Speed Racer
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Posts posted by Speed Racer
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From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
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Whiskey Bottle...Bad Company
Whiskey bar - The Doors
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This Time...Bryan Adams
Time In A Bottle - Jim Croce
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Time and Time Again...Counting Crows
Time Is On My Side - Rolling Stones
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Drunk In A Bar
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”
“Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.
The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”
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If You Really Love Me...Stevie Wonder
Love Stinks - J. Geils Band
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Babe I'm Gonna Leave You...Led Zeppelin
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
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Phone calls from happy people made me happy today!
Stay happy, it's healthier.
Always let the under toe know what the right toe is doing!
:lol:
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The Story In Your Eyes...Moody Blues
Your Time Is Gonna Come - LZ
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Blood on the Rooftops...Genesis
The Enchanter - Robert Plant
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My girlfriend is out in the car
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.
He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.
"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.
"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!
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The Last Time...The Rolling Stones
Time Is On My Side - Rolling Stones
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The Last Resort...The Eagles
Last - Nine Inch Nails
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The Fly...U2
The Loner - Neil Young
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lol...
Learning To Fly...Pink Floyd
Fly - Nickelback
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From Yesterday...30 Seconds to Mars (singer: Jared Leto )
I Learned From You - Hannah Montana
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That Was Yesterday...Foreigner
Yesterday - Paul Mcartney
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Who keeps saying those things?
A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.
A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.
When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.
The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts--they're complimentary."
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I Got A Feeling...The Beatles
That Old Feeling - Vogues
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Got To Get You Into My Life...The Beatles
I Got A Woman - The Impeccable Mr Ray Charles
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Oh Darling...The Beatles
Oh My Darling Clementine - Cynthia Vance
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Time Is On My Side...The Rolling Stones
Oh My My - Ringo Star
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In My Life...The Beatles
In My Time Of Dieing - LZ
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Going For The One...YES
For Your Life - LZ
Beautiful Women
in Ramble On
Posted · Edited by Speed Racer
NP
Here's what I'm talking about