spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 You don't walk down the street with flowers. You call a place and have them delivered. It isn't about being old fashioned, it's about being nice, polite and having manners. Every once in awhile it's okay to put her on a pedestal, because believe or not she'll do the same for you. She probably won'y enjoy you sitting watching football with your buddies or whatever it you watch, but she'll let you. She may even cook food for all of you. You may not enjoy paying for her new pair of shoes but you should. I am not even doing that. You can be nice, and polite and have manners without getting flowers. And women don't put men on pedestal's. It's usually just the other way around. She will "let me" watch tv with my buddies???? No girlfriend of mine would have a say in what i watch on tv. That's not a good relationship. If i had a afternoon with my buddies over watching a sporting event i wouldn't have my girlfriend over. When my buddies have had us over for stuff like that the girlfriends and wives go out. So we can have our fun with no interference. Thankfully they aren't cooking for us. They aren't very good cooks for the most part. We order in pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 I go with gut instinct. Yeah, that's working awesomely for you. I am not fulfilling dreams.lol No kidding. Let's see women pulling out chairs for men! Anyone agree? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't mean let you in she has control of the tv. I mean it in she probably doesn't like it but doesn't complain out it. If you live with a girl (I mean a girlfriend, wifes, not like a daughter) chances are she does more than you think she does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 So Spats, what exactly is your problem? It sounds to me like you've got everything figured out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Yeah, that's working awesomely for you. No kidding. No. My gut instinct has helped me out tons. Why don't you think girls should do that for guys, Matt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 Why don't you think girls should do that for guys, Matt? I've explained this, Spats. Men and women have different things that are important to them. To girls, pulling out chairs is important, so I'll do it. I don't care about having a chair pulled out for me, so I don't want them to. But they can do something else that is important to me. Equal doesn't mean you do the same things for each other, it means you do the things that are important to the other person, even if they are different or you don't personally care about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't mean let you in she has control of the tv. I mean it in she probably doesn't like it but doesn't complain out it. If you live with a girl (I mean a girlfriend, wifes, not like a daughter) chances are she does more than you think she does. I tried letting a girlfriend move in with me but it didn't work out so i asked her to move out. I don't move in with my girlfriends. One of the reasons being the one you have been talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I've explained this, Spats. Men and women have different things that are important to them. To girls, pulling out chairs is important, so I'll do it. I don't care about having a chair pulled out for me, so I don't want them to. But they can do something else that is important to me. Equal doesn't mean you do the same things for each other, it means you do the things that are important to the other person, even if they are different or you don't personally care about them. What if having your chair pulled out for you was important to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Every guy should be kind to a woman he wants to hook up with. Just don't overdo it. Like Nathan was saying. 3 o4 dates you devote to her and then you will start to see something in return? No thank you. If you are doing all sorts of nice things for them and what you are getting in return isn't near the same level than it's just plain wrong. That's why in the early dating i make sure we are splitting the bill. Then if it doesn't go anywhere nobody has been taken for a ride. I will have no problem paying if we are a couple. Wow. You've totally ignored me, I see. THE FIRST DATE! The first date is about her. You really get her to fall for you on THAT ONE DATE, and you can tone it down a bit from there. Believe me. Put her on a pedestal on the first date and the first date alone, and you will get a lot of good back in return. Then it's just about being a gentlemen and being chivalrous from that point on. Treat her with respect and she will treat you with respect. Imagine the third or fourth date being all about you... she puts you on a pedestal. It's called patience. You only give when you get, spats, and all women your age will not give a damn thing until they get. As far as flowers... I got my last girlfriend flowers, but do you know when? I got them for her when I knew she was having a bad day. And it was never a bouquet, either. It was always a single tulip (her favorite flower). I would just knock on her door, knowing that she was having a bad day, for whatever reason, and surprise her with a tulip. And what would I get in return? Anything from seeing a movie of my choice to some hot nighttime action later in the evening, and a lot of times, both. In fact, once, that one single tulip to cheer her up actually got me what I consider the greatest date she's ever made about me. She got us both tickets to see a band called Days of the New live... a band she does not like but knows I enjoy immensely. Of course, I then returned the favor and took her to see Nickelback... and she knows I HATE Nickelback with a passion. In fact, she had been surprised I got the tickets. She never expected to get tickets from me, let alone actually go. But I did it for her because I loved her and because she had taken me to see Days of the New a week before. She suffered through DotN for me, so I suffered through Nickelback for her, and all because I cared about her enough to take her a single tulip when she felt bad. Here's a story for you. This comes from a member of Planet Zeppelin. She (this PZ member) met this guy who she really likes, and they just started dating. Well, not too long ago, she went on her second date with this guy. Knowing she likes Zep, he made a Zep-mix CD for them to listen to on the car ride. When they got in the car, he put on Going to California, took two small flowers, put them in her hair, and told her she could be his girl "with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair." Three days later, he visited her at her college with a gift... namely, an old picture of Jimmy Page in the White Dragon Suit sitting down in front of a drum set with his guitar and a cigarette in his mouth, signed by... Jimmy Page. And what does he get in return? Love, more dates, and, I'm sure, great nights. This guy is very happy, and so is she. Perhaps you should take a lesson from that, spats. When you give something to a woman, never expect the EXACT same thing back. They will repay you, but in a different way. For example, to me, getting sex in return for putting her on a pedestal was the perfect return, if not too much of a return. Girls will be chivalrous and ladylike to you, but not in the exact same way. You pull her chair out, she kisses you. You take her home and open her door, she invites you inside to "spend the night." That's how women return the favor. Because men and women want two different things. Women want a relationship. Men want sex. So we give them what they want, they'll give us what we want. That's how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 Really, I imagine you'd be so easy to live with, what with all the compromising and accomodating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 What if having your chair pulled out for you was important to you? then you're a homo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 then you're a homo No, i meant what if YOU wanted that. Would you expect her to do it for you? And should she? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 I know what you meant, if you want a girl to pull out your chair for you, you're a weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 No, i meant what if YOU wanted that. Would you expect her to do it for you? And should she? What Matt is trying to tell you is that more men will laugh at you for having her pull out your chair for you then they will for pulling her chair out for her because that's something men do for women, not vice-versa. If she pulls your chair out for you, I guarantee you every single guy who sees it will wonder if you're a closet homo... and chances are, so will she... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Wow. You've totally ignored me, I see. THE FIRST DATE! The first date is about her. You really get her to fall for you on THAT ONE DATE, and you can tone it down a bit from there. Believe me. Put her on a pedestal on the first date and the first date alone, and you will get a lot of good back in return. Then it's just about being a gentlemen and being chivalrous from that point on. Treat her with respect and she will treat you with respect. As far as flowers... I got my last girlfriend flowers, but do you know when? I got them for her when I knew she was having a bad day. And it was never a bouquet, either. It was a single tulip (her favorite flower). I would just knock on her door, knowing that she was having a bad day, for whatever reason, and surprise her with a tulip. And what wouyld I get in return? Anything from seeing a movieof my choice to some hot nighttime action later in the evening. I did buy her jewelry, but no where near as often. Here's a story for you. This comes from a member of Planet Zeppelin. She met this guy who she really likes, and they just started dating. Well, not too long ago, she went on her second date with this guy. Knowing she likes Zep, he made a Zep-mix CD for them to listen to on the car ride. When they got in the car, he put on Going to California, took a small flower, put it in her hair, and told her she could be his girl "with love in her eyes and flowers in his hair." Three days later, he visited her at her college with a gift... namely, an old picture of Jimmy Page in the White Dragon Suit sitting down infront of a drumset with his guitar and a cigarette in his mouth, signed by... Jimmy Page. And what does he get in return? Love, more dates, and, I'm sure, great nights. This guy is very happy, and so is she. Perhaps you should take a lesson from that, spats. I don't go out of my way to get any girl to fall for me. If she is out with you then she is already interested. I am not performing for her. If she likes what she see's fine, but that's i am not doing balancing acts for her. And again, i would want a girl that gets soft over flowers. I just find that silly. That example you gave me with the guy doing that stuff is what i am taking about. It looks like he was doing all the work. the mixed tape, playing the music, the flower the picture with the autograph. He had all that ready and what did she do? Just enjoyed it. I would never of done all of that. Just not me or my style. I am not a romantic person. If a girl does nice things for me i can soften up somewhat though. But never mushy romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't go out of my way to get any girl to fall for me. If she is out with you then she is already interested. I am not performing for her. If she likes what she see's fine, but that's i am not doing balancing acts for her. And again, i would want a girl that gets soft over flowers. I just find that silly. That example you gave me with the guy doing that stuff is what i am taking about. It looks like he was doing all the work. the mixed tape, playing the music, the flower the picture with the autograph. He had all that ready and what did she do? Just enjoyed it. I would never of done all of that. Just not me or my style. I am not a romantic person. If a girl does nice things for me i can soften up somewhat though. But never mushy romance. Re-respond... I edited my post... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 What Matt is trying to tell you is that more men will laugh at you for having her pull out your chair for you then they will for pulling her chair out for her because that's something men do for women, not vice-versa. If she pulls your chair out for you, I guarantee you every single guy who sees it will wonder if you're a closet homo... and chances are, so will she... Everyone here tells me to not worry what people think or how things look. Right? Well, if the guy wanted her waiting on him like that should she do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Everyone here tells me to not worry what people think or how things look. Right? Well, if the guy wanted her waiting on him like that should she do it? 1. Yes, we have been telling you that. But obviously you care, so I was just saying... 2. No woman will "wait" on a guy like that unless the guy is actually not dating a woman but... a man. Are you sure you aren't gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't know how to develop a "better attitude". The attitude is caused by bad experiences. Don't the experiences have to be good for the attitude to get better? NO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I tried it once when i was younger. And it was just too awkward, i was having to bend down all the time, etc. Things have always worked better when we had similar heights or not much of a difference. You can't be for real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 You can't be for real. That seems to be the consensus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I wouldn't want my friends making fun of me but that's besides the point. Height is a deal breaker. I know women and i think everyone knows women that will not date a guy that is shorter than her. Would you date a guy a foot shorter than you? The person said that a guy does not have to be good looking to a get a "good girlfriend". And i said that that's true. But i was talking about a "pretty girlfriend". Not just a good girlfriend. I don't know if they were taking looks in consideration. They just said a good girlfriend and made no mention of looks. For heavens sake, will you please stop finding reasons to fail? By the time you find someone who meets your stringent criteria, you'll both be dead!! The attitude has to change before the reality changes. Change your attitude!!! Find a way to do it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Really, I imagine you'd be so easy to live with, what with all the compromising and accomodating... After a week i had already had enough. We were seeing each other practically 24/7 , she was wanting us to eat dinner at the dinner table every night at the tradtional dinnertime, etc,. I could already see a pattern developing. So i ended the arrangement pretty quickly. And when i asked her to move out you would have thought i was breaking up with how pissed she got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Wow. You've totally ignored me, I see. THE FIRST DATE! The first date is about her. You really get her to fall for you on THAT ONE DATE, and you can tone it down a bit from there. Believe me. Put her on a pedestal on the first date and the first date alone, and you will get a lot of good back in return. Then it's just about being a gentlemen and being chivalrous from that point on. Treat her with respect and she will treat you with respect. Imagine the third or fourth date being all about you... she puts you on a pedestal. It's called patience. You only give when you get, spats, and all women your age will not give a damn thing until they get. As far as flowers... I got my last girlfriend flowers, but do you know when? I got them for her when I knew she was having a bad day. And it was never a bouquet, either. It was always a single tulip (her favorite flower). I would just knock on her door, knowing that she was having a bad day, for whatever reason, and surprise her with a tulip. And what would I get in return? Anything from seeing a movie of my choice to some hot nighttime action later in the evening, and a lot of times, both. In fact, once, that one single tulip to cheer her up actually got me what I consider the greatest date she's ever made about me. She got us both tickets to see a band called Days of the New live... a band she does not like but knows I enjoy immensely. Of course, I then returned the favor and took her to see Nickelback... and she knows I HATE Nickelback with a passion. In fact, she had been surprised I got the tickets. She never expected to get tickets from me, let alone actually go. But I did it for her because I loved her and because she had taken me to see Days of the New a week before. She suffered through DotN for me, so I suffered through Nickelback for her, and all because I cared about her enough to take her a single tulip when she felt bad. Here's a story for you. This comes from a member of Planet Zeppelin. She (this PZ member) met this guy who she really likes, and they just started dating. Well, not too long ago, she went on her second date with this guy. Knowing she likes Zep, he made a Zep-mix CD for them to listen to on the car ride. When they got in the car, he put on Going to California, took two small flowers, put them in her hair, and told her she could be his girl "with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair." Three days later, he visited her at her college with a gift... namely, an old picture of Jimmy Page in the White Dragon Suit sitting down in front of a drum set with his guitar and a cigarette in his mouth, signed by... Jimmy Page. And what does he get in return? Love, more dates, and, I'm sure, great nights. This guy is very happy, and so is she. Perhaps you should take a lesson from that, spats. When you give something to a woman, never expect the EXACT same thing back. They will repay you, but in a different way. For example, to me, getting sex in return for putting her on a pedestal was the perfect return, if not too much of a return. Girls will be chivalrous and ladylike to you, but not in the exact same way. You pull her chair out, she kisses you. You take her home and open her door, she invites you inside to "spend the night." That's how women return the favor. Because men and women want two different things. Women want a relationship. Men want sex. So we give them what they want, they'll give us what we want. That's how it works. Well i have gotten sex in the past without having to do all of that. Take her home and open the door??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 For heavens sake, will you please stop finding reasons to fail? By the time you find someone who meets your stringent criteria, you'll both be dead!! The attitude has to change before the reality changes. Change your attitude!!! Find a way to do it!! You mean do the exact opposite of what i normally do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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