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Posted (edited)

THE UNITED STATES is due to launch an air offensive against an unstoppable menace of deadly invaders on the Pacific island of Guam. The tropical island, site of a US air base since the Second World War, is a popular destination with honeymooning Japanese couples.

The US Air Force plans to pound the island with dead mice laced with poison in order to stem the invasion by TWO MILLION snakes.

Brown tree snakes first arrived on Guam aboard US military ships as the superpower established a presence on the strategically-positioned island in the South Pacific following its recapture from occupying Japanese forces in 1944. The snakes have since decimated the local birdlife, whose ground and tree-nesting habits made them easy prey.

The jungle-based snakes, whose bite is harmful to humans, but not lethal, have found their way into areas of human habitation. However, a much greater worry is that, as the USAF’s Andersen Air Force Base is surrounded by snake-friendly foliage, the serpents could easily hitch a ride to Hawaii. With the genuine risk of a real ‘snakes on a plane’ scenario, the islands, 3000 miles away from Guam, are on high alert. The damage caused by a snake invasion to Hawaii’s tourist industry has been estimated at a whopping two billion dollars.

Amid fears of reprisals on US citizens, the USAF is set to launch a pre-emptive strike to inflict maximum collateral damage on Guam’s tree-hugging army. It is hoped that this shock and awe tactic will curb the foreign ambitions of the reptilian force and avoid the need to scale up the attack with a ground invasion of ‘Planet of the Snakes’.

If being overrun by snakes weren’t enough, Guam also suffers from an extraordinarily high population of spiders, which thrive in the absence of birds and other predators. Meanwhile the waters surrounding Guam boast one of the densest populations of sharks in the world. Despite this, the island is much-loved by Japanese couples taking their honeymoon. The effect of toxic mice on Guam’s tourist industry is as yet unknown.

Edited by weslgarlic
Posted

WTF?? :huh:

You sure do post some wacky stuff on this board weslgarlic.

I thought America like the UK and elsewhere was making cut backs , yet they find cash for stuff like this ?
Posted

Oh God!!!!!! ........ That ^^^^^ is almost as bad as a Rick Roll.

In fact, it may even be worse.

aarrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Perhaps...a toss up!

Posted

Brown tree snakes have been a problem on Guam for years. Still, the idea of using toxic mice to kill them troubles me. Mind you, I'm not worried about the snakes as much as I'm worried about unintended consequences. What if other animals eat the mice? Also, didn't the US military import mongooses several years ago to reduce the number of snakes only to have the mongooses eat the same birds the snakes were eating because they were easier prey than brown snakes.

Posted

:hysterical: That's so bad it's hilarious!

Much more bizarre than this thread's actual topic....and that is as weird as can be!

Just don't tell anyone you know, you actually watched that video! If your married....guaranteed divorce!

Funny, as that was the first video I ever saved to my favorites on You TUbe many years ago. It was when YT first began and a friend told me about the site, which had just started and sent me that video. Too funny! Must have been around 2006, I'm guessing.

Posted

One things for sure, I won't be going to Guam ...EVER !

One things for sure, I won't be going to Guam ...EVER !

Me too. Where in the hell is Gaun anyway? Ha. They should do the same in the Florida everglades to get rid of those damn Pythons. Winter sure does have some up sides.

Posted

My sister has lived on Guam since the 50's. I'm sure she's not too fond of the slithering slitherers. :^)

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