This guy walks into a bar with a monkey by his side, the bartender says hey you can't come in here with that monkey!
The guy says it's ok he won't be any trouble. So the guy pulls up a stool to the bar, sits down to have a beer and the monkey sits on the stool next to him.
Well a couple people rack up the billards and break.
Suddenly the monkey leaps from the stool and on to the table, grabs the cue ball and sticks it in his mouth and swallows it.
The bartender tells him to take his monkey and leave.
A couple weeks pass and the same guy comes back to the bar with the monkey.
The bartender says I told you not to come back in here with that monkey.
Guy says don't worry he won't be a problem I promise.
So the guy is sitting and drinking his beer and gives the monkey some peanuts to eat.
The monkey takes the peanuts and one at a time he reaches around and puts the peanuts to his butt and then eats the peanut.
After awhile the bartender says to the guy what is that monkey doing with those peanuts?
The guy says he's checking for size!