Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[spats]

My buddy is going to meet up with the woman that approached him last week at the club tomorrow, And he said to come along because she will be with a couple girlfriends and maybe i will like one of them.

Is there a smiley that indicates crossing one's fingers.

[Pip]

I have been in relationships. I have had quite a few girlfriends since getting out of high school.

pfft a loser and a liar...

you have OBVIOUSLY never been in LOVE or had a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP... I don't think that looking at a girl and judging her from across the room counts...

ALL of your observations on relationships are from a very limited experience and mostly watching other people.

And BTW can we get over the 'men do everything for women' story you keep churning because just because you see some random blokes do it doesn't make it an anthropologic study... and AS I SAID you are only seeing the surface of their relationship - no one can ever REALLY know what goes on in another couple's relationship - even if your BUDDIES tell you- you are only getting one half of the story AT BEST!

I'm not saying that I agree with men doing everything for women - I am actually saying IT ISN'T TRUE. - men don't do everything women ask them to AT ALL... and vice versa - people just do stuff for each other - I do things for my sisters and friends all the time! My husband does things for me... I do things for him... He also helps out my dad... I help my child.... PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER DON'T MIND DOING THINGS FOR EACH OTHER. And it isn't one sided!

you are an IDIOT if you think it is ... that is like learning how to say 'oui' and telling everyone you can speak french... looking at some random couples interact and telling everyone you know how their relationships are...

IF you come back and say anything about your BUDDIES told you or you saw this or that from a distance at a movie then you need to re-read AND you need to grow a brain...

Even if you come back and say some made up story about a 'GIRL' you dated think again! because it obviously wasn't love...

BTW could you read this a few times so that you actually GET the picture - I have come to realize I am dealing with someone who either can't read or is just pain ignorant...

and if you are going to reply to me don't just take a small portion of the post - probably the only bit that you understood - reply to the whole picture...

You are so obviously ignoring all of the things you can't respond to because you either lack the intellect or you just know that they are right.

I mean if you are going to respond to everything - like you said - then do it.

[Rock Action]

Dude, those lyrics do not apply to me. I do not choose to fail. You can't really control that. That's up to the women who you fail with.

Can't you just talk normally? It's always an insult or a joke.

You haven't earned anything else here. What do you expect?

[~tangerine~]

Why do you like those tips?

I found some of them to be clever. Since i don't now and never have gone to bars/clubs to pick up men, none of that scene pertains to me. I was amused and i wouldn't be surprised if some of those 6 tips really work. Not much else to it.

[Katuschka]

Everyone here keeps saying that dating is ruled by conventions and rules and strict gender roles. I am the one saying it should not be like that.

Spats, you're the only one here talking about conventions and gender roles when you keep repeating what women should but obviously don't do. No one here is so preoccupied with conventions as you, that's a fact.

The only dating rule which more or less everyone here keeps mentioning is that if you want to arouse someone's interest, you actually have to do something.

Kat, i hang out guys all the time. Guys will do things they do not want to do if they think it will get them some sex. Guys will throw out their dignity to get sex. They will embarrass them themselves if they think it will get them sex. I am not like that though.

With what kind of guys? Have you ever been in a company of some other men than just your "buddies"?

Spats, the problem is that we are talking about two different things, and that's why we cannot agree (and also the reason why you just cannot understand what some other people here are saying). There are two different kinds of relationships - one based on lust, and the other based on love.

Now, lust is selfist, and love is the very opposite of it. When you see a couple, you cannot know whether their relationship is based on sex, or whether they actually love each other. Since you've probably never experienced the latter, you just cannot understand why certain people behave the way they do.

As for throwing out their dignity...that's the ultimate rule concerning dating scenes, and it's by no means restricted to the male visitors. Women do the same thing when they go there in those "nice, revealing clothes" because that - and not some decent, comfortable shirt - will get them some sex.

Moreover, what you're saying really doesn't make sense. I don't understand how someone can get interested by seeing the other one embarrassing himself. If it works, then it probably isn't that embarrassing, doncha think? What you call "dignity" is nothing but your own distorted picture of yourself. You may think you act cool, but someone else may see you as stiff, boring and impassive...and that's why you're not getting any.

[Katuschka]

and if you are going to reply to me don't just take a small portion of the post - probably the only bit that you understood - reply to the whole picture...

Well, it's usually the only bit he THINKS he understood.

[spats]

pfft a loser and a liar...

you have OBVIOUSLY never been in LOVE or had a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP... I don't think that looking at a girl and judging her from across the room counts...

ALL of your observations on relationships are from a very limited experience and mostly watching other people.

And BTW can we get over the 'men do everything for women' story you keep churning because just because you see some random blokes do it doesn't make it an anthropologic study... and AS I SAID you are only seeing the surface of their relationship - no one can ever REALLY know what goes on in another couple's relationship - even if your BUDDIES tell you- you are only getting one half of the story AT BEST!

I'm not saying that I agree with men doing everything for women - I am actually saying IT ISN'T TRUE. - men don't do everything women ask them to AT ALL... and vice versa - people just do stuff for each other - I do things for my sisters and friends all the time! My husband does things for me... I do things for him... He also helps out my dad... I help my child.... PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER DON'T MIND DOING THINGS FOR EACH OTHER. And it isn't one sided!

you are an IDIOT if you think it is ... that is like learning how to say 'oui' and telling everyone you can speak french... looking at some random couples interact and telling everyone you know how their relationships are...

IF you come back and say anything about your BUDDIES told you or you saw this or that from a distance at a movie then you need to re-read AND you need to grow a brain...

Even if you come back and say some made up story about a 'GIRL' you dated think again! because it obviously wasn't love...

BTW could you read this a few times so that you actually GET the picture - I have come to realize I am dealing with someone who either can't read or is just pain ignorant...

and if you are going to reply to me don't just take a small portion of the post - probably the only bit that you understood - reply to the whole picture...

You are so obviously ignoring all of the things you can't respond to because you either lack the intellect or you just know that they are right.

I mean if you are going to respond to everything - like you said - then do it.

It depends on what type of love. Unconditional love? Hell No. I question whether that exists. Unless it is for one's child. What type of love do you mean? where you put up with their nonsense no matter what? No i haven't been in that type of love. And i wouldn't want that type because that means the person is settling. But i have been in plenty of relationships. i would wager more than you.

You can tell in just things like how they act in public with one another what type of realtionship they have. if the dude is doing everything in public for her then it's pretty much a lock it's like that in other aspects of the relationship. I have seen that with friends too. The way i was like with girlfriends in public was the way i was with them in private.lol

[spats]

I found some of them to be clever. Since i don't now and never have gone to bars/clubs to pick up men, none of that scene pertains to me. I was amused and i wouldn't be surprised if some of those 6 tips really work. Not much else to it.

I have been to clubs, bars, and if a dude ever said some of that stuff that it says in those articles the woman would laugh in his face.

[spats]

Spats, you're the only one here talking about conventions and gender roles when you keep repeating what women should but obviously don't do. No one here is so preoccupied with conventions as you, that's a fact.

The only dating rule which more or less everyone here keeps mentioning is that if you want to arouse someone's interest, you actually have to do something.

With what kind of guys? Have you ever been in a company of some other men than just your "buddies"?

Spats, the problem is that we are talking about two different things, and that's why we cannot agree (and also the reason why you just cannot understand what some other people here are saying). There are two different kinds of relationships - one based on lust, and the other based on love.

Now, lust is selfist, and love is the very opposite of it. When you see a couple, you cannot know whether their relationship is based on sex, or whether they actually love each other. Since you've probably never experienced the latter, you just cannot understand why certain people behave the way they do.

As for throwing out their dignity...that's the ultimate rule concerning dating scenes, and it's by no means restricted to the male visitors. Women do the same thing when they go there in those "nice, revealing clothes" because that - and not some decent, comfortable shirt - will get them some sex.

Moreover, what you're saying really doesn't make sense. I don't understand how someone can get interested by seeing the other one embarrassing himself. If it works, then it probably isn't that embarrassing, doncha think? What you call "dignity" is nothing but your own distorted picture of yourself. You may think you act cool, but someone else may see you as stiff, boring and impassive...and that's why you're not getting any.

I am only talking about conventions because everyone else is saying there are there and they are strict. I don't agree that you have to something to arouse someone's interest. Women do nothing and arouse guys interest. my buddy was approached at a new club we have been too and did absolutely nothing. The girl liked how he looked and decided to come over and talk to him.

But if a guy is waiting on a woman hand and foot and she is just sitting there it can be either love or lust. Because both make people do that stuff. It's very telling when the woman does not do anything. I would not feel comfortable with someone waiting on me.

I agree that women do throw out their dignity on the dating scene. I agree with you.

Yes i am going by why i consider embarrassing. And i lose respect for a woman if she finds what i find embarrassing attractive. I made a fool of myself at harbourfront last summer for this woman i liked and she thought it was cute. But the fact that i found it embarrassing mattered more. Because if i am not comfortable with what happened then i am not going to be happy or comfortable. And i would question her taste.

You are right that what i may consider "acting cool" might be looked at as passive or shy by woman. But to me acting silly is not cool and i would not want a woman who liked silly crap. So we would not work out anyways.

[spats]

On Saturday friends and i met up with these women at the club we have been going to. My buddy is really interested in the one that approached him the other week. And she had some girlfriends with her. They were nice enough. I got along pretty good with one. She is not my ideal looks wise and but she is cute. And she was paying quite bit attention to me . Especially compared to what i have been getting lately.

But afterwards was the really best part. We all left there and decided to pop into Quiznos. we were hungry and it's always good to see how a woman behaves when she eats. So you can see if she has good eating manners or not. If she is sloppy, or talks with her mouth full you then you can decide if you are still interested or not.

Of course one of my buddies ask what they want and we will go get it. I put up with that because i didn't want to ruin things for him. So anyways we go up to the counter and the girl behind the counter was sooooo pretty it wasn't funny. She had a great smile. She even looked hot in the uniform. And she even had her hair in a ponytail which i love. And she was really nice. Although i realize they have to be.

But for the rest of our time there i was distracted by her. I barely recall what i talked about or they did.lol

How would a guy go about getting to know a woman who works at place like that without it looking weird or natural? Is it possible?? Like how would you even talk to them on more than a customer basis??

Overall the night went pretty good and we are going to be meeting them at the club again next weekend. I wasn't in lust with the one i was sort of lined up with but she was cute and seemed sort of cool.

[reswati]

^^^

The way to approach the waitress (the Spast way)

Just sneak inside the restaurant.

Sit yourself down on your ass and ignore her, and think that you look cool.

Buy yourself a meal and let her pay half of it.

Log in to this forum and cry us a river...

Good luck!

[longdistancewinner]

On Saturday friends and i met up with these women at the club we have been going to. My buddy is really interested in the one that approached him the other week. And she had some girlfriends with her. They were nice enough. I got along pretty good with one. She is not my ideal looks wise and but she is cute. And she was paying quite bit attention to me . Especially compared to what i have been getting lately.

But afterwards was the really best part. We all left there and decided to pop into Quiznos. we were hungry and it's always good to see how a woman behaves when she eats. So you can see if she has good eating manners or not. If she is sloppy, or talks with her mouth full you then you can decide if you are still interested or not.

Of course one of my buddies ask what they want and we will go get it. I put up with that because i didn't want to ruin things for him. So anyways we go up to the counter and the girl behind the counter was sooooo pretty it wasn't funny. She had a great smile. She even looked hot in the uniform. And she even had her hair in a ponytail which i love. And she was really nice. Although i realize they have to be.

But for the rest of our time there i was distracted by her. I barely recall what i talked about or they did.lol

How would a guy go about getting to know a woman who works at place like that without it looking weird or natural? Is it possible?? Like how would you even talk to them on more than a customer basis??

Overall the night went pretty good and we are going to be meeting them at the club again next weekend. I wasn't in lust with the one i was sort of lined up with but she was cute and seemed sort of cool.

You won't get the woman at Quiznos because she'll probably think that you're with the 'cute' girl and that you acted like a grade A prick.

If I saw you in person I'd hit you - no word of a lie. You're the rudest, most ignorant creature I've ever encountered. You don't care that you may have pissed off/hurt the 'cute' girl (but that matters you - since she was just cute) because you were too busy eyeing the one behind the counter. She probably thinks that you're a letch for ignoring your 'date'. Believe it or not, she was probably aware that you were drooling over her - and yes, sometimes, it can be creepy. Sooo creepy it's not even funny. With so much emphasis placed on looks and lust, you sound like a borderline sex pest.

I bet it was hard work for you helping your mate get food. What is it that Quizno's deal in? Sandwiches... That must be a weight on the arms - never mind your dignity. I bet that you'd probably felt like you'd lost a little bit of it.

And saying you weren't in 'lust' with the one you were with isn't something to brag about. It only tells me that it's a disappointment when you aren't lusting after girls you've just met. Ironically, lusting after every 'hot' girl you see sounds pretty 'Alpha'. You think too much with your dick. It's a turn-off.

You think your weekend went pretty good? To me, it sounds like a fucking disaster. I pity the Quiznos girl that caught your radar and I pity the 'cute' girl who's only crime was simply being just cute. Give it time - they've probably realised what a twat you are already.

[spats]

You won't get the woman at Quiznos because she'll probably think that you're with the 'cute' girl and that you acted like a grade A prick.

If I saw you in person I'd hit you - no word of a lie. You're the rudest, most ignorant creature I've ever encountered. You don't care that you may have pissed off/hurt the 'cute' girl (but that matters you - since she was just cute) because you were too busy eyeing the one behind the counter. She probably thinks that you're a letch for ignoring your 'date'. Believe it or not, she was probably aware that you were drooling over her - and yes, sometimes, it can be creepy. Sooo creepy it's not even funny. With so much emphasis placed on looks and lust, you sound like a borderline sex pest.

I bet it was hard work for you helping your mate get food. What is it that Quizno's deal in? Sandwiches... That must be a weight on the arms - never mind your dignity. I bet that you'd probably felt like you'd lost a little bit of it.

And saying you weren't in 'lust' with the one you were with isn't something to brag about. It only tells me that it's a disappointment when you aren't lusting after girls you've just met. Ironically, lusting after every 'hot' girl you see sounds pretty 'Alpha'. You think too much with your dick. It's a turn-off.

You think your weekend went pretty good? To me, it sounds like a fucking disaster. I pity the Quiznos girl that caught your radar and I pity the 'cute' girl who's only crime was simply being just cute. Give it time - they've probably realised what a twat you are already.

You are right. The Quiznos girl probably thinks i am dating her.

I was not staring at the girl for the rest of the evening. I just looked over occasionally. You cannot help who turns you on. She did, the girl i was hanging with didn't. That stuff is unexplainable i guess. Do i care if i pissed off or hurt her? We just met that night. I don't owe her anything and we are not a couple. We were hanging out. It was not my responsibility to make sure she was happy.

Us getting the food for them was not as bad as it normally would because i was not paying for it. But what did they do to deserve us getting the food? They are not are girlfriends or anything. My buddy is way too nice. But being a good friend i went along with it so i would not ruin things for him. But you know what was really annoying. None of the women spoke up to say "no, it's okay, you don't have to do that. We'll help." Nothing. they just sat down. I think a cool girl would have came up and helped.

It is a disappointment to me if i am not physically attracted to a woman right away like this one. She is nice and cute but i didn't feel "it" or any spark. She seems more interested in me than i am in her. How long should a person wait to see if you become physically turned on by them. My buddies say i give up to easily. How long should you wait and see if if you want to hook up with them before you give up on them?

Yes, i do think it went pretty good. I would not call the night a disaster. I didn't get anything great out of the evening but it was not a bust either. It's not a big deal to me what the girl i was hanging thought of me but it would suck if the quiznos girl didn't think much of me.

Seriously, how would one go about getting to know a girl that works at a place that you are a customer at?

[~Bonnie~]

You are right. The Quiznos girl probably thinks i am dating her.

I was not staring at the girl for the rest of the evening. I just looked over occasionally. You cannot help who turns you on. She did, the girl i was hanging with didn't. That stuff is unexplainable i guess. Do i care if i pissed off or hurt her? We just met that night. I don't owe her anything and we are not a couple. We were hanging out. It was not my responsibility to make sure she was happy.

You are such a toad. Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners???????

[Dzldoc]

You are such a toad. Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners???????

You're too easy on him Bonnie! I'd say he was more of an...

[~Bonnie~]

You're too easy on him Bonnie! I'd say he was more of an...

You're right.

(However, that donkey is probably more of a gentleman than Spats...)

[Rock Action]

You're too easy on him Bonnie! I'd say he was more of an...

He's an asshole...and proud of it.

Fucking Spats. The picture depicting what I think of him would have got me banned. Thanks for the metaphor, bro.

[~Bonnie~]

For you Spats:

How to Have Good Manners

In order to present a good impression to others, you need to act like you weren't raised in a barn! It is very difficult to deal with people that have no manners or have no concern for others. One of the biggest societal issues we face today is a general lack of respect for what has been taught in history in regards to human concern and compassion for those you do not know well.

"Good Manners" are indeed an increasingly archaic school of ideas and actions that display respect, care, and consideration. All humans have a basic right to help one another and feel positive about themselves and others around them. In our age of self-satisfaction, cell phone technology and instant internet gratification - it is sometimes hypothesized that we care more for our equipment and high tech gadgets than the very people they are made for.

If you don't have an etiquette resource, you should keep reading for more ideas. Consider picking up an etiquette book. There are many available. Some community colleges offer weekend lessons in etiquette and most are open to all ages. Taking a class is a great idea for teens, professionals or anyone looking to make a better impression.

If, instead, you would rather learn from real-world examples - study the positive effects of those who display good manners and how people react to and around them. It's basic common sense that everyone prefers to be treated with a reasonable amount of respect. If you nurture plants, animals, or other humans, not only will they grow and bloom - but you will as well. Outside of material goods - the basic things we all really own in life are ourselves and our actions.

Steps:

Don't speak loudly. You will quickly lose respect if you do, as this can be seen as overbearing and rude. It can also make other people angry and upset with you before you even establish some kind of relationship with them. They will see you as a 'big mouth'! and therefore someone who cannot be trusted with anything confidential. So practice at turning your volume down if you tend to have a loud voice.

Speak with respect to and of others. You can do this by avoiding negative remarks that may insult someone else. Do not use expressions or theoretical examples that imply disrespect or degradation or that invite people to imagine offensive scenarios, such as "what is up your butt?" or "how would you feel if someone..." followed by a description of violent or degrading acts. You may not intend this as offensive, but it is. General rule is: if you don't want someone to speak about you that way, then don't speak this way to others.

Don't ever speak of bodily functions, such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes, even if it is a casual conversation, for this shows signs of immaturity and often makes a bad impression on friends, family, and co-workers.

Always respect older people, and listen to them and learn. This applies to all elders and not just parents or grandparents.

Using the terms 'Thank you', 'Please', and 'You're welcome' shows that you have good manners. People who lack manners do not use these terms.

Hold open a door for anyone following you closely. This is a sign of good manners and has never changed. There are no strict gender rules in this day and age.

Speak highly of your parents and show respect for them, even if there are things about them that you do not like. If you cannot do that, avoid speaking about them at all around others. It looks tacky to insult or speak badly of the people who brought you into this world or raised you. Don't air dirty laundry about your family. It's tacky and rude.

Do not swear or use filthy language and curse words. It's unprofessional! People who do this are usually very immature and have no self-control or respect for themselves and others! Eventually, you'll see that bad words are not appropriate and you'll begin to feel more comfortable avoiding them. Profanity is a sign of an angry person and it puts people off you immediately as its very distasteful and offensive. Using decent vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence, self-respect and character.

Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, "Hey Baby, what's shaking?" Instead, try something like, "Hello, good morning or evening," anything that would make you appear to have good manners and good sense.

Try to show that you are interested in the person you are speaking to by asking them questions about themselves. Don't steal their spotlight by just talking about yourself. You don't want to come off as selfish. If you continually talk about yourself, it will quickly bore people and they will try to avoid any future conversations with you.

Pay attention to how you carry yourself. In other words, act like you have some class, which goes hand in hand with manners. Don't slouch; have a neat appearance; shake hands firmly [not limply, people can generally tell what you may be like by your handshake], be clean and smell clean [use some deodorant under your arms! Bad odour can be an unpleasant experience to others], hold your head high and don't hide behind dark sunglasses inside or wear other "trying to be cool" looks at the wrong time; it gives the impression of arrogance and immaturity.

Don't put other people down, belittle them, or spread gossip. Never openly criticize someone in an attempt to put them down or to make yourself look better. If you wouldn't like people speaking about you that way, then don't do it yourself! Be complimentary and positive, for example, avoid critizing an article that someone has written. Their grammar and spelling may not be as good as yours but they did put forth a positive effort. Having an opinion is one thing, but being insulting is a sign of bad manners. It is never polite to tell secrets in front of someone. If someone else is gossiping or belittling a person, show you understand in a neutral way (a small nod to show you comprehend or an "mmhmm" should do) and then go on to compliment that person on something as closely related as possible.

Don't interrupt, cut off or override another person who is speaking, even if it is a casual conversation [unless they are insulting or swearing etc...]. Give the person respect and try to let them finish what they are saying; in other words, be a listener! And practice being a good one!

Ask for clarification properly. If you did not hear something that an individual has said, or if you need something clarified, consider using "Could you say that again for me, please?" or "I'm sorry?" Avoid solely using the word "What?" as it tends to come off as brash and unrefined.

Think about phone manners and observe appropriate phone etiquette at all times.

[Dzldoc]

He's an asshole...and proud of it.

Fucking Spats. The picture depicting what I think of him would have got me banned. Thanks for the metaphor, bro.

I hear ya, had to google in safe search to find that one!

[~Bonnie~]

Phone Etiquette

Don’t phone before 7:00 in the morning and after 9:00 at night [unless its an emergency or an important overseas call]. People do not expect you to drop in and visit them at these times, [unless arranged for a specific occasion or appointment]. This includes texting, although you would obviously not text for an emergency.

Check that the number you have is correct. If you do disturb someone and it’s the wrong number then ‘please’ have the decency to say, “I’m so sorry! I have the wrong number!” That individual may be ill, or in a wheelchair, or elderly etc… and they have answered their phone, so you should show respect and apologize to them.

Check your voice! Your voice carries a whole lot more than just a tone, and can tell another person on the other end of a phone what your character and personality is like - whether you are a happy and nice person or grumpy, obnoxious and harsh! Remember that your listener cannot see you, so on the phone your voice becomes your facial expressions, gestures, personality, and character. So always check your voice when speaking; make sure you speak in a pleasant tone and very clearly. You have to smile through your voice! What they hear will give them either a positive or negative impression of you.

When someone answers the phone don’t be harsh and abrupt by telling them what you want first, this will confuse them and make them wonder who you are. You will also come across as very rude, which is not good if you need a favour from the person you are speaking to. It gives them the wrong impression before you start! And don’t say, “Who is this?” You phoned them and you should introduce yourself and tell them who you are and what you want – politely! For example; say “Hello, my name is Mrs Peppermint, I would like to speak to Mrs Sally Lemon. Is she available?” Or if you are making inquiries it should be something like this; “Hello, this is Mrs Peppermint speaking. I saw an advert in the local paper for a shop assistant; is that job still open?” When you have finished your inquiries always say, “Thank you for your help. Goodbye” and be genuine! Now WAIT – before you put the phone down – PLEASE give them time to say ‘Goodbye’ too!! [i have had many people cut me off abruptly and I’ve had to figure it out myself [while still holding the phone] that they had actually finished their conversation on the phone to me – without saying goodbye – very rude indeed!! Sometimes I’ve had to phone them back as I thought we had just been cut off, never knew it was the end of their inquiries or conversation!].

Give people a chance to answer their phone! They could be outside in their garden, or knitting, or baking in the kitchen, or washing the car, or in a room at the other end of their house. Don’t just ring twice or three times then put the phone down! So annoying when you have had to put down whatever you were in the middle of, go into the lounge to answer your phone and just as it gets to your ear the phone caller [whoever it may be] hangs up!!. Grrrrh!! )

Don’t spend an hour [or hours] chatting to someone. Don't waste people's time or disturb the household! It’s one of the biggest turn-off’s to having a friendly chat! That person will not want to talk to you again. I once had a friend who would phone just for a chat every morning at 5 am and she would talk non-stop for over an hour!!!! She did this for two weeks, which upset my husband and children as it disturbed their sleep. Eventually, I had to tell her not to phone so early in the morning as it was upsetting my family and interrupting their sleep – and I never heard from her again!

Answering your phone: Again – don’t forget to check your voice! Just be pleasant and polite and say, ‘Hello’. Never give your name or any other personal details unless you know the person who has called; it's too dangerous today to easily and naively give personal details to a stranger. If you are alone and you don’t know who the person is, do not tell them no-one is home or your husband is working etc… Always pretend someone is at home with you. Use wisdom and some good old-fashioned common sense! Keep yourself safe!

If the phone call is for someone else, say something like; “Would you wait a moment please? I will just go and call them for you.” Remember to put the receiver down gently on the table. If the person they want to speak to is unavailable or not in, just say, “I’m sorry, Sally isn’t available right now. Can I take a message for her and ask her to phone you as soon as she can?”

If you must carry on two conversations at once you should always excuse yourself from one of them and resume it later. Say, "I'm sorry, can you hold on a minute; my boss is telling me something", and wait for the person's answer. If the personal conversation will last more than a minute, it would be better to ask, "Can I call you back? My mother needs to talk to me and it may take a few minutes".

In case of needing a restroom break, you should say something to get off the phone, but don't share too much information with the wrong person. For example, to a stranger you can say, "I'm sorry, I need to go to the restroom/bathroom. Can I call you back?"

When on the phone don't carry on a conversation with someone else in the room. There's nothing worse than having a phone conversation and the other person is carrying on a chat, perhaps not listening to what you're saying and when talking you can't tell if they are speaking to you or the other person in the room.

Avoid using the computer while talking on the phone with someone unless it's part of customer services. It is extremely rude and unpleasant when someone makes you listen to the clacking of the keyboard, when you wish they were listening to you. And vice versa.

Turn off your phone in films, don't text while pretending to pay attention to someone else, and never carry on a phone conversation during a meal.

When you are with others in a social setting, try to refrain from using your cell phone. It implies that you would rather be somewhere else with someone else and that the person you are with is not important to you.

Make meaningful introductions. If someone tells you their name, either by shaking your hand and saying their name or by saying "Hi! I'm John!" etc., do not just say "Okay!" or "Hi!". Tell them your name too! This may seem obvious, but many people overlook this and come across as not wanting to know the other person.

If you are visiting a friend's parents' home, offer the parents help with anything they may need done in their home, such as taking out the trash, or preparing the table for dinner. Don't forget to thank them for their hospitality and opening up their home to you, as well as allowing you to eat with them. Then they will be sure to have more respect for you when you return.

Address older adults and professional seniority with the title of "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", or "Ms." until you are asked by them to address them by their first name.

Make certain the person prefers you to use their nick name over their proper name before you use it. It's fine to ask if you are uncertain. It's recommended you ask if you are casually introduced to someone with a nickname socially. Don't assume that "Michael" prefers to be called "Mike" or "Sandra" prefers "Sandy".

Improve your manners when speaking. Here are other common etiquette mistakes and their solutions:

Never say "Yeah". It's "Yes" or preferably "Yes, please".

It's never "Huh?" or "What?", it's "Pardon?"

Instead of "Nah", say "No, thank you."

Always use "May I...?" instead of "Can I?"

Don't send letters or notes written in red ink or pencil. It's a sign of disrespect. You can use red ink for lists, notes to yourself or study notes, but never for letters or notes to other people. It's different when it's part of the job, like teachers who may use it for grading because it stands out.

Give gratitude and be thankful. If someone gives you a gift, goes out of their way for you or provides a service which you appreciate, you should write a thank-you note. Not an email unless you are at work, and you should still write a thank-you note for a gift. Saying "thank you" is just not enough. You should always keep a box of thank you cards in your office and at home. Be thankful for what others do or have done for you.

Never use IM, SMS language or computer jargon when sending a note as a 'Thank you' or other communication. Using jargon in general makes a person appear self-centred if others don't understand it. It also makes the listener feel ignorant.

You should never assume everyone knows what LOL or TTYL means.

"Cuz" should never be used instead of "because"

"2" should never replace "to", "two" or "too". It can cause confusion,in some cases.

"U" should never replace "you".

"Da" should never replace "the" [it sounds like baby language!]

"Dat" should never replace "that" [baby language, again!]

I know this sounds a bit gross to say, but 'Come' should NEVER, EVER be replaced with 'cum'. It is obscene, and disgusting. If you don't know the meaning of the word, look it up a dictionary!

Know the difference between you, your and you're

Use a dictionary or thesaurus if you aren't sure of the spelling, meaning or usage of a word.

Proofread! Don't assume spell-check catches everything. Re-read everything.

Not taking the time to spell simple words may be seen as disrespectful.

Unless you're chatting with close friends and the grammar is usually horrible, you should never use jargon or abbreviations unless they are commonly recognized (Mr., Mrs., dates, etc.)

Understand when IM and chat room language should be used. Avoid using it outside of IM, text or chat situations. It makes you appear lazy and ill-mannered.

Avoid generational jargon and slang. When communicating with someone of a different generation, make sure terms used are those familiar to all generations (use English grammar). You wouldn't like it if your boss or grandparents sent you a letter using a strange code or with phrases in a foreign language. Older and younger generations use different jargon.

Treat to speak to others as you would like to be spoken to and treated. Having manners is like the Golden Rule of social behaviour.

Article here:Manners How-To

There are also lots of other links that you may find useful, Spats. Such as :

How to be liked

How to make friends

How to meet new people without being creepy

How to look approachable

[Dzldoc]

Phone Etiquette

If the phone call is for someone else, say something like; "Would you wait a moment please? I will just go and call them for you." Remember to put the receiver down gently on the table. If the person they want to speak to is unavailable or not in, just say, "I'm sorry, Sally isn't available right now. Can I take a message for her and ask her to phone you as soon as she can?"

This is the one that kills me! I always ask "May I ask who's calling?" first! because if you say they aren't here or available the caller usually say's I'll call back or nothing at all and just hangs up then you never know who it is that called. My ex was bad for that!

I can't tell you how many times I asked her to inquire who was calling first!

In 20 years of marriage she never broke that habit either that or she did it intentionally because she new it upset me

[~tangerine~]

It is a disappointment to me if i am not physically attracted to a woman right away like this one. She is nice and cute but i didn't feel "it" or any spark. She seems more interested in me than i am in her. How long should a person wait to see if you become physically turned on by them. My buddies say i give up to easily. How long should you wait and see if if you want to hook up with them before you give up on them?

Yes, i do think it went pretty good. I would not call the night a disaster. I didn't get anything great out of the evening but it was not a bust either. It's not a big deal to me what the girl i was hanging thought of me but it would suck if the quiznos girl didn't think much of me.

Seriously, how would one go about getting to know a girl that works at a place that you are a customer at?

You didn't fall madly in lust the first time you met that girl, so move on, lol. It's been "plenty" of time.

With the Quiznos girl, you have to actually start a conversation to get "anywhere"....good luck!

[reswati]

Let's give Spast a helping hand....

....since he wants things to be perfect, let's begin with himself.

What strikes me most is the fact that his grammar is really lousy (yes, I know I am just a foreigner, but at least I can write properly)

Here are some basic grammar rules.....for toddlers

http://home-ed.info/grammar/grammar_basics.html

[longdistancewinner]

I was not staring at the girl for the rest of the evening. I just looked over occasionally. You cannot help who turns you on. She did, the girl i was hanging with didn't. That stuff is unexplainable i guess. Do i care if i pissed off or hurt her? We just met that night. I don't owe her anything and we are not a couple. We were hanging out. It was not my responsibility to make sure she was happy.

Us getting the food for them was not as bad as it normally would because i was not paying for it. But what did they do to deserve us getting the food? They are not are girlfriends or anything. My buddy is way too nice. But being a good friend i went along with it so i would not ruin things for him. But you know what was really annoying. None of the women spoke up to say "no, it's okay, you don't have to do that. We'll help." Nothing. they just sat down. I think a cool girl would have came up and helped.

Yes, i do think it went pretty good. I would not call the night a disaster. I didn't get anything great out of the evening but it was not a bust either. It's not a big deal to me what the girl i was hanging thought of me but it would suck if the quiznos girl didn't think much of me.

Seriously, how would one go about getting to know a girl that works at a place that you are a customer at?

You're a cretin, Spats. Plain and simple.

You don't 'owe' her anything, but it wouldn't have killed you if you had given her your full attention. Does she deserve to be ignored simply because you saw someone hotter? You don't like it when women ignore you. Grow some manners and treat people with some respect. You fucking whine that you aren't with anyone, yet the moment someone could've been (you don't think they still would, after the way you treat them?) interested in you, you shit on it. No one is ever good enough for you, and, because of that, you'll forever be alone. Whining and trying to justify yourself for the pathetic excuse of a human being that you are. And I, for one, am glad. You don't deserve anyone. And they don't deserve to be subjected to you.

I find it incredibly interesting (and hypocritical) that you say they didn't do anything to deserve getting their food fetched, yet you say, 'They are not our girlfriends'. What the fuck? You moan that the girlfriends are the ones getting the preferential treatment in relationships. And, if being a 'good friend' to you means helping fetch food, I'd fucking hate to see you in real dilemma.

You better get resigned to the fact that the Quiznos girl won't think much of you. Sometimes it's more than just looks that make you 'look' like shit.

[spats]

You are such a toad. Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners???????

I wasn't on a date with her. We were all just hanging out. I am not allowed to look at a another woman if i am in the company of a woman that i am not really interested in? Come on.

What would have been the proper thing to do?

Does it not show a lack of manners that they did help with the food or even offer to help? They didn't even offer to pay their share.