Jahfin Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah J Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 ^^ Jahfin, that is funny as hell!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah J Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) Carnation MILK 50 YEARS AGO This is PRICELESS A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning With 'Carnation Milk is best of all.' She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house. A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, "Ma'am,.....The president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry.....So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!" He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall. True Story Edited January 20, 2012 by Deborah J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie29 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Paddy and Murphy are on the cruise ship Costa Concordia. Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight." Murphy says, "Everyone will be watching the band." Paddy says, "There isn't a band playing tonight." Murphy says "I definitely heard some fucker say "a band on ship"." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 A story I'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house; He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide, 'Till the folks were all asleep, Then said he, "With their money I'll take a quiet sneak." So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall; He didn't know it was an old maid's room Or he wouldn't have had the gall. He thought of the money that he would steal, As under the bed he lay; But at nine o'clock he saw a sight That made his hair turn gray. At nine o'clock the old maid came in; "I am so tired," she said; She thought that all was well that night So she didn't look under the bed. She took out her teeth and her big glass eye, And the hair from off her head; The burglar, he had forty fits As he watched from under the bed. From under the bed the burglar crept, He was a total wreck; The old maid wasn't asleep at all And she grabbed him by the neck. She didn't holler, or shout or call, She was as cool as a clam; She only said, "The Saints be praised, At last I've got a man!" From under the pillow a gun she drew, And to the burglar she said, "Young man, if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top of your head!" She held him firmly by the neck, He hadn't a chance to scoot; He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye, And said, "Madam, for Pete's sake, shoot!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strider Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Garfunkle and Oates rule! I totally have the hots for Kate "Oates" Micucci! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 http://youtu.be/NuTjQLfU6Gk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Epic Guitar Swing Fail (not the name of the band): Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Minxter Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Paddy and Murphy are on the cruise ship Costa Concordia. Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight." Murphy says, "Everyone will be watching the band." Paddy says, "There isn't a band playing tonight." Murphy says "I definitely heard some fucker say "a band on ship"." I know one or two crackers about that subject, but i'll get banned from here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Minxter Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) ok here's a slightly mild one.. I see that the captain from the Costa Concordia tragedy is saying that he fell into a lifeboat by accident. A bit like those prostitutes accidently walking into Peter Sutcliffes hammer? (I'll get my coat...) Edited January 22, 2012 by The_Minxter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 http://youtu.be/m_N1OjGhIFc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Bon Joviver, that crossroads in hell where Bon Jovi and Bon Iver meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 http://youtu.be/b5DIjKEAnXQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 http://youtu.be/4mCDZMWVWuc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2bitnogoodjive Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 http://youtu.be/sNKLI3orB4Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 http://youtu.be/X6Mho9Xm_R4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jahfin Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 http://youtu.be/74t6rug_Yh8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 http://youtu.be/Mt-ll2fGj4s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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