Del Zeppnile Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Del, are you having all of us lefties picked off one by one?! Will you let me know when my number is up? It's the rich abundance of target opportunities for sappy liberals that keeps this hunter coming back to these hunting grounds. I would never hunt more than I am also willing to gut and eat. Your right Del, it has made dealing with new employees very difficult. Nobody trusts anyone and in the job that I do, you need to have that trust. This is not to say that they are all this way but the problem lies with not feeling comfortable enough to find out. The threat of lawsuit has destroyed more than it's accomplished and whether it's in fact true or not, we look at newbies as just that untill they prove otherwise. Sad really I try to just be myself around most folks. Granted I will be wary of some of the younger women, but the fact that I'm pushing 50 now probably gives me some of that "oh he's a harmless old guy thing" now. But last week I had a conversation with a preganant co-worker (not a friend of mine) who was feeling a little stressed out about work and stuff. She is 22 having her first baby (a boy), and the father is serving in the Navy. I told her that there is nothing on this job worth getting stressed out about, and that she should just take the day off and relax. But my boss overheard the conversation and rolled his eyes and shook his head. As if to give me "the wave off" like I was treading into dangerous territory. But I'll be damned if I'm going to play by their rules on this stuff! If I get fired for being nice to people, then that is their problem not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I think it is all very subjective. Some people can tell the worst jokes around me and I'll think it's hilarious; but another person telling the same joke but giving off a bad vibe would make me uncomfortable. I have never experienced being called "honey", "sweetie" etc. by coworkers or bosses. I've probably had it a few times from customers, but none ever made me uncomfortable. I've appreciated "I like that outfit" or "nice hairdo" comments because I know the people saying them meant them kindly and not in a creepy way. It's rare for me to get an "allergic reaction" to someone, but it does happen occasionally, and when it does, I just steer clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 now would you say..."your ass looks great in those pants, bob"?... You're comparing "Your ass looks great" to "Nice coat?" Sounds sort of ridiculous does it not? Surely you see that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jabe Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Cool or uncool? "Have you been working out?" "Have you lost some weight?" Actually noticing a positive physical change in someone's appearance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Zeppnile Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Cool or uncool? "Have you been working out?" "Have you lost some weight?" Actually noticing a positive physical change in someone's appearance. It works for me. But have you ever asked that question and gotten, "No I have cancer and am on chemo-therapy right now" ? I guess it can always be a bit of a minefield making personal comments about someone else's appearance, but would a mere mistake be considered harassment ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Trouble is, you never know when you are going to "strike a nerve" with somebody. What might have been funny yesterday all of a sudden takes a turn and before you know it you are explaining your loutish behavior to the HR department. A co-worker of mine recently complained to some higher up about our boss swearing. I think he was looking for a reason to complain. There ARE a couple of topics that tend to irritate me. Maybe I need to lighten up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zepyep Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Hi all, Del,your looking fit today!Damn son,those pants look good on your package! Luv! KB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 these days in the work environment or in everyday life you have to watch what you say to women because it can be taken the wrong way. i don't shell out that many compliments to them and i am very careful what i say in general. That's just the way it is these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roblindblad Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 When a girl says "No" it means NO!!!!!!!!!! Easy enough to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 When a girl says "No" it means NO!!!!!!!!!! Easy enough to understand. Yep, it does. I think the point though is to not even go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 People are too eager to be offended. Fucking hell I wish most people would just man up and get the fucking over themselves. If you respect yourself enough as a person nothing anyone says should get to you. I love banter with the guys - I can give it just as much as I can take it. I get ripped for being child-sized, a light-weight and what not, but I give it straight back to the respective piss-taker and it's all good fun. Obviously you need to have established a sort of relationship or 'connection' with someone before you can engage in proper banter, but once you can it solidifies a friendship. As soon as you can call someone a dick/twat/prick or whatever to their face in jest, then you've really got a mate. I think I'm in love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 In addition to coming of age walking by NYC construction sites and getting "wolf whistles" from the hardhats, I've always worked in predominantly male fields and I've had experiences similar to the ones that you describe. I absolutely agree with you in that those were some of my happiest work experiences and the guys meant no harm and it was all in good fun. I was never offended - at a fairly young age I become accustomed to how guys act and talk so it wasn't a shock to me when I went to work as an intern on Wall Street when I was still in college. Those were the days before "affirmative action" and the Street was very male dominated. I never had any problems - and my friend and I would go out after work to the local bars with the guys (the drinking age back then was 18). Part of it was that I was sharp enough to discern what was good-natured banter and, intellectually, I was always able to hold my own. My girlfriend and I still laugh at some of the things that were said to us (things I won't share here). What we took as compliments back then, some women might now consider grounds for a complaint of sexual harassment. Our boss was named Edward and he used to refer to my friend and I and one other young woman as "Eddie's Angels" and he would call me "sweet little MSG" . All three of us were sharp and competent and did a great job. I liked being complimented and never considered myself as a "piece of meat". Well, I'd like to work with you, Miss HD, and Del! KEY point MAD! And I think the more self confident you are the easier it is to do that....I don't get insulted by the petty stuff...but if I think you're seriously condescending or giving me real shit..."Back off bucko, don't EVER say that to me again" Otherwise, Ahahahhaa! Right back atcha! Can you imagine some of us working together? LOL! Observers would probably think we are insane. My old boss is worried the new boss will think I'm fluff because of my personality. I was very happy the other day when he walked by me talking to a few of our top developers because if he would have just SEEN me from behind his glass office window...he probably woulda thought I was screwing off or just having fun....but he actually got to HEAR what was coming out of my mouth and the huge issue we were resolving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Cool or uncool? "Have you been working out?" "Have you lost some weight?" Actually noticing a positive physical change in someone's appearance. LOVE IT! (though it's been a while since anyone said THAT to me ) I don't know a guy OR a girl that doens't love to hear that! Unless they are sick as Del suggested but I think you can usually tell the diff.... Shit, I go round feeling biceps! And COMPARING when mine are good (that's been a while too ) My boss actually got a little nervous that I could kick his ass for a while! Of course, I'm lucky...I DO have a great friendship with my boss...I've always fostered friendships with co workers and immediate bosses. I've made friends with higher ups but I know it's a difficult postion for them, just business... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 It's the rich abundance of target opportunities for sappy liberals that keeps this hunter coming back to these hunting grounds. I would never hunt more than I am also willing to gut and eat. Yer gonna be damn bored when all the game is gone Del!! I am being insubordanant on this one and would really like an answer. Why was Hermit banned?! Is it improper to ask a mod to PM you about such a question? And...oh I didn't quote your entire post but see? Del, you have a heart! (oh oh...was that politically correct to our self proclaimed resident inmate? LOL!) I'd take you for a boss any day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I think it is all very subjective. Some people can tell the worst jokes around me and I'll think it's hilarious; but another person telling the same joke but giving off a bad vibe would make me uncomfortable. I have never experienced being called "honey", "sweetie" etc. by coworkers or bosses. I've probably had it a few times from customers, but none ever made me uncomfortable. I've appreciated "I like that outfit" or "nice hairdo" comments because I know the people saying them meant them kindly and not in a creepy way. It's rare for me to get an "allergic reaction" to someone, but it does happen occasionally, and when it does, I just steer clear. Totally agree....I avoid anyone that gives me the heebie geebies.....and can be quite rude if needed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadScreamingGallery Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 KEY point MAD! And I think the more self confident you are the easier it is to do that....I don't get insulted by the petty stuff...but if I think you're seriously condescending or giving me real shit..."Back off bucko, don't EVER say that to me again" Otherwise, Ahahahhaa! Right back atcha! Can you imagine some of us working together? LOL! Observers would probably think we are insane. My old boss is worried the new boss will think I'm fluff because of my personality. I was very happy the other day when he walked by me talking to a few of our top developers because if he would have just SEEN me from behind his glass office window...he probably woulda thought I was screwing off or just having fun....but he actually got to HEAR what was coming out of my mouth and the huge issue we were resolving! Yes, I was always fairly self-assured and comfortable with who I am. Like you, I let petty stuff - online or in real life - roll off my back. Life is too short to stress over it and I've been blessed with a pleasant and peaceful nature so it makes it easier for me to dismiss the small stuff. I would much rather be out either having a good time or trying, in some way, to make people's lives better than to spend my time bitching and moaning and being miserable and gossiping about other people's life choices. Whether it's in a work environment or a social setting, the free spirits and nonconformists have always gravitated toward me - and I toward them. I too have often been mistaken for "fluff" - I enjoy "startling" those who underestimate me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Yes, I was always fairly self-assured and comfortable with who I am. Like you, I let petty stuff - online or in real life - roll off my back. Life is too short to stress over it and I've been blessed with a pleasant and peaceful nature so it makes it easier for me to dismiss the small stuff. I would much rather be out either having a good time or trying, in some way, to make people's lives better than to spend my time bitching and moaning and being miserable and gossiping about other people's life choices. Whether it's in a work environment or a social setting, the free spirits and nonconformists have always gravitated toward me - and I toward them. I too have often been mistaken for "fluff" - I enjoy "startling" those who underestimate me too. Excellent point MAD! I think that's an advantage we have as women (and fun and attractive women), we are often underestimated....love it! Uh hey, guess what?! I'm smarter than you too! (to the guys that underestimate us) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medhb Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Hi all, Del,your looking fit today!Damn son,those pants look good on your package! Luv! KB Damn! I hate missing out on things! C'mon Del, post a pic of that package! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marolyn Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 You're comparing "Your ass looks great" to "Nice coat?" Sounds sort of ridiculous does it not? Surely you see that it's called del baitin'...and he bites every time!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Zeppnile Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 it's called del baitin'...and he bites every time!!! Careful you don't get bit yourself.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marolyn Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 C'mon Del, post a pic of that package! yea... us gals are looking to sexually harass somebody...you said you could handle it, right???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I know this is going to sound like a Spatsism but......Would you tell a fellow female co-worker that you like her new hair style or that she looks hot in her new top and hip hugger jeans and ask her where she got them and....and....and? I know there are women out there that compliment fellow male co-workers on what they wear or new dew or this or that! Now tell me why I can't say...... you look good today..... to a female co-worker! I agree there are boundries like touching and going overboard with the innuendoes.....but to say I like your new dew.....to me..... is normal social communication! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docron Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 The real question should be... Where in the piss do you work that the females wear revealing clothing and hiphugger jeans!? Stupid mechanical engineers and their non-revealing work attire. P.S. what is this thread about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin'Days Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 The real question should be... Where in the piss do you work that the females wear revealing clothing and hiphugger jeans!? Stupid mechanical engineers and their non-revealing work attire. P.S. what is this thread about? I'm in Germany and they dress even more revealing Italy! Mini minies! DD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marolyn Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 P.S. what is this thread about? it's about equal opportunity...for men to say to other men the same things they feel free to say to women...can you hang??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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