electricmage Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Here is some good advice. Never let a woman bully or pressure you into marriage. It's the biggest decision you'll ever make. Could also be the biggest mistake you make as well. Don't talk to her, move on as best you can. Losing someone; the pain goes away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 You must pay attention to the one who fills your soul with joy and peace, whoever that may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electricmage Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 It depends on the person. Life does not get better for every person. If one is lucky it does. Spats, stop being such a fool. You make your life what it is. If you want a better life, work towards goals that you set for yourself. This is what every therapist will tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronniedawg Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I haven't even dated after two years, not that I haven't had the chance to date but its not fair to the other person right now. I stay home and cook new dishes (experiment), write/rehearse with my band and spend time with my little guy. Spring....cabin time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babs Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 When she asked you "why didn't you ask me to marry you?" you should have asked.."Why didn't you ask me?". If she wanted to get married bad enough she could have asked you. Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reswati Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Hi, some good vibes can be required by listening to the song "You didn't break it "by Steve Vai.....it's on the album called "Flex-able Leftovers" Here are the lyrics: "You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit Somethin's changed Though I know my heart ain't plastic I guess through the years it's grown A little more elastic 'Cause this time cryin' time Didn't last as long And my heart just needed minor repairs And it feels pretty strong (Feels pretty strong) And it's movin' right along You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart Losin' love, it used to crush me Now it doesn't I just figured it was meant to be Or it wasn't So if you wanna know Now that you're gone, the shape I'm in You never clipped the wings of my heart It's gonna fly again. You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart I got somethin' that keeps me goin' I got a habit of comin' around, honey You didn't run me off the highway You only slowed me down" Furthermore I wish you nothing but good luck, and remember....it ain't a crime to be good to yourself !!!! (So please misbehave instead of grieving for too long) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Here is some good advice. Never let a woman bully or pressure you into marriage. It's the biggest decision you'll ever make. Could also be the biggest mistake you make as well. Don't talk to her, move on as best you can. Losing someone; the pain goes away. Amen Brother. And also never give in to an ulitmatum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Spats, stop being such a fool. You make your life what it is. If you want a better life, work towards goals that you set for yourself. This is what every therapist will tell you. Just being realistic. There are some things in life you can't control and some goals you may never achieve. A lot of it is luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Carry on. I just think this dude is way too understanding. It makes it look like it may be his fault. What? because he did not want to get married? That's a big freaking step. And if the woman i was involved with said "how come you have never asked me to marry you" i would be offended. If a woman wants to get married bad enough she can always ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I just think this dude is way too understanding. It makes it look like it may be his fault. What? because he did not want to get married? That's a big freaking step. And if the woman i was involved with said "how come you have never asked me to marry you" i would be offended. If a woman wants to get married bad enough she can always ask. He is understanding because they have bonded together over a period of years. It's not his fault. She is changing. Maybe she is considering who her life partner should be and thinking she needs to be sure before she commits. Perhaps that is why the issue over the question of marriage arose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirchzep27 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 make up, or break up. thats it your welcome. ofcourse it might take awhile and not be certain. but i guess it should boil down to make up, or break up. hey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarmy Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Hi all, She broke up with you? Goodbye,see you never,ever again,lose the Im/phone number. Adue,..... KB Well let's just say she put me in a situation where I was "supposed" to break up with her. Whether that's what she wanted I don't know. I think she wants to take a break. But I'm not very easy to shake. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. I want to work things out with her. We want two different things right now. Does that mean we shouldn't be in a relationship, or does it mean we should work that out? So you tell me who gets what they want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarmy Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Life does not get better, the goal is not to make it worse. She seems like she moved on, you should do the same. I won't tell you that you will find someone new. I can't tell you how to move on. but any sort of communication with this girl can only make you feel worse. I'm not interested in anyone else. In fact, I'm afraid to get involved with anyone else because I don't want to let them down if I ever can get back with her. If I have to feel worse before it gets better, then so be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Well let's just say she put me in a situation where I was "supposed" to break up with her. Whether that's what she wanted I don't know. I think she wants to take a break. But I'm not very easy to shake. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. I want to work things out with her. We want two different things right now. Does that mean we shouldn't be in a relationship, or does it mean we should work that out? So you tell me who gets what they want? I did. FINALLY. But hey. Honestly, I think it would be wise to step back a while and re-evaluate things. Take a few weeks. I know that's easier said than done, I know firsthand. But it might help to clear your head. Things happen for a reason, even though we may not understand why for a while. I wish you the best of luck, my friend. One last piece of advice: DON'T LISTEN TO SPATS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirchzep27 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 you won't be thinking of anyone else for yrs if it was serious. but you do have to go on. sorry for the basic advice, but i think one just needs to live it through. everyones different. believe me, dont waste tons of time on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, Well let's just say she put me in a situation where I was "supposed" to break up with her. Brother,I going to be straight up with you,... If some one is placing you in a 'situation' they are not being honest with you.That is a bad sign,real bad. Whether that's what she wanted I don't know. I think she wants to take a break. Take a break? That is one of the oldest tricks in the book!People who are committed to their relationships,have to work through it,... But I'm not very easy to shake. Don't go there,don't! She doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. I want to work things out with her. Or she found some one new,heard that one too.Told you I'd be straight up with you. We want two different things right now. Does that mean we shouldn't be in a relationship, or does it mean we should work that out? Work out what?Both of you should have worked this out.It's called being honest with yourself and the person your with and want to be with.And that does matter who it with.Be your best friend,your mother,etc. So you tell me who gets what they want? You get what you get.As a wise person has said on this thread,everything happens for a reason.Now you might not see it but you will.How the heck do you know that some where done the road,this break up leads to meeting some one great?Mmmm,...? "You can't always get what you want." "But you get what you need." Chin up,KB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, Brother,I going to be straight up with you,... If some one is placing you in a 'situation' they are not being honest with you.That is a bad sign,real bad. Take a break? That is one of the oldest tricks in the book!People who are committed to their relationships,have to work through it,... Don't go there,don't! Or she found some one new,heard that one too.Told you I'd be straight up with you. Work out what?Both of you should have worked this out.It's called being honest with yourself and the person your with and want to be with.And that does matter who it with.Be your best friend,your mother,etc. You get what you get.As a wise person has said on this thread,everything happens for a reason.Now you might not see it but you will.How the heck do you know that some where done the road,this break up leads to meeting some one great?Mmmm,...? "You can't always get what you want." "But you get what you need." Chin up,KB That rolling stone lyric is terrible. I would rather get something that i actually want than what i need. You will enjoy the thing you want a lot more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Just be nice to her and be her friend if she needs one. You never know. She's trying to decide if she can trust you or not, and also testing her own instincts about who she needs as a partner. But do not see her exclusively at this time. You need the other girls, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, That rolling stone lyric is terrible. I would rather get something that i actually want than what i need. You will enjoy the thing you want a lot more. spats,time marches on,get you head out-of-you-know-where That is why you don't get what you want and never will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, spats,time marches on,get you head out-of-you-know-where That is why you don't get what you want and never will. Hopefully he will and she just hasn't come along yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, Just be nice to her and be her friend if she needs one. You never know. She's trying to decide if she can trust you or not, and also testing her own instincts about who she needs as a partner. But do not see her exclusively at this time. You need the other girls, too. They went out for 7 years,trust?After that time,when? Do not see or talk to her at all! You should do your thing(that sounds dated! ) What you like to do,watch movies/TV/games,hang out with friends,etc,etc,.... Kid,one thing you can control in this situation-yourself! Chin up and PM me if you need to 'talk' KB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longdistancewinner Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 There's nothing more that I can further add that hasn't already been said. It'll hurt like fuck, but you really need to break all contact with her if you know the chances of getting back together are slim to none. The thing is some will say it was a good sign that she wanted to marry you at all, but it's never a good sign to force an ultimatum upon you. Some people will not feel happy unless they know where the relationship is going, and unfortunately, whilst you were pottering along nicely and getting yourself together, it seems she was getting more and more impatient. If you are prepared to keep in contact with her, than be prepared to hurt more. Especially if she moves on. Be careful. You may end up resenting her for this. I know only too well how this could end - and the couple I knew did not end well. If she is undecided, then there may be a chance yet. People don't just throw away 7 years and she may yet realise this. If you know she could come back to you, you need to let her breathe beforehand. But in all honesty, it doesn't sound promising if she's speaking of another man. Just as importantly, give yourself time. Allow yourself to think and feel whatever thought or emotion comes to you. Just be careful and don't take it out on other people. You may want to, but pushing people away won't make it any better. I can almost guarantee you that, should you stop all communication with her, she will wonder why you haven't called her, spoken to her, IM'd her, etc. After 7 years you think she won't care that you haven't contacted her? This may cause her to evaluate whether she wants to be apart from you. Joni Mitchell sang a very wise line - 'Don't it always seem to go/That you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?' Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 That rolling stone lyric is terrible. I would rather get something that i actually want than what i need. You will enjoy the thing you want a lot more. Fucking IDIOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi all, They went out for 7 years,trust?After that time,when? Do not see or talk to her at all! You should do your thing(that sounds dated! ) What you like to do,watch movies/TV/games,hang out with friends,etc,etc,.... Kid,one thing you can control in this situation-yourself! Chin up and PM me if you need to 'talk' KB You would be surprised. Some relationships are off and on over a much longer period. But people need room to grow sometimes. You can never really tell what the future will bring. Much of it is a discovery process. But regardless of that he should be seeing other girls as well at this time, even if only on a casual basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Fucking IDIOT. If you only get what you need as opposed to what you want then you could have a very boring life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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