Rock Action Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience? 'The kid says, 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota" Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did'. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How many customers bought something from you today?' The kid says, 'One'. The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for? 'The kid says '$101,237.65'. The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell? 'The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition. 'The boss said, 'A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK???!!! 'The kid said, 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing........' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PennyLane Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience? 'The kid says, 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota" Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did'. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How many customers bought something from you today?' The kid says, 'One'. The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for? 'The kid says '$101,237.65'. The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell? 'The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition. 'The boss said, 'A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK???!!! 'The kid said, 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing........' You made by day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroselambra~ Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 a young boy walks in on his mom & dad having sex in the bedroom "what are you doing mommy" he says "trying to make a baby sweetheart" his mom replies the little boy looks at her and says... "well do it doggy style coz I want a puppy" caroselambra~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 a young boy walks in on his mom & dad having sex in the bedroom "what are you doing mommy" he says "trying to make a baby sweetheart" his mom replies the little boy looks at her and says... "well do it doggy style coz I want a puppy" caroselambra~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adi Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience? 'The kid says, 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota" Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did'. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How many customers bought something from you today?' The kid says, 'One'. The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for? 'The kid says '$101,237.65'. The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell? 'The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition. 'The boss said, 'A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK???!!! 'The kid said, 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing........' it's a good one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L 7 Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Zilch There was a guy named Zilch who was always last in everything, so he decided to join the Army. When they were passing out rifles Zilch was last and they were out of rifles. The sergeant told him, "If you ever get into combat, just go bangity bang bang". When they were passing out grenades, Zilch was last. Out again The sergeant told him, "If you ever get into combant, just go boomity boom boom". When they were passing out bayonets, Zilch was last, no luck The sergeant told him, "If you ever get into combat just go stabity stab stab". Sure enough Zilch was in combat and he charged yelling bangity bang bag, the enemy fell in droves. Zilch threw some grenades, boomity boom boom, the enemy again fell, Stabity stab stab, they fell. Then Zilch saw one ememy coming towards him bangity bang bang, stabity stab stab, boomity boom boom. Nothing worked. The last thing poor Zilch heard was...TANKITY TANK TANK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroselambra~ Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 A man was listening to the radio when reports of a woman driving on the wrong side of the freeway came in. Concerned for his wife who was driving home at the time, he rang her on her cellphone to warn her. "Darling" he said "be careful - there is a car driving on the wrong side of the freeway!" "It's okay hun - I know" she replied "But there's not one car - there's hundreds of them" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shankly Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 A girl is in a bar and she starts talking to a bloke who is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a tractor on it. They get on well and he takes her back to his house. There is a tractor parked outside and when she goes in, there are posters of tractors on the walls and model tractors everywhere. He has back copies of 'What tractor weekly' on the coffee table. They go to bed and when he undresses he has a big tattoo of a tractor on his chest. Despite all of this, the relationship continues and eventually he asks her to marry him. She agrees, but on the condition that he gets rid of all of the tractor memorabilia. Because he loves her, he agrees to do this. He redecorates the house, bins all of his posters and models, cancels his subscription to his magazines and even has laser treatment to remove his tattoo and they get married. 6 months later, they are returning home from a night out when they see that their house is on fire. 'Quick, call the fire brigade' she says, but he says 'No' and he starts to breath in deeply - all of the smoke and flames are sucked away from the house and eventually, the fire goes out. 'How did you do that?' she says. 'Oh - I'm an ex tractor fan' he replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroselambra~ Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn't get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with his hands 2. He had wine with his meals 3. He used olive oil But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut his hair 2. He walked around barefoot all the time 3. He started a new religion But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature 2. He ate a lot of fish 3. He talked about the Great Spirit But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrum Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Knock! Knock! Who's there? Madame! Madame who? Madame foot's caught in the door! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 How do you know when it's time to wash the dishes and clean the house? Look in your pants, if there's a penis in there it ain't time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Hartman Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Led Zeppelin - D'yer Maker http://www.jibjab.com/view/221424 (Please note it is from JibJab) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 How do you know when it's time to wash the dishes and clean the house? Look in your pants, if there's a penis in there it ain't time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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