bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Hands up who despairs at the extent to which our beautiful language has been bastardised and brutalised. And hands up too if you haven't even noticed the deterioration. (Oh, and before anyone picks me up on it, I know that a sentence should never begin with 'and'. See how easy it is to slip up?) Some say that the very fabric of the English language is under grave threat from the current youth's penchant for l337 and forum-speak, but I say that there has been a clear and present danger for far longer. Schools just don't bother to teach proper English any more - in truth, they haven't done so for many years. Well, I am here to change all that. In another thread last night, a member was pontificating on the correct use of a certain grammatical device. The member claimed to take English very seriously, yet within their post I spotted at least two very basic grammatical mistakes. I didn't point out the poster's errors, but this comical scenario has given me the idea for this thread. My intention is to offer, completely free of charge, a Grammar Correctional Facility. This will entail the expansion of my thread perusal to incorporate polite, non-judgemental correction of grammatical and spelling mistakes, by means of the 'FTFY' device. Of course, not all of you will require this service, and some of you will even find it objectionable. Therefore, to avoid any unseemly altercations, I am prepared to grant a 24-hour window of opportunity for you to opt out. Please post here to do so, and I shall endeavour to exclude your posts from my steely gaze. On the other hand, some of you will be sufficiently astute and robust to recognise and accept that you are in dire need of my service - in which case, please feel free to opt in, thus allowing me to begin the healing process immediately. Thank you for your attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Hands up who despairs at the extent to which our beautiful language has been bastardised and brutalised. And hands up too if you haven't even noticed the deterioration. (Oh, and before anyone picks me up on it, I know that a sentence should never begin with 'and'. See how easy it is to slip up?) Some say that the very fabric of the English language is under grave threat from the current youth's penchant for l337 and forum-speak, but I say that there has been a clear and present danger for far longer. Schools just don't bother to teach proper English any more - in truth, they haven't done so for many years. Well, I am here to change all that. In another thread last night, a member was pontificating on the correct use of a certain grammatical device. The member claimed to take English very seriously, yet within their post I spotted at least two very basic grammatical mistakes. I didn't point out the poster's errors, but this comical scenario has given me the idea for this thread. My intention is to offer, completely free of charge, a Grammar Correctional Facility. This will entail the expansion of my thread perusal to incorporate polite, non-judgemental correction of grammatical and spelling mistakes, by means of the 'FTFY' device. Of course, not all of you will require this service, and some of you will even find it objectionable. Therefore, to avoid any unseemly altercations, I am prepared to grant a 24-hour window of opportunity for you to opt out. Please post here to do so, and I shall endeavour to exclude your posts from my steely gaze. On the other hand, some of you will be sufficiently astute and robust to recognise and accept that you are in dire need of my service - in which case, please feel free to opt in, thus allowing me to begin the healing process immediately. Thank you for your attention. You sir, have my approval! I am 23 years old and I do believe that there is nothing wrong in speaking correctly whether you are indeed speaking or typing out an email (or a forum post) or sending text messages! My friends have often told me to use "short forms" while texting! But I do find such "short forms" to be exceptionally annoying and pretty difficult to comprehend! I also find those "short forms" to be grammatically incorrect! I prefer to construct proper sentences while texting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMachine Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I'm from Brooklyn, think you can help? I'm glad you take this seriously, more kids should. I'll never forget my first impact with the proper English Language the first time I went to the UK, it was musical listening to such pronounciation and extended use of vocabulary. Where I grew up talk was simple and to the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Please correct my response: Bouillon, I gratefully accept your offer to help me improve my grammar and syntax, to a standard that would make even Electrophile and the Philistines proud. Your humble servant, Renfield. FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrycja Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 plank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 You, sir, have my approval! I am 23 years old, and I do believe that there is nothing wrong in speaking correctly, whether you are indeed speaking, typing out an email (or a forum post) or sending text messages! My friends have often told me to use "short forms" whilst texting! But I do find such "short forms" to be exceptionally annoying and pretty difficult to comprehend! I also find those "short forms" to be grammatically incorrect! I prefer to construct proper sentences whilst texting. FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I'm from Brooklyn, think you can help? I'm glad you take this seriously - more kids should. I'll never forget my first impact with the proper English Language the first time I went to the UK; it was musical listening to such pronunciation and extended use of vocabulary. Where I grew up, talk was simple and to the point. FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 plank I'll take that as an opt-out, shall I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 And Hi Boouillon, And can i hopted in please? And i wont u 2 corect all my graemar and speling mistakes as well, i'm not very good at doing English at the mo but i can reed and rite in Cockney kwite kwickly, any chance u could give me the once over as soon as posible as i have Bible and Choran Classes and i wooden want to miss dem as i like dem sow much? Kind Retards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 And Hi Boouillon, And can i hopted in please? And i wont u 2 corect all my graemar and speling mistakes as well, i'm not very good at doing English at the mo but i can reed and rite in Cockney kwite kwickly, any chance u could give me the once over as soon as posible as i have Bible and Choran Classes and i wooden want to miss dem as i like dem sow much? Kind Retards, Danny Hi BIGDAN If you're not going to take this seriously, I shall regrettably have to put you on ignore. Regards Bouillon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Hi BIGDAN If you're not going to take this seriously, I shall regrettably have to put you on ignore. Regards Bouillon And? I'm always serious in a humourous way, so get on with your good work my man and we'll say no more, OK? Kind Regards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Your....Yours....You're....yore. I like you're.....you may not like yours but I don't care. You're may not be shorter than 'you are' but I don't care about that either. It's the lazy way to say it, so I choose to write it the same. I'm all about lazy. Night, nite, knight......No, it's not a knight in white satin. That would be gay, and he wouldn't live very long. Would it be proper to wright at nite with only a light ? Ask Wilbur, he'll know. Hey Bouillon....no soup for you, and Zepplin rocks ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 plank That's funny ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic Fills the Air Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 One of the things I find particularly annoying in modern English is the misuse of apostrophes, especially in plural decades like the '1970's'. I see this misuse not only in students' essays, but also in advertising and even in newspapers. The authors should ask themselves, what purpose does this apostrophe serve? It's not ommissive or possessive, so it's not needed. I have to confess, I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie29 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Sadly, Grammar and Grampa died years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 One of the things I find particularly annoying in modern English is the misuse of apostrophes, especially in plural decades like the '1970's'. I see this misuse not only in students' essays, but also in advertising and even in newspapers. The authors should ask themselves, what purpose does this apostrophe serve? It's not omissive or possessive, so it's not needed. I have to confess, I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi! FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Melanie Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I accept. This should be fun. You ain't gonna change my American spellin' into that Brit spellin' aren't ya?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I accept. This should be fun. You ain't gonna change my American spellin' into that Brit spellin' are ya?? FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strider Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Yeth, I accepteth the challenge, too. Now, what I'd like you to do, bouillon, is correct one of my 1973 concert review posts over in the Master Forum. You can start with "Strider goes to Bonzo's Birthday Party". That should keep you busy and amused for some time. If it doesn't have you pulling your hair out in frustration before the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic Fills the Air Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 FTFY I'm sorry, but please could you explain what extactly you've 'fixed'. I see no problem with my spelling or use of the word 'omissive'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Melanie Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 FTFY What does FTFY mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strider Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I'm sorry, but please could you explain what extactly you've 'fixed'. I see no problem with my spelling or use of the word 'omissive'. You spelled omissive with two 'm's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic Fills the Air Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 What does FTFY mean? Fixed that for you. I had to look that one up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic Fills the Air Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 You spelled omissive with two 'm's. So I did. I'm feeling rather brain dead today after a very late night last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouillon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Yeth, I accepteth the challenge, too. Now, what I'd like you to do, bouillon, is correct one of my 1973 concert review posts over in the Master Forum. You can start with "Strider goes to Bonzo's Birthday Party". That should keep you busy and amused for some time, if it doesn't have you pulling your hair out in frustration before the end. FTFY. Your original sentence beginning with 'If' was not grammatically valid as it stood. I have seen and enjoyed your reviews, and found your grammar, spelling and syntax to be very pleasing. But since you've thrown down the gauntlet, I'll get some provisions in later and settle down for a damn good nit-pick . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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