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Evster2012

The Monty Python Thread

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Bloody Romans!!

REG:

Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

XERXES:

The aqueduct?

REG:

What?

XERXES:

The aqueduct.

REG:

Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3:

And the sanitation.

LORETTA:

Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?

REG:

Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.

MATTHIAS:

And the roads.

REG:

Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads--

COMMANDO:

Irrigation.

XERXES:

Medicine.

COMMANDOS:

Huh? Heh? Huh...

COMMANDO #2:

Education.

COMMANDOS:

Ohh...

REG:

Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1:

And the wine.

COMMANDOS:

Oh, yes. Yeah...

FRANCIS:

Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

COMMANDO:

Public baths.

LORETTA:

And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

FRANCIS:

Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this.

COMMANDOS:

Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

REG:

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

XERXES:

Brought peace.

REG:

Oh. Peace? Shut up!

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"Yes, but what have the Romans ever done for us?"

I occasionally use that as a rebuttal in conversation and I am always amused by the looks of pity I get. (Poor man. Imagine what his wife's got to put up with.)

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I've only seen one Monty Python movie. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Any ideas for another?

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I've only seen one Monty Python movie. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Any ideas for another?

Oh, Definitely. "Life of Brian". But you've got to REALLY hate the Romans.

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Oh YES !!! Life of Brian my favourite movie of all time !!! My old dad and I recite this film word for word all the time since oh God 1980ish !!!!

BEN .. You LUCKY bastard!

BRIAN.. (spins around and peers into the gloom) Who's that?

BEN.. (In the darkness BRIAN just makes out an emaciated figure, suspended on the wall, with his feet off the ground, by chains round his wrists. This is BEN.) You lucky, lucky bastard.

BRIAN.. What?

BEN... (with great bitterness) Proper little jailor's pet, aren't we?

BRIAN.. (ruffled) What do you mean?

BEN.. You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh?

BRIAN... Slipped him a few shekels!? You saw him spit in my face!

BEN ... Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang awake at nights dreaming of being spat in the face.

great thread :D

I could go on lol !! Stones sir ??

No they are lying hot all overr the ground !!

Edited by leddy

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"Making it worse? How could it get any worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!"

Right who threw that stone ???

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"Welease ... Bwodewick!"

Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face !!!

Didn't Zep and Floyd help finance this film,, yes they did !!

Edited by leddy

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I've only seen one Monty Python movie. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Any ideas for another?

If you mean suggestions for other movies to check out, Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life, as well as Live at the Hollywood Bowl.

If you're suggesting ideas for another movie, without Graham Chapman, never.

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I may have seen part of the Life of Brian, I"m not really sure. I'll have to check those movies out soon. I love Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

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FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

You're right there, Obadiah.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

A cup o' cold tea.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Without milk or sugar.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Or tea.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

In a cracked cup, an' all.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, 'e was right.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, 'e was.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Cardboard box?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

ALL:

They won't!

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I've only seen one Monty Python movie. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Any ideas for another?

I remember showing the dvd of Holy Grail to my son for the first time, thinking I hope he has the same sense of humour as me ??

The opening sequence of them preteding to be on horses while they hit coconuts for the hoof noise, my son was wetting himself, I knew then he was my son :)

Python related but Fawlty towers has to be the best sitcom of all time !!

Edited by leddy

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I know George Harrison had to do with the funding for the movie.

Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, you don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for yourselves! You're ALL individuals!

The Crowd (in unison): Yes! We're all individuals!

Brian: You're all different!

The Crowd (in unison): Yes, we ARE all different!

Man in Crowd: I'm not...

The Crowd: Shhh!

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Life of Brian the "I was blind and now I can see bit" !!!

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I remember seeing seeing it for the first time. My dad already knew I was his kid because I was Zep-obsessed. (Still am.) I love the part where God comes out and yells at them, and then the angel play the horns. That's great. I laugh just thinking about it.

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Anyone for a Waldorf Salad??

No but how about a Ritz sald ?? :)

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Hey, arm tattoo guy, what was your name on the old board? Methinks I know you! ;)

No, I wasn't on the old one, I just joined this one a couple days ago. I'm not much for this type of thing and I'm still suprised that there are so many like minded people out there. I know, born in a cave.

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I know George Harrison had to do with the funding for the movie.

Zep help funded Holy Grail.

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Or lashings of hot screwdriver???

Was that from that scene ?? I should know as I have them ??

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Yes, Zeppelin and Floyd contributed funds for the movie. Robert even made Python references during shows in 1975. George Harrison set up Handmade Films to produce Life of Brian when EMI pulled out of the project.

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