Good for you 'Broken Levee', all the best in your endeavours to quit, just get that song "I cant quit you babe" out of your head and I'm sure you will. What made me happy today, me Misses got her new phone, a Sony Ericsson W995, and i put all me Led Zeppelin Music on it, me Misses says to tell you that she allowed me to put me music on it as she rules the roost in this house. Regards, Danny

Loves young dream. :hysterical: :hysterical: Here's hoping, good luck. Regards, Danny

One day you'll wake up dead mate, give it up, you know it makes sense. Regards, Danny

Hi Janet, Can you confirm which one please? I do know that his "Birthday Suit" isn't on show anymore since he found it impossible to get out all the wrinkles and creases. Regards, Danny

Hi 'Lunacy' I noticed that too, the sweat gave it away for me. Regards, Danny PS, I'm not gay either, but i am in touch with my Feminine side, and front, and rear, to say nothing for my DDs.

Hi 'Amusedoxi' I think Keith could be confused over almost anything, like with Ronny Wood, the Drugs and Alcohol have played their part and have given them both a short cut to senility. Regards, Danny PS, "Robert Who? no that's Roger init?

Hi Keith, Was that interview before or after you fell out of the tree? And as for you saying Robert Plant's voice got on your nerves, how did you stay with that toilet lipped twat Jagger for over 40 years? now either your deaf or brain dead, or both. Regards, Danny

A man walks in to a vets and says, "Doctor, my dogs gone cross eyed" So the vet picks up the dog, looks in to the dogs eyes and says, "I'm afraid I'll have to put him down" The man says, "But why, just because his gone cross eyed" The vet says, "No, because his too bloody heavy"

A man walks in to a bar with a steering wheel between his legs, The barman says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel between your legs" The man says, "I know, and its driving me NUTS"

Hi Ally, Yes please do, i just gotta see you in Tartan mate. Regards, Danny PS, How bout a new topic? "How you looked as a baby"

Hi 'ledzepfvr' What do you mean "Were"? And as for my Cheeks, i thought they were covered. Regards, Danny

Hi All, I know you have all waited with baited breath to see a photo of the most sort after member on the forum, so sorry to disappoint, but you'll just have to make do with me wont you. Now you can see why the girls have been swooning over me for so long cant you? And did you notice I'm wearing a Dress, the cross dresser that i am. Regards, Danny

After no dates or sex for five years a woman goes to see a Chinese Expert Sex Therapist, Dr Chang. Dr Chang says "Take off all yr croase, get down on all fours and craw reery reery fas to over side room" She does. Dr Chang says "OK, craw reery reery fas bac" As she did Dr Chang shook his head. Dr Chang says "Yr probrem is vewy vewy bad, worse case of "Ed Zackary Disease" i ever saw, dat why u get no man" She says "Oh God, whats Ed Zackary Disease?" Dr Chang says "Its when your face look "Ed Zackary" like yr arse"

Hi 'brspled' Sorry, I can't see the family resemblance. Regards, Danny

A Black Dude is talking to a White Guy at the Prison where he resides sometimes, and the conversation goes like this. White Guy. "Hi ya Coloured fellon, how's it hangin?" Black Dude. "Coloured? Coloured? You's turns RED with embarrasement, BLUE when you get too cold, YELLOW when your a coward, GREEN with envy, BROWN in the sun, PURPLE when your pissed, WHITE with fright, BLACK and BLUE when your bruised, GREY when your ill, ORANGE when you use the sun bed, and you have the nerve to call me COLOURED?"

Hi All, especiallyyou KB, I have finally stopped the drip under the bathroom sink, 25 years after it started. The whole family are totally amazed and impressed, instead of using the old ways of Solder, PTFE Tape, Compression Joints, i finally gave in to the New Technology and used "Copper Push Fit Components" and they worked first time. Expensive, but like spending money on the wife, worth it in the long run, i wish i had learned my lesson years ago so as i could have spent less time sleeping on the couch with the dog. My next job is to fix a shower curtain to a slanted wall, any ideas? KB? wad d'ya say? anticipation. Regards, Danny

Hi All, "Who'D 'a' thought it" i just love this commercial, and the pub featured in it, the "Who'D 'a' thought it", it is just up the road from where i live, "Who'D 'a' thought it" hey, its in Timbercroft Lane Plumstead SE18, and nowhere near Plymouth. Regards, Danny "GREEN ARMY"

Hi 'spidersandsnakes' Don't get your hopes up too much, turns out shes an Irish Lesbian, you know? Gaelic. Taken from http://en.wikipedia....ki/Samantha_Fox "But I can't keep saying, 'Maybe,' or denying it. It is time to let people know where my heart is. People keep trying to say I'm a lesbian. I don't know what I am. All I know is that I'm in love with Myra [stratton, her manager]. I love her completely and want to spend the rest of my life with her." Samantha (wiley old) Fox, and you all thought she was a Vixen. Regards, Danny

Hi Connyfogle, Satan is the Old Dyslexic way of spelling Santa. Regards, Danny

You talking about the Pies or the Sausage Rolls 'danelectro59' or what? Regards, Danny

Two blind fish swim in to a wall, one said to the other "DAM".

Q. What cheese can you hide a horse in? A. "Mascarpone"

What do you call a Scouser in a suit? The accused.

Hi 'hf21' Not meaning to nit pick but Robert did sometimes introduces Bonzo as "130lbs of Glory", could this be his "Morning Glory" an ailment many men suffer from when young and horny, and some old men too, err so I'm told. Regards, Danny PS, I'm trying to visualise a 130lb "Morning Glory" but i seem to keep passing out due to the lack of blood to my brain, anyone have any ideas?

"Exhaust Gas"