Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[Virginia]

Any empathy for what? What evidence would you need that i could have a emotional connection?

Do you really think women have a radar for that? If they do how do you explain all the women that choose bad men?

You speak about women as though they were objects, not individual people with distinct personalities and feelings. You haven't demonstrated any concern or consideration for their feelings; only what they will and won't do for you.

Yes, we have the radar. The insensitivity of your last question completely illustrates my point.

[spats]

You speak about women as though they were objects, not individual people with distinct personalities and feelings. You haven't demonstrated any concern or consideration for their feelings; only what they will and won't do for you.

Yes, we have the radar. The insensitivity of your last question completely illustrates my point.

How? If women had this radar when it comes to men wouldn't they be able to avoid bad men? You hear women complain all the time about how they hook up with the wrong men. My female friends do it all the time. You always hear 'Where can i find a good man" and then they hook up with the opposite.

I usually treat people the way they treat me. I pretty much live by that. How are they looking out for my feelings? If someone is looking otu for my feelings i will look out for theirs. Why would you accept someones number if you are not going to call. There is an example. I wouldn't take someone's number if i was not going to call them. When you have pretty much the same experience with a lot of women you are going to look at them the same way. The same experience pretty much and the same result. You are going to see a pattern. I think that those women think the same way. What he is going to do for me.

[Virginia]

How? If women had this radar when it comes to men wouldn't they be able to avoid bad men? You hear women complain all the time about how they hook up with the wrong men. My female friends do it all the time. You always hear 'Where can i find a good man" and then they hook up with the opposite.

I usually treat people the way they treat me. I pretty much live by that. How are they looking out for my feelings? If someone is looking otu for my feelings i will look out for theirs. Why would you accept someones number if you are not going to call. There is an example. I wouldn't take someone's number if i was not going to call them. When you have pretty much the same experience with a lot of women you are going to look at them the same way. The same experience pretty much and the same result. You are going to see a pattern. I think that those women think the same way. What he is going to do for me.

What is that saying...insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I tried...

[wanna be drummer]

When you start dating a girl that does not physically attract you then say that. But Most people on this earth have to be physically attracted to someone they date.

Let me ask you something. have you ever seen those 700 lb guys on tv with their 500 lb. wives? They're married. Do you think they find each other physically attractive? Hmm? Or is there something deeper? I'm betting on the latter.

As far as I personally go, I think my girlfriend is hto but I know for a damn fact I could get hotter. Hell, I have gotten hotter. But that doesn't matter to me. My girlfriend would never cheat on me, she would never purposely hurt me in any way, be it physically or emotionally. Is she attractive? yeah. But is that the main reason I'm with her? No, not even close.

And food for thought, I have friends who don't consider their gf, or bf for that matter, really physically attractive. And yet they find love still.

Perhaps you should modernize your archaic beliefs and grow up

[spats]

What is that saying...insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I tried...

That's true. I have tried to do things differently. Giving my number out was different but the result was the same. I can't really control the results with them or the experience with them. I can't control how they act.

[spats]

Let me ask you something. have you ever seen those 700 lb guys on tv with their 500 lb. wives? They're married. Do you think they find each other physically attractive? Hmm? Or is there something deeper? I'm betting on the latter.

As far as I personally go, I think my girlfriend is hto but I know for a damn fact I could get hotter. Hell, I have gotten hotter. But that doesn't matter to me. My girlfriend would never cheat on me, she would never purposely hurt me in any way, be it physically or emotionally. Is she attractive? yeah. But is that the main reason I'm with her? No, not even close.

And food for thought, I have friends who don't consider their gf, or bf for that matter, really physically attractive. And yet they find love still.

Perhaps you should modernize your archaic beliefs and grow up

Would you be with her if you didn't find her physically attractive though? That's all i am asking. I am not saying their looks should be the main reason for hooking up with them but it should be one of the must haves. Among a handful of things.

Seriously? you have friends that don't find their girlfriends or boyfriends good looking? They have actually said that? I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think i was good looking. I would be miserable.

I don't think anyone should be with someone they don't think is physically attractive. I think the people that are in that situation it's because they just don't want to be alone otherwise I think they do actually find each other physically attractive. I can't imagine anyone being with someone they if they didn't like their looks.

[spats]

I went to my favorite sushi place last night by myself. Good meal as usual but i looked around and noticed i was the only one on my own. Everyone else was either in groups or were couples. Ugh. I should have asked a buddy to go along with me. Has anyone else experienced this when they have gone out to a restaurant??

[Ronniedawg]

Everyone has a unique quality that others may be attracted to. Some can find beauty in most people. I was with someone for 16 years that wasn't overly attractive (to others) but I found her to have very giving, pleasant, had a great personality and was very sexy......beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what someone may find "good looking", others may not.

[spats]

Everyone has a unique quality that others may be attracted to. Some can find beauty in most people. I was with someone for 16 years that wasn't overly attractive but I found pleasant, great personality and very sexy......beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what someone may find "good looking", others may not.

Did she know that you didn't think she was that pretty? I agree with that to some extent. But you still found her physically attractive even though others didn't? My point was that you can't hook with with someone who you don't find physically attractive. You have to like their looks. Whatever those looks may be.

[Ronniedawg]

Did she know that you didn't think she was that pretty? I agree with that to some extent. But you still found her physically attractive even though others didn't? My point was that you can't hook with with someone who you don't find physically attractive. You have to like their looks. Whatever those looks may be.

Yes, you have to like their looks, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I found her physically attractive even though others didn't. There no "standard", you cannot control love and its a good thing if she makes your sticker peck out!

[spats]

Yes, you have to like their looks, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I found her physically attractive even though others didn't. There no "standard", you cannot control love and its a good thing if she makes your sticker peck out!

What do you mean there is no standard? I don't agree that you can't control love. You can. You can control who you fall in love with and who you don't. I have done that plenty of times.

The last part is the most important part. If she does not rev the motor than pass on her.

[Katuschka]

You don't think there are million of girls that think that?

No. There may be millions of women who take advantage of the fact that many men will do it, though.

Well that are tons of girls in Toronto who think that? So it is only natural to assume that there are women like that in every city in the world. Those are just the odds.

Can't you read? Haven't I told you that you surround yourself with wrong people? Those "prettiest girls" in nice revealing clothes are the very opposite of your independent ideal. Clubs are meat parades, and I would assume that you're old enough to have learned that. Ever listened to Pink's Stupid Girls? Why are you so surprised that all the women in your life wanted something from you? They use their bodies in nice revealing clothes as a commodity and naturally expect you to pay for it.

You may not have set standards on what physically attracts you but i do for the most part. I am not into women of all shapes and sizes. I am more specific. I am into women who are in good shape , curvy, who are close to my height, with long hair. I wouldn't be able to hook up with a girl who exactly the opposite.

Yes, I know, and that's what many people in this thread criticize. You treat women as fuckable pieces of meat.

Would you hook up with a guy that was shorter than you and out of shape?

Shorter? I don't see it happening because I'm 5'2'' myself. Most people are taller than me. However, my answer is yes. I don't care about such trivialities.

Out of shape? When I started dating my current boyfriend, I wasn't physically attracted to him. I admit that. He's naturally a very handsome guy, but he had been going thought some hell and it showed. I've known him for a large part of my life, since we were eight (and I first fell in love with him when I was thirteen, but I won't bother you with the whole story..), and I must say he was just a shadow of he had been. Yes, he was even a little out of shape. It made me rather sad. All that was left were those beautiful eyes. But he's a nice, thoughtful, intelligent and interesting young man and I decided to give it a chance (again). The moments spent with him proved to be wonderful and I fell in love with him (again).

He's painfully handsome again now, by the way. And he says it's all my "fault".

[Katuschka]

I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think i was good looking. I would be miserable.

That only shows how perverted your vision of the world is.

[Katuschka]

Maybe some of the women commenting on this thread provide a list of what they look for in a man, give Spats an idea, an International poll of sorts.

Point form is fine

'Kay, should be fun.

- men who do not think that only gays can/are allowed to/do have emotions (it's not a crime to cry when you feel blue, you know)

- well-read men with a defined world view and intelligent opinions

- confident, but not stubborn; willing to listen to and accept a different opinion

- men with interesting or unusual interests

- caring

- tender

- strong

- preferably dark, longer hair

[spats]

No. There may be millions of women who take advantage of the fact that many men will do it, though.

Can't you read? Haven't I told you that you surround yourself with wrong people? Those "prettiest girls" in nice revealing clothes are the very opposite of your independent ideal. Clubs are meat parades, and I would assume that you're old enough to have learned that. Ever listened to Pink's Stupid Girls? Why are you so surprised that all the women in your life wanted something from you? They use their bodies in nice revealing clothes as a commodity and naturally expect you to pay for it.

Yes, I know, and that's what many people in this thread criticize. You treat women as fuckable pieces of meat.

Shorter? I don't see it happening because I'm 5'2'' myself. Most people are taller than me. However, my answer is yes. I don't care about such trivialities.

Out of shape? When I started dating my current boyfriend, I wasn't physically attracted to him. I admit that. He's naturally a very handsome guy, but he had been going thought some hell and it showed. I've known him for a large part of my life, since we were eight (and I first fell in love with him when I was thirteen, but I won't bother you with the whole story..), and I must say he was just a shadow of he had been. Yes, he was even a little out of shape. It made me rather sad. All that was left were those beautiful eyes. But he's a nice, thoughtful, intelligent and interesting young man and I decided to give it a chance (again). The moments spent with him proved to be wonderful and I fell in love with him (again).

He's painfully handsome again now, by the way. And he says it's all my "fault".

I agree that clubs suck. I am trying to stay away from those places. But as i said thats where most of the single pretty women hang out on the weekends. And considering the very quiet weekend i just had i might have to go back there unfortunately. This weekend was horrible. Being the only person eating alone in a restaurant was the low point. While my buddies were out having fun. One has a new girlfriend that he met down at harbourfront of all things. That just drives me nuts.He got a girlfriend pretty easily down there and with me the whole thing was a mess for the most part. It usually comes easier for my buddies.

I agree that a lot of club girls are like that but i find a lot of women in general are like that. It's hard to find humble and nice women too. And when you think you have met one they let you down in some way.

I don't understand the whole "you treat women as meat" line. I just don't get that.

Do you really think such things as height, in shaape or out of shape are trivialities??

I am glad you found someone. I hope the same thing happens for me.

[spats]

That only shows how perverted your vision of the world is.

How is that perverted vision. Would you be happy if your boyfriend didn't think you were good looking?

[wanna be drummer]

Would you be with her if you didn't find her physically attractive though? That's all i am asking. I am not saying their looks should be the main reason for hooking up with them but it should be one of the must haves. Among a handful of things.

Would I? Probably not. That's how we met in the first place.

Seriously? you have friends that don't find their girlfriends or boyfriends good looking?

They have actually said that?

Yes they have.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think i was good looking. I would be miserable.

And this is what disturbs me to no end. You wouldn't be upset. you would be miserable. You care wayyy too much about looks spats.

I don't think anyone should be with someone they don't think is physically attractive. I think the people that are in that situation it's because they just don't want to be alone otherwise I think they do actually find each other physically attractive. I can't imagine anyone being with someone they if they didn't like their looks.

How fucking dare you. Who in the hell are you to say that?

[spats]

Would I? Probably not. That's how we met in the first place.

Yes they have.

And this is what disturbs me to no end. You wouldn't be upset. you would be miserable. You care wayyy too much about looks spats.

How fucking dare you. Who in the hell are you to say that?

What do you mean that's How you met in the first place? You saw her and thought she was a hottie?

Yes i would be miserable if a girlfriend did not think i was good looking. I think everyone would like people to think they were good looking. Especially someone they were dating. Is this really surprising??

I am saying that because it's not really fair to that person if the person they are with does not find them good looking. They deserve someone who does find them good looking.

[Katuschka]

How is that perverted vision. Would you be happy if your boyfriend didn't think you were good looking?

No, I don't think it would make me feel happy, but it certainly wouldn't make me feel MISERABLE.

My boyfriend certainly does think I'm good looking. That's the point. I'm by no means a perfect ten and I'm below his "level of looks", but for him, I'm the most beautiful/sexy woman in the world.

[wanna be drummer]

What do you mean that's How you met in the first place? You saw her and thought she was a hottie?

No. She was a friend of a friend. My friend's name was Rita. She sort of got us together because she thought we looked good together. Friends don't put two unattractive people together...usually. I eventually asked her out. Voila

Yes i would be miserable if a girlfriend did not think i was good looking. I think everyone would like people to think they were good looking. Especially someone they were dating. Is this really surprising??

See BB's response

I am saying that because it's not really fair to that person if the person they are with does not find them good looking. They deserve someone who does find them good looking.

Oh, ok spats. I see. So, someone with a disease that causes, oh let's just say boils, on their face should never find love because it's not fair that they aren't pretty or handsome?

How can you not see how horrible that is to say?

[spats]

No. She was a friend of a friend. My friend's name was Rita. She sort of got us together because she thought we looked good together. Friends don't put two unattractive people together...usually. I eventually asked her out. Voila

See BB's response

Oh, ok spats. I see. So, someone with a disease that causes, oh let's just say boils, on their face should never find love because it's not fair that they aren't pretty or handsome?

How can you not see how horrible that is to say?

Who is BB??

I am glad your friend did a better job of setting you up than my friends have done with me. Mine have all been failures. I won't let them set me up anymore. You had no problem asking her out? No worries?

No i think someone who has that problem should find love with someone who thinks they are good looking despite that. I think everyone should be with someone who finds them good looking.

[wanna be drummer]

Who is BB??

Kat

I am glad your friend did a better job of setting you up than my friends have done with me. Mine have all been failures. I won't let them set me up anymore. You had no problem asking her out? No worries?

no worries at all. I liked her, why should I be scared? She says no then I find someone else. No big deal

No i think someone who has that problem should find love with someone who thinks they are good looking despite that. I think everyone should be with someone who finds them good looking.

Why?

[Dzldoc]

No. There may be millions of women who take advantage of the fact that many men will do it, though.

Shorter? I don't see it happening because I'm 5'2'' myself. Most people are taller than me. However, my answer is yes. I don't care about such trivialities.

Out of shape? When I started dating my current boyfriend, I wasn't physically attracted to him. I admit that. He's naturally a very handsome guy, but he had been going thought some hell and it showed. I've known him for a large part of my life, since we were eight (and I first fell in love with him when I was thirteen, but I won't bother you with the whole story..), and I must say he was just a shadow of he had been. Yes, he was even a little out of shape. It made me rather sad. All that was left were those beautiful eyes. But he's a nice, thoughtful, intelligent and interesting young man and I decided to give it a chance (again). The moments spent with him proved to be wonderful and I fell in love with him (again).

He's painfully handsome again now, by the way. And he says it's all my "fault".

You're a helluva woman kat your boyfriend is a lucky man

[spats]

Kat

no worries at all. I liked her, why should I be scared? She says no then I find someone else. No big deal

Why?

Wow. It would be a bigger deal to me if the woman says no. I am amazed that guys can just wipe it off. Have you ever been rejected? Didn't you want her to ask you out or didn't it bother you that she didn't?

I think almost everyone deserves to be happy and being found physically attractive by other people makes people happy.

[lzfan715]

Spats, no one enjoys rejection. In fact, we all think it sucks that is how life works. But you have to not live in the past.

Look at it like an internal GPS, it doesn't care where you've been. All that matters is where you are and where you are going.

You want a girlfriend? Forget what happened when you were a teenager and look ahead.