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spats

Happy New Year.

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Spats keeps talking about not wanting to do the approaching because he doesn't want to get rejected, so that's bad advice.

Of course, on New Year's Eve he had a girl give him every indication that she was interested, and there was practically ZERO chance he'd be rejected. And yet, he couldn't/wouldn't close the deal. Why? Because of his stupid "principle" that she should have asked for his number. Then someone did the work for him and got the number, and he STILL won't close the deal.

So there's no winning with this guy. He's afraid of rejection, yet has no balls to seal the deal even he KNOWS he won't be rejected. He doesn't want to make the move because of fear, yet doesn't want chicks handed to him either. So you narrow down your options quite a bit, huh?

But she was the one hinting for the number. Not me. She should have been the one to ask. But for whatever reason she decided to throw it in my lap. That would be like me going to up to her hinting for her number but not asking for it. I would be called gutless if i did that. But she is let off the hook. :blink:

Yes my buddy did get her number for me but he did it without my permission and in the process he humiliated me by saying i was too shy to ask for it. That makes me look bad.

And it's not out of fear. You keep saying that but it's not true. I am pretty sure i will get a handful of rejection and i don't want to put myself through that. There is nothing positive about rejection.

if i go out this weekend and approach and get rejected will you admit i am right that it's a mistake for me?

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But she was the one hinting for the number. Not me. She should have been the one to ask. But for whatever reason she decided to throw it in my lap. That would be like me going to up to her hinting for her number but not asking for it. I would be called gutless if i did that. But she is let off the hook. :blink:

Yes my buddy did get her number for me but he did it without my permission and in the process he humiliated me by saying i was too shy to ask for it. That makes me look bad.

And it's not out of fear. You keep saying that but it's not true. I am pretty sure i will get a handful of rejection and i don't want to put myself through that. There is nothing positive about rejection.

if i go out this weekend and approach and get rejected will you admit i am right that it's a mistake for me?

If you go out this weekend and seriously hit on someone, I will bake you a damn cake and mail it to you! Because, my friend, that would be a cause for celebration.

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if i go out this weekend and approach and get rejected will you admit i am right that it's a mistake for me?

No, but we will start to believe your human. Rejection happens, you keep going until you aren't rejected. If rejection happens too often, then you're aiming higher than you should be, you forgot to shower, or your shining personality is killing your chances.

It may also happen that a woman does approach you, nobody has said that it won't happen...just that you can't count on it, and you can't hold womenkind responsible for your loneliness if they don't approach you.

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Spats you should grow a pair balls and move out of the "What If " world you so obviously live in!

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But she was the one hinting for the number. Not me. She should have been the one to ask. But for whatever reason she decided to throw it in my lap. That would be like me going to up to her hinting for her number but not asking for it. I would be called gutless if i did that. But she is let off the hook. :blink:

Yes my buddy did get her number for me but he did it without my permission and in the process he humiliated me by saying i was too shy to ask for it. That makes me look bad.

And it's not out of fear. You keep saying that but it's not true. I am pretty sure i will get a handful of rejection and i don't want to put myself through that. There is nothing positive about rejection.

if i go out this weekend and approach and get rejected will you admit i am right that it's a mistake for me?

frustrated.jpg

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Spats. my advice would be to ,leave the girls alone. Your absolutely right,you will be rejected. I tried for years to pick up women and got rejected over and over and over but stupid me, I kept doing it. And kept on getting rejected... I was so freakin' fed up... Now Spats..this is where the danger lies.. I tried once more and wouldn't you know it.... I didn't get rejected. I didn't know what to do, so we ended up .... Getting married and having two wonderful rug rats... It's been 30yrs man...... so be carefull Spats...rejection can lead to happiness :blink:

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If you go out this weekend and seriously hit on someone, I will bake you a damn cake and mail it to you! Because, my friend, that would be a cause for celebration.

I will hit on the first hottie i see. I may have to have a couple drinks first (and i don't even drink) to numb the pain afterwards.

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No, but we will start to believe your human. Rejection happens, you keep going until you aren't rejected. If rejection happens too often, then you're aiming higher than you should be, you forgot to shower, or your shining personality is killing your chances.

It may also happen that a woman does approach you, nobody has said that it won't happen...just that you can't count on it, and you can't hold womenkind responsible for your loneliness if they don't approach you.

Well i shower twice a day and i have good personality. So it would probably have to do with my looks if i get rejected. if i don't aim high then what is the point in doing it at all. because then you are settling.

You keep going until you are not rejected? that's sounds brutal. So what if 1 girl out of 100 does not reject me. Isn't that sad?

Edited by spats

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Spats. my advice would be to ,leave the girls alone. Your absolutely right,you will be rejected. I tried for years to pick up women and got rejected over and over and over but stupid me, I kept doing it. And kept on getting rejected... I was so freakin' fed up... Now Spats..this is where the danger lies.. I tried once more and wouldn't you know it.... I didn't get rejected. I didn't know what to do, so we ended up .... Getting married and having two wonderful rug rats... It's been 30yrs man...... so be carefull Spats...rejection can lead to happiness :blink:

But didnt it depress you that only one out of all those girls was interested? it would me.

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Firstly, I'm not a dude. Secondly, no one is saying approach "all the time". They are saying however, get off your ass occasionally. You are lazy, shiftless and you think everything should be brought to you, rather than you having to work for it. You will get nowhere in life, romantically or otherwise, with that attitude. NOWHERE.

What does shiftless mean? You always use that word. What do you mean?

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Well i shower twice a day and i have good personality. So it would probably have to do with my looks if i get rejected. if i don't aim high then what is the point in doing it at all. because then you are settling.

You keep going until you are not rejected? that's sounds brutal. So what if 1 girl out of 100 does not reject me. Isn't that sad?

I think the odds will be better than that.

Sitting around waiting to be approached is settling of it's own sort.

You keep saying that rejection is going to happen because of your looks, but not aiming high will be settling....obviously the "hotties' feel the same way. Someone will have to make an exception...

I suppose you could just go on bitching about your woman-less life so as to not compromise.

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What does shiftless mean? You always use that word. What do you mean?

I think that means helpless or passive.

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I think the odds will be better than that.

Sitting around waiting to be approached is settling of it's own sort.

You keep saying that rejection is going to happen because of your looks, but not aiming high will be settling....obviously the "hotties' feel the same way. Someone will have to make an exception...

I suppose you could just go on bitching about your woman-less life so as to not compromise.

Well looks are important to women too. People generalize that it's just men that care about looks. But women do too. So i am sure that there are women out there that don't want to settle and would consider going out with me settling.

Waiting for the woman to approach is settling to an extent. because you are not in charge of who approaches but the good thing about it is I am in charge of what happens. I decide if it's gonna go anywhere. They are not deciding my fate. I am the one deciding my fate. i am the one doing the rejecting.

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shift·less [ shíftləss ]

adjective

Definition:

1. lacking ambition: unwilling to make the effort to be successful or do something properly

2. inefficient: lacking the abilities or knowledge required to do something successfully or properly

Thank You, Encarta!

One thing to keep in mind--When you are hitting on someone, how you talk to them and how you behave toward them has A LOT to do with your success, or lack thereof. I get hit on a lot when I go out, and I have rejected a lot of guys simply because their approach made me mildly/moderately/severely offended or like they were trying to pressure me somehow.

My advice-Use some politeness and class when you talk to the girl.

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I think something that needs to be said here is that VERY FEW relationships are forged from meeting at bars/clubs. Yes, it can happen, but generally not a good way to go about it. Everyone I know, including me, met their spouse/significant other in more traditional settings: work, school, introduced through friends, parties, etc. You get to know someone in a social setting, and then go from there, you don't have to approach and 'hit' on someone.

So telling Spats to go up and "hit on hotties" in bars isn't the best advice. Go to bars and clubs to have fun with your friends, and if you happen to meet someone, great. But don't expect it.

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I don't know, 99% of the guys my friends and family have tried to introduce me to, set me up with, or told me "you guys would be just perfect together" turned out to be major douches. I do a hell of a lot better on my own.

Maybe we just drink more in South Dakota than you guys do where you're at, but I know lots of people who met each other at the club, bar, or other such establishment....

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^ Doesn't necessarily have to be a setup. But just being a party, for example, chances are the people you meet are there because they know some common people, so have you have something in common already.

I met my wife at an engagement party. My best friend's sister was getting married, so I got invited to the engagement party. My wife was a bridesmaid. I'd known my buddy's sister for years, but had never met this friend. We got to talking, and the rest is history.

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^ Doesn't necessarily have to be a setup. But just being a party, for example, chances are the people you meet are there because they know some common people, so have you have something in common already.

I met my wife at an engagement party. My best friend's sister was getting married, so I got invited to the engagement party. My wife was a bridesmaid. I'd known my buddy's sister for years, but had never met this friend. We got to talking, and the rest is history.

I would never have even gone to the engagement party.

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I think something that needs to be said here is that VERY FEW relationships are forged from meeting at bars/clubs. Yes, it can happen, but generally not a good way to go about it. Everyone I know, including me, met their spouse/significant other in more traditional settings: work, school, introduced through friends, parties, etc. You get to know someone in a social setting, and then go from there, you don't have to approach and 'hit' on someone.

So telling Spats to go up and "hit on hotties" in bars isn't the best advice. Go to bars and clubs to have fun with your friends, and if you happen to meet someone, great. But don't expect it.

I agree that bars and clubs are not the ideal place but that's where the best looking women are.

Work- I would never hook up with the women i work with. They are nice enough but they are not my type physically. And another problem with hooking up with someone you work with is if you break up you still have to see them everyday. Not good.

School - i am done with school and got rejected most of the time when i was there.

I agree that Parties are a good way to meet women (like the new years girl) but my friends don't always have the greatest taste in women.

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shift·less [ shíftləss ]

adjective

Definition:

1. lacking ambition: unwilling to make the effort to be successful or do something properly

2. inefficient: lacking the abilities or knowledge required to do something successfully or properly

Thank You, Encarta!

One thing to keep in mind--When you are hitting on someone, how you talk to them and how you behave toward them has A LOT to do with your success, or lack thereof. I get hit on a lot when I go out, and I have rejected a lot of guys simply because their approach made me mildly/moderately/severely offended or like they were trying to pressure me somehow.

My advice-Use some politeness and class when you talk to the girl.

What did they do to offend you?

I am always polite when i am out on the scene. But i don't kiss up to them or treat them like princess'.

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We went out last night but there were not many women there that turned me on and the ones that did were with their girlfriends and i am not gonna get rejected in front of a group of girls. That would be like the school dance all over again. Nothing eventful happened.

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We went out last night but there were not many women there that turned me on and the ones that did were with their girlfriends and i am not gonna get rejected in front of a group of girls. That would be like the school dance all over again. Nothing eventful happened.

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