Jarlaxle 56 Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 So, I just found out a good friend of mine died today from a car crash on Friday. Now, I'm kind of in shock, but her boyfriend is also a good friend of mine. I could use some advice on what to do when I see him, and also to deal with the shock, as this is basically (apart from my grandparents) the first time someone close to me has died. Anyone have any good advice for me? It would really help me here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzldoc Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 For starters, I know it sounds simple but it means more than you can imagine. Anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeepBlackZeppelin Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Let him speak Let him speak about what's on his mind. Make the environment comfortable enough for him to speak. If it needs to be, let it be silent at first. Let him sort it out himself. Just be very gentle when asking to speak it out. Everyone needs a good talking session, with the Kleenex box, because it's a huge, huge, huge, part of grieving and coping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarlaxle 56 Posted December 8, 2008 Author Share Posted December 8, 2008 Thanks, I don't know what's going to happen, but I guess that's all I really can do. I can't even imagine how awful he feels right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeppFanForever Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 So, I just found out a good friend of mine died today from a car crash on Friday. Now, I'm kind of in shock, but her boyfriend is also a good friend of mine. I could use some advice on what to do when I see him, and also to deal with the shock, as this is basically (apart from my grandparents) the first time someone close to me has died. Anyone have any good advice for me? It would really help me here... How's it going "Jarlaxle?" My condolences in your loss of your dear friend. I have lost so many dear friends in my lifetime and buried them. I also lost and buried my late wife who lost her battle to Cancer which leaves me a widower with a daughter. It is a very painful process. For starters, a great cry is good. When you see your late girlfriend's boyfriend, sharing a few tears is also good. Being there for each other and sharing the good times is also beneficial. John Lennon once said after his manager Brian Epstein died in 1967, that we should remember the good things about our late loved ones because any good thoughts that we have of them will travel to them where ever they are. I always remembered that saying by John Lennon and it has helped me in a way in dealing with all of my dearest friends' as well as my late wife's death. You never really forget nor do you get over the fact that your loved ones has passed on but time does heal. Life does go on. ROCK ON! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 i'm so sad for you right now. how awful. i would say to just be there for him. just make yourself available, let him know that you can be contacted 24/7. and don't forget about yourself.....it was your friend who passed, as you said , you are in shock now, and may be for quite awhile. it's usually not untill after the funeral and the next few weeks that reality sets in. when it does, be prepared for another wave of grief. and it is stronger than the first, imo. i've lost both parents, many relatives, a baby and some close friends, it never gets easier, but time does do it's thing. i am sending good vibes to you at this time. xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I'm so very sorry for your loss I think DBZ gave good advice. Also, if your school offers counseling support, please don't hesitate to go if you feel you need to. With deepest sympaties, V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarlaxle 56 Posted December 8, 2008 Author Share Posted December 8, 2008 I just talked to him on MSN, we didn't really say much. I said how sorry I am, apparently the school will have grief councelling available... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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