Sounds like most of my dates. ~666

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not THAT ugly and loserish. I can't believe that people ignore you. You probably just make people shy because you are so pretty and charming and junk. I wish I was pretty and charming like you. Maybe I wouldn't be so lonely. Girl's hate me. And all I want is for a pretty girl to be my friend. ~666

DUDE. What if, like, the universe was like an atom ... and we were like a tiny piece of someone's great big humongous butt? And, like, all the ghosts were, like, a fart? Like, when we die we just become universe farts? DUDE! I'M SO TRIPPING RIGHT NOW ON THAT. ~666

I don't know why. You have it all! You're pretty and fashionable and smart and junk. If you ever feel bad, just think of how ugly and loserish I am. You'll automatically feel better. ~666

Ok. I'd like that. Thanks for making me feel better. Even though you are just saying that to be nice ... because you pity me. ~666

Sleepless in Seattle is good. I like that Titanic movie, too ... and You've Got Mail. Porky's has chicks in it too. I like that one. ~666

Thank you. OK ... but I'm shy in front of pretty girls. So maybe we can listen to Buddy Holly in different rooms so you don't have to look at me ... and I won't be nervous in front of you. ~666

Ok. *sniff* I like brownies. And movies with chicks in them. I watch them sometimes on the interweb late at night. ~666

I can't help that I'm not handsome. I try to be nice to girls ... but they just laugh at me and tell me I'm a loser. I wish a girl would like me for who I really am. I guess I just suck. ~666

*sniff* Yes. Girls don't like me ... and I'm lonely. ~666

You people need to quit eating shrooms. ~666

I'll take that, Mandelson. Yes. ~666

There was a simple and little Hindu priest who lived in Mathura. Once he had the chance to go visit the Pope at the Vatican in Italy. After traveling to the Vatican, he walked up the steps and through the halls of the opulent building where the Pope stayed. He looked in awe at the beautiful marble floors and majestic columns. Then he came into the Pope’s office and he greeted the Pope who was seated behind his desk. The little Hindu priest sat nearby and they exchanged pleasantries. Then the Hindu priest noticed a red phone sitting at the end of the desk. So the Hindu priest asked what it was. “Oh, that’s my hotline to God,” replied the Pope. “Whenever things get too difficult and I need to have a personal talk with God, I give Him a call.” “Oh,” said the priest. “Would you mind if I tried it?” “No, not at all,” the Pope responded. So the little Hindu priest picked up the phone, dialed the number, and sure enough, he got through to God. So he offered his respects and prayers, said he was very happy to talk to Him, and then hung up the phone after only five minutes. He was a simple priest and did not have much more to say to God. He then thanked the Pope for the privilege of using the special red phone. The Pope replied, “Oh that is quite all right. By the way, that will be $75.” “Seventy-five dollars?” inquired the Hindu priest. “Oh yes,” said the Pope. “You know, long distance charges. It’s a long way from here to God, you know.” So the priest pulled out his wallet and gave the pope the seventy-five dollars. Several months later, the Pope had the opportunity to visit India, and it was arranged for him to come to Mathura and visit the little Hindu priest. So the Pope approached the little hut of the Hindu priest, ducking his head as he walked through the door. He sat in a chair in front of the little table where the Hindu priest was pleased to again meet the Pope. They exchanged greetings when the Pope noticed the same kind of red phone on the priest’s table as he had at the Vatican. So the Pope asked what that was. “Why, I also have a hotline to God,” replied the Hindu priest. “Do you mind if I use it?” asked the Pope. “I really have a lot on my mind.” “Please do,” responded the priest. So the Pope got on the phone and got a good connection and managed to get through to God. He offered his prayers, but then had many things to discuss. He talked about the trouble in the Vatican, the difficulties with the priests and legal charges in the United States, the changing attitudes of the congregation in England and Europe, and so on. Fifteen minutes went by, then a half-hour, then finally after nearly an hour he was able to put the phone down. Then he said, “Thank you very much. I feel a lot better now. I had so much to talk about. By the way, how much will that be?” The Hindu priest thought a moment and then said, “Two rupees.” “What,” the Pope replied, surprised at how inexpensive it was. “Why so cheap?” “Why don’t you know?” asked the little Hindu priest. “Here it is a local call.” ~

Chai. With lots of black pepper and ginger. 'cause that's how I roll. Bitch. ~666

Well ... call me sissy! Guilty as charged! I like all that romantic shit ... you know, all telling some bitch that's she's pretty and her hair is like flaxen gold ... or whatever hair dye color she uses. And I'm really into doing romantic shit like getting her a wine cooler when she asks for one so she'll get all sloppy drunk and romantic too ... you know, like "fucking" romantic ... and, like, doing her feet like she's some goddess and shit because that makes chicks horny and whatnot. And candles. Bitches like candles. Particularly scented candles ... 'cause it makes them less embarassed when you have to do their smelly feet. I like to play my guitar for them too; singing sensitive shit that I made up ... and telling them I wrote it for them ... cause I'm romantic like that, and sweet. And it makes them all, like, in love with me enough to let me touch their boobs when we make out. I'll open car doors and shit ... you know like all gentlemanly like ... cause I'm really a respectful guy towards bitches ... 'cause women really like to think they are respected. It makes them horny. You see, it's easy to make chicks horny and want to let you see their fat-asses naked ... you just gotta be romantic. Like me. ~666

I have a friendly energy In my pants. ~666

Just a fun intermission ... straight from Yemen: There must be violence against women -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By: Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy majed_thabet@hotmail.com THE YEMEN TIMES This title may sound strange, but it's actually not just a way to attract readers to the topic because I really do mean what it indicates. Violence is a broad term, especially when used regarding women. In this piece, I want to shed light on those instances where violence against women is a must. First, we should know the meaning of the word violence. Longman’s Dictionary of Contemporary English defines violence as behavior that is intended to hurt other people physically. However, the term violence mustn't be confused with other concepts and terms such as gender inequality or absence of women rights. Occasionally if not daily we hear about events occurring in Islamic and Arab societies. Some human rights organizations recently have attacked violent acts against women, standing against any type of violence even that between a father and daughter – and citing the cases of some women as examples. Consequently, they offer solutions such as complaining to the police, taking revenge or leaving them men, who are either their husbands, fathers or brothers with no exceptions. One such case involved a woman whose husband allegedly had beaten her. Without revealing the husband’s reasons for doing so, such human rights organizations immediately urged the wife to complain to the police and the courts, while at the same time generalizing the instance and other similar solutions to any type of violence. If a man and woman are husband and wife, the Quran provides solutions, firstly reaffirming any logical and acceptable reasons for such punishment. These solutions are in gradual phases and not just for women, but for men also. For men, it begins with abandoning the marital bed, by opting to sleep elsewhere in the house. After this, they may discuss the matter with any respected person for the husband’s or the wife's family, who could be in a position to advise the wife. If this also does not work, then the husband yields to beating the wife slightly. They do this because of a misunderstanding in the Quran, as the word says Darban, which is commonly understood today as beating. However, in Classic Arabic it means to set examples or to announce and proclaim. The more accurate meaning of this last one is that the husband finally has to set forth, to make a clear statement or proclamation, and if these measures fail, then divorce is preferable. NOTE: This is a false statement. Qur'an 4:34 tells men to beat their disobedient wives after first warning them and then sending them to sleep in separate beds. It is worth noting how several translators render the key part of this verse, وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ, waidriboohunna. Similarly, wives may take actions such as abandoning the marital bed, following by leaving the husband's home for that of their parents, brothers or any other relatives. They may do this more than once, but if such action fails, they may not continue to live with their husband and via their relatives, they may request a divorce. Despite such instructions, beating is considered a type of violence, according to human rights organizations, which urge women to complain to the police. I just wonder what kind of families our societies would have if Muslim women started doing this regarding their husbands. Relationships between fathers and daughters or sisters and brothers also provoke argument from human rights organizations, which propose the suggested solutions for all relationships. Personally, I don't think fathers or brothers would undertake such behavior unless there was a reason for it. Fathers are responsible for their daughters behavior, but human rights organizations deny this too. Brothers also should take action regarding their sisters’ behavior, especially if their parents are too old or dead. If a daughter or sister makes a mistake – especially a moral one – that negatively affects the entire family and its reputation, what’s the solution by such organizations? According to them, women should complain to the courts about any type of violence against them. Likewise, should fathers and brothers complain to police if their daughters or sisters violate moral, Islamic or social norms? Fathers should handle their daughters via any means that suits their mistake; thus, is it better to use violence to a certain limit or complain to the police? Shall such women then complain to the police against their fathers or brothers? It's really amazing to hear this. In some cases, violence is necessary, but there must be limits. Those “good human rights organizations don't make any exceptions in their solutions because their aim is to serve society. Will it be a better society once we see wives, mothers, sisters and daughters going from one police station and one court to another, complaining against their husbands, fathers, brothers and even sons? As the proverb goes, If the speaker is mad, the listener should be mindful. This proverb is good advice for every man and woman not only to keep their ears open, but also to avoid the misleading propaganda of such organizations, whose surface aims hide other destructive ones to destroy society's religious, social and moral norms. This matter requires consideration. Dear readers especially women don't think that I hate or am against women; rather, I simply mean to preserve the morals and principles with which Islam has honored us. I hope my message is clear, since it's really quite relevant to the future of our societies, which must be protected from any kind of cultural invasion. WELCOME TO CONTEMPORARY ISLAMIC CULTURE ~666

I'm wondering how all this is beating me at my own game? I didn't even realize I had a game. haha. Yeah I do. You all are dumbasses. NO ONE CAN BEAT ME AT MY OWN GAME. I. AM. IRON. MAN. SUCKERS. ~666

DON'T YOU DUMBASSES KNOW IT WAS JUST A PLASTIC DINOSAUR FLOATING ON A TOY BOAT? ~666

WHAAA...? ~666

You can hang with my nuts .... .... and then boing the chub. I mean join the club. ~666

... only you ... face down ... with an empty glass of absinthe laying beside you. ~666

Almond Joy's got nuts ... Mandymounds don't. How much for a nutjob? I only have 20 bucks. Fluffernutter ... a pricktease with a happy ending. I don't have a nut ... wanna screw? ~666

I can't believe all you idiots were fooled by some dude in a gorilla suit! ~666

Yes is was Gio. You were just too drunk on absinthe to know any better... ~666