I miss her so much that it's making me physically ill. I'm weak. My hands are pale and shaky, and my body aches. Not to mention that I can't think straight. I wish I could just hate her. It would be so much easier.

Are you suggesting that my strategy of drinking her off my mind is ill-conceived?

I changed the number on my phone so the girl I love can't call. She is too messed up to live with. That doesn't stop me from caring about her and wanting to be with her. I miss her terribly, but I have to get her out of my life. I'll see how well I do. She has a power over me that no woman ever had before. Every time I swear I'll never see her again, she calls, and I come running. She has a key to my apartment, but it's a long way off the beaten path for her. I suspect she won't come out here if she doesn't have a way to contact me first. It's hard for me to be angry with her, or hold her in contempt for the mean and crazy things she does. She drinks herself to sleep and wakes up screaming from nightmares about her past. Considering the rocky road she was forced to tread in her youth, she has accomplished incredible things in her life. It's heartrending to see her so broken and lost after falling from such heights. She used to work in the the White House Communication Office writing letters for the President, and that's just a sample.

For those who might have wondered.

For the second time: Just finished:

I watched someone whom I have come to love puking blood due to her excessive drinking. When I tried to get her to go the emergency room, she took off and vanished.

How do you feel about Catcher in the Rye?

Gimme Shelter ~ Stones

Stormwatch ~ Tull

Really Got A Hold On Me ~ Smokey Robinson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ifTCGxU8wM

Take Another Little Piece of My Heart ~ Janis

I saw a rainbow.

Shining in the Light ~ Page/Plant

I was reinstated on the dc911truth mailing list! I thought I might have been subtly banned, but I was just jumping the gun. I'm banned from about a dozen such groups. It's frekin scary to be too radical for the radicals. Especially when I'm just doing with makes sense to me.

Heart of Gold ~ Neil Young

Heart in your Hand ~ Page/Plant

I Am ~ Moody Blues

What a Fool Believes ~ Doobies

Never Die ~ Malmsteen

Never been to Spain ~ Three Dog Night

Ten Years Gone ~ Zeppelin

Good Times, Bad Times ~ Zeppelin You knew that was coming too.

How Many More Times ~ Zeppelin