Sathington Willoughby Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Two dyslexics walk into a bra... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greengrass Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Ah, yes! Here's to the wonderfully deceptive art of grammar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 (edited) Yep, it's April Fools' Day and being the goofball that I am, I really do feel like celebrating! Here's me being silly and politically incorrect! This meme really got me! Excuse my weird humour folks! It's all in good fun! Edited April 1, 2016 by Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sathington Willoughby Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 1 hour ago, Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 said: Yep, it's April Fools' Day and being the goofball that I am, I really do feel like celebrating! Here's me being silly and politically incorrect! This meme really got me! Excuse my weird humour folks! It's all in good fun! Sounds awfully familiar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houses of the Holy Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 LOL. This is the verbiage of the folks in my white-bred town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 23 hours ago, Sathington Willoughby said: Sounds awfully familiar! Ah, yes! We both know a lovely man who epitomizes that meme perfectly, don't we, Sath? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 10 hours ago, Houses of the Holy said: LOL. This is the verbiage of the folks in my white-bred town. That's good to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marlam Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Rules Of The Blues 1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..." 2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town." 3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound." 4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out. 5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die. 6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis. 7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain. 8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is. 9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster. 10. Good places for the Blues: a. Highway b. Jailhouse c. An empty bed d. Bottom of a whiskey glass 11. Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom's b. Gallery openings c. Ivy league institutions d. Golf courses 12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it. 13. You have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You older than dirt b. You blind c. You shot a man in Memphis d. You can't be satisfied 14. You don't have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You have all your teeth b. You were once blind but now can see c. The man in Memphis lived d. You have a pension fund 15. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues. 16. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues 17. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. Cheap wine b. Whiskey or bourbon c. Muddy water d. Nasty black coffee 18. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a. Perrier b. Chardonnay c. Snapple d. Slim Fast 19. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broke-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction. 20. Some Blues names for women: a. Sadie b. Big Mama c. Bessie d. Fat River Dumpling 21. Some Blues names for men: a. Joe b. Willie c. Little Willie d. Big Willie 22. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. 23. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.) b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Melon, Kiwi, etc.) c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.") 24. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues. Source : http://www.outliermusic.com/jokes_rulesoftheblues.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles J. White Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Ironic that Bill is in trouble for this kind of thing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sathington Willoughby Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sathington Willoughby Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 1 hour ago, paul carruthers said: Conan used to be so funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) I would have done the exact same thing as this poor old gentleman, if my significant other had forced me to attend a Beyoncé concert with her! Edited May 7, 2016 by Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sathington Willoughby Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 1 hour ago, paul carruthers said: BTW I don't remember that George Clinton line being in the original, must be a special extended edition or something? This one has extra lines too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) Edited May 17, 2016 by paul carruthers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sathington Willoughby Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greengrass Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 When i had found out they came up with a cure for dyslexia , it was like music to my arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Boy! Those comment symbols sure come in handy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greengrass Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Ouch My neighbor came knocking at my door at 2:30 this morning. Can you believe that?.... 2:30 in the morning? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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