solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Question lines are open all night. Caller, where you from and what can I do for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Bonnie~ Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Dear Solar, A few weeks ago I had a get-together at my house, and a friend left behind large quantities of alcohol. I have reminded said friend of this, and they said they were going to come over and get it, but have yet to do so. How long is the proper time to wait before consuming said alcohol? I don't want to hold on to it forever.... Thanks, Al Coholic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Dear Solar, A few weeks ago I had a get-together at my house, and a friend left behind large quantities of alcohol. I have reminded said friend of this, and they said they were going to come over and get it, but have yet to do so. How long is the proper time to wait before consuming said alcohol? I don't want to hold on to it forever.... Thanks, Al Coholic As Larry King would say, Hello, Sioux Falls, you're on! Bonnie, my dear, I believe you're being a bit too genial to your friend. A real friend is one who brings alcohol to your house FOR you to drink, not leaving it behind to put you into such a quandry. That's a party foul if ever there is one (grandma always said, "finish your beers you fucking lightweight pussy" before her liver burst). In this instance, there are some guidelines. If it's beer they left, you should drink it immediately so it does not go stale. If it is liquor, you should let it age to gain potency. Unless, of course, you want a drink, then you should drink that, too, immediately. That is, unless your friends are like mine and they drink nothing but Old Milwaukee, Mad Dog 20/20 and Thunderbird. Then, you can leave those sitting by idly until you need something to clean the funk out of the toilet and/or bathtub. I'd also recommend getting some new friends. Preferably fellow alcoholics who wouldn't be as foolish as to leave behind alcohol in the first place. Cheers! Ask Solar! (currently waiting to listen to the O2 gig) OK, who do we got next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthekingshorses Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 If you are one of the best rock and roll drummers is it rude to mention that maybe you would want to play with the best rock and roll band of all time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 If you are one of the best rock and roll drummers is it rude to mention that maybe you would want to play with the best rock and roll band of all time? Great question, ATKH! Welcome to Ask Solar! Let's say I happen to be one of the greatest rock drummers around. (Which I am) Let's also say that I happen to like Led Zeppelin. (Which I do) And let's also add that I have an encylopedic knowledge of Zep's live canon. (Which, you guessed it, I possess). Then, let's say I was drummer for one of the best up-and-coming rock bands in 30 or so years and that all ended all of a sudden, I then switched to guitar in my grief, recruited a bunch of talented musicians around me and formed a formidible band. (Something eerily similar happened to me, but it just wasn't well-reported by the soulsucking corporate rock media) Now, having been in two world-renowned bands would certainly inflate my ego enough to think I belong on the stage with a reformed Led Zeppelin. I can see how the hubris might come into play. I might even think that, hell, I might even be able to outplay Bonzo in a drumhead-to-drumhead showdown on a dusty deserted road with tumbleweeds steadily passing by like a metronome. But if Dave Grohl thinks he can get in a dick-swinging contest with the likes of Plant-Page-Jones, well, judging from those tight jeans in the 70s, I think RP would hit the skins with a little more oomph than Davey Boy. And the band would embarass the hell out of him, douse him with Wrecking Balm to erase that Zep tattoo he likes to brag about so much and summarily send him on tour playing drums for a reformed Whitesnake. Perhaps the Zep boys will invite the Foo Fighters to open for them and let Dave Grohl pretend to be Simon Kirke for an evening, coz he sure ain't Bonzo. The doctor was played by Larry Badgely, Ask Solar! (currently listening to Train Kept A Rollin', Cologne '80) PS: For the record, even I, in all my percussionistatstic ability, wouldn't dare think I could or even attempt to fill Bonzo's stool. Wait a sec, that sounded just flat out nasty. All right, folks, let's let Wild Wednesday begin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthekingshorses Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Ok, that was F*ck*in' funny...... nice job. Someone get him a column! ADDS: wouldn't dare think I could or even attempt to fill Bonzo's stool. Wait a sec, that sounded just flat out nasty. That's funny "Sh*t" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 An interesting thread title. Last week I was on the hunt for a couple mice that were shitting all over a secretary's desk every night (never mind that she was over 300 lbs and loves potato chips). I eventually nailed them. Glueboards and granola always do the trick. One of the secretaries was quite pleased and referred to me as the "master baiter". I wasn't sure if I should file harrasment charges or ask her out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthekingshorses Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 An interesting thread title. Last week I was on the hunt for a couple mice that were shitting all over a secretary's desk every night (never mind that she was over 300 lbs and loves potato chips). I eventually nailed them. Glueboards and granola always do the trick. One of the secretaries was quite pleased and referred to me as the "master baiter". I wasn't sure if I should file harrasment charges or ask her out. LOL... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 An interesting thread title. Last week I was on the hunt for a couple mice that were shitting all over a secretary's desk every night (never mind that she was over 300 lbs and loves potato chips). I eventually nailed them. Glueboards and granola always do the trick. One of the secretaries was quite pleased and referred to me as the "master baiter". I wasn't sure if I should file harrasment charges or ask her out. Spark it up, Bong-Man, and welcome to Wednesday's edition of Ask Solar! Um, where's the question? Where's Waldo? Where's that confounded bridge? I am so unsure of whether to congratulate you or hire you to do some extermination work at my house. I have these two pests who keep bothering me. They're my roommates. Could you maybe try the same setup with cheeseburgers and Heineken for me? I just asked a question on the thread where people are here to ask ME questions. What the hell?!? I think B-M just gave me a contact buzz. Highly puzzled, Ask Solar! (currently listening to For Your Life, 2007 at O2...and that's just weird to think about!) OK, folks, no more posts with only statements. We need questions and stat, nursey. Who's next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Am I on air? Yeah? Uiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... Ok, here's my question: When checking my spam folder today I found this e-mail advertising a dating site for nymphos. What I need to know now: How do they know? And what's more: Is it...safe? Yours ever so truly Catholicschoolgirlinquandary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Spark it up, Bong-Man, and welcome to Wednesday's edition of Ask Solar! Um, where's the question? Where's Waldo? Where's that confounded bridge? I am so unsure of whether to congratulate you or hire you to do some extermination work at my house. I have these two pests who keep bothering me. They're my roommates. Could you maybe try the same setup with cheeseburgers and Heineken for me? I just asked a question on the thread where people are here to ask ME questions. What the hell?!? I think B-M just gave me a contact buzz. Highly puzzled, Ask Solar! (currently listening to For Your Life, 2007 at O2...and that's just weird to think about!) OK, folks, no more posts with only statements. We need questions and stat, nursey. Who's next? Normally, I would be quite willing to ask you some kind of pertinent question, but Auntie Chris from the old board still accepts my HMO as full payment. He ain't the best Doctor around, but he's still mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Am I on air? Yeah? Uiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... Ok, here's my question: When checking my spam folder today I found this e-mail advertising a dating site for nymphos. What I need to know now: How do they know? And what's more: Is it...safe? Yours ever so truly Catholicschoolgirlinquandary Longtime Ask Solar! supporter Fuzzy, welcome to the show, All I can say, Catholicschoolgirlinquandry, is that this question can not be answered without proper pictures of yourself in various states of undress, a full stat sheet and a valid ID that says you're at least 18. It doesn't have to be yours. Eagerly awaiting, Ask Solar! (currently listening to Since I've Been Loving You, San Diego '73) No questions right now, as I'm just going to sit here and wait for these pictures. Oh, OK, maybe one or two. Next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Normally, I would be quite willing to ask you some kind of pertinent question, but Auntie Chris from the old board still accepts my HMO as full payment. He ain't the best Doctor around, but he's still mine. Sorry, B-M, I'm not far from you in the world and not a licensed doc. Can't get you any medicaljuana my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 OK folks, I'm back and rested. Ready to solve your problems! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KashmirDevi Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Long time supporter back again, Dear Solar, how did you become so filled with wisdom? Also, can you answer the age old question.... If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, then does it make a sound? Thank ye, kashmirdevisupporterofthewisesolar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthekingshorses Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Dear Solar, When is the DVD coming out? I tell ya, one minute I am ok with watching the You Tube links and the next minute I feel Sick Again and I am ready to cry because Kashmir sounded so good and I wasn't there. Will I ever forgive myself for listening to Harvey and not buying a passcode in the first ballot? (Some of them were f*ck*ng affordable!!!) Signed, allthekingshorses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Long time supporter back again, Dear Solar, how did you become so filled with wisdom? Also, can you answer the age old question.... If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, then does it make a sound? Thank ye, kashmirdevisupporterofthewisesolar Welcome back to Ask Solar, Kashmir! And thanks for your patronage. How did I get so wise, you ask? Well, I will tell you...but it must stay deep under wraps. You see, I am part of a covert government experiment designed to put the World into the World Wide Web. That is, I am really a superhuman data processing computer in much the same was as Robocop, only living and breathing flesh. It all comes from a microchip implanted in my neck that looks similar to a wart. When in actuality, it is a highly sophisticated satellite system that uploads and downloads my general operational data. You should catch me in a big storm, though. Boy, do my signals get way out of whack. You're lucky if you can even make out a sentence. As for the second portion, I recommend you take a tape recorder deep into the woods and set it on record for days or weeks on end. If you catch a tree falling and making a noise, you'll know the answer. More than likely, though, you'll just get the sounds of two deer making sweet, sweet love to each other. Or a Boy Scout troop getting mauled by bears. Which, in that case, you may as well set up a video camera, too, and make a buck or two. That's what I'd do. Yours in silence, Ask Solar! (currently listening to .... nothing!) allthekingshorses, you're next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Longtime Ask Solar! supporter Fuzzy, welcome to the show, All I can say, Catholicschoolgirlinquandry, is that this question can not be answered without proper pictures of yourself in various states of undress, a full stat sheet and a valid ID that says you're at least 18. It doesn't have to be yours. Eagerly awaiting, Ask Solar! (currently listening to Since I've Been Loving You, San Diego '73) No questions right now, as I'm just going to sit here and wait for these pictures. Oh, OK, maybe one or two. Next? Uh....oh...Solar....something bad happened.... I think. You know when I told my mummy and daddy about you and this radio show and your reply they acted very odd .... and then daddy ran off mumbling something about dirty old men and shotguns.... I think he completely misunderstood the situation. He's over 40 you know and old people have strange ideas. Well he isn't a very good shot and if I were you I wouldn't be overly worried....He never got that coyote in any case. Anyway the pickup truck might break down and he might not even make it to the radio station. I don't think his hunting buddies are around right now either...It's just - maybe you can lock the door? Just to be on the safe side? Your biggest fan Catholicschoolgirlinevenbiggerquandry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Dear Solar, When is the DVD coming out? I tell ya, one minute I am ok with watching the You Tube links and the next minute I feel Sick Again and I am ready to cry because Kashmir sounded so good and I wasn't there. Will I ever forgive myself for listening to Harvey and not buying a passcode in the first ballot? (Some of them were f*ck*ng affordable!!!) Signed, allthekingshorses Bonjour, ATKH. Qu'est que c'est, ma petite fille? That's my French coming out. Bet you didn't know I was multilingual, eh? Don't be down on yourself for playing by the rules. There is no foul in that. But if people were threatening lawsuits for HG changing the rules, why not threaten one back for having been scared out of buying a passcode on eBay? add in emotional distress and intentional dismemberment, and tell them you'll bring it to court if the band isn't sent on tour immediately. Name Jimmy Page and Robert Plant as principles in the suit. As well as Ticketmaster, O2, eBay, Paolo Nutini, Bill Curbishley, all of the current and former members of ELP, Yes, Bad Company, Foreigner and Dave Grohl (just in case). That should work. Also, find a lawyer who'll do it pro bono. That shouldn't be hard at all. As for the DVD, all the answers about that can be found within this thread http://forums.ledzeppelin.com//index.php?showtopic=1406 Happy Christmahaunnukwanzaa, Ask Solar! (currently listening to someone playing Guitar Hero II) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Uh....oh...Solar....something bad happened.... I think. You know when I told my mummy and daddy about you and this radio show and your reply they acted very odd .... and then daddy ran off mumbling something about dirty old men and shotguns.... I think he completely misunderstood the situation. He's over 40 you know and old people have strange ideas. Well he isn't a very good shot and if I were you I wouldn't be overly worried....He never got that coyote in any case. Anyway the pickup truck might break down and he might not even make it to the radio station. I don't think his hunting buddies are around right now either...It's just - maybe you can lock the door? Just to be on the safe side? Your biggest fan Catholicschoolgirlinevenbiggerquandry To whom it may concern, Do I know you? I don't think I do. I have no clue of what you're talking about. Make sure you tell that to your dad - in fact, call his cell phone immediately. You clearly have me confused with someone else. Let me know if you find that vile, filthy, lowlife scumbag. Warmest regards, Some other guy, not Ask Solar! Who's next here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 To whom it may concern, Do I know you? I don't think I do. I have no clue of what you're talking about. Make sure you tell that to your dad - in fact, call his cell phone immediately. You clearly have me confused with someone else. Let me know if you find that vile, filthy, lowlife scumbag. Warmest regards, Some other guy, not Ask Solar! It's ok - I told him your name was "DRUNK". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthekingshorses Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Bonjour, ATKH. Qu'est que c'est, ma petite fille? That's my French coming out. Bet you didn't know I was multilingual, eh? Don't be down on yourself for playing by the rules. There is no foul in that. But if people were threatening lawsuits for HG changing the rules, why not threaten one back for having been scared out of buying a passcode on eBay? add in emotional distress and intentional dismemberment, and tell them you'll bring it to court if the band isn't sent on tour immediately. Name Jimmy Page and Robert Plant as principles in the suit. As well as Ticketmaster, O2, eBay, Paolo Nutini, Bill Curbishley, all of the current and former members of ELP, Yes, Bad Company, Foreigner and Dave Grohl (just in case). That should work. Also, find a lawyer who'll do it pro bono. That shouldn't be hard at all. As for the DVD, all the answers about that can be found within this thread http://forums.ledzeppelin.com//index.php?showtopic=1406 Happy Christmahaunnukwanzaa, Ask Solar! (currently listening to someone playing Guitar Hero II) THAT... is.. brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Dear Solar, I'm home,it's snowing to beat the band,I have whiskey and beer on hand,......I want to get drunk,no I want to drink and then get drunk,....but it's mid-afternoon,........should I? If I do drink/get drunk should I NOT post replies on this board? Thanks,your a life-saver! KB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Dear Solar, I'm home,it's snowing to beat the band,I have whiskey and beer on hand,......I want to get drunk,no I want to drink and then get drunk,....but it's mid-afternoon,........should I? If I do drink/get drunk should I NOT post replies on this board? Thanks,your a life-saver! KB KB/zepyep, welcome to Ask Solar! Busy day here at AS! headquarters, so I have to keep this relatively short. But this is the written equivalent of a 911 call and needs immediate assistance. Well, if it's snowing and you should certainly start with the whiskey. As the ol' axiom goes, 'Liquor before beer, and you're in the clear. Beer before liquor only makes you sicker.' Time of day is neither an excuse nor a reason for drinking/getting drunk. Breakups/job problems/birthdays are valid reasons. As are it being a Thursday. Or a Friday. Or December. Or a year with a 2 in it (which works great in the 2000s). As for posting drunk, I'm all for it. In fact, strip naked and post Matthew McConaghey style while pounding on your bongos in front of your front window. Wake the neighbors! Scare the children! Report back to us with the results immediately as the reds and blues start flasing outside your house! Drink up! Ask Solar! (currently watching ESPN) PS: I'll be fielding more questions soon. I'll let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Hi Solar! !KB/zepyep, welcome to Ask Solar! Busy day here at AS! headquarters, so I have to keep this relatively short. But this is the written equivalent of a 911 call and needs immediate assistance. Well, if it's snowing and you should certainly start with the whiskey. As the ol' axiom goes, 'Liquor before beer, and you're in the clear. Beer before liquor only makes you sicker.' Time of day is neither an excuse nor a reason for drinking/getting drunk. Breakups/job problems/birthdays are valid reasons. As are it being a Thursday. Or a Friday. Or December. Or a year with a 2 in it (which works great in the 2000s). As for posting drunk, I'm all for it. In fact, strip naked and post Matthew McConaghey style while pounding on your bongos in front of your front window. Wake the neighbors! Scare the children! Report back to us with the results immediately as the reds and blues start flasing outside your house! Drink up! Ask Solar! (currently watching ESPN) PS: I'll be fielding more questions soon. I'll let you know. Thank you soooooooooo much! Sorry to bother you,I just needed some help and didn't know where to turn! So if my liver doesn't quiver And my bladder doesn't spatter Have another drink,because it don't really matter? Good,I'm going to get started,.... Well,I live on the third floor,it is snowing like mad,......I want to keep my clothes on and I don't like jail,forgive me please! Thanks again(is there a fee for this?) Kevin Brady(zepyep) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.