Electrophile Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Are the dates not for both people or do you agree with that other guy (Nathan? Somebody said it. ) that the dates are for the woman? Shouldn't you be getting in return what you have been giving? You don't give very much.....so you don't get very much. How hard is that to understand? You're supposed to be nice not because you expect getting something in return, but because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to be nice even if you don't get anything in return. That's the mark of a gentleman. You open the door for a lady; my dad always does. You pull out her chair in a nice restaurant. You open her car door. You don't do these things expecting her to turn around and do them for you. It doesn't mean you're putting her on a pedestal, catering to her or any of the other ridiculous horse shit you've come up with in the trillions of posts you've made. All you post are excuses. Excuses for why you can't do this and why you can't do that. You've never once posted a real, concrete reason for why everything anyone has said to you will not work. It's all excuses, made out of cotton candy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 Actually, you DO get stuff in return for being a gentleman. But it might not be an immediate quid pro quo (look it up Spats). You're cultivating something for the future. If you're nice and do all the gentlemanly things, the woman will think you're a great guy, and it will pay dividends. But Spats wants to keep score, and thinks that for every nice thing he does, she should immediately turn around and do the same, so it's always equal. Heaven forbid he does a few nice things, and the score becomes uneven. That's why he holds back, because he doesn't want to put himself too much out there, even once he's on the date. Doing a few nice things which aren't immediately reciprocated would mean he's a chump (to him), and so he doesn't bother. He can't let the "score" get too uneven, or he feels like he's "losing" on the date. He's not able to see the big picture, where doing nice things will pay off in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 You don't give very much.....so you don't get very much. How hard is that to understand? You're supposed to be nice not because you expect getting something in return, but because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to be nice even if you don't get anything in return. That's the mark of a gentleman. You open the door for a lady; my dad always does. You pull out her chair in a nice restaurant. You open her car door. You don't do these things expecting her to turn around and do them for you. It doesn't mean you're putting her on a pedestal, catering to her or any of the other ridiculous horse shit you've come up with in the trillions of posts you've made. All you post are excuses. Excuses for why you can't do this and why you can't do that. You've never once posted a real, concrete reason for why everything anyone has said to you will not work. It's all excuses, made out of cotton candy. But why should you do those things for a woman? Why should you open her car door for her? It just seems the guy is doing everything. A guy should get something in return ( i don't mean that in a sexual way) or else he is just be used and taken advantage of. Do you think a woman should do all those same things for a guy? My concrete reason is that those things that people have mentioned have not worked for me. If they did i would be doing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 But why should you do those things for a woman? Why should you open her car door for her? It just seems the guy is doing everything. A guy should get something in return ( i don't mean that in a sexual way) or else he is just be used and taken advantage of. I hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 But why should you do those things for a woman? Why should you open her car door for her? It just seems the guy is doing everything. A guy should get something in return ( i don't mean that in a sexual way) or else he is just be used and taken advantage of. Do you think a woman should do all those same things for a guy? Hell no. I feel horrible if my girlfriend spends money on me/us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 But why should you do those things for a woman? Why should you open her car door for her? It just seems the guy is doing everything. A guy should get something in return ( i don't mean that in a sexual way) or else he is just be used and taken advantage of. Wow, did I bullseye it again, or what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Actually, you DO get stuff in return for being a gentleman. But it might not be an immediate quid pro quo (look it up Spats). You're cultivating something for the future. If you're nice and do all the gentlemanly things, the woman will think you're a great guy, and it will pay dividends. But Spats wants to keep score, and thinks that for every nice thing he does, she should immediately turn around and do the same, so it's always equal. Heaven forbid he does a few nice things, and the score becomes uneven. That's why he holds back, because he doesn't want to put himself too much out there, even once he's on the date. Doing a few nice things which aren't immediately reciprocated would mean he's a chump (to him), and so he doesn't bother. He can't let the "score" get too uneven, or he feels like he's "losing" on the date. He's not able to see the big picture, where doing nice things will pay off in the long run. Yes i do think things should be equal. I don't want to be taken advantage of or used or walked over. Things never paid off in the long run for me in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I hate you. Do you think a woman should do all those things for a guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 See Spats, this is where your inherent distrust, hatred, and resentment of women comes shining through. You're so scared of being taken advantage of, being made to feel like a chump, or made to look bad, that it's impossible for you to put yourself out there or even do nice things for women. Your distrust and resentment runs so deep, that you constantly suspect you're being taken advantage of. It's pretty sad, dude. Get counseling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Wow, did I bullseye it again, or what? It's like "Being Inside John Malkovich", only with Spats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 It's like "Being Inside John Malkovich", only with Spats. They say that the reason Robert E. Lee was so successful as a general was that he was able to make himself his opponent long enough to know what his opponent would do...he could get inside their head. So I'm like Robert E. Lee, and Spats is like U.S. Grant, only more stupid and less successful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 See Spats, this is where your inherent distrust, hatred, and resentment of women comes shining through. You're so scared of being taken advantage of, being made to feel like a chump, or made to look bad, that it's impossible for you to put yourself out there or even do nice things for women. Your distrust and resentment runs so deep, that you constantly suspect you're being taken advantage of. It's pretty sad, dude. Get counseling. There is no hatred at all. It's not that i suspect i will be taken advantage, etc. It's just that i want to make sure it doesn't happen. because it has happened before. And i don't think that anyone should be catered to or put on a pedestal or spoiled. Man or woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 God, you're an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 There is no hatred at all. It's not that i suspect i will be taken advantage, etc. It's just that i want to make sure it doesn't happen. And i don't think that anyone should be catered to or put on a pedestal or spoiled. Man or woman. Pardon the blasphemy for but a moment. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Being gentlemenly to a woman on a date is not "catering" to her or "putting her on a pedestal". Do you understand that? Sound the words out if you need help understanding them. If you're nice to a woman, that doesn't mean you will be taken advantage of. Do you understand that? If you open the door for her, she will say thank you, not "fuck off, asshole" or try and steal your wallet. That would be getting taken advantage of. YOU. NEED. TO. SEE. A. DOCTOR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 There is no hatred at all. It's not that i suspect i will be taken advantage, etc. It's just that i want to make sure it doesn't happen. And i don't think that anyone should be catered to or put on a pedestal or spoiled. Man or woman. Men pay for things, do little things to get her attention. Then men get to sit at home and watch football and drink beer without being bitched at or having to go to the book club or something We're equal see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Men pay for things, do little things to get her attention. Then men get to sit at home and watch football and drink beer without being bitched at or having to go to the book club or something We're equal see? That's not equal at all.lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 They say that the reason Robert E. Lee was so successful as a general was that he was able to make himself his opponent long enough to know what his opponent would do...he could get inside their head. So I'm like Robert E. Lee, and Spats is like U.S. Grant, only more stupid and less successful. Greatest analogy ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 Men pay for things, do little things to get her attention. Then men get to sit at home and watch football and drink beer without being bitched at or having to go to the book club or something We're equal see? Spats says "A cool girl wouldn't make you go to a book club anyway, and would let you watch football and drink beer. I won't make them do anything they don't want, and they should do the same. I shouldn't have to do nice things to be left alone or be allowed to do what I want." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babs Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 There is no hatred at all. It's not that i suspect i will be taken advantage, etc. It's just that i want to make sure it doesn't happen. because it has happened before. And i don't think that anyone should be catered to or put on a pedestal or spoiled. Man or woman. Do you not get any pleasure out of giving? Remember "It's better to give than receive". I love doing things for my wife .It makes me feel good. You must be a real treat at christmas time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 That's not equal at all.lol Damn straight, we got it good! Come on spats, opening up a door or pulling a chair back aren't even necessary. You don't have to do them. 95 out of 100 times, a girl won't even notice. But I'll tell ya this much, they're certainly positives if you catch my drift (there's a draft in my house...weird). My point is, little things are like extra credit, they don't have to be done, but theyc an help you a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Pardon the blasphemy for but a moment. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Being gentlemenly to a woman on a date is not "catering" to her or "putting her on a pedestal". Do you understand that? Sound the words out if you need help understanding them. If you're nice to a woman, that doesn't mean you will be taken advantage of. Do you understand that? If you open the door for her, she will say thank you, not "fuck off, asshole" or try and steal your wallet. That would be getting taken advantage of. YOU. NEED. TO. SEE. A. DOCTOR. What do you call it then when a guy is opening the car door, opening the restuarant door, pulling out the chair, making sure her glass is full everytime it's empty and the guy is not getting that good treatment in return? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 Do you not get any pleasure out of giving? Remember "It's better to give than receive". I love doing things for my wife .It makes me feel good. You must be a real treat at christmas time. Spats says "Only if I get the same in return. It shouldn't be all about them, it should be equal. If I get her a Christmas present that cost $50, and when I open my present and see that it only cost $30, I'm marching over to her purse and taking $20. Even Steven, baby!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babs Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Spats says "Only if I get the same in return. It shouldn't be all about them, it should be equal. If I get her a Christmas present that cost $50, and when I open my present and see that it only cost $30, I'm marching over to her purse and taking $20. Even Steven, baby!!" Hey I never thought of that. Good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Do you not get any pleasure out of giving? Remember "It's better to give than receive". I love doing things for my wife .It makes me feel good. You must be a real treat at christmas time. Yes i do. But if you are not getting anything in return then it's wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 What do you call it then when a guy is opening the car door, opening the restuarant door, pulling out the chair, making sure her glass is full everytime it's empty and the guy is not getting that good treatment in return? Let me just post this again, since you either didn't read, or it didn't sink in (happens a lot, I know) Actually, you DO get stuff in return for being a gentleman. But it might not be an immediate quid pro quo (look it up Spats). You're cultivating something for the future. If you're nice and do all the gentlemanly things, the woman will think you're a great guy, and it will pay dividends. But Spats wants to keep score, and thinks that for every nice thing he does, she should immediately turn around and do the same, so it's always equal. Heaven forbid he does a few nice things, and the score becomes uneven. That's why he holds back, because he doesn't want to put himself too much out there, even once he's on the date. Doing a few nice things which aren't immediately reciprocated would mean he's a chump (to him), and so he doesn't bother. He can't let the "score" get too uneven, or he feels like he's "losing" on the date. He's not able to see the big picture, where doing nice things will pay off in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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