Is chivalry dead?

[Reggie29]

Courtesy costs nothing, virtue is its own reward and both are priceless.

Chivalry is an often misused definiton for good manners.

It was a code of conduct for medieval knights of the crusades in the treatment of all, women and men alike regardless of race, creed, colour or religion.

It's a shame it died out centuries ago.

[slave to zep]

courtesy, manners, respect for others ..... that's what it's all about.

here's a little tip for daily use..... when a service worker says "how are you?"or "hi, how's it going?" etc, don't reply " five slices of bacon "..... because that is what I get all the time. Mind you, I do also get some lovely people to serve. Sometimes when a customer doesn't acknowledge my "how are you?" with at least a smile or a "good thanks ", I will push them and say "so, are you good today?" and it usually makes them think of how rude they were - but not always!

Honestly, I feel like customers - people are so demanding and bloody impatient that they cannot give the smallest slice of good manners..... so sad.

I mean, good manners cost nuffing, don't they?

[mack]

courtesy, manners, respect for others ..... that's what it's all about.

here's a little tip for daily use..... when a service worker says "how are you?"or "hi, how's it going?" etc, don't reply " five slices of bacon "..... because that is what I get all the time. Mind you, I do also get some lovely people to serve. Sometimes when a customer doesn't acknowledge my "how are you?" with at least a smile or a "good thanks ", I will push them and say "so, are you good today?" and it usually makes them think of how rude they were - but not always!

Honestly, I feel like customers - people are so demanding and bloody impatient that they cannot give the smallest slice of good manners..... so sad.

I mean, good manners cost nuffing, don't they?

Oh my! You work in the service industry.

I did the same putting myself through school

No wonder you started this topic - you see illmannered jerks multiple times a day!

My

[Disco Duck]

courtesy, manners, respect for others ..... that's what it's all about.

here's a little tip for daily use..... when a service worker says "how are you?"or "hi, how's it going?" etc, don't reply " five slices of bacon "..... because that is what I get all the time. Mind you, I do also get some lovely people to serve. Sometimes when a customer doesn't acknowledge my "how are you?" with at least a smile or a "good thanks ", I will push them and say "so, are you good today?" and it usually makes them think of how rude they were - but not always!

Honestly, I feel like customers - people are so demanding and bloody impatient that they cannot give the smallest slice of good manners..... so sad.

I mean, good manners cost nuffing, don't they?

I feel your pain. During my college and grad student days I waited tables at a Pizza Hut, worked the front desk and switchboard at a Holiday Inn and sold clothes at a Limited store. I'll take college students and faculty any day over the "problem customers" I encountered at my service industry jobs. Problem customers weren't the worst thing about these jobs, imo. The suits in these industries expect line level employees to jump through hoops while cheerfully smiling all the while for chump change.

[slave to zep]

Oh my! You work in the service industry.

I did the same putting myself through school

No wonder you started this topic - you see illmannered jerks multiple times a day!

My

Ha ha, yes all day ..... but as I said, lots of nice ones too

another one that gets me is when a customer seems in such a rush, because they are giving you that "hurry up and serve me NOW " look, and they have waited a whole 30 seconds or so, and then after they have been served, they stroll leisurely away - not in any hurry at all! Older people are the worst at this - I mean, they have no job to race off to!

I feel your pain. During my college and grad student days I waited tables at a Pizza Hut, worked the front desk and switchboard at a Holiday Inn and sold clothes at a Limited store. I'll take college students and faculty any day over the "problem customers" I encountered at my service industry jobs. Problem customers weren't the worst thing about these jobs, imo. The suits in these industries expect line level employees to jump through hoops while cheerfully smiling all the while for chump change.

thanks DD, I guess you know all about it

Why do some normal. rational people turn into impatient, rude bastards when they are a customer????

[IpMan]

another one that gets me is when a customer seems in such a rush, because they are giving you that "hurry up and serve me NOW " look, and they have waited a whole 30 seconds or so, and then after they have been served, they stroll leisurely away - not in any hurry at all! Older people are the worst at this - I mean, they have no job to race off to!

Ha, I know what you mean with the elderly. WTF happened to that generation???? When I was growing up the elderly were the WWI vets, born in the late 19th century and they were always kind, helpful, full of wisdom, and just a joy in general. The "grumpy old man" was the exception. Now it seems the kindly and wise old-timers are rarely seen, they are mostly all grumpy. I don't know what they have to complain about, they have social security and mostly free healthcare plus a better standard of living than any time before. Shit, by the time I am ready to retire in 18 years social security and Medicare will be a distant memory and soilent green will be gourmet dining.

If I were from the Vietnam generation I would be happy as all hell: experiencing free love - check; no AIDS - check; weed legal for a good eight years (63-71) - check; awesome music everywhere - check. Unless they were black they had it damn good, which brings me to my next question. The happy elderly folk I do run into are consistently minorities. The people who have every reason to complain are happy and the people who have no reason to complain are pissy...WTF???

[ScarletMacaw]

courtesy, manners, respect for others ..... that's what it's all about.

here's a little tip for daily use..... when a service worker says "how are you?"or "hi, how's it going?" etc, don't reply " five slices of bacon "..... because that is what I get all the time. Mind you, I do also get some lovely people to serve. Sometimes when a customer doesn't acknowledge my "how are you?" with at least a smile or a "good thanks ", I will push them and say "so, are you good today?" and it usually makes them think of how rude they were - but not always!

Honestly, I feel like customers - people are so demanding and bloody impatient that they cannot give the smallest slice of good manners..... so sad.

I mean, good manners cost nuffing, don't they?

I don't know. I find meaningless pleasantries to be...meaningless. I know the person behind the counter is someone I might never see again and they don't care how I am so why are they asking? I don't consider a meaningless question that no one ever answers honestly to be courtesy. A courteous clerk or salesperson is someone who does his/her job well and my response to that is "thank you." I sometimes engage in conversation with the guy at the local corner store because I see him several times a week. Otherwise I don't converse with salespeople because that just holds up the line.

[slave to zep]

I don't know. I find meaningless pleasantries to be...meaningless. I know the person behind the counter is someone I might never see again and they don't care how I am so why are they asking? I don't consider a meaningless question that no one ever answers honestly to be courtesy. A courteous clerk or salesperson is someone who does his/her job well and my response to that is "thank you." I sometimes engage in conversation with the guy at the local corner store because I see him several times a week. Otherwise I don't converse with salespeople because that just holds up the line.

I think you should read my post again......

I expect to be treated like a human being , whether you know me or not!

If I am rude to you, then be my guest and be rude right back!

If I am pleasant and polite to you, then I think you should be able to find the time to mutter "good thanks" whether or not you mean it.

I DO do my job well, and saying hello does not hold up any line.

I don't work on a check out, I am in a deli where people have to tell me what they want, and I sometimes chat to them while I am getting their order. If I only get a "hi" or "hello" , that's perfectly fine, no worries. It's when I get absolutely nothing other than "five slices of bacon " .... not even please or thank you, that's when I think they are rude.

If you are one of those people, then , "thank you, have a nice day " ( whether I mean it or not ..... )

edited to add

[Badgeholder Still]

I think you should read my post again......

I expect to be treated like a human being , whether you know me or not!

If I am rude to you, then be my guest and be rude right back!

If I am pleasant and polite to you, then I think you should be able to find the time to mutter "good thanks" whether or not you mean it.

I DO do my job well, and saying hello does not hold up any line.

I don't work on a check out, I am in a deli where people have to tell me what they want, and I sometimes chat to them while I am getting their order. If I only get a "hi" or "hello" , that's perfectly fine, no worries. It's when I get absolutely nothing other than "five slices of bacon " .... not even please or thank you, that's when I think they are rude.

If you are one of those people, then , "thank you, have a nice day " ( whether I mean it or not ..... )

edited to add

You are one angry broad chick female specimen. You don't think people who deal with you at your job can't sense and aren't reacting to that? You've had to go on for three weeks about this, about rude people, and haven't been able to humor any perspective that hasn't been a carbon copy of your own. You've got your own blinders on and aren't considering that often others have legitimate reasons for not being sociable. Bottom line is that customer service is about the customer. It's not about them meeting your needs. It's a tough and often thankless job and it's not for everyone.

Maybe it's time for you to accept humanity for what it is, what is has always been and what it will always be. When exactly were things so idyllc? During the Dark Ages? Or the Spanish Inquisition? During all of the worldwide religous wars and civil wars? During witch trials or the genocide of Native America? During the Holocaust? Cambodia? Bosnia? The nothing if not polite human race. Who only inside of the last 150 years considered letting women and minorities vote, own land and hold office. Get some perspective and realize that we are living in the most civilized and comfortable time humans have known. In spite of continued war, slavery, and murder for money, power and spite. Do you live in a war zone? Do you have food to eat? You have a significant other who doesn't beat you and respects you? You have oodles of time to kill on internet forums? What's the real problem?

You should be comforted by the fact that you're doing the right thing. Instead, you're enraged by the reactions of others. If doing the right thing isn't working for you, making you happy, then what gives you the right to demand it of others?

[IpMan]

You are one angry broad chick female specimen. You don't think people who deal with you at your job can't sense and aren't reacting to that? You've had to go on for three weeks about this, about rude people, and haven't been able to humor any perspective that hasn't been a carbon copy of your own. You've got your own blinders on and aren't considering that often others have legitimate reasons for not being sociable. Bottom line is that customer service is about the customer. It's not about them meeting your needs. It's a tough and often thankless job and it's not for everyone.

Maybe it's time for you to accept humanity for what it is, what is has always been and what it will always be. When exactly were things so idyllc? During the Dark Ages? Or the Spanish Inquisition? During all of the worldwide religous wars and civil wars? During witch trials or the genocide of Native America? During the Holocaust? Cambodia? Bosnia? The nothing if not polite human race. Who only inside of the last 150 years considered letting women and minorities vote, own land and hold office. Get some perspective and realize that we are living in the most civilized and comfortable time humans have known. In spite of continued war, slavery, and murder for money, power and spite. Do you live in a war zone? Do you have food to eat? You have a significant other who doesn't beat you and respects you? You have oodles of time to kill on internet forums? What's the real problem?

You should be comforted by the fact that you're doing the right thing. Instead, you're enraged by the reactions of others. If doing the right thing isn't working for you, making you happy, then what gives you the right to demand it of others?

When were they that way? Let's see, when I was growing up in the 70's if I did not say please and thank you, if I ever uttered the phrase "I want" instead of "I would like," my parents would ground me for a good week or more. People used to hold the door for others. People used to be cordial to one another. This was not some Xanadu shit we are talking about, this is recent history.

If asking for simple pleasantries is too much for you than that is your fault, not the person trying to make your day a little better. If your wife or boyfriend or whatever shits in your cheereo's that morning, please don't take it out on the rest of the world, it's not our fault nor our burden.

If you cannot display simple manners in your day to day life, I feel sorry for you. God forbid one is friendly and kind to their fellow human being, after all we don't want THAT kindness shit to spread, otherwise we may have a chance of actually reaching our human potential.

[Walter]

How dare you expect common human courtesy? After all, you are working for that customer and therefore are indentured to them!

[slave to zep]

When were they that way? Let's see, when I was growing up in the 70's if I did not say please and thank you, if I ever uttered the phrase "I want" instead of "I would like," my parents would ground me for a good week or more. People used to hold the door for others. People used to be cordial to one another. This was not some Xanadu shit we are talking about, this is recent history.

If asking for simple pleasantries is too much for you than that is your fault, not the person trying to make your day a little better. If your wife or boyfriend or whatever shits in your cheereo's that morning, please don't take it out on the rest of the world, it's not our fault nor our burden.

If you cannot display simple manners in your day to day life, I feel sorry for you. God forbid one is friendly and kind to their fellow human being, after all we don't want THAT kindness shit to spread, otherwise we may have a chance of actually reaching our human potential.

thank you. I am heartened to see that there are some lovely people out there, and indeed, in here

I am going to ignore the post from Badgeholder still, as I have been informed he is pretty much a troll.

You have said exactly how I feel - good manners are a way of life, and it seems to be dying.....

[slave to zep]

How dare you expect common human courtesy? After all, you are working for that customer and therefore are indentured to them!

ha ha, oh yes, I never forget that the customer is always right - read RARELY! lol, but I am always polite, even when I have had a shitty day, my back is aching and my feet burning.....

I did read badgeholders post, and it really upset me to see that he thinks I am an angry person. I actually have customers who only shop when I am there to serve them. They actually wait till I come back from a break because I give them the best service .....

[Badgeholder Still]

When were they that way? Let's see, when I was growing up in the 70's if I did not say please and thank you, if I ever uttered the phrase "I want" instead of "I would like," my parents would ground me for a good week or more. People used to hold the door for others. People used to be cordial to one another. This was not some Xanadu shit we are talking about, this is recent history.

If asking for simple pleasantries is too much for you than that is your fault, not the person trying to make your day a little better. If your wife or boyfriend or whatever shits in your cheereo's that morning, please don't take it out on the rest of the world, it's not our fault nor our burden.

If you cannot display simple manners in your day to day life, I feel sorry for you. God forbid one is friendly and kind to their fellow human being, after all we don't want THAT kindness shit to spread, otherwise we may have a chance of actually reaching our human potential.

Are you familiar with the idea that every generation thinks things were better in the good ol' days? Things weren't. It's an illusion. You had a sheltered bubble of a childhood so things were great for everyone? Do you really believe this? Ironically you're young enough to speak ill of older folks yet apparently old enough to think like them.

I don't condone or endorse bad behavior, but I do live in reality and accept reality. And I maintain resonable expectations of Human potential.

And just so it's crystal clear, your condescending faux politesse is more offensive than a middle finger. Are your parents responsible for that too?

A troll? No. Just someone who thinks for himself. Sorry that threatens you.

[ScarletMacaw]

I too was told by my grandmother, who would be 115 if she were alive, that "gimme gimme never gets" and one must say "I would like" and a few other things, such as "'hey' is for horses." I then moved to New York City in 1989 and no one here said "I would like" it was "gimme." However, I discovered that if are ever in trouble, a New Yorker will help you. My neighbor who I barely knew went to the store for me when I was sick, total strangers will pay your bus fare if you don't have enough money, and if you leave your laundry in the laundry room someone will fold it for you. Just last week I didn't have quite enough cash for the combo special at the dumpling place and some guy handed the cashier the difference. The world was surprised to see that numerous New Yorkers went down to the WTC site after 9-11 to do volunteer search and rescue, at risk to their lives. I learned some things are more important that exchanging polite phrases.

[Charles J. White]

No

[IpMan]

Are you familiar with the idea that every generation thinks things were better in the good ol' days? Things weren't. It's an illusion. You had a sheltered bubble of a childhood so things were great for everyone? Do you really believe this? Ironically you're young enough to speak ill of older folks yet apparently old enough to think like them.

I don't condone or endorse bad behavior, but I do live in reality and accept reality. And I maintain resonable expectations of Human potential.

And just so it's crystal clear, your condescending faux politesse is more offensive than a middle finger. Are your parents responsible for that too?

A troll? No. Just someone who thinks for himself. Sorry that threatens you.

No illusion, no bubble, simple observation. Sorry you are too feeble to know the difference and too boorish to understand manners. I guess your parents are responsible for that huh?

Grow up.

[slave to zep]

I too was told by my grandmother, who would be 115 if she were alive, that "gimme gimme never gets" and one must say "I would like" and a few other things, such as "'hey' is for horses." I then moved to New York City in 1989 and no one here said "I would like" it was "gimme." However, I discovered that if are ever in trouble, a New Yorker will help you. My neighbor who I barely knew went to the store for me when I was sick, total strangers will pay your bus fare if you don't have enough money, and if you leave your laundry in the laundry room someone will fold it for you. Just last week I didn't have quite enough cash for the combo special at the dumpling place and some guy handed the cashier the difference. The world was surprised to see that numerous New Yorkers went down to the WTC site after 9-11 to do volunteer search and rescue, at risk to their lives. I learned some things are more important that exchanging polite phrases.

So your grandmother taught you good manners, but because others around you were not polite, you changed? I think your grandmother was right.

There are pleasantries in day to day life that I feel are important, including a smile, a hello, a thank you, holding a door etc. These are the small things that do not cost anything, not even your time. These are things we all can do for each other, and sometimes it can change the whole day for someone, I have actually been told that by someone who I was pleasant to.....

In cases of emergency such as 9-11, people are of course going to help out one another. That is not quite the same as day to day exchanges.

[slave to zep]

No illusion, no bubble, simple observation. Sorry you are too feeble to know the difference and too boorish to understand manners. I guess your parents are responsible for that huh?

Grow up.

It is quite amazing that some people are opposed to good manners in a round about way, isn't it? Is it easier for them to just not engage with people?

[Kiwi_Zep_Fan87]

I have always been a firm believer of phrases such as "Pay It Forward" and "Be Kind To Your Fellow Human Beings". A very wise man on this very forum once said "One random act of kindness a day, keeps the blues away".

I have to ask. How long do you think it takes to smile at someone and say thank you, be it to a total stranger who has been kind to you or your local librarian who has helped you locate a book that you were in desperate need of or the lady at a deli who has been kind enough to smile and ask you about your day? A second? A micro second? It is not that hard you know?!

An incident occurred while I was at University, a couple of years ago that changed the way I regarded the importance of being kind to total strangers. I used to take the bus every day to get to Uni and to return home from Uni. Now, I have always been a firm believer of offering my seat on the bus to elderly folk or to pregnant ladies or to ladies with children.

One day, I had (as usual) boarded the bus and was on my way home. The bus was pretty crowded (all the seats were taken and there were many people who were standing) since it was late in the afternoon, what with many students from various parts of the Auckland University campus finishing up for the day and choosing to go home. Now, a pregnant lady boarded the bus and sadly, none of the younger folks seated right in front of the bus (which incidentally have seats with the most leg room) bothered to give up their seats. I could tell that she was struggling and I was seated in the middle and that's when I decided that it was my duty to help. So, I called out to her and I beckoned her to my seat and she sat down, visibly relieved and grateful.

Now, Auckland's weather can be very unpredictable. One minute, the sun beams down upon you and the next, there is excessive cloud cover with terrible wind and rain. It was the month of April and we were in the thick of winter. That particular day was pretty sunny and I was so pre-occupied with my work that I had forgotten to take an umbrella that day. As luck would have it, as the bus was nearing my stop, there was massive cloud cover and it began to rain, heavily! I knew that I was going to get drenched to the bone, upon climbing down from the bus but I just accepted my fate and got off! Within minutes of my getting down from the bus, I sensed someone coming up from behind me and tapping me on the shoulder and offering me her umbrella! And lo and behold, it was the lady from the bus! It turned out that she lived just a few apartments away from me and she even offered me some of her Vicks vapour rub to combat any nasal congestion and urged me to drink lemon tea after I got back home! Needless to say, I was stunned and incredibly touched by her kindness and before saying goodbye to each other, she winked and said "one good turn deserves another".

Bottom line : I could have easily thought to myself, "well, this lady is a total stranger and the chances of my ever meeting her again in my life are next to nothing. So, why on earth must I sacrifice my comfortable seat on the bus, for the sake of her convenience?!" This is the kind of train of thought which repulses me no end.

In light of some of the responses on this thread, I might be at the receiving end of some flack for saying this but nevertheless it has to be said: What with the age of selfies, smart phones, lack of family time and interaction, the philosophy of "I, Me, Myself - May My Fellow Beings Be Damned" and that sense of entitlement, I guess it is incredibly hard and pretty much a crime these days, to demand some sort of courtesy from your fellow beings (be it in the form of words or action!), even though you are willing to offer it.

This is my opinion and I cannot and will not be bullied into changing it.

[slave to zep]

I have always been a firm believer of phrases such as "Pay It Forward" and "Be Kind To Your Fellow Human Beings". A very wise man on this very forum once said "One random act of kindness a day, keeps the blues away".

I have to ask. How long do you think it takes to smile at someone and say thank you, be it to a total stranger who has been kind to you or your local librarian who has helped you locate a book that you were in desperate need of or the lady at a deli who has been kind enough to smile and ask you about your day? A second? A micro second? It is not that hard you know?!

An incident occurred while I was at University, a couple of years ago that changed the way I regarded the importance of being kind to total strangers. I used to take the bus every day to get to Uni and to return home from Uni. Now, I have always been a firm believer of offering my seat on the bus to elderly folk or to pregnant ladies or to ladies with children.

One day, I had (as usual) boarded the bus and was on my way home. The bus was pretty crowded (all the seats were taken and there were many people who were standing) since it was late in the afternoon, what with many students from various parts of the Auckland University campus finishing up for the day and choosing to go home. Now, a pregnant lady boarded the bus and sadly, none of the younger folks seated right in front of the bus (which incidentally have seats with the most leg room) bothered to give up their seats. I could tell that she was struggling and I was seated in the middle and that's when I decided that it was my duty to help. So, I called out to her and I beckoned her to my seat and she sat down, visibly relieved and grateful.

Now, Auckland's weather can be very unpredictable. One minute, the sun beams down upon you and the next, there is excessive cloud cover with terrible wind and rain. It was the month of April and we were in the thick of winter. That particular day was pretty sunny and I was so pre-occupied with my work that I had forgotten to take an umbrella that day. As luck would have it, as the bus was nearing my stop, there was massive cloud cover and it began to rain, heavily! I knew that I was going to get drenched to the bone, upon climbing down from the bus but I just accepted my fate and got off! Within minutes of my getting down from the bus, I sensed someone coming up from behind me and tapping me on the shoulder and offering me her umbrella! And lo and behold, it was the lady from the bus! It turned out that she lived just a few apartments away from me and she even offered me some of her Vicks vapour rub to combat any nasal congestion and urged me to drink lemon tea after I got back home! Needless to say, I was stunned and incredibly touched by her kindness and before saying goodbye to each other, she winked and said "one good turn deserves another".

Bottom line : I could have easily thought to myself, "well, this lady is a total stranger and the chances of my ever meeting her again in my life are next to nothing. So, why on earth must I sacrifice my comfortable seat on the bus, for the sake of her convenience?!" This is the kind of train of thought which repulses me no end.

In light of some of the responses on this thread, I might be at the receiving end of some flack for saying this but nevertheless it has to be said: What with the age of selfies, smart phones, lack of family time and interaction, the philosophy of "I, Me, Myself - May My Fellow Beings Be Damned" and that sense of entitlement, I guess it is incredibly hard and pretty much a crime these days, to demand some sort of courtesy from your fellow beings (be it in the form of words or action!), even though you are willing to offer it.

This is my opinion and I cannot and will not be bullied into changing it.

THANK YOU.

[Walter]

I have always been a firm believer of phrases such as "Pay It Forward" and "Be Kind To Your Fellow Human Beings". A very wise man on this very forum once said "One random act of kindness a day, keeps the blues away".

I have to ask. How long do you think it takes to smile at someone and say thank you, be it to a total stranger who has been kind to you or your local librarian who has helped you locate a book that you were in desperate need of or the lady at a deli who has been kind enough to smile and ask you about your day? A second? A micro second? It is not that hard you know?!

An incident occurred while I was at University, a couple of years ago that changed the way I regarded the importance of being kind to total strangers. I used to take the bus every day to get to Uni and to return home from Uni. Now, I have always been a firm believer of offering my seat on the bus to elderly folk or to pregnant ladies or to ladies with children.

One day, I had (as usual) boarded the bus and was on my way home. The bus was pretty crowded (all the seats were taken and there were many people who were standing) since it was late in the afternoon, what with many students from various parts of the Auckland University campus finishing up for the day and choosing to go home. Now, a pregnant lady boarded the bus and sadly, none of the younger folks seated right in front of the bus (which incidentally have seats with the most leg room) bothered to give up their seats. I could tell that she was struggling and I was seated in the middle and that's when I decided that it was my duty to help. So, I called out to her and I beckoned her to my seat and she sat down, visibly relieved and grateful.

Now, Auckland's weather can be very unpredictable. One minute, the sun beams down upon you and the next, there is excessive cloud cover with terrible wind and rain. It was the month of April and we were in the thick of winter. That particular day was pretty sunny and I was so pre-occupied with my work that I had forgotten to take an umbrella that day. As luck would have it, as the bus was nearing my stop, there was massive cloud cover and it began to rain, heavily! I knew that I was going to get drenched to the bone, upon climbing down from the bus but I just accepted my fate and got off! Within minutes of my getting down from the bus, I sensed someone coming up from behind me and tapping me on the shoulder and offering me her umbrella! And lo and behold, it was the lady from the bus! It turned out that she lived just a few apartments away from me and she even offered me some of her Vicks vapour rub to combat any nasal congestion and urged me to drink lemon tea after I got back home! Needless to say, I was stunned and incredibly touched by her kindness and before saying goodbye to each other, she winked and said "one good turn deserves another".

Bottom line : I could have easily thought to myself, "well, this lady is a total stranger and the chances of my ever meeting her again in my life are next to nothing. So, why on earth must I sacrifice my comfortable seat on the bus, for the sake of her convenience?!" This is the kind of train of thought which repulses me no end.

In light of some of the responses on this thread, I might be at the receiving end of some flack for saying this but nevertheless it has to be said: What with the age of selfies, smart phones, lack of family time and interaction, the philosophy of "I, Me, Myself - May My Fellow Beings Be Damned" and that sense of entitlement, I guess it is incredibly hard and pretty much a crime these days, to demand some sort of courtesy from your fellow beings (be it in the form of words or action!), even though you are willing to offer it.

This is my opinion and I cannot and will not be bullied into changing it.

Great post, Kiwi!

I worked in the hospitality industry for a number of years while in high school and college. Being generally kind to others is part of my overall attitude. My wife is always blown away when she goes to our usual local grocery store or take out restaurant in my place and they treat her like royalty because she is my wife and the know me well. It's not like I'm in there kissing ass, just being pleasant and friendly to them and they remember my name when I call in an order or immediately recognize my face when I walk in. It's just about treating others as you would want to be treated. Remember "the golden rule"? I don't do it for those favors, just that I remember being on the other side of the counter.

[slave to zep]

Great post, Kiwi!

I worked in the hospitality industry for a number of years while in high school and college. Being generally kind to others is part of my overall attitude. My wife is always blown away when she goes to our usual local grocery store or take out restaurant in my place and they treat her like royalty because she is my wife and the know me well. It's not like I'm in there kissing ass, just being pleasant and friendly to them and they remember my name when I call in an order or immediately recognize my face when I walk in. It's just about treating others as you would want to be treated. Remember "the golden rule"? I don't do it for those favors, just that I remember being on the other side of the counter.

and thank you, Walter. Nice to know that I am not alone, and yes of course you get treated the way you treat others. I have some customers just like you. We share a laugh or two, and I actually have the order for a couple of them ready when they come ( they always buy the same thing ), and they love that.

[Badgeholder Still]

So your grandmother taught you good manners, but because others around you were not polite, you changed? I think your grandmother was right.

There are pleasantries in day to day life that I feel are important, including a smile, a hello, a thank you, holding a door etc. These are the small things that do not cost anything, not even your time. These are things we all can do for each other, and sometimes it can change the whole day for someone, I have actually been told that by someone who I was pleasant to.....

In cases of emergency such as 9-11, people are of course going to help out one another. That is not quite the same as day to day exchanges.

Seriously, what is wrong with you? You haven't made your point yet? Taking offense to my bluntness is one thing but you continue to invalidate the differing viewpoints and personal experiences of others. You are clueless about courtesy and have no right to expect or demand anything of others. Courtesy is a two-way street and involes empathy. You're here looking for sympathy for yourself. If you are doing the "right things" you're doing them for all the wrong reasons. Righteous people do not champion themselves at every opportunity. They don't need to list all their good deeds and customer endorsements. Doing a good deed is supposed to be its own reward. Using this forum as a platform to create an idealized portrait of yourself for public display is self-serving. That goes for all the self righteous in this ridiculous virtual circle jerk of a thread.

[Walter]

and thank you, Walter. Nice to know that I am not alone, and yes of course you get treated the way you treat others. I have some customers just like you. We share a laugh or two, and I actually have the order for a couple of them ready when they come ( they always buy the same thing ), and they love that.

Yeah, one lady who works at our local grocery is a Dallas football fan, as am I, and we always talk about the previous week's game. Other join in to give us some crap or just talk football with us. He son is actually a local high school top notch player and I made it a point to watch him when the playoffs were on the tv this past November. It all started because she saw my hat and remembered my son. Funny how that stuff happens a lot.

Back to focus on the good manners out there. We were in the Bahamas this past week at a resort (where self-entitlement easily could've ruled the day) and all of the kids wanted to hold the doors for everyone, saying "excuse me" when their tube bumped into us incidentally while on the lazy river water rides, and "thank you" when they were helped. So obviously good manners are being instilled by their parents and gladly displayed by the children.

It's like this site. If we let the jerk-offs rule it, with their constant trolling, then this place wouldn't have the quality people and posts it does. They keep coming back time and time again, with new names, but the same jerk-off attitudes.