Rock Action Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Dude, you don't gain confidence by getting rejected by girls. It just tells you that a lot of girls find you unappealing. That's not a morale booster when you are a teen. There is nothing positive to gain by that. Why would things be different now? I am not getting better looking as i get older. Things should be different because you're supposed to be older and wiser. And realize that most people grow out of that ridiculous phase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Dude, you don't gain confidence by getting rejected by girls. It just tells you that a lot of girls find you unappealing. That's not a morale booster when you are a teen. There is nothing positive to gain by that. Why would things be different now? I am not getting better looking as i get older. You have SO much to learn Spats. Who has a ton of confidence as a teen? Not many people. For most of us, we look back at our teen years as an awkward time when we were finding ourselves. Nobody is the same person in their 20's and 30's as when they were a teen. You gain life experience, and most of us gain some confidence as we get older. Was I a ladies' man as a teen? Not by a long shot. Did I do pretty well in my 20's? You bet I did. And self-confidence doesn't come strictly from scoring with girls, as you seem to think it does. If you think your self-confidence is strictly a measure of how much you were rejected as a teen, then that's sad, because no one would have much confidence if it was. And because of that attitude, you're ensuring a continuing cycle of rejection. Girls can smell a lack of confidence (I know, you say that's not your problem, but trust me, it is). Bottom line, if your self-esteem and self-confidence are based solely on how successful you were with girls as a teen, then you have some issues to resolve, because you're living in the ancient past and letting it affect your adult life when it shouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Things should be different because you're supposed to be older and wiser. And realize that most people grow out of that ridiculous phase. I have found that the dating scene is a different form of highschool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I have found that the dating scene is a different form of highschool. Then maybe you need to approach it differently? Like becoming good friends with a few ladies, instead of making it a "fishing expedition"? Be yourself, be friendly, be HONEST about who you are. The rest comes naturally. And if it takes a while, fine. It's worth the wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 You have SO much to learn Spats. Who has a ton of confidence as a teen? Not many people. For most of us, we look back at our teen years as an awkward time when we were finding ourselves. Nobody is the same person in their 20's and 30's as when they were a teen. You gain life experience, and most of us gain some confidence as we get older. Was I a ladies' man as a teen? Not by a long shot. Did I do pretty well in my 20's? You bet I did. And self-confidence doesn't come strictly from scoring with girls, as you seem to think it does. If you think your self-confidence is strictly a measure of how much you were rejected as a teen, then that's sad, because no one would have much confidence if it was. And because of that attitude, you're ensuring a continuing cycle of rejection. Girls can smell a lack of confidence (I know, you say that's not your problem, but trust me, it is). Bottom line, if your self-esteem and self-confidence are based solely on how successful you were with girls as a teen, then you have some issues to resolve, because you're living in the ancient past and letting it affect your adult life when it shouldn't. I don't think it's a self confidence issue. I am just being honest. My looks haven't improved since those days and a lot of women still care about looks, etc, etc even after high school is done. And when you are meeting and approaching women that is the first thing they go by. That's why i don't think the approaching results will be different then back in those days. I think i just know what i am good at and what i am not and know my limitations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Where's that "beating the dead horse smilie"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I don't think it's a self confidence issue. I am just being honest. My looks haven't improved since those days and a lot of women still care about looks, etc, etc even after high school is done. And when you are meeting and approaching women that is the first thing they go by. That's why i don't think the approaching results will be different then back in those days. I think i just know what i am good at and what i am not and know my limitations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 If something works for you do you drop it and do something that does not work for you at all? That's what i am trying to say. That's not being afraid. It's just using common sense. If it works for you...wtf are we doing here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joelmon Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Where's that "beating the dead horse smilie"? Better than a smilie..... I wish this could somehow be incorporated into the name of this subject, and a few others around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Then how is it a self confidence issue??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Then how is it a self confidence issue??? Because of the thing that's behind that wall...you can't see it very well, cause it's really tiny and cowering in a corner shaking uncontrollably. That's your self-confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Because of the thing that's behind that wall...you can't see it very well, cause it's really tiny and cowering in a corner shaking uncontrollably. That's your self-confidence. Knowing what you can and cannot do and being honest about your shortcomings is not showing lack of self confidence. It's just knowing yourself. Most people if they stink at something just don't do it. And you can't compare approaching women to playing pool. Approaching either works for you or it doesn't. It's not like a sport where you can actively try and get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Then maybe you need to approach it differently? Like becoming good friends with a few ladies, instead of making it a "fishing expedition"? Be yourself, be friendly, be HONEST about who you are. The rest comes naturally. And if it takes a while, fine. It's worth the wait. It is hard to make friends first with women at the clubs. Not the right atmosphere for that. I am usually friendly. Not overly friendly but friendly. You can't really be 100% honest about everything about yourself. I don't think anyone can. There are some things about myself that I will never reveal to anyone. Nothing horrible but just too personal. Hell, i wait a bit before i reveal my last name to girls. 1. because i don't like my last name and 2 you shouldn't be just throwing that out until you trust the person. I got into an argument with an ex because i wouldn't tell her my middle name. I have a lame middle name and i am a little embarrassed by it. My parents must have been drunk when they picked it. But she got pissed that it showed i didn't really care about her because i didn't want to say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 It is hard to make friends first with women at the clubs. Not the right atmosphere for that. I am usually friendly. Not overly friendly but friendly. You can't really be 100% honest about everything about yourself. I don't think anyone can. There are some things about myself that I will never reveal to anyone. Nothing horrible but just too personal. Hell, i wait a bit before i reveal my last name to girls. 1. because i don't like my last name and 2 you shouldn't be just throwing that out until you trust the person. I got into an argument with an ex because i wouldn't tell her my middle name. I have a lame middle name and i am a little embarrassed by it. My parents must have been drunk when they picked it. But she got pissed that it showed i didn't really care about her because i didn't want to say it. I'm not too thrilled with my middle name either, man. And I don't think it's necessary to divulge every tiny embarrassing detail in your past either. But if you have any serious skeletons in the closet you'd better 'fess up. If she finds out later from someone else...well, you don't want that, for sure. Of course, the above only applies if you think it's going to go somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm not too thrilled with my middle name either, man. And I don't think it's necessary to divulge every tiny embarrassing detail in your past either. But if you have any serious skeletons in the closet you'd better 'fess up. If she finds out later from someone else...well, you don't want that, for sure. Of course, the above only applies if you think it's going to go somewhere. I remember one time in public school on the first day of school the A-Hole teacher was calling out our names for attendance and you had to indicate who you were and he said my entire name, Including my middle name. and you could hear the giggles from some of the students. terrible. i have been self concious about my middle name since that time. I don't have have any serious skeletons but just a bunch of stuff i am never could tell to anyone i get involved with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Then how is it a self confidence issue??? Doesn't matter what I say Spats, I'm wasting my breath. I think everyone here can agree that you have self-confidence issues, and you're never going to believe it. So whatever... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Doesn't matter what I say Spats, I'm wasting my breath. I think everyone here can agree that you have self-confidence issues, and you're never going to believe it. So whatever... Because i think the approaching won't work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm not too thrilled with my middle name either, man. And I don't think it's necessary to divulge every tiny embarrassing detail in your past either. But if you have any serious skeletons in the closet you'd better 'fess up. If she finds out later from someone else...well, you don't want that, for sure. Of course, the above only applies if you think it's going to go somewhere. What beats me is how men can be embarrassed about unimportant shit like that...but have no qualms to fart in bed and then shove your head under the cover because that's so "funny"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 What beats me is how men can be embarrassed about unimportant shit like that...but have no qualms to fart in bed and then shove your head under the cover because that's so "funny"... You know grown men that do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 You know grown men that do that? You don't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 it's called a "Dutch Oven" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 You don't? ROFL it's called a "Dutch Oven" ^and it's fucking sick! Happens to me all the time. Thanks baby, I really appreciated that; and NO, I don't want to have sex now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spatdrastik Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hey Spats...my advice to you is don't piss off your hand...it'll spoil the one meaningful relationship you are ever likely to have(at least at the rate you seem to be going)... how long have you been making these absurd whiney posts, insisting you know everything and crying about how much your life sucks? it's either the hand or a blow up doll...take your pick ...neither one cares what your middle name is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I love how he says there's stuff he'll never tell someone he's involved with. I'll dump a man for lying to me and keeping secrets. And who gives a shit about your middle name? Mine is Ann. La-dee-da. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 ^ Again, shows a lack of self-confidence. If you're with someone, and you're scared to tell them your middle name because you're worried about what they'll think, or that they'll laugh, then you're not very secure with yourself. Refusing to tell your girlfriend your middle name just makes you look like a ridiculous child. Volley to you Spats, give me your lame rebuttal please... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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