Is chivalry dead?

[Sathington Willoughby]

I was hoping for rational discussions.

I felt like you were being a bit snarky towards me but perhaps I was mistaken.

I don't get why you seem iffended by my comments about my husband, I am just using his behaviour as an example.

Maybe we can start over? Cheers.

lol I see you've met Badgeholder Still slave. He takes anyone's opinion that is different than his as some perceived personal slight.

[Deborah J]

Hi STZ! :-)

I hope this is a rational answer as you deserve that:-) Chivalry should be in all people. Courtesy,generosity should be in all of us. I was raised that if an elder person was standing I should gladly give up my seat and offer it to them out of respect.

Honestly most of the human race no longer considers being kind to fellow humans IMHO.

This is why for me I honestly for the most part prefer the animal kingdom. In so many ways they are much better than humans.

[mack]

Hi STZ! :-)

I hope this is a rational answer as you deserve that:-) Chivalry should be in all people. Courtesy,generosity should be in all of us. I was raised that if an elder person was standing I should gladly give up my seat and offer it to them out of respect.

Honestly most of the human race no longer considers being kind to fellow humans IMHO.

This is why for me I honestly for the most part prefer the animal kingdom. In so many ways they are much better than humans.

Agreed 100%!

So called "civilized" society is becoming increasingly less civilized, male and female.

[SteveAJones]

This is why for me I honestly for the most part prefer the animal kingdom. In so many ways they are much better than humans.

If I understand correctly, you're a cougar?

[slave to zep]

lol I see you've met Badgeholder Still slave. He takes anyone's opinion that is different than his as some perceived personal slight.

Oh I see. I didn't realise he had this kind of reputation. Thanks

Hi STZ! :-)

I hope this is a rational answer as you deserve that:-) Chivalry should be in all people. Courtesy,generosity should be in all of us. I was raised that if an elder person was standing I should gladly give up my seat and offer it to them out of respect.

Honestly most of the human race no longer considers being kind to fellow humans IMHO.

This is why for me I honestly for the most part prefer the animal kingdom. In so many ways they are much better than humans.

Thank you Debs

Yeah I also agree with you there. ♥

Agreed 100%!

So called "civilized" society is becoming increasingly less civilized, male and female.

and it's scary. How bad can it get?

If I understand correctly, you're a cougar?

Stupid, insensitive remark, but quite as expected.

[Disco Duck]

This question does not come up in Japan because the Japanese are well renowned for being among the most polite people in the world. However, whenever I leave this island paradise for ANY destination elsewhere in the world I'm always reminded that there are still plenty of rude, self-absorbed and flat out inconsiderate people on this planet.

Personally, when elsewhere I do my best to uphold the high societal etiquette standards I've become accustomed to residing here, but it's downright aggravating to hold a door open for someone as a matter of common courtesy and have that gestured ignored, and even worse to get criticized for doing so by some self-righteous feminist. A recent study sheds light on this mentality:

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2015/03/11/polite-chivalrous-men-are-benevolent-sexists-and-may-not-even-know-it-claim-researchers/

Just say thank you...or even thanks...and move on.

I've been a feminist since I was eight years old and decided girls shouldn't defer to boys just because they are male. Yet, I always smile and say thank you when anyone is considerate enough to open a door for me. That's just good manners. Contrary to what you may believe, good manners and feminism aren't mutually exclusive. IMO, the study discussed in the linked article may have some validity if the methodology and data analysis are sound. Sexism, like racism, can have both hostile and benevolent sides. However, just as a benevolent dictator is still a dictator, a benevolent sexist is still a sexist.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Disco Duck

[Disco Duck]

...but you cannot tell which man holding open a door does so out of politeness, and which does so out of benevolent sexism.

So again I suggest just say thank you...or even thanks...and move on.

Which is exactly what I do. Perhaps you should have read my post more carefully before you responded to it.

[Anjin-san]

No your an idiot.

[Sathington Willoughby]

No your an idiot.

*you're

[slave to zep]

No your an idiot.

Woah, where did that come from!

*you're

[planted]

Just hold the damn door open...for everyone.

And say THANK YOU if its held for you. And for gods sake, SMILE.

Jeeze.

[mack]

Just hold the damn door open...for everyone.

And say THANK YOU if its held for you. And for gods sake, SMILE.

Jeeze.

Thank you Planted!

Courtesy should be extended to all, and that courtesy should be acknowledged in kind.

Whether it's male/female, young/old, healthy/disabled. It's all the same.

Common frigging courtesy!!!

[slave to zep]

Just hold the damn door open...for everyone.

And say THANK YOU if its held for you. And for gods sake, SMILE.

Jeeze.

Thank you Planted!

Courtesy should be extended to all, and that courtesy should be acknowledged in kind.

Whether it's male/female, young/old, healthy/disabled. It's all the same.

Common frigging courtesy!!!

YES!!!!!

[Plantpothead]

I was brought up to be polite, so holding a door open is just in my nature, whether it's a man or a woman. I don't consider it to be chivalrous, just a way of life, I also always say "after you" if people are getting on a bus, or entering buildings etc etc.

[apantherfrommd]

Hi "Slavetozep". How's it going? To answer the question of your thread, no chivalry isn't dead, although knighthood is (compared to what it was many moons ago).

What I do, I don't care to say. I'm too humble and don't care for an "atta boy" pat on my back. I'm just me.

That being said, I think it's sad that chivalry can also be deemed as sexist. I like what Disco Duck had to say (coming from a feminist as that member states that they are). However, all feminists are not as opened minded. I could care less personally. It's not gonna change me.

What I do in courtesy for others comes from me trying to make this place, we call home, a little nicer. It should come from within people's hearts and souls. We all have a hard enough time from day to day, ya know? I'm glad to offer what I can to people. I know what it feels like to have that extra strain on you to carry that extra strain on your shoulders. Sometimes that extra strain can be the "straw that broke the camel's back". You never know. We live in a stressful world. There's not as many people today willing to go the extra mile for someone else. But there are still some, "slave to zep".

Nowadays, in modern societies that we know, people put themselves ahead of everyone else. People are arrogant. People are selfish. It's a sign of the times, so to speak. And many times when people do for someone else, it goes unappreciated. I think it turns some people off that are expecting a "thank you" or something.

But, no, it's not dead. Just a lot less.

[Disco Duck]

What's the suicide rate on your first dates?

Zero. Can you say the same?

[SteveAJones]

Zero. Can you say the same?

They only kill themselves if I don't offer a second date.

[osoz]

Just hold the damn door open...for everyone.

And say THANK YOU if its held for you. And for gods sake, SMILE.

Jeeze.

Been following this thread for a while, and that is it all that needs to be said. Plenty of people are just plain rude and we notice them more, I think that is what it is about.

Some selfish moron boxed my car in the other week. A total stranger spent 10 minutes of their time guiding me out inch by inch, I had to do like a 50 point turn to get the car out, they didn't have to help but they saw I was struggling.

That's what it is about, if we choose to be polite, helpful and normal to people, we can get by without the selfish idiots who can live in their own lonely existence.

[Walter]

Been following this thread for a while, and that is it all that needs to be said. Plenty of people are just plain rude and we notice them more, I think that is what it is about.

Some selfish moron boxed my car in the other week. A total stranger spent 10 minutes of their time guiding me out inch by inch, I had to do like a 50 point turn to get the car out, they didn't have to help but they saw I was struggling.

That's what it is about, if we choose to be polite, helpful and normal to people, we can get by without the selfish idiots who can live in their own lonely existence.

[IpMan]

What's the suicide rate on your first dates?

See, chivalry at it's best...now this guy is a real keeper.

[slave to zep]

Been following this thread for a while, and that is it all that needs to be said. Plenty of people are just plain rude and we notice them more, I think that is what it is about.

Some selfish moron boxed my car in the other week. A total stranger spent 10 minutes of their time guiding me out inch by inch, I had to do like a 50 point turn to get the car out, they didn't have to help but they saw I was struggling.

That's what it is about, if we choose to be polite, helpful and normal to people, we can get by without the selfish idiots who can live in their own lonely existence.

Yes, that's all it takes - some consideration of your fellow humans, not hard!

I am always disappointed when walking through a busy shopping centre of similar, and I am ALWAYS the one to step aside for the other person, be it male, female, young, old..... some people just barge on through.....

[Pagefan55]

Personally, I draw a sharp distinction between people who are "thoughtless" and people who are "jerks." Over the years, I've known many good people who were "thoughtless" -- many of these people were under a great deal of stress in their lives -- job stress, marital stress, child stress, divorce stress, financial stress, etc. "Jerks" are different. I typically deal with jerks either by winning them over -- by being "nice and charming"; or I circumvent them completely, or I openly confront and defeat them. (This last strategy is risky -- it can lead to serious confrontations -- so I generally try to avoid it.) In truth, many "jerks" are in a tremendous amount of emotional pain -- they may have suffered from terrible childhoods, etc, -- so most should be pitied rather than hated.

[Pagefan55]

." It also could be argued that the number of pure fair virgin maidens is, sadly, on the decline."

Another misogynist remark.

It's true, though. I've known a fair number of women in their 20's and 30's who have had 20 or 30 lovers. The concept of "virtue" seems to have been lost on these women.

[IpMan]

It's true, though. I've known a fair number of women in their 20's and 30's who have had 20 or 30 lovers. The concept of "virtue" seems to have been lost on these women.

IMO virtue is a condition of the mind, not the body. Why is it that men are considered studs if they sleep around or called lothario yet a woman is a slut if she enjoys casual sex? That does not seem fair. As long as a person uses protection what they do between the sheets and with whom is none of my concern.

I have met many a good woman, and man for that fact, who have had around 30 partners by age 30. Most because they were busy with education & career and did not want to settle down in a committed relationship until they were ready. They were honest with their partners so what is the problem?

Funny thing is when I was dating the two questions I never asked these women were: hey, are you a virgin? and, how many dudes or ladies have you slept with? Who cares? It reminds me of that movie Chasing Amy, just a shallow, small minded view, not to mention rather misogynistic.

[Walter]

Exactly, IpMan, exactly!