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Lake of Shadows

Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

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Probably because the bad guys covered the cost of the meals.

This says it all. Women for whatever reason fall for guys that are not good for them.

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Congrats on your anniversary. Whatever rows your boat.

No, i don't look at my female friends in a sexual way at all. It's not that they aren't nice. They are. They just are not my type physically. You have to be physically attracted to someone to have sex with them. I won't go into details but you know why.

And in the past when i was friends with women that i really was physically attracted to they put me in the "friend zone". Almost every guy on earth knows what that means. That's when the girl says "You are really nice and i really like you. But only as a friend" Or "I don't want to ruin our friendship".

There is a great question. How does a guy avoid the "friend zone" with a girl he wants to hook up with?? :o

You seem to think that the hotties are not nice and that only the plain girls have a "heart of gold". That's not true. I dated nice girls who were pretty. And i have met plain girls who were not nice at all.

Well, what's 'rowing' my boat is something you are complaing about not having - someone who's interested in you - sexually, intellectually, personally.

You can be physically attracted to someone before you have sex with them OR you can be less shallow, befriend them, and perhaps, fall in love. Suddenly, sex won't seem so superficial and the enjoyment is increased, ten fold.

I didn't say that 'the hotties' are not nice - I merely made the point that looks aren't everything. SOME of the world's most beautiful people can also be the most difficult to live with.

And perhaps the 'plain' girls weren't all that nice because they knew what you were about.

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This says it all. Women for whatever reason fall for guys that are not good for them.

I got a book full of girls

that I can call on the phone

and they all dig me

'cause my conversation is so strong

I ain't doin' too bad

I ain't doin' too bad at all

-James Cotton

Edited by eternal light

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James cotton does not say in those lyrics whether those women were good looking or not. He just mentions girls. it's easier to have a lot of girls in your phone if looks do not matter.

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He covers the costs of the meals, for one thing. That let's her know he wants more than a mere friendship. She's liable to reject someone who doesn't.

If any male friend ever covered the cost of my meal I wouldn't assume they were interested in me at all. I would assume they were being chivalrous - being the respectful boy his parents taught him to be.

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James cotton does not say in those lyrics whether those women were good looking or not. He just mentions girls. it's easier to have a lot of girls in your phone if looks do not matter.

Quoted for future use.

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Well, what's 'rowing' my boat is something you are complaing about not having - someone who's interested in you - sexually, intellectually, personally.

You can be physically attracted to someone before you have sex with them OR you can be less shallow, befriend them, and perhaps, fall in love. Suddenly, sex won't seem so superficial and the enjoyment is increased, ten fold.

I didn't say that 'the hotties' are not nice - I merely made the point that looks aren't everything. SOME of the world's most beautiful people can also be the most difficult to live with.

And perhaps the 'plain' girls weren't all that nice because they knew what you were about.

All i am saying is that i have had plenty of female friends who i never went to bed with because the sexual chemistry was not there. On my part or in some cases their part. being friends first has never worked for me when it comes to sex.

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If any male friend ever covered the cost of my meal I wouldn't assume they were interested in me at all. I would assume they were being chivalrous - being the respectful boy his parents taught him to be.

What do girls parents teach them when the boys parents are telling him to pay for the meals?

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What do girls parents teach them when the boys parents are telling him to pay for the meals?

To be polite and accept the offer if given - at least that was what I was taught.

On the other hand, I also believe in sharing. I'm splitting the bill with my boyfriend when we go out for our anniversary meal. That way, he'll 'pay' for my share and I'll do the same for his. I won't feel like I've took everything and he won't feel like he's just given.

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To be polite and accept the offer if given - at least that was what I was taught.

On the other hand, I also believe in sharing. I'm splitting the bill with my boyfriend when we go out for our anniversary meal. That way, he'll 'pay' for my share and I'll do the same for his. I won't feel like I've took everything and he won't feel like he's just given.

But are you sharing just because he is your boyfriend. Do you share when first going on a date? Did your parents tell you to pay for meals for guys you went on a date with?

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James cotton does not say in those lyrics whether those women were good looking or not. He just mentions girls. it's easier to have a lot of girls in your phone if looks do not matter.

On August 23rd he'll be in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada at the LaBatts Blues Festival with special guests Hubert Sumlin and Pinetop Perkins. If you're in the neighborhood, maybe you can ask him.

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But are you sharing just because he is your boyfriend. Do you share when first going on a date? Did your parents tell you to pay for meals for guys you went on a date with?

I'm sharing on this occaision, mainly because of what it means to both of us. But there are times when he will pay - and I tend to feel awful if he does. My parents didn't tell me how to do any of that, they're in the dark about dating etiquette just as much as I was/am. They got together at 17, married at 20, still together at 52. I got with my boyfriend at 17 and we're still together at 22.

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No not at all. I wouldn't go near a woman who does that. But me making the first movie has never let to sex period. Not even down the road. Because she usually rejected my ass.

Oh, ok.

Not that I have any new advice, I just wanted clarification.

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I do. But with a woman who does not expect me to do all the work. If she wants the guy to do all of what i mentioned then she wants him to do all the work while she just sits back.

It shouldn't feel like "work". I know sometimes getting to know someone new is though. It just depends on how much you want to get to know that person i guess. As far as the paying for things goes, i think it should be shared (unless one person is wealthy and the other is not). Take turns or go dutch many times. But the first few dates, depending on how much you want them to continue, you should try to impress the girl, but also be yourself. So if it feels like "work" then maybe that person isn't the right one. Spats, you make it all too complicated. Talk to a professional about this.

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Guys do that all the time and still get looked at as only a friend.

On the other hand, if she accepts him anyway and they are still having fun together after the days have passed, she could be the one. :D

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It shouldn't feel like "work". I know sometimes getting to know someone new is though. It just depends on how much you want to get to know that person i guess. As far as the paying for things goes, i think it should be shared (unless one person is wealthy and the other is not). Take turns or go dutch many times. But the first few dates, depending on how much you want them to continue, you should try to impress the girl, but also be yourself. So if it feels like "work" then maybe that person isn't the right one. Spats, you make it all too complicated. Talk to a professional about this.

But if the guy is doing everything then it is going to feel like work. No matter who the women is. And the dude will end up resenting t her because she is just sitting back letting him do it.

I agree the paying should be shared at least until when and if you become a couple. Then no one is taken advantage of. Women usually expect fancy restaurants and those aren't cheap if you are paying for two people. Hell taking a woman to the movie is so expensive. 13 bucks for a movie each. That's 26 dollars right there. Then food. These days popcorn and a drink pushes close to 10 dollars. so for 2 that's another 20 dollars. So just for the movie and popcorn alone a guy is paying close to 50 dollars on the date. Then if you go out to eat after that. Oh lord. :o See?. I would feel quilty if someone spent that much on a date with me. Women should to. Just split it.

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Quoted for future use.

But it's a good point. What's the point in him bragging about how many women he has in his phone book if you don't even know the quality of the women.

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What's the point in him bragging about how many women he has in his phone book if you don't even know the quality of the women.

It's that they all dig him because his conversation is so strong, and that he ain't doin' too bad at all. He's not talking about the quality of the women one way or another.

Edited by eternal light

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It's that his conversation is so strong. He's not talking about the quality of the women one way or another.

He should though. What does it matter how strong his conversation is if you don't know what type of women he is attracting??. I have buddies that can chat up plain looking girls like you wouldn't believe. But they have to work harder with the very pretty women.

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He should though. What does it matter how strong his conversation is if you don't know what type of women he is attracting??. I have buddies that can chat up plain looking girls like you wouldn't believe. But they have to work harder with the very pretty women.

He's a grown man. He has already matured, so he's got the 'it' girl in perspective. It matters because of the quality of the relationship on more than a meat market level.

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He's a grown man. He has already matured, so he's got the 'it' girl in perspective. It matters because of the quality of the relationship on more than a meat market level.

What do you mean the "it" girl?

If he was a mature man would he be bragging about how many women he has in his phonebook?

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What do you mean the "it" girl?

If he was a mature man would he be bragging about how many women he has in his phonebook?

Yeah, he might be letting everyone know that he has a whole lot of girls in that book for a reason, that is that his conversation is so strong.

An It girl or It-girl is a charming, sexy young woman who receives intense media coverage unrelated or disproportional to personal achievements. The reign of an "It girl" is usually temporary; some of the rising It girls will either become fully-fledged celebrities or their popularity will fade.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_girl

Edited by eternal light

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Yeah, he might be letting everyone know that he has a whole lot of girls in that book for a reason, that is that his conversation is so strong.

Which leads back to the quality of the women. The lyrics lose their meaning otherwise.

That would be like me bragging about all th women i have been with and then posting pictures of them and they are not that attractive. There would sort of a reaction like..."so?". But if i posted pics of girls i have been with and they look like Eva Mendes the reaction would be more impressive.

Edited by spats

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Which leads back to the quality of the women. The lyrics lose their meaning otherwise.

That would be like me bragging about all th women i have been with and then posting pictures of them and they are not that attractive. There would sort of a reaction like..."so?". But if i posted pics of girls i have been with and they look like Eva Mendes the reaction would be more impressive.

As long as the women are of a quality pleasing to him, I see no reason why he should care what you think.

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As long as the women are of a quality pleasing to him, I see no reason why he should care what you think.

That's true i guess. I am different. I care what other people think. It's just that it hurts the meaning of the lyrics. What doe the lyrics have to do with what we have been talking about?

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