The Spats Thread

[spats]

For Pete's sake, I'm not saying you should date someone you find physically repulsive. But think for a minute if women applied the same standards to men. No one would get laid. What I'm saying is all we have to do is know ourselves and trust ourselves and we won't have to deal with this bullshit. If he's that worried about being taken for a ride, he will be.

Women do apply the same standards to men. Women care about looks too. I know women who will not hook up with guys that are losing their hair, or have a stomach, etc. Stuff like that.

[Suz]

I gotcha, Nathan Spats, you could meet them in the park. You could meet them at a party. You could meet them at a neighborhood meeting. You could meet them at a concert. You could meet them at a night class in something you're interested in. You could meet them at a coffee shop. You could meet them at a museum, a lecture, a parade, a festival, a church/synagogue/non-denominational sprirtual place, a stock car race, a wrestling match, a plumbing convention, a family reunion of a friend, and YES, even a grocery store! A hockey game! A football game! A political meeting! An I Don't Trust Anybody Meeting! A masturbatathon! Walking down the goddamned street.

[manderlyh]

No, wanting sex is not shallow. But diamonds cost money. If a woman needs a diamond to realize that a man cares that's shallow in my mind. And if she really wants one maybe she should pitch in for some of the payments. You rarely see women spend that much on a man.

I guess if you're buying a ring that you have to make payments on, eventually she WILL be pitching in for the payments once you're married.

[spats]

I want to add that, also in my experience, men prefer a confident woman as much as women prefer a confident man. I doubt if many of your "hotties" at the club are necessarily the most confident women in the world. And we KNOW you are not a confident man. You are only going to attract the women you fear: users. It's the same for women with men. I have had friends in those use-or-be-used relationships, and it looks like hell on earth to me. Grow up. For the love of all that is sacred, take care of your own shit first.

So knowing what you can and can't do and avoiding what you are bad at shows lack of confidence? Thinking that you aren't that great looking shows lack of confidence?

[Dzldoc]

Women do apply the same standards to men. Women care about looks too. I know women who will not hook up with guys that are losing their hair, or have a stomach, etc. Stuff like that.

Eventually we all run out of choices. Keep trying while you can ,lonelyness will prevail.

[~Bonnie~]

I agree about clubs now. I have almost had my fill of them. Unless you look like Johnny Depp meaning the looks that instantly attract women the cards are stacked against ya at clubs. And in the recent past when i have been apporache in clubs it's by women i have no interest in.

Where else do you go on a Saturday night to meet pretty women? Please don't say the Grocery Store.

Well, what do you LIKE to do? Do you like to go bowling? Do THAT. Do you like to play mini-golf? Do THAT. Do you enjoy art museums? Do THAT. Chances are, that while you are out there, doing something you enjoy, that there are also going to be girls there doing the exact same thing. See a pretty one? Chat her up. At least you know that you have one thing in common, and that's a starting point.

[wanna be drummer]

No, wanting sex is not shallow. But diamonds cost money. If a woman needs a diamond to realize that a man cares that's shallow in my mind. And if she really wants one maybe she should pitch in for some of the payments. You rarely see women spend that much on a man.

First off, my girlfriend spent more on our gold heart charms then I did on her ring.

Second, I didn't ask if wanting sex is shallow. Is putting physical attraction at the top of the list for relationships shallow? You've yet to answer that in your own words.

Third, it's now the actual jewelry that catches the woman's attention. It's normally the act itself, not the diamond. And if you think a woman who wants jewelry should buy it herself, then you've just proven that you don't actually understand the concept of love or giving out of love.

I want you to answer my above question as well as this spats. How would you personally show a woman that you love her? Surely you've shown us that you won't be willing to spend money on her, so what would you do? Take her to a romantic dinner and have her pay for her plate?

[Suz]

Well, what do you LIKE to do? Do you like to go bowling? Do THAT. Do you like to play mini-golf? Do THAT. Do you enjoy art museums? Do THAT. Chances are, that while you are out there, doing something you enjoy, that there are also going to be girls there doing the exact same thing. See a pretty one? Chat her up. At least you know that you have one thing in common, and that's a starting point.

You are a noble soul. He doesn't get it. He thinks is she doesn't chat him up first, she's a lazy bitch.

[spats]

I gotcha, Nathan Spats, you could meet them in the park. You could meet them at a party. You could meet them at a neighborhood meeting. You could meet them at a concert. You could meet them at a night class in something you're interested in. You could meet them at a coffee shop. You could meet them at a museum, a lecture, a parade, a festival, a church/synagogue/non-denominational sprirtual place, a stock car race, a wrestling match, a plumbing convention, a family reunion of a friend, and YES, even a grocery store! A hockey game! A football game! A political meeting! An I Don't Trust Anybody Meeting! A masturbatathon! Walking down the goddamned street.

You would hook up with a complete stranger that you met at one of those places? You would go out with a complete stranger you met at a park? When i am out i just don't see people getting know complete strangers unless it's a place that people purposely go to meet the opposite sex (like a club). And Toronto is known for being a pretty aloof city.

I agree with the parties. But my friends don't have those every week.

[Suz]

So knowing what you can and can't do and avoiding what you are bad at shows lack of confidence? Thinking that you aren't that great looking shows lack of confidence?

Has anybody asked this, yet: what CAN you do, Spats? And thinking you are not that great looking shows lack of confidence? Yep, pretty much. You are what you are, so enjoy it or mope around and be insecure.

[Suz]

You would hook up with a complete stranger that you met at one of those places? You would go out with a complete stranger you met at a park? When i am out i just don't see people getting know complete strangers unless it's a place that people purposely go to meet the opposite sex (like a club). And Toronto is known for being a pretty aloof city.

I agree with the parties. But my friends don't have those every week.

First of all, I have no idea what you're into, so I made a bunch of guesses. Secondly, NO! I don't meet someone in the park, take them home and schtupp them! What I'm saying is what Bonnie (and everyone else) has said: Do what YOU like!!! Obviously, you wanna "hook up," so keep going to those self esteem killing clubs!

[Nathan]

spats...

I know you don't want to get married, but try to pretend for a minute. If you found someone you really loved... someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with (and please try to use your imagination instead of responding "oh but that's not what I want)... would you expect her to help pay for the engagement ring that you'd plan on giving her?

[spats]

First off, my girlfriend spent more on our gold heart charms then I did on her ring.

Second, I didn't ask if wanting sex is shallow. Is putting physical attraction at the top of the list for relationships shallow? You've yet to answer that in your own words.

Third, it's now the actual jewelry that catches the woman's attention. It's normally the act itself, not the diamond. And if you think a woman who wants jewelry should buy it herself, then you've just proven that you don't actually understand the concept of love or giving out of love.

I want you to answer my above question as well as this spats. How would you personally show a woman that you love her? Surely you've shown us that you won't be willing to spend money on her, so what would you do? Take her to a romantic dinner and have her pay for her plate?

No, putting physical attraction at the top of the list is not shallow. Ya need it to be there.

Dude, it's the actual diamond that makes them go ga-ga. You haven't seen women's eyes bugging out at that stuff? Or how their girfriends react?

I would treat her good and be loyal. I haven't been in love in quite awhile though. As far as dates go, i don't pay for the date until i i know there is gonna be a future with the woman. Otherwise i make sure we split the cost.

[~Bonnie~]

You would hook up with a complete stranger that you met at one of those places? You would go out with a complete stranger you met at a park? When i am out i just don't see people getting know complete strangers unless it's a place that people purposely go to meet the opposite sex (like a club). And Toronto is known for being a pretty aloof city.

I agree with the parties. But my friends don't have those every week.

No, you don't meet someone in the park and immediately have sex....but you can TALK to someone, get to know them for a few minutes, give them your number. It's the same as what you would to at a bar/club. I'm pretty sure it's not any more dangerous, the crazies go out to the clubs, too.

[Nathan]

Just moving it over to the new page to make sure it gets answered...

spats...

I know you don't want to get married, but try to pretend for a minute. If you found someone you really loved... someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with (and please try to use your imagination instead of responding "oh but that's not what I want)... would you expect her to help pay for the engagement ring that you'd plan on giving her?

[Rock Action]

No, you don't meet someone in the park and immediately have sex

You DON'T????

[wanna be drummer]

No, putting physical attraction at the top of the list is not shallow. Ya need it to be there.

I agree, but it can't be a top priority, especially if one's own physical attraction may not be high.

Dude, it's the actual diamond that makes them go ga-ga. You haven't seen women's eyes bugging out at that stuff? Or how their girfriends react?

Ya wanna bet? Diamonds get reactions, and of course everyone loves them. But how wives and girlfriends are content with less-than-expensive rings from their significant other, just because it shows they care?

I would treat her good and be loyal. I haven't been in love in quite awhile though. As far as dates go, i don't pay for the date until i i know there is gonna be a future with the woman. Otherwise i make sure we split the cost.

That's not enough spats. In this life, we can't love someone and simply be nice to them. How long can a relationship built on that foundation last? Buying her tons of shit is wrong as well. But it's good to buy her some nice things once in a while to show you care. It's a sign of your love.

Oh, and that last part...that's a dick-move. Dinner's aren't so expensive that you can't just pay for both of you. It's chivalrous, it's romantic, it's kind.

[Suz]

You DON'T????

You know he's gonna take you seriously. You know that, don't you?

[spats]

spats...

I know you don't want to get married, but try to pretend for a minute. If you found someone you really loved... someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with (and please try to use your imagination instead of responding "oh but that's not what I want)... would you expect her to help pay for the engagement ring that you'd plan on giving her?

If it were expensive she should offer to help pay for it. Because she would care about how much this was costing me. If she was buying me something really expensive i would do the same for her. I would tell her not to bother if it was gonna be really expensive.

But again that's all fantasy because i am never getting down on one knee and proposing or giving an engagement or wedding ring. The same women that want you to apporach, ask them out, make the first move sexually, pull out the chair, open the door, make sure their glass is full are the same women that want this. It's a pattern. They want you to do everything.

[spats]

No, you don't meet someone in the park and immediately have sex....but you can TALK to someone, get to know them for a few minutes, give them your number. It's the same as what you would to at a bar/club. I'm pretty sure it's not any more dangerous, the crazies go out to the clubs, too.

I know she didn't mean that. But do people go to parks alone to meet people? It's easier to trust the situation at a club because everyone is out with their friends and stuff.

[Suz]

I can't take anymore of this today. I need to take an aspirin and lay down. Spats, you are unbelieveable. Your opinion of women is shit. Find some 500 pound old lady to whip you and beat you. You know that's what's probably coming, anyway.

[~Bonnie~]

You are a noble soul. He doesn't get it. He thinks is she doesn't chat him up first, she's a lazy bitch.

Thanks for the compliment! I think the same can be said for you, Suz.

To me, Spats is like that flower in your garden, that, regardless of how well you care for it, it just won't bloom. And you know that if it were not so stubborn, it could be beautiful. So you keep trying. Eventually, it'll happen....

[spats]

I agree, but it can't be a top priority, especially if one's own physical attraction may not be high.

Ya wanna bet? Diamonds get reactions, and of course everyone loves them. But how wives and girlfriends are content with less-than-expensive rings from their significant other, just because it shows they care?

That's not enough spats. In this life, we can't love someone and simply be nice to them. How long can a relationship built on that foundation last? Buying her tons of shit is wrong as well. But it's good to buy her some nice things once in a while to show you care. It's a sign of your love.

Oh, and that last part...that's a dick-move. Dinner's aren't so expensive that you can't just pay for both of you. It's chivalrous, it's romantic, it's kind.

Yea, but if you don't know if you are gonnna be seeing this woman regularly i don't think you should be doing it. How many women are paying for the whole thing on those early dates? Not happening. And dinners at nice restaurants are expensive.

[JethroTull]

Spats, At this stage I can only offer the advice of the Dictators..

Pussy and Money

You wake up in the morning

totally confused

can't get a date

but you're getting screwed

you're searching for a reason

a way to carry on

when everything is broken

and everything is wrong

So you tried to save the whales

You found a tree to kiss

You gave a crippled child

His dying wish

You're waiting for an answer

A message from above

You've always been a sucker

Another fool in love

What's it all about

Pussy and money

I ain't tryin to be cute

I ain't tryin to be funny

Everybody lies about

Pussy and money

It's always gonna be that way

It's always gonna be that way

You see a girl

You start talkin

She sees your car

She starts walkin

Sweet success

Just take it

If you're sincere

You can fake it

What's it all about

Pussy and money

I ain't tryin to be cute

I ain't tryin to be funny

Everybody cries about

Pussy and money

It's always gonna be that way

It's always gonna be that way

You wanna be the big dog

Down on the street

But if you spill a drop of blood

The shark's gotta eat

A million stars

out of reach

A billion grains of sand

on the beach

So you pray every night

When the sun goes down

Cause there are only two things that make the world go round

What's it all about

Pussy and money

I ain't tryin to be cute

I ain't tryin to be funny

Everybody lies about

Everybody cries about

Everybody shout it out!!

Pussy and money

It's always gonna be that way

It's always gonna be that way

[spats]

Thanks for the compliment! I think the same can be said for you, Suz.

To me, Spats is like that flower in your garden, that, regardless of how well you care for it, it just won't bloom. And you know that if it were not so stubborn, it could be beautiful. So you keep trying. Eventually, it'll happen....

What do you mean "beautiful"?