Atlas
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Posts posted by Atlas
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Edit to add: DAMN! That babe has a body!
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I had to chase away a woman whom I really love because her alcohol consumption was messing up my life as well as hers. I was not graceful. I was cruel. I know she has underlying psychological problems. I am sure there is some sever PTSD from more than one source. She was also neglected in many ways as a child. I have my own issues. Not all that different from hers, but my psychological wounds aren't nearly as deep.
I wish I were stronger, and could just leave her to go her own way. I was vicious in what I said to her to drive her away.
Today I called her up to see how she is doing, and because I have some of her cloths which she left at my apartment. She is staying with a guy she goes back to every time we have a falling out. He has savagely brutalized countless times, but she keeps going back. Today she told me she thinks she as a broken arm. When I said "he beat the crap out of you again, but you will stay with him tonight, won't you?" she hung the phone up.
Sometimes mental illness is a multi-player game.
I really feel bad about my conduct. I know she goes back to this goon in order to shock and guilt-trip me and her mother. I know it's not my fault that this guy is brutalizing her. It's not my fault that she goes back to him. It is my fault that I was so cruel to her.
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For the sake of full disclosure, I do have a diagnosis of ADHD and PTSD which I accept. The two conditions seem to be strongly correlated. ADHD really is a big problem. It's difficult for people who don't have it to really grasp what's going on. It interferes with basic aspects of life such as relationships and jobs in ways which appear to be moral failings.
Mental illness is a very difficult thing to live with. Both for the person who has the illness, and for the people involved with the mentally ill person. Since mental illness directly impacts the way people interact with others, we tend to get angry and impatient with the sick person. We tend to be patent with a person with an obvious physical infirmity, but far less so with mental infirmities.
Consider that we frequently hurl accusations of mental illness and insanity in order to insult and discredit others.
I am currently in a situation where someone else's mental illness has led me to be extremely cruel to her. I feel really bad about it. The problem is that her condition makes her very abusive and insensitive to me. When we enter into relationships there is an expectation of mutual contribution. Often a mentally ill person cannot uphold his or her side of that arrangement. The other party doesn't gain fulfillment and satisfaction commensurate with his or her contribution. That leads to resentment and hostility.
That's probably the core of most dysfunctional relationships.
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Yes,but that's the argument that Schizophrenics make,I say that from experience,and I'm almost certain that the voices are just simply NOT THERE!JMO though,I do agree with the basic point.
Perhaps some reality testing might be in order. A person who really does suffer from such disorders will probably become very angry and defensive if their delusions are effectively challenged. I don't mean that the person should be put on the defensive. I'm only suggesting some probing questions.
It's often the case that a person can develop a paranoid stance because they are never given complete information and actually are being manipulated in some way or another. Such things do happen.
http://www.claudesteiner.com/osp2.htm
Lies are a third family of power plays. They take advantage of people's gullibility and fear of confrontation.Most people are extremely susceptible to lies, because as a matter of daily routine, we are lied to extensively from our earliest days. One of the most effective ways of controlling people is by lying to them; when we feel superior to someone else we seem to believe that we don't have to tell them the truth. Usually, the explanation for not being truthful to those we wish to control is that they aren't mature or intelligent enough to understand things as they really are; or that it would hurt them if they knew the truth. These excuses for lying are used by politicians in relation to voters; by management in relation to the workers; by rich people in relation to their servants; and, of course, by parents in relation to children.
Because of the pervasive lying around us, we take lies and half truths more or less for granted in our lives. Only in very special relationships, such as when we fall in love, or when our children finally grow up, or when we speak to our therapist or minister, or when we testify under oath, do we feel that we even need to be concerned about being truthful. And usually we have lied so much that, when the time comes to tell the truth, we are more or less incapable of doing so.
Most of us know when we are telling a bold-faced lie because in a bold-faced lie there is a direct contradiction between the content of our consciousness, or what we're thinking, and what we say. But this black-and-white, direct, and conscious contradiction becomes blurred in the other forms of lies that we use in our everyday lives. In fact, the effect of lies upon our consciousness needs to be clearly understood. Lies (our own and others) are corrosive to our minds. More than just blurring our consciousness, they undermine our capacity to be effective in the world. They separate us from reality, create paranoia, invalidate our perceptions, discount our emotions, short-circuit our Adult, disorganize our thinking, dull our feelings, and ultimately can drive us mad.
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Hello,i've been away for some time,this is a thread for everyone with a mental illness,I have always been depressed,several times i contemplated suicide and even made one attempt (Saved by a friend) I am now getting professional help,I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and schizophrenia,also apparently i am an ex multiple personality disorder sufferer,which i overcame without medical help which is "A testament to my strength of mind" (Or so my shrink says) and am on the meds,my friends have been supportive,my family doesn't know and i don't plan to tell them because i can function normally anyway,this thread is for people with any mental diseases,or friends/family of anyone with mental illness or learning disability,for support because believe me,i know how tough it is.
I've been diagnosed with all kinds of mental disorders, which have subsequently been retracted. My favorite was "paranoid schizophrenia". I demanded a structured argument to support the conclusion, so I was subjected to a SCID. What they discovered is that my thinking is exceptionally "tight". Along with other assessments they determined that my reasoning capabilities lie in the "superior" range. My conclusion is that the world really is insane, I just have trouble dealing with the situation.
I have my own theory about mental disorders. Many so-called mental disorders are actually symptoms of loneliness.
Doctor To My Disease ~ Tull
I've been treated for mild depression
and I've been treated for growing pains.
I've been treated for hallucinations;
now I can see it all coming again.
Well, you can wind me up. Yeah, you can slow me down.
You can dig a little, and you can mess me around.
But there's one thing I should tell you, to which
you must agree:
There's no use you playing doctor to my disease.
Said it's no use you playing doctor to my disease.
I got no cure for this condition
that you've been causing me tonight.
Well, you put my heart in overdrive:
hand me the bullet I must bite.
You can stir me up and you can cut me down.
You can probe a little, push that knife around.
But there's one thing I should tell you, to which
you must agree:
It's no use you playing doctor to my disease.
Do you have to break my engine
so you can fix it up again?
Tuned to crazy imperfection
just to score me out of ten.
Well, you can wind me up. Yeah, you can slow me down.
You can dig a little. Yeah, you can mess me around.
But there's one thing I should tell you, to which
you must agree:
That it's no use you playing doctor to my disease.
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I think this is an FU post.
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My current addiction.
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This is something I found in Germany a long time ago. It requires expert pouring, so don't mess with it without initiated help:
http://www.tastings.com/scout_beer.lasso?id=181485
Wurzburger Hofbrau Julius Echter Hefe-Weiss Dunkel Premium.
Cloudy, deep copper brown color. Toasted pumpernickel and toffee aromas. A rich, supple, and velvety entry leads to a dryish medium-full body of banana custard, dark nutty toast, cocoa, and subtle spices. Finishes with a toasty toffeed fade with a hint of citrus rind and wet stones. Well balanced and refreshing.
WORLD BEER CHAMPIONSHIPS AWARD: Gold Medal
RATING: 90 points (Exceptional)
ALCOHOL BY VOLUME: 6.0%
CATEGORY: Weizen Dunkel, Ale
TASTING LOCATION: In Our Chicago Tasting Room
TASTING DATE: Jun-29-2007
BEER ID: 181485
We have noted the following producer or marketer for this beer:
St. Killian Importing Co., Inc.
PO Box K, 35 Elder Ave.
Kingston MA 02364
(781) 585-5165
(781) 585-8670
www.stkillianbeers.com
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I can't get her out of my blood. As soon as I start getting over her, she calls me up just to tell me she isn't interested.
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I bought a new hybrid bike.
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I'm watching a show about process analysis on The Teaching Channel. It's something I deal with a lot.
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The Wizard of Oz
That's one radical show.
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Is that the one about the 20-something guy who goes off into Alaska to live off the land?●●●●●●●●
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I recently watched Slumdog Millionaire. It was better than my high expectations predicted. The best surprise that I found is that the hero was Muslim.
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Now I am watching Washington The Warrior on The History Channel.
I love Early American History and have a bit of expertise on George Washington. I have an extensive book collection on these subjects, and am always looking for more information on my favorite historical figure. (My second favorite is Abraham Lincoln, whom I have read alot about and have a wealth of info on, too.)
Wow! I wonder if I can find that on the On Demand selection. I am a big fan of Washington.
http://www.amazon.com/Washington-Douglas-Southall-Freeman/dp/0684826372
I also have the complete Diary and Autobiography of John Adams. Adams is probably the greatest unsung hero of the American Revolution. He was not a great warrior, nor the epitome of charisma. He was an intellectual and moral leader who's deeds outweigh his reputation.
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I think my Jamaican brown sugar finally took her bottle of vodka and staggered out of my life for good.
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Maybe you can give her your new number when both of you are feeling better. In the meantime, you could call her from a neutral location and meet in a safe environment when you are feeling a little more ready. Something to consider anyway, unless you really need to make a clean break for good.
But for now you need the variety of many friends to strengthen your support system, and to take your mind off her for awhile and focus on the simple joys in life so you can at least smile.
Well, I'm getting to be good friends with her mother. But damn! Jamaican accents can be hell to follow. English IS her native language, but it's not the same English as my native language.
She really is a cool feisty lady.
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My current addiction.
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You knew from the start what you were getting involved in:
Sorry things haven't turned out better. Some people can't be saved. This woman might be one of them. You are going to feel hurt for a while to come. Proabably best if you decide whether it's over or not and then stand by your decision. Then you can take time to heal. You will know when you are ready to move on. Heartache sucks, and no matter how hard you try, often nothing will dull the pain. Only time. Even then, a true love is someone who you may always feel longing for, no matter how much time passes. But the pain does lessen.
The sad fact is some with such a strong addiction is prone to fail and since this woman seems to be out of control (and was when you met her) there's a good chance that liver disease will take her life long before getting it together ever happens. Sorry to sound abrupt, but i have seen it happen in my personal and professional life. As Fan_S said, take care of yourself.
I do wish you the best in finding happiness in the future.
Thanks for the facts. You know and I know that you are telling me what I need to hear, and what I already know. As for the liver disease. I do believe her liver is in pretty bad shape right now. She has all the symptoms of advanced liver disease. That doesn't mean it is irreversible. I've been learning a lot about this since I met her. I always thought alcoholic liver disease was a one way progression. Turns out that it is often reversible if it hasn't left permanent scarring.
Her physical condition is terrifying. Sometimes she goes into convulsions when she takes her first drink of the day. Sometimes it just happens. She is often too weak to stand up on her own, and will sleep all day, even when not drinking.
She knows something is terribly wrong with her, but she refuses to acknowledge that it's from her drinking.
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Try to think about something else for awhile.
Let a few weeks go by before you give her your new phone number.
Give yourself some time to rejuvenate before you engage her once more.
See others during this time and enjoy their company. Maybe you'll meet someone who can refer your girlfriend to a therapist. You cannot carry the whole load alone.
I'm not one for "seeing other women". As for not thinking about her. I try not to, but that doesn't even matter. Even when I'm not thinking about her, I'm feeling bad.
Bier
in Ramble On
Posted · Edited by Atlas
I do like Sam Adams. It redefined American beer...for the better.