throat. This atmosphere makes you grow up fast. And if you don't, you flunk out of school (and waste your parents money ) So this gives you added pressure.

There is so much to do in college, so many new people and friends, so you must learn to manage your time well. This is difficult as you must develope self-discipline and this takes maturity.

Both of my boys almost gave up on high school after they got their college acceptance letters and scholarships. They both learned some lessons in their last half of their senior year, and they buckled down and kept up with their work and it resulted in alot of awards and honors at graduation time.

I will be happy to talk to you some more about this, but it is so late and my brain is not working. I hope that this has helped you some.

Keep plugging away. Keep your chin up. Enjoy the last half of your senior year. Don't wish it away. And don't be afraid of the future. And don't give your parents too much of a hard time. They don't want to let you go.

BUCK'EYE' DOC

That was profound and very humorous too. I'll keep you updated, but my brain is definitely malfunctioning too, at the moment.

I think I'll get some sleep as well. I only get about 5 hours of sleep during the weekdays, time to slumber in.

[Angel With A Broken Wing]

[...]

I hope I didn't bore you. I'd greatly appreciate input, anything at all

...

anything related to easing a high school senior's nerves.

No, you didn't bore me at all DeepBlackZeppelin. Quite the opposite in fact. I'm so very impressed with your writing....the style, the content... and the feelings just jump off the page! You've really captured a moment in time and an experience that all go through; for me it was 1973. Now reading your words I'm getting a little emotional reliving those days, I had forgotten all the angst & anxiety of that phase of life.

Well, here's the only input I can offer that other's haven't yet -- when you get older and look back on your life you will tend to remember more of the good times than the bad. And I have a hunch that you will experience tons of good times in the next few years. I wish you luck. Remember that you have lots of Zeppelin friends of all ages & from all walks of life who support you!

~~Becky

[Virginia]

College is indeed very different, but you have a good head on your shoulders and a great deal of maturity, so I know you will be fine! (I mistakenly thought you were already in college!)

One piece of advice I would add is to become involved in student groups that are meaningful to you (and take on leadership roles), and get to know your faculty. This will help you tremendously in preparing for the work force and life after college.

Networking is also very important. Even after college; stay connected to your alma mater and cultivate the professional relationships you develop. Seek out connections when you need them, and pay it forward when you can.

Very best wishes to you!

[JethroTull]

Don't fool yourself. A lot of people HERE haven't transitioned from high school to the real world. It's difficult NOT to give you some type of cliched advice, but don't be afraid to take chances and just do your best at whatever you do. AND, go to college.

[ninelives]

DeepBlackZeppelin - I quite admire how intelligent, aware and articulate you are. Those attributes will carry you far in life. High School is a tough time in our life. There's a part of you that still wants to be a kid - taken care of, care free, have fun but then there's that part of you that wants to come into your own person, be an adult, break away from your parents etc. So it's only natural to feel a lot of conflict and confusion.

As far as you feeling you've made mistakes, that's a very big part of learning. It's sort of like we don't know who we are or what we like until we learn who we aren't and don't like. Mistakes can be great tools for growth when you can recognize it. Which you sound like you have.

I think you just need to take things one step at a time and try not to worry so much. I've been through what you are going through and it was difficult for me - I made a lot of choices looking back perhaps I wish I could have done differently. BUT - I wouldn't be where I am now and have all the other wonderful experiences if I hadn't followed the paths I did. So I guess in a confusing way, it all does work out.

[Katuschka]

I know this feeling. I still felt like a child when I graduated. Now, after (almost) three years at university, I feel I'm wholly prepared (and willing) to start living on my own.

Don't worry, it'll be okay.

[ally]

I have to agree with most of the advice people have put forward here. It can be very difficult coming to terms with the expectations of becoming an adult. The high school - collage or work transition can put enormous strain on things like friendships ,boyfriends, girlfriends. Sometimes, sadly, it can even bring those to an end. Even though it is something that everyone goes through , it is never easy giving advice to other's on the subject. What I can say from my own experiences and those of my two son's is that the answer really does lie within. The trick is to be honest with yourself and listen to yourself. Part of your new presidents speech yesterday dealt with the concept of falling down, picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and moving on to the next challenge. Through experience, it's a concept that I feel very strongly about. Failure happens in life and we learn from it. No shame at all.

Fear of failure however, is something that holds us back from pursuing our dreams. My advice to any young person if they are not sure about what they want to do is, pick something. Follow the path and see where it takes you. If nothing else, you'll realize what you don't want to do and most likely find what it is that works for you. Oh, and resist taking on jobs just for the money. There's plenty of people who have left their dreams behind for that

[wanna be drummer]

First of all, college isn't that hard.

Second, high school might be a financial threshold for kids, but for a lot of people, high school isn't a safe haven. Yeah, everyone has fun and whatnot, but it can be a living hell. I always told my parents that. "Let's trade lives. I'll write programs on a computer at your work by myself in a room, dad. And you can go socialize with some of the tools I'm around 7 hours a day. Let's just say it'll be an eye-opener for the both of us "

Sorry if this seems angry, but I have a worthless class coming up in half an hour where we used paint for 20 mintues on Friday...

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Thank you recent people for your advice. I appreciate the morally enriched advice.

Wanna be, I know I was sheltered and spoiled with a privileged lifestyle. I hope I don't get fed on a silver platter, coming into college. Moving away for the first time seemed sort of intimidating, though.

[manderlyh]

First of all, college isn't that hard.

Second, high school might be a financial threshold for kids, but for a lot of people, high school isn't a safe haven. Yeah, everyone has fun and whatnot, but it can be a living hell. I always told my parents that. "Let's trade lives. I'll write programs on a computer at your work by myself in a room, dad. And you can go socialize with some of the tools I'm around 7 hours a day. Let's just say it'll be an eye-opener for the both of us "

Sorry if this seems angry, but I have a worthless class coming up in half an hour where we used paint for 20 mintues on Friday...

^speak for yourself. Once I got into the teaching progam, I was always working my ass off.

Prior to my junior/senior year, it was a LOT easier, I will give you that.

I gave some seniors a few pieces of advice today about college:

Really, DBZ--college is different from high school. Many teachers don't take attendance they don't really care whether you are in class. If you do go to class, it's beneficial to you (big duh) and if you read your assignments BEFORE class, you should be fine.

I was cocky the first few years I was in college--I was used to just showing up whenever I wanted, like in high school, and being able to just make up all of the assignments that I missed when I wasn't there.

College teachers don't take late work, so if you're not going to be there the day something is due, you'd better make prior arrangements.

Just read your reading assignments and go to your scheduled classes. Believe me, NOT reading them gets you nowhere fast! Overall, college doesn't give as many assigments.

DBZ--I know you're smart. I was also very nervous about graduating high school--I actually CRIED at my HS graduation--because I was so nervous.

You'll do fine, as long as you keep yourself in check and be sure to get homework done before the hour before it's due.

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Thanks for the advice, Mandy.

I'm slowly trying to wean away from senioritis, [guilty] but I'm going to improve for college.

You graduated already, right? Congrats

[wanna be drummer]

^speak for yourself. Once I got into the teaching progam, I was always working my ass off.

Prior to my junior/senior year, it was a LOT easier, I will give you that.

Indeed I was

I just expected it to be a lot worse than it is I suppose

[spats]

First of all, college isn't that hard.

Second, high school might be a financial threshold for kids, but for a lot of people, high school isn't a safe haven. Yeah, everyone has fun and whatnot, but it can be a living hell. I always told my parents that. "Let's trade lives. I'll write programs on a computer at your work by myself in a room, dad. And you can go socialize with some of the tools I'm around 7 hours a day. Let's just say it'll be an eye-opener for the both of us "

Sorry if this seems angry, but I have a worthless class coming up in half an hour where we used paint for 20 mintues on Friday...

Exactly. I never found highschool a safe haven from anything. School is incredibly shallow and it wasn't exactly a joy to be there. I am glad i am done with it. Even though scars are left behind. But if someone had an amazing time in high school i can see how scary it can be to leave and go to colleg or work,etc.

As far as college goes you are right. It's not that hard. And it's not as if the stuff you learn in high school or college actually is useful to you in your life after it's over. I remember thinking. "What did i need to learn all of that stuff for". Because i never had much use for any of it afterwards. And i felt like it was a waste of time in hindsight.

[Bustle In My Hedgerow]

DPZ, I've interacted with you briefly on this forum before and I had no idea you had yet to graduate high school.. you are so intelligent and articulate in your posts and the advice you give (thank you so much, btw) that it was a shock to stumble upon this thread.

Suffice it to say, you have a smart head on your shoulders.. you aren't taking this transition lightly, which is something I did when I made the transition.. it was more of a way of calming the anxiety of leaving my family for a huge school.. out of sight, out of mind, you know? But looking back, I realize I could have definitely prepared myself better for the transition if I had one piece of advice given to me: it's all about personal responsibility.

I got dreadful grades my first semester, almost lost my scholarship, got drugged at a party and spent a day passed out in an apartment, and almost went blind in one eye because I let an eye infection develop into a big opthalmological problem... and it was all because I was too caught up in the freedom college gave me. That's what this is about: being given the freedom to direct your own course of studies that might (hopefully) better prepare you for a career out in the 'real world'.. but what I never realized was that I was thrust into the 'real world' the minute I stepped foot on campus.

It might seem very unsettling right now, but this is the first step you are taking to carving out a niche for yourself (your own niche!). It took me a whole semester and a lot of ups and downs until I got the hang of it, but I'm confident you will do splendidly. PM me if you ever have any questions or anything. Not to sound didactic, because god knows there are some days when I wish I still had my mom reminding me to do my homework at the kitchen table.

[Mrs. Plant]

It's just feels like all of a sudden, I'll have to brave it all out on my own

Mom says: "We'll have to find a man as soon as you're in college, we'll have to talk about marriage soon afterwards. Oh, and if I find out about any bad behavior though, just beware, young lady"

Dad says: "remember you're paying for everything from now on: that means car payments, insurance, college expenses, and luxuries"

Brother says: "Don't be stupid when you're dorming. Guys may seem like they're cute, but most of them are probably going to rape you"

Teachers says: "You think this small blunder senior year is bad? Ha, wait till you get to college, you'll be up all night, literally"

you'll lovvvve college. I'd give anything to go back and do it again...and I just might!

I'd never go back to high school in a million years.

College really helps you figure out who you really are and find out who your real friends are.

Now as for the comments from your family:

To Mom: are you kidding?!?!?

To Dad: (Is he making you get a job right away college?) I honestly don't think it's the best idea. I personally feel that the first two years, or at least the first year, should be focused on getting the highest starting GPA you can...learn how you can balance classes before getting a job. I did an on campus job, loved it, I suggest looking into those. A lot of times, you just get paid to study...

To Bro: He's just being protective as he should.

To the Teachers: take it from me...if you make the most out of college, high school wont matter anymore. And you won't be up all night....Don't let yourself, you'll need the sleep and you'll do better. And, college courses are tougher, yes, but much more enjoyable.

[wanna be drummer]

I'm working and doing school too. 10 hours a week isn't hard at all and it can help out with all those checks and keeping the bank account from goin broke. I'd strongly suggest a job, just go easy at first

[DeepBlackZeppelin]

Thanks Bustle, Mrs. Plant, and Wanna Be

Bustle, I really appreciate the compliments in the beginning. That was a lot of horrible things to face in college. I hope you healed from all that chaos. And I think I can do worse than to be reminded to do my homework on the kitchen table, though I am being a bit irresponsible this senior year.

Mrs. Plant, I do get some crazy advice. But, I do know that some of it is crap. It did make things seem worse than they are. I appreciate your specific comments on the advice.

And wanna be, I do get busy sometimes, but a lot of my friends in college can balance jobs as well. So I definitely get what you mean