The Spats Thread

[Mattmc1973]

I will ask this again.

Are you sure you aren't gay?

Nope, he's just a retard.

[Nathan]

Nope, he's just a retard.

Sorry but... everything he wants in a woman... he's more likely to find in a guy. That's why I'm asking...

[spats]

I will ask this again.

Are you sure you aren't gay?

Dude, we just do things differently. If you choose to do whatever a woman asks you to do no matter what it is, then go for it.

But he thinks i should be bending over and doing anything to make them happy. If she wants dinner at the table.... do it, if she wants this... do it. If she wants that....do it. That's just too much. But if i turn around and say.."what about them?? then i am being unreasonable.

[Mattmc1973]

Sorry but... everything he wants in a woman... he's more likely to find in a guy. That's why I'm asking...

Yeah, but no gay guy is gonna put up with his BS either.

[manderlyh]

Yeah, but no gay guy is gonna put up with his BS either.

[Mattmc1973]

Dude, we just do things differently. If you choose to do whatever a woman asks you to do no matter what it is, then go for it.

But he thinks i should be bending over and doing anything to make them happy. If she wants dinner at the table.... do it, if she wants this... do it. If she wants that....do it. That's just too much. But if i turn around and say.."what about them?? then i am being unreasonable.

Let me get this straight...you asked a girl to move out because she wanted to have dinner with you at the dinner table, and you wanted to sit on the couch and pay attention to the tv while eating. In a nutshell, is that correct?

[spats]

Yes, because you are unbelievably stubborn over the littlest things. Your girlfriend wants to sit down at the table and eat a nice dinner with you, and spend some time with you, and you can't be bothered. It's more important to you to sit on the couch and watch tv, like you're a 10 year old. Again, just get a blow-up doll, it won't want you to do anything, spend any time with you, or ask you to make any accomodations. Perfect.

How was her wanting to eat dinner at the the dinner table at dinnertime every night perfectly reasonable but me wanting to sit and eat in front of the tv was not?

[manderlyh]

How was her wanting to eat dinner at the the dinner table at dinnertime every night perfectly reasonable but me wanting to sit and eat in front of the tv was not?

Which is exactly why I asked my boyfriend if he's been trolling ledzeppelin.com.

Spats sometimes sounds like an extremely exaggerated version of my boyfriend, with the "I will only go to movies I want to see," and "I don't like weddings, so she can go by herself," and other crap, LOL.

[Nathan]

Dude, we just do things differently. If you choose to do whatever a woman asks you to do no matter what it is, then go for it.

But he thinks i should be bending over and doing anything to make them happy. If she wants dinner at the table.... do it, if she wants this... do it. If she wants that....do it. That's just too much. But if i turn around and say.."what about them?? then i am being unreasonable.

WTF?

What do you want from her? And do you honestly expect to get what you want from her if you don't give her what she wants? If she wants to spend time with you, spend some fucking time with her, for christ's sake! What's so fucking hard about that?

And BTW, I ain't got a routine, either. I eat when I eat and where I want to eat. But I had routines with my last girlfriend WHEN WE HAD DATES because you kinda half to. And you know what? I enjoyed it every time.

Let me put it to you like this. She is NOT gonna worship you if you don't worship her.

And do me a favor, don't take that literally. Like we have all been trying to tell you from the beginning, it's fucking give-and-take. You want sex? Drive her home. That simple. You can't get it, then you're either gay, retarted, really want to be alone the rest of your life, or your shittin' the hell out of us and gettin' a great laugh out of it.

Yeah, but no gay guy is gonna put up with his BS either.

... Good point...

[spats]

Let me get this straight...you asked a girl to move out because she wanted to have dinner with you at the dinner table, and you wanted to sit on the couch and pay attention to the tv while eating. In a nutshell, is that correct?

That was not the only reason. She wanted that as a new routine that we were to do every night. That was just one of the ways she was trying to change my life and the way i did things. Just because you live with someone does not mean you have to turn your world upside down. It's like she thought we were married all of a sudden just because we were living together. If she had come out and said she wanted me home by a certain time i would have thrown myself out the window. That was probably going to be next.

My friends still laugh today about how short our time living together was. And of course the realtionhips ended shortly after that. I guess she couldn't get over the fact i asked her to move out.

[Nathan]

That was not the only reason. She wanted that as a new routine that we were to do every night. That was just one of the ways she was trying to change my life and the way i did things. Just because you live with someone does not mean you have to turn your world upside down. It's like she thought we were married all of a sudden just because we were living together. If she had come out and said she wanted me home by a certain time i would have thrown myself out the window. That was probably going to be next.

My friends still laugh today about how short our time living together was. And of course the realtionhips ended shortly after that. I guess she couldn't get over the fact i asked her to move out.

All girls would be kinda pissed at you, dude. She loved you and wanted a relationship with you. You blew it because you're a stubborn dumb-ass.

[Mattmc1973]

How was her wanting to eat dinner at the the dinner table at dinnertime every night perfectly reasonable but me wanting to sit and eat in front of the tv was not?

I can't even believe I'm arguing with you about this, or that this has to be explained to you. You are truly retarded.

We'll just add this to the endless list of things you won't do for women. Fine. Great. Keep doing things the way you're doing them, don't change for anyone. And you can expect to never have anyone, which you seem OK with, so it works out for everyone.

Spats, you are a dense, immature, retarded, dim-witted, stubborn, emotionally-stunted, selfish prick who is beyond help. Any sympathy or empathy I ever had for you is gone, you're a fucking stupid twat who deserves whatever he gets.

I'm done with you, piss off. Everyone else can continue wasting their time with you, and having fun at your expense, but I'm done.

[manderlyh]

All girls would be kinda pissed at you, dude. She loved you and wanted a relationship with you. You blew it because you're a stubborn dumb-ass.

Exactly. That's just like saying, "hey, let's get married." Then you get married, you move in together, you live together, and you say, "you know, I don't like this whole marriage thing. I want a divorce, but we can still be together."

Why would you think that after going that far that going back to just dating would be okay? Going back on big steps like that is pretty much a deal breaker, even if you both don't think it will be--which is why once you decide to take a new step like that, you'd better be damned sure that you're ready for a bigger commitment to the person.

[spats]

All girls would be kinda pissed at you, dude. She loved you and wanted a relationship with you. You blew it because you're a stubborn dumb-ass.

I only blew it if i regretted doing it. I didn't. I am allowed to ask someone to move out of my home. Nothing wrong with that.

[Nathan]

I only blew it if i regretted doing it. I didn't. I am allowed to ask someone to move out of my home. Nothing wrong with that.

As usual, you missed the point entirely. See manderlyh's post:

Exactly. That's just like saying, "hey, let's get married." Then you get married, you move in together, you live together, and you say, "you know, I don't like this whole marriage thing. I want a divorce, but we can still be together."

Why would you think that after going that far that going back to just dating would be okay? Going back on big steps like that is pretty much a deal breaker, even if you both don't think it will be--which is why once you decide to take a new step like that, you'd better be damned sure that you're ready for a bigger commitment to the person.

[spats]

Exactly. That's just like saying, "hey, let's get married." Then you get married, you move in together, you live together, and you say, "you know, I don't like this whole marriage thing. I want a divorce, but we can still be together."

Why would you think that after going that far that going back to just dating would be okay? Going back on big steps like that is pretty much a deal breaker, even if you both don't think it will be--which is why once you decide to take a new step like that, you'd better be damned sure that you're ready for a bigger commitment to the person.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't expect her to forgive and forget. But i had to ask her to leave because i wasn't happy. I haven't moved in with a girlfriend since then. Best not too unless she can let me be myself and not try and change everything.

[manderlyh]

Exactly what Nathan said. You totally missed the point. You're STILL missing the point.

If you decide to "up the ante" in a relationship, it is NEVER going to go smoothly. The first two months Dave and I lived together, we fought more than we ever have in the other 82 months we've been together combined. It was just that we were both used to living in our own apartments, by ourselves with no one to answer to and no one to worry about how they felt if this happened in the house or that happened, or sharing the TV, bathroom, bedroom, garage, etc. Then, all of a sudden, even though we'd been together for years, living together was much different than just staying over at each other's houses--much different than swapping keys. We couldn't get away from each other by going home if we needed a break--the only escaping each other was if one of us left the house.

It's hard to get used to, especially if you are an independent person like Dave and I both are. BUT if you are committed to the person, you can usually have conversations that will work the kinks out.

And guess what? It's sooo worth it. I love coming home and having him there. It's so much nicer than coming home to a roommate or just my cat.

[spats]

I can't even believe I'm arguing with you about this, or that this has to be explained to you. You are truly retarded.

We'll just add this to the endless list of things you won't do for women. Fine. Great. Keep doing things the way you're doing them, don't change for anyone. And you can expect to never have anyone, which you seem OK with, so it works out for everyone.

Spats, you are a dense, immature, retarded, dim-witted, stubborn, emotionally-stunted, selfish prick who is beyond help. Any sympathy or empathy I ever had for you is gone, you're a fucking stupid twat who deserves whatever he gets.

I'm done with you, piss off. Everyone else can continue wasting their time with you, and having fun at your expense, but I'm done.

Dude, you just seem to expect me to do all the changing and giving in. Everything they want is reasonable. Everything i want is messed up. I didn't ask her to change or turn her life upside down.

[spats]

Exactly what Nathan said. You totally missed the point.

If you decide to "up the ante" in a relationship, it is NEVER going to go smoothly. The first two months Dave and I lived together, we fought more than we ever have in the other 82 months we've been together combined. It was just that we were both used to living in our own apartments, by ourselves with no one to answer to and no one to worry about how they felt if this happened in the house or that happened, or sharing the TV, bathroom, bedroom, garage, etc. Then, all of a sudden, even though we'd been together for years, living together was much different than just staying over at each other's houses--much different than swapping keays. We couldn't get away from each other by going home if we needed a break--the only escaping each other was if one of us left the house.

It's hard to get used to, especially if you are an independent person like Dave and I both are. BUT if you are committed to the person, you can usually have conversations that will work the kinks out.

And guess what? It's sooo worth it. I love coming home and having him there. It's so much nicer than coming home to a roommate or just my cat.

I am happy for you if that makes you happy. I am a very, very independant person and i don't think having someone over in my house 24/7 is for me. Staying over is fine. But not full time. I have never had a problem with girlfriends staying over for a day or two but when they are having a say over what i do or don't do or when or how then it rubs me the wrong way.

Nathan said i blew it. If i missed that girl and regretted it then you caould say i blew it. But i have moved on and don't think about her that much.

[Nathan]

Nathan said i blew it. If i missed that girl and regretted it then you caould say i blew it. But i have moved on and don't think about her that much.

And you're still missing the point!

You blew it because SHE was pissed at you! Don't you get it? It isn't all about you! Get that through your thick head.

[Rock Action]

Spats, you are a dense, immature, retarded, dim-witted, stubborn, emotionally-stunted, selfish prick who is beyond help. Any sympathy or empathy I ever had for you is gone, you're a fucking stupid twat who deserves whatever he gets.

I'm done with you, piss off. Everyone else can continue wasting their time with you, and having fun at your expense, but I'm done.

Aw c'mon, Matt. Tell us how you really feel.

Actually you did tell us how I feel about it too. Fuck this crap. I hope Spats spends the rest of his wretched little life fucking his fist.

[spats]

And you're still missing the point!

You blew it because SHE was pissed at you! Don't you get it? It isn't all about you! Get that through your thick head.

So what if she was pissed at me. Making a change like that is not gonna be a barrel of laughs.

[Nathan]

So what if she was pissed at me. Making a change like that is not gonna be a barrel of laughs.

No it isn't. But couldn't you think about her, just a bit?

Maybe she was trying to get you to change because she really liked you but you were a bit of a prick, so she was trying to make you more of a person.

And you got pissed at that?

You see, women, spats is proof that you can't change them, no matter how hard you try. So just quit trying. Whether they abuse you or ignore you (like spats does), they aren't gonna change. They aren't worth your time. Go find someone you deserve... someone who's gonna treat you like the woman you are... because these guy are never gonna do that... period.

[spats]

WTF?

What do you want from her? And do you honestly expect to get what you want from her if you don't give her what she wants? If she wants to spend time with you, spend some fucking time with her, for christ's sake! What's so fucking hard about that?

And BTW, I ain't got a routine, either. I eat when I eat and where I want to eat. But I had routines with my last girlfriend WHEN WE HAD DATES because you kinda half to. And you know what? I enjoyed it every time.

Let me put it to you like this. She is NOT gonna worship you if you don't worship her.

And do me a favor, don't take that literally. Like we have all been trying to tell you from the beginning, it's fucking give-and-take. You want sex? Drive her home. That simple. You can't get it, then you're either gay, retarted, really want to be alone the rest of your life, or your shittin' the hell out of us and gettin' a great laugh out of it.

... Good point...

I don't want anything from her that is unreasonable. I wouldn't ask her to do anything she didn't like doing. I don't want a lot or ask a lot from girlfriends. I am pretty easy to please. They don't have to do much to make me happy.

I liked spending time with her. But didn't like her trying to set up routines. She didn't just ask me if we could have dinner together. She wanted to have dinner at the dinner table at dinnertime every night. Not once in a while. Every night. Because that's how she grew up. I didn't grow up that way.

I agree it's give and take. But i have never had to drive a girlfriend home or do all the gentlemanly stuff to get sacktime. My girlfriends have been pretty cool for the most part. Things have been more casual. Most of the time we did that at my place.

[spats]

No it isn't. But couldn't you think about her, just a bit?

Maybe she was trying to get you to change because she really liked you but you were a bit of a prick, so she was trying to make you more of a person.

And you got pissed at that?

You see, women, spats is proof that you can't change them, no matter how hard you try. So just quit trying. Whether they abuse you or ignore you (like spats does), they aren't gonna change. They aren't worth your time. Go find someone you deserve... someone who's gonna treat you like the woman you are... because these guy are never gonna do that... period.

It's great if she loved me but you shouldn't try and change someone or try and get them into your routine. I wouldn't have moved into her place and said "let's do things this way instead" or "stop doing things the way you normally do it and do it this way". Or try and redecorate, etc.

"They aren't worth your time"??? A guy who won't change for a woman is not worth the woman's time? Nobody shoould be trying to change anyone in a relationship. Leave the person the way they are.