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Lake of Shadows

Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

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Hi Bustle, yes i am looking for a girlfriend not just sacktime.

I'm saying this to you with respect and compassion, not to be insulting. First of all, i feel for you. You have that "yearning" that many of us have. However, you have expectations that limit your options, likely, unnecessarily. I think you should seriously consider talking to a therapist. All the advice you get here doesn't seem to do you any good. You need someone who can instill the self confidence in you that is lacking. Give it some thought.

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We've suggested therapy numerous times, he insists he doesn't need it. That's clearly wrong, but then again, what do we know?

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We've suggested therapy numerous times, he insists he doesn't need it. That's clearly wrong, but then again, what do we know?

I haven't followed much of this saga, but i think therapy is definitely what Spats needs (as many of you think as well). Spats needs to learn to love himself before he will ever realize what he really wants in a relationship. Sorry Spats, but looks are on the bottom of the list of what's really important. Looks can be in conjunction with other qualities, but should not be the basis for you choosing a partner. You say you want to be happy, then listen up!

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:lol::lol: I HAD to watch it.. too funny.. too bad it doesn't make men look better to women! Kidding....

That's what this is for B)

southern-comfort.jpg

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Spats, come on out to the lake. I will drive the boat while you skim for a bitch.

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I don't base it only only on that but if a persons looks do not turn you on than the relationship is not going to go anywhere. There has to be physical attraction. There has to be. You are not gonna want to even kiss them if you don't think they are hot.

I've read your posts on various threads and I disagree with a lot of what you say. However, I don't think that you are always wrong. I agree with you that physical attraction is important....first impressions. You don't see someone and think 'Wow, look at the personality on that person..." Looks are what you see first. But everyone's concept of good looking varies and who you deem to be good looking someone might say they are average. There's someone for everyone.

 However, that's just first impressions. I for one, know after talking with someone for a few minutes whether or not we're going to be compatible. Sometimes though, you've got to force yourself out of that comfort zone and not turn a potentially good thing away because you're too set in your ways.When I first met my ex-boyfriend, I thought he was a jerk. I thought he had no people skills, he was rude and physically, I was not attracted to him at all. We had a few classes together and he once saw me studying in the library and asked to borrow my notes. Long story short, after that day we started hanging out, having lunch together and I began to see he wasn't the asshole everyone thought he was but rather, VERY misunderstood. We shared so many common interests, political views, etc....and suddenly he was the most attractive guy I'd ever seen. We didn't force anything. A relationship just happened. Still, he wasn't perfect but the good outweighed the bad and I was satisfied with that.

That brings me to the cliche that personality prevails. Long after the perfect toned body and the perfect set of hair is replaced by flab and a receeding hairline. And if you ever expect to ever achieve success in a relationship you've gotta be willing to meet someone half way. I'm not saying you have to compromise your beliefs or who you are, but I am saying you need to be more open minded. The relationship you seek or that you believe eludes you is unrealistic. Relationships are hard work but if you really want to find someone, BOTH parties involved have to be willing to make a few slight adjustments. There's a great quote I read somewhere:  "Loving someone means taking the risk that they might fuck up your nicely ordered life." And it's true.

As for rejection? You are not the first nor last human being that will have to face it. You seem to think there's some sort of conspiracy against you or something. Rejection is part of life and everyone faces it each and everyday. Fearing it is normal but letting it consume your life, or your thoughts or whatever else is unhealthy. With that attitude you might as well lock your self up in a room and start the countdown to death.

Edited by the queen without a king

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Or you could have asked him out. Guys do get nervous about asking women out ya know. I think women think guys are robots or something.

I have never had a buddy ask anyone out but i have had buddies ask a potential date or girlfriend if she was interested in me at all. Just so i could save getting my ass rejected.

Oh, trust me. After I found out that he really did like me, and my friend wasn't just fucking with my head, I tried. I went after him like a beast going in for the kill. But the damage was already done...

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I get sloppy and silly after one or two drinks. I have a low tolerance for it. I don't want to do anything embarrassing.

Another thing i wouldn't want to happen is to have a few drinks and then it starts clouding my judgement and i see a plain jane type girl and start thinking she is hot and then make i mistake i will regret. Some buddies of mine have done that. They have woken up with a girl that they thought was hot the night before only to discover that she wasn't the next morning.

That's a very offensive comment, even though it's a general one.

There are people who you do find attractive and there are people who you do not find attractive. That doesn't mean that the latter group are automatically "plain jane types" because someone else might find them attractive and interesting. Different people are attracted to different things.

You keep complaining that girls don't seem to like the way you look and basicaly criticize them for approaching better looking men. Then you come here and start putting girls into pigeon holes based on your personal scale from one to ten. Disgusting. Boy, you're self-absorbed to the extreme.

Edited by Katuschka

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Plain Jane basically means someone who is unexceptional, unimportant, completely forgettable.

I'm with Kat, that is really offensive. I'm not a supermodel by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd like to think that I am not "unexceptional, unimportant and completely forgettable".

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I'm with Kat, that is really offensive. I'm not a supermodel by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd like to think that I am not "unexceptional, unimportant and completely forgettable".

Honey you could never be that :console:

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Oh, trust me. After I found out that he really did like me, and my friend wasn't just fucking with my head, I tried. I went after him like a beast going in for the kill. But the damage was already done...

you god-damn animal you :o

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That's what they call "Coyote Ugly" when you wake up the next morning next to someone and realize wtf did I do? and then realize that they are laying on your arm and you can't slip out of bed without waking them up so you gnaw your arm off like a coyote. :lol:

Ever heard of "double coyote ugly?"

Pretty much the same way you described it but the "ugly" is soooo bad -- that you gnaw your other arm off too... just so that situation can never happen to you again.

:bagoverhead:

...Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us—a gift that could never be found in the life of another.

And Del's advice is certainly worthy of consideration also....

Damn straight sister!

:thumbsup:

I get sloppy and silly after one or two drinks. I have a low tolerance for it. I don't want to do anything embarrassing.

Another thing i wouldn't want to happen is to have a few drinks and then it starts clouding my judgement and i see a plain jane type girl and start thinking she is hot and then make i mistake i will regret.

No way dude! You obviously have no idea what you are talking about. Let me tell you brother from experience, that many of those so called "plain Janes" have a TIGER IN THE TANK.... they can really rock your world bro.

But you ain't never going to find this out if keep going at this with so many self imposed rules. You gotta take one out and drive it awhile to see what I'm talking about. Plus the so called "plain Janes" are way more appreciative of the attention if you know what I'm saying.

Look dude, you don't seem like the kind of guy who is ever going to find yourself a "Ten"... so why not have five "twos" instead?

As for me; give me a big butt and a smile and that's all I need. ;)

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you god-damn animal you :o

never claimed to be otherwise....

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You know a lot of you bitch about Spats and roll your eyes at his love life and his opinions on his love life, yet we're already 4 pages into a thread about Spats that was started yesterday...

Just admit it, you all secretly love talking about his love life... ;)

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You know a lot of you bitch about Spats and roll your eyes at his love life and his opinions on his love life, yet we're already 4 pages into a thread about Spats that was started yesterday...

Just admit it, you all secretly love talking about his love life... ;)

I admit it, I do! :D

C'mon, he makes our ordinary lives seem so EXTRAORDINARY! Plus, he's so fun to bust chops, and he takes it so well :) I don't think HE minds it either or he wouldn't keep coming back <_<

Ya know...Spats might find that the 10's are harder to deal with in life. I mean look at all the 10's whose husbands have cheated on them! I don't know why but I'm taking a wild stab that because of their extraordinary good looks they might feel a bit priveledged and be even more high maintanance than I am and I'm just a...well, I'd give myself a 7. I'm hard enough to live with! I dont' think Spats could handle a 10 :rolleyes:

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Just admit it, you all secretly love talking about his love life... ;)

Yes. He's an interesting socio-psychological specimen, ready to be profoundly examined.

C'mon, he makes our ordinary lives seem so EXTRAORDINARY!

Oh he does, doesn't he! Everytime I read his posts, I feel like the happiest person alive.

Which is complete nonsense. Everyone knows that the happiest person alive is Vanessa Paradis. She got Depp.

:P

Edited by Katuschka

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Yes. He's an interesting socio-psychological specimen, ready to be profoundly examined.

Careful Kat..you know Spats...that's as close as it gets as an 'invitation' for him :rolleyes:

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What if spats as we know him,is a fictitious creation?His ideas and opinions are here to make us magnify our own perspectives.

Naw...I believe in spats. spats is as spats does.

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Careful Kat..you know Spats...that's as close as it gets as an 'invitation' for him :rolleyes:

No need to worry. I think he would not like my favourite methods of profound examination anyway, so I guess such 'invitation' would turn him off.

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What if spats as we know him,is a fictitious creation?His ideas and opinions are here to make us magnify our own perspectives.

Naw...I believe in spats. spats is as spats does.

The "Spatbot" theory?

Yeah, that's been floated....

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The "Spatbot" theory?

Yeah, that's been floated....

He's probably a computer generated response system B)

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He's probably a computer generated response system B)

He runs on a loop

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A Harlequin romance novelist,who contributes to the forum on his downtime.Probably has a "little black book"thicker than The Yellow Pages.

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