Spats' Loveblahblahblah Thread

[reswati]

I am not a coward. I am just not a fearless macho man. I have insecurities and concerns. If a woman wants a fearless macho man then that's not my type of woman.

I am not a woman, I don't want to date a macho,

just post a picture of yourself!

(LITANY AGAINST FEAR

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain. , Paul Muad'Dib, Dune)

[longdistancewinner]

I can't cook. Never had any interest in learning.

You don't need to have an 'interest' in cooking, you just have to know you can. Could you cook for your girlfriend? How about your kid? Would you feed them shit?

I think i have common sense

No, Spats - just, no. You're short-sighted. There's no reasoning with you. You don't have any sense.

I am honest. But sometimes women don't want you to be honest.

What women do you hang out with? You seriously think women don't want honesty? Are you on crack?

What do i have to protect. I don't want a woman who needs protection. Not intol frail women.

And you wondered why I said you don't exactly roll out the welcome mat? How selfish can you be to not want to support and protect anyone, least of all a woman?

She doesn't have to be frail to want protection. It's more a figure of speech than an actual physical action. Have you never wanted to make sure your friends and family were ever safe? Don't you want them to be happy? You try and protect the ones you love from harm - physical or emotional. It's a no-brainer, really.

Remember "important" dates. If those dates are important to her then that's shallow.

Remembering my boyfriend's birthday is shallow? Celebrating our anniversary is shallow? Seriously, are you on crack?

I can make my buddies laugh but men and woman don't usually have the same sense of humor.

Maybe you're just not funny to a woman. No, wait - you make me laugh. And I can make just as many men laugh as I can women - more so, sometimes. In fact, I was once told I had a dirtier sense of humour than some of the guys I know.

You forgot to mention they want the men to be handsome. Looks matter to women to.

Yes, but by your reasoning, that's all we look for.

[spats]

You don't need to have an 'interest' in cooking, you just have to know you can. Could you cook for your girlfriend? How about your kid? Would you feed them shit?

No, Spats - just, no. You're short-sighted. There's no reasoning with you. You don't have any sense.

What women do you hang out with? You seriously think women don't want honesty? Are you on crack?

And you wondered why I said you don't exactly roll out the welcome mat? How selfish can you be to not want to support and protect anyone, least of all a woman?

She doesn't have to be frail to want protection. It's more a figure of speech than an actual physical action. Have you never wanted to make sure your friends and family were ever safe? Don't you want them to be happy? You try and protect the ones you love from harm - physical or emotional. It's a no-brainer, really.

Remembering my boyfriend's birthday is shallow? Celebrating our anniversary is shallow? Seriously, are you on crack?

Maybe you're just not funny to a woman. No, wait - you make me laugh. And I can make just as many men laugh as I can women - more so, sometimes. In fact, I was once told I had a dirtier sense of humour than some of the guys I know.

Yes, but by your reasoning, that's all we look for.

Why do i have to cook for anyone?? I don't need anyone cooking for me. I am happy with just buying things and heating it up. And i am not going to have any kids to have to cook for.

Women want on honesty on most things but let's me honest. They don't want the truth if it's not flattering to them. Looks wise. if a woman asks you if she looks fat. She does not want to hear Yes.

There is nothing i can really do to protect anyone from emotional harm. And there is not much i am going to be able to do against someone with a firearm. What type of protection are you talking about? I want everybody to be safe. That's a no brainer but what is there that i can physically do about it?

I don't think dates like birthdays and anniversarys are important dates. I think those things are superficial. Hell, i don't even like to be reminded that i am getting older.

If you can make guys laugh great. But we have found it doesn't work. I don't know any funny women that can make me laugh out loud. And i have never been really able to make women laugh. Different ideas of what is funny i guess.

Yes but good looking still is on the womans list. They might say that it's the most important. But it has to be on the list.

[longdistancewinner]

Why do i have to cook for anyone?? I don't need anyone cooking for me. I am happy with just buying things and heating it up. And i am not going to have any kids to have to cook for.

Okay, so you'll never have kids. One less thing for society to worry about. I'm sorry but if I suggested to you that you come to my house and I cook you a nice dinner, would you be happy if - for our first date - I just slapped a frozen pizza in the oven? You wouldn't have expected something a little more?

Women want on honesty on most things but let's me honest. They don't want to the truth if it's not flattering to them. Looks wise. if a woman asks you if she looks fat. She does not want to hear Yes.

Wow. So, if a woman wants to be told she looks okay - when she clearly doesn't think she does - therefore, she must want dishonesty?

Some women have very distorted views on their size. I'd be one of them. I'm the first to say I'm fat, but you ask my boyfriend if he thinks I'm fat and he'll actually laugh at you. He'll tell you that it couldn't be further from the truth - and I believe it when he says so - but I still don't like my size. Many women aren't happy with their bodies, but their men are. If he says she's not fat, it doesn't mean he's lying.

There is nothing i can really do to protect anyone from emotional harm. And there is not much i am going to be able to do against someone with a firearm. What type of protection are you talking about? I want everybody to be safe. That's a no brainer but what is there that i can physically do about it?

No, you can't protect anyone from anything. But can want to. You saying, 'What do I have to protect?' is the same as saying, 'Why should I care?' None of your beloved buddies ever felt heartache? Have you never tried to cheer them up? Do you turn a blind eye to that or do you feel for them?

I don't think dates like birthdays and anniversarys are important dates. I think those things are superficial. Hell, i don't even like to be reminded that i am getting older.

Maybe if you found someone to celebrate an anniversary with that would soon change. You're in no position to call that superficial when your top priority in a woman is that she must be 'hot'.

If you can make guys laugh great. But we have found it doesn't work. I don't know any funny women that can make me laugh out loud. And i have never been really able to make women laugh. Different ideas of what is funny i guess.

Who are 'we'? Maybe you're just a humourless person.

[lucyinthesky]

I've been reading this for quite a time, but never posted...don't feel like becoming a regular poster here, too.

But with the photo debate...nearly everyone here has some pics of them posted (even me, though I'm only an insecure teenage girl, remember, I didn't ask the boy out myself

;- )...

what I want to say: spats, do only what you want, but I promise, noone will laugh at you or hate you because of your photo! I swear...

edited to say: Apologizes for butting in...don't want to spoil a private party!

[reswati]

I've been reading this for quite a time, but never posted...don't feel like becoming a regular poster here, too.

But with the photo debate...nearly everyone here has some pics of them posted (even me, though I'm only an insecure teenage girl, remember, I didn't ask the boy out myself

;- )...

what I want to say: spats, do only what you want, but I promise, noone will laugh at you or hate you because of your photo! I swear...

Exactly, what I meant....we are all only human.

(I will post a picture of the ugliest part of my body if you want to...lol)

[lucyinthesky]

Exactly, what I meant....we are all only human.

(I will post a picture of the ugliest part of my body if you want to...lol)

sorry, couldn't resist...but this was sooo funny! just interested...which...?

[reswati]

sorry, couldn't resist...but this was sooo funny! just interested...which...?

Just broke one of my teeth on a vegetarian snack, an unmeatball gizmo.....looks worse than it feels, I got a very funny dentist, so don't worry.

(second tooth from the left, counted from behind)

Here's another very ugly one....I love ugly pics, dare to be ugly.....you can always beat PARIS HILTON......

[~Bonnie~]

You would enjoy that type of attention from a guy these days?

Sure. Being adored is great, it's like having your own fan club. Who doesn't want their own fan club?

Why do i have to cook for anyone?? I don't need anyone cooking for me. I am happy with just buying things and heating it up. And i am not going to have any kids to have to cook for.

Women want on honesty on most things but let's me honest. They don't want the truth if it's not flattering to them. Looks wise. if a woman asks you if she looks fat. She does not want to hear Yes.

There is nothing i can really do to protect anyone from emotional harm. And there is not much i am going to be able to do against someone with a firearm. What type of protection are you talking about? I want everybody to be safe. That's a no brainer but what is there that i can physically do about it?

I don't think dates like birthdays and anniversarys are important dates. I think those things are superficial. Hell, i don't even like to be reminded that i am getting older.

If you can make guys laugh great. But we have found it doesn't work. I don't know any funny women that can make me laugh out loud. And i have never been really able to make women laugh. Different ideas of what is funny i guess.

Yes but good looking still is on the womans list. They might say that it's the most important. But it has to be on the list.

The whole protection thing is more about the small things. Let's face it the whole gun thing doesn't factor into most people's daily lives. It's the small acts of looking out for someone that matters to a girl. Like, the guy I am seeing, for example. You know what made me like him in the first place? We had been talking all night at this concert, and we decided to move down closer to the stage because the main act was coming on. And we get down there, and he was like you're pretty tiny, let me put my arms around you so you don't get smashed in case the crowd decides to mosh. A small act, but sweet none-the-less.

As for women looking for attractive guys--you go on and on and on about how you expect a woman to be good looking and such, how dare you say it isn't fair for a woman to look for a handsome man!!

[~tangerine~]

That might be adorable when a cute little girl does it. But how cute would it be if a average looking grown man does it?

I wouldn't have suggested it if i didn't think it might work. My daughter is gorgeous, but aside from that, what people really notice is her wonderful personality. If you were to act that way, women would see a self confident man. Many here have told you how good that makes a guy look. Try it.

[Babs]

We're missing the mark here and after 120 pages.......

Okay, I think we should make suggestion not about Spats, but what women like and maybe we should hear mostly from the women. I'll add my two cents, and what I've seen over my years of life:

Girls dig guys who are confident, that can operate a household - cook, clean, do laundry, iron (and not whine about it), fix things, have a half decent job (can provide), who are faithful, are intelligent, have common sense, be respectable, draw water and be able to light a fire, be unselfish, to be able to hunt, be resourceful, be honest, have a good sense of personal hygene, dress half decent, have an even temper - but can protect them if need be, remember important dates - being thoughtful, talent works as well, somewhat intelligent/artistic, to be vivacious, have a great sense of humour, and be "thoughtful" in the sack.

Most women dont want their man to wax/thread anything either, shave or tweeze it (and don't talk about it if you do......).

Is that all you bring to the table?

[Katuschka]

I have never experienced a girlfriend saying that to me but knowing me I would not look the same at them. Especially if i liked their looks right away. I just would feel terrible. Because it's not a compliment at all. Completely opposite.

Yeah I know, you don't have to tell us thousand times. You would feel terrible? So what. You decided that this would make you feel bad, so it's only your problem.

I don't think making physical attraction a high priority is shallow. Physical attraction has to be there. You have to like their looks for things to work.

I do. And as a consequence, it would not make me feel bad. Physical attraction has to be there, yes, but that doesn't mean you have to priorize it. It IS shallow simply because it leaves out all the other important things that the two people do together outside the bed. Like it or not, a relationship based only on sex IS a shallow relationship. If you enjoy this and want nothing else, good.

Though you obviously aren't enjoying it very much now...

I have never had a girlfriend who was my best friend. The guys i hang out with are my best friends.I have never shared everything or everything i do with a girlfriend. Some things but not everything. I don't usually even tell my girlfriends my middle name because it's stupid. I even feel self concious when revealing my last name to them because i don't like the name. But you have to do that. That's a no brainer

Then it's quite natural that they can never become real friends. Your silly fears prevent it. Your bad.

[Katuschka]

But we have found it doesn't work.

Since when have you been using majestic plural?

[spats]

Okay, so you'll never have kids. One less thing for society to worry about. I'm sorry but if I suggested to you that you come to my house and I cook you a nice dinner, would you be happy if - for our first date - I just slapped a frozen pizza in the oven? You wouldn't have expected something a little more?

Wow. So, if a woman wants to be told she looks okay - when she clearly doesn't think she does - therefore, she must want dishonesty?

Some women have very distorted views on their size. I'd be one of them. I'm the first to say I'm fat, but you ask my boyfriend if he thinks I'm fat and he'll actually laugh at you. He'll tell you that it couldn't be further from the truth - and I believe it when he says so - but I still don't like my size. Many women aren't happy with their bodies, but their men are. If he says she's not fat, it doesn't mean he's lying.

No, you can't protect anyone from anything. But can want to. You saying, 'What do I have to protect?' is the same as saying, 'Why should I care?' None of your beloved buddies ever felt heartache? Have you never tried to cheer them up? Do you turn a blind eye to that or do you feel for them?

Maybe if you found someone to celebrate an anniversary with that would soon change. You're in no position to call that superficial when your top priority in a woman is that she must be 'hot'.

Who are 'we'? Maybe you're just a humourless person.

No, it would not bother me if she threw in a frozen pizza. I like frozen pizza. It would not bother me if she ordered in pizza or chinese food or whatever. A home cooked meal is not high on my priority list. I would rather have those things then some meal she made herself that i might not even like. I have had girlfriends who could not cook to save their life and when they tried it was terrible. And i thought to myself. We should have ordered food in.

It's still not wanting honesty though. They want the guy to say what they want to hear. They want the guy to say they are beautiful even they aren't. I know females who say "tell me what you really think" and when you do they get pissed.

I want everyone to be safe. But it was being explained like i am supposed to come to their rescue or something. Yes, i try and cheer my buddies up if they are not happy. They do the same for me. That has nothing to do with protecting anyone from anything.

When i say we, i mean me and my guy friends. You can see the difference when it's just us out somewhere and when girlfriends, wives or dates tag along. Totally different tone. Not as many laughs when the women are around. They don't get our humor and we don't really find the things they find funny very humorous.

[spats]

I've been reading this for quite a time, but never posted...don't feel like becoming a regular poster here, too.

But with the photo debate...nearly everyone here has some pics of them posted (even me, though I'm only an insecure teenage girl, remember, I didn't ask the boy out myself

;- )...

what I want to say: spats, do only what you want, but I promise, noone will laugh at you or hate you because of your photo! I swear...

edited to say: Apologizes for butting in...don't want to spoil a private party!

Thanks Lucy. You can post here and give and your honest opinion. I wouldn't mind. I saw your pic and you are pretty. If you had asked that dude out i think he would have said yes. Girls rarely get turned down doing that.

[spats]

Sure. Being adored is great, it's like having your own fan club. Who doesn't want their own fan club?

The whole protection thing is more about the small things. Let's face it the whole gun thing doesn't factor into most people's daily lives. It's the small acts of looking out for someone that matters to a girl. Like, the guy I am seeing, for example. You know what made me like him in the first place? We had been talking all night at this concert, and we decided to move down closer to the stage because the main act was coming on. And we get down there, and he was like you're pretty tiny, let me put my arms around you so you don't get smashed in case the crowd decides to mosh. A small act, but sweet none-the-less.

As for women looking for attractive guys--you go on and on and on about how you expect a woman to be good looking and such, how dare you say it isn't fair for a woman to look for a handsome man!!

I would only want that type of attention if it was a woman i thought was pretty. Otherwise that would be bad.

I am not the type of guy that would have done what your boyfriend did. I wouldn't have had the nerve to do that with a girl i didn't really know that well. And I wouldn't have even thought to do it.

[spats]

Yeah I know, you don't have to tell us thousand times. You would feel terrible? So what. You decided that this would make you feel bad, so it's only your problem.

I do. And as a consequence, it would not make me feel bad. Physical attraction has to be there, yes, but that doesn't mean you have to priorize it. It IS shallow simply because it leaves out all the other important things that the two people do together outside the bed. Like it or not, a relationship based only on sex IS a shallow relationship. If you enjoy this and want nothing else, good.

Though you obviously aren't enjoying it very much now...

Then it's quite natural that they can never become real friends. Your silly fears prevent it. Your bad.

The only way i make looks a priority is when i choose i wnat to hook up with. If i am not physically attracted to them i don't want to date them and if i do find them pretty i would consider hooking up if they were nice as well, etc.

They can still be my friend even if i don't tell them everything about myself and share everything i do and say and think with them. You don't have to do that. My fears aren't silly.

[JethroTull]

Do us all a favor tonight and venture into one of the fabulous gay bars Toronto has to offer. Report back to us next weekend after you recover.

[JethroTull]

Over 100 pages of this drek and where are we? Nowhere. Go talk to a therapist.

I've told you this before, you need to reinvent yourself. Disappear for a few months or a year. Stop hanging out at the harbor with your dopey buddies. Grow your hair long or a goutee, learn an instrument, lose weight, write poetry, whatever. Get people talking about your disappearance!! Emerge in a year with a new image. Chicks will forget the OLD YOU quickly and see the new confident, newly emerged from therapy Spats.

[spats]

Do us all a favor tonight and venture into one of the fabulous gay bars Toronto has to offer. Report back to us next weekend after you recover.

Dude, just because a guy isn't a alpha male does not mean he is anywhere near being gay. You keep bringing up the gay stuff.

I am going to a party tonight though. Hopefully there will be some cool, pretty women there. Buddy says he will do his best to get me some female attention there.

[reswati]

Dude, just because a guy isn't a alpha male does not mean he is anywhere near being gay. You keep bringing up the gay stuff.

I am going to a party tonight though. Hopefully there will be some cool, pretty women there. Buddy says he will do his best to get me some female attention there.

Not beeing an alphamale,

hahaha, thats the cheapest excuse I ever heard for beeing a coward, Marvin, uhh Spats.

And if you ain't a coward, just as you claimed, then post a picture, you might possibly get a compliment from a real woman here.

[Katuschka]

The only way i make looks a priority is when i choose i wnat to hook up with. If i am not physically attracted to them i don't want to date them and if i do find them pretty i would consider hooking up if they were nice as well, etc.

Right, isn't that THE thing we've been discussing so far?

I rest my case: I think you're extremely shallow. Well, that's your business. It doesn't bother me at all. However, there's one thing you should realize, which is that it doesn't work for you... which means that if you won't reconsider your attitude, you'll spend the rest of your life living in the I-wish-I-were world. And you'll be the only one to blame.

They can still be my friend even if i don't tell them everything about myself and share everything i do and say and think with them. You don't have to do that. My fears aren't silly.

"I don't usually even tell my girlfriends my middle name because it's stupid. I even feel self concious when revealing my last name to them because i don't like the name."

That is pretty silly. Do you think they'll find you less "hot" because of your name?

Have you ever willingly tried to be their friend? If no, they can't...

[spats]

Right, isn't that THE thing we've been discussing so far?

I rest my case: I think you're extremely shallow. Well, that's your business. It doesn't bother me at all. However, there's one thing you should realize, which is that it doesn't work for you... which means that if you won't reconsider your attitude, you'll spend the rest of your life living in the I-wish-I-were world. And you'll be the only one to blame.

"I don't usually even tell my girlfriends my middle name because it's stupid. I even feel self concious when revealing my last name to them because i don't like the name."

That is pretty silly. Do you think they'll find you less "hot" because of your name?

Have you ever willingly tried to be their friend? If no, they can't...

If there are two girls at a bar. One i find hot and one i find unattractive. If i approach the hot one i am shallow? Admit it you would do the the same. If there was a guy who you thought was good looking and then a guy there whose looks did not appeal to you, you would chat up the good looking dude. It's no different. I am not saying only look matter. But when you are first meeting people, their looks are going to be what you notice first and if you like their looks then they already have a foot in the door with you.

Yes, i do think a woman can get turned off my a dudes last name. I am been around when women have talked about guys they were dating or getting to know or even just met. And they have put their first names together with his last name to see what it sounded like if they were to ever get married. And if it didn't sound good or sounded funny that would be a strike against him. They would say..."i wouldn't want to be known as (insert name here) for the rest of my life." And then they would laugh. You would be amazed at what i have heard out at the clubs.

My last name just isn't very cool and it was the type of last name that was made fun of occasionally in school. And my middle name is pretty geeky. I don't know what my mother was thinking when she picked it.

Yes, i have tried to be friends with women and girlfriends. But that does not mean you have to be a complete open book to them.

[longdistancewinner]

Spats, I can actually feel you stunting my mentality.

I'm done with this thread. I can't believe how long I've been trying to give you advice. I can't believe how many more people have tried giving you advice. And, frankly, you're either a retard or a complete windup. You don't take any of it in.

I don't care how many women your beloved buddies have banged. I don't care that you haven't been laid. I don't care that you went to Harbourfront last night (and every other night) - I don't even know what the fuck it is! I don't care that you're a singleton. I don't care that you can't/won't cook. I don't care that you only want to hookup. I don't care that you only want a 'hot' girl. I don't care about how unfriendly the women in Toronto are. I don't care that you received more interest dressed as the Joker. It's not that much of a stretch - you're a joke to me. I don't care about your gummy smile. I don't care that you don't want to do all the hard work. I don't care that she never called you back. Are you getting the message? No? If I wasn't concise enough, I'll say it now - I just don't fucking care.

I came on this board to talk about Zeppelin, instead I spent half of it giving advice (not bad, at that) to you. I don't know who is the bigger idiot - you or me. You don't actually give a shit about what we're saying to you. You just want someone to tell you that all your monstrous traits are actually attractive to a woman. They aren't. And I wouldn't even suggest you turn to men - that's just as offensive.

You're taking the piss with us just as much as we've been with you. Please stop this fucking thread before I buy a ticket to Toronto - and see a man about a hatchet, whilst I'm there.

I sincerely apologise to anyone that I'll inevitably offend during this rant, but, frankly, this is Spats. I'm sure you'll be able to understand.

[Roxie]

Spats, I can actually feel you stunting my mentality.

I'm done with this thread. I can't believe how long I've been trying to give you advice. I can't believe how many more people have tried giving you advice. And, frankly, you're either a retard or a complete windup. You don't take any of it in.

I don't care how many women your beloved buddies have banged. I don't care that you haven't been laid. I don't care that you went to Harbourfront last night (and every other night) - I don't even know what the fuck it is! I don't care that you're a singleton. I don't care that you can't/won't cook. I don't care that you only want to hookup. I don't care that you only want a 'hot' girl. I don't care about how unfriendly the women in Toronto are. I don't care that you received more interest dressed as the Joker. It's not that much of a stretch - you're a joke to me. I don't care about your gummy smile. I don't care that you don't want to do all the hard work. I don't care that she never called you back. Are you getting the message? No? If I wasn't concise enough, I'll say it now - I just don't fucking care.

I came on this board to talk about Zeppelin, instead I spent half of it giving advice (not bad, at that) to you. I don't know who is the bigger idiot - you or me. You don't actually give a shit about what we're saying to you. You just want someone to tell you that all your monstrous traits are actually attractive to a woman. They aren't. And I wouldn't even suggest you turn to men - that's just as offensive.

You're taking the piss with us just as much as we've been with you. Please stop this fucking thread before I buy a ticket to Toronto - and see a man about a hatchet, whilst I'm there.

I sincerely apologise to anyone that I'll inevitably offend during this rant, but, frankly, this is Spats. I'm sure you'll be able to understand.

Thanks for the best laugh I've had all day LDW!!

After this post I'll buy you a ticket to Toronto so we can hang!