Conneyfogle Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi"! you cant park there what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you wanker!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khandie Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat... He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something... On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here - try these on'... She did and said, These are too big... I can't wear them... I replied, 'Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will... Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.. 'Hmmm,' said Mike... He thought that might be a good thing to try.. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, Here - try these on... She tried them on and said, These are too large... They don't fit me... Mike said, Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will... I don't want you to ever forget that... Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike... She said, Here- you try on mine... He did and said, I can't get into your panties... Karen said, Exactly... And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Refreshing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvlz2 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I feel so left out on a thread like this. It's not that I have no a sense of humor. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to be putting people on and they take me for dead serious. Then when I'm serious, they think I'm having them on. I won't even bother with Deek Jackson. I think he is way funny, and deathly serious at the same time. I watched about a dozen Hot for Words videos, and could find one to go her, but I think she's funny. Piss on it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 OK I found something. The made me laugh my ass off: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tripmender Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 OK I found something. The made me laugh my ass off: They can have all the homo-erotic fights they like, but hockey remains a girls' game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poindexter Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 I once went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 President's Statement on Kleptocracy For too long, the culture of corruption has undercut development and good governance and bred criminality and mistrust around the world. High-level corruption by senior government officials, or kleptocracy, is a grave and corrosive abuse of power and represents the most invidious type of public corruption. It threatens our national interest and violates our values. It impedes our efforts to promote freedom and democracy, end poverty, and combat international crime and terrorism. Kleptocracy is an obstacle to democratic progress, undermines faith in government institutions, and steals prosperity from the people. Promoting transparent, accountable governance is a critical component of our freedom agenda. At this year's G-8 meeting in St Petersburg, my colleagues joined me in calling for strengthened international efforts to deny kleptocrats access to our financial systems and safe haven in our countries; stronger efforts to combat fraud, corruption, and misuse of public resources; and increased capacity internationally to prevent opportunities for high-level public corruption. Today, I am announcing a new element in my Administration's plan to fight kleptocracy, The National Strategy to Internationalize Efforts against Kleptocracy, which sets forth a framework to deter, prevent, and address high-level, public corruption. It identifies critical tools to detect and prosecute corrupt officials around the world, so that the promise of economic assistance and growth reaches the people. Our objective is to defeat high-level public corruption in all its forms and to deny corrupt officials access to the international financial system as a means of defrauding their people and hiding their ill-gotten gains. Given the nature of our open, accessible international financial system, our success in fighting kleptocracy will depend upon the participation and accountability of our partner nations, the international financial community, and regional and multilateral development institutions. Together, we can confront kleptocracy and help create the conditions necessary for people everywhere to enjoy the full benefits of honest, just, and accountable governance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UHdJ7MNxfI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 http://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc1149.txt Network Working Group D. Waitzman Request for Comments: 1149 BBN STC 1 April 1990 A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers Status of this Memo This memo describes an experimental method for the encapsulation of IP datagrams in avian carriers. This specification is primarily useful in Metropolitan Area Networks. This is an experimental, not recommended standard. Distribution of this memo is unlimited. Overview and Rational Avian carriers can provide high delay, low throughput, and low altitude service. The connection topology is limited to a single point-to-point path for each carrier, used with standard carriers, but many carriers can be used without significant interference with each other, outside of early spring. This is because of the 3D ether space available to the carriers, in contrast to the 1D ether used by IEEE802.3. The carriers have an intrinsic collision avoidance system, which increases availability. Unlike some network technologies, such as packet radio, communication is not limited to line-of-sight distance. Connection oriented service is available in some cities, usually based upon a central hub topology. Frame Format The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff. The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier. A band of duct tape is used to secure the datagram's edges. The bandwidth is limited to the leg length. The MTU is variable, and paradoxically, generally increases with increased carrier age. A typical MTU is 256 milligrams. Some datagram padding may be needed. Upon receipt, the duct tape is removed and the paper copy of the datagram is optically scanned into a electronically transmittable form. Discussion Multiple types of service can be provided with a prioritized pecking order. An additional property is built-in worm detection and eradication. Because IP only guarantees best effort delivery, loss of a carrier can be tolerated. With time, the carriers are self- Waitzman [Page 1] RFC 1149 IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers 1 April 1990 regenerating. While broadcasting is not specified, storms can cause data loss. There is persistent delivery retry, until the carrier drops. Audit trails are automatically generated, and can often be found on logs and cable trays. Security Considerations Security is not generally a problem in normal operation, but special measures must be taken (such as data encryption) when avian carriers are used in a tactical environment. Author's Address David Waitzman BBN Systems and Technologies Corporation BBN Labs Division 10 Moulton Street Cambridge, MA 02238 Phone: (617) 873-4323 EMail: dwaitzman@BBN.COM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlas Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I need to compose my formal response to the RFC Editor. There is clearly an error in the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khandie Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) This should do the trick! Hilarious but also really accurate! World War II Battled Out On facebook! Edited August 3, 2010 by Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrum Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 I hope you all wash your hands after wiping your butts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrum Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 Help, I'm A Rock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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