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Confessions


LadyRaven

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Ok, heres my secrets...Im bald at the age of 21, i enjoy operating a motor vehicle at high speed's, enjoy making others happy even with their ignorance handy and I love planes. i don't know if this will harm anyones mind, but you guys asked for my secrets. so here go's. I highly enjoy making a woman ejaculate & I ain't a porn star either.

Porn stars are dirty, dirty. fake and most of them are too skinny. Imagine what there twat is like after banging for a couple of hours for consecutive days.(Someones gunna stink even worse than the average grandma...lol) They don't like sex anymore because there love is the money. Not all of them are like that. (saving my ass if there are any pornstars watching).

B)

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^ Man, who doesn't enjoy operating motor vehicles at high speeds? I'm planning on retiring in Germany and buying myself a Ferrari so I can fully utilize the benefits of the Autobahn, myself. ;)

Hmm, what weird stuff have I done...ah, I know! I once took a bite out of a dog biscuit to see what it tasted like. :D Not too good, let me tell you. Shoot, I can't think of anything truly confession-worthy at the moment.

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I dig fresh asparagus.Been eating the hell out of it. Makes my pee smell funky.

Carry on with the Ron Jeremy /big penis thing.

Certainly more interesting than asparagus.

This post of yours made me laugh my ass off.

My confession is so scary, some of you will not be able to handle it. Are you ready? Here goes: I like the Osmonds. :o I'm not a fan of their music, but I think they are a very, very nice family. And when I took my daughter to see "Mulan," (Disney movie), there was a kick ass song in there called "Be a Man." I waited for the credits to see who the singer was- guess who? Donny Osmond. The guy can sing.

And now you will kill me, as I expected.

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I drank soda today. I've been trying to stop with it all together.

I have been trying to quit diet soda, too. its really difficult, as I find I am so addicted to these artifically engineered beverages!!! but, I have had much success the last few days as I have learned to doctor up bottled water. here's what you do: crack open a poland springs or whatever, drink a few ounces off the top, then replace those ounces with unsweetend cranberry juice and 2 packets of Stevia. Stevia is an herb that tastes like sugar but has no calories, fat, or chemicals. Its really all natural. Find it at Trader Joe's. It comes in packets, like Equal.

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I have been trying to quit diet soda, too. its really difficult, as I find I am so addicted to these artifically engineered beverages!!! but, I have had much success the last few days as I have learned to doctor up bottled water. here's what you do: crack open a poland springs or whatever, drink a few ounces off the top, then replace those ounces with unsweetend cranberry juice and 2 packets of Stevia. Stevia is an herb that tastes like sugar but has no calories, fat, or chemicals. Its really all natural. Find it at Trader Joe's. It comes in packets, like Equal.

Huh, I've never heard of that. I can't stand diet soda because it tastes weird, like it has chemicals in it. My soda problem is mostly because of my addiction to caffine- it doesn't get nasty like tea and coffee do after awhile.

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Huh, I've never heard of that. I can't stand diet soda because it tastes weird, like it has chemicals in it. My soda problem is mostly because of my addiction to caffine- it doesn't get nasty like tea and coffee do after awhile.

I have news for all. Those artificial sweeteners is killing everyone. Equal in and of itself breaks down into fermaldahyde in your liver and kidneys before you piss it off. Your better off avoiding artificial sweeteners all together. I know 2 nutritionists and about a dozen or more nurses.

Juices like cranberry, apple, grape and such are the best for you. You can mix it with a bottle of Perrier and have an awesome drink which wont pickle you...

I am addicted to coffee though. So there you are, caffiene junky through and through is my confession.

(_)0

zepbaby

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In my (admittedly very limited) experience, so are the bridal shower variety of male strippers. :blink:

ROFL

I just remembered this one male stripper that was at a bridal shower I went to.

He actually took off his pants, threaded them between his legs and pulled them back and forth like he was humping them!

UUUGGGHh!

Then he tried giving me a lap dance, and I was laughing so hard I was crying--and I kept saying, "really, it's okay. "

Oh gross!

I'm going to email my friend that hired him and ask her to recall more details--if she can stomach it.

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Hmm, what weird stuff have I done...ah, I know! I once took a bite out of a dog biscuit to see what it tasted like. :D Not too good, let me tell you. Shoot, I can't think of anything truly confession-worthy at the moment.

I paid my little (baby) sister $5 to eat dog food after my dad died and we inherited his dog. That means my little sister was 9. Which also means I was 22. :bagoverhead:

I have stolen Cartman's Cheesy Poofs. Every time. Little fucker still doesn't know.

:hysterical:

My confession is so scary, some of you will not be able to handle it. Are you ready? Here goes: I like the Osmonds. :o

The very first time I went to a Hard Rock Cafe, I was seated at the Osmonds table (it was Salt Lake City, what can I say?) . Dave flagged down the waiter and was like, "My girlfriend is a ROCKER. We cannot sit at the Osmonds table." The waiter laughed and moved us to a table that had the bust of Elton John next to it instead, ROFL.

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I paid my little (baby) sister $5 to eat dog food after my dad died and we inherited his dog. That means my little sister was 9. Which also means I was 22. :bagoverhead:

Ahaha, that's great! Was it wet or dry? I guess dry would be manageable, but wet? Eww... Hehe, my piano teacher's wife convinced her sister that she could fly and told her to "fly" off the top of something tall (I can't remember what it was) -- and she actually did it! Luckily the sister didn't hurt herself too bad when she jumped off and discovered that no, she really couldn't fly. Their mom almost had a heart attack when she learned what happened, of course. Tsk tsk, older sisters. :shifty:

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I'm the oldest sister of three girls.

I'm 27

Brittany's 22

Courtnee is 14

It was dry food. I was telling Courtnee (the baby sister) about a family of three boys that I grew up with--my baby sister's 13 years younger than me. The boys used to eat dog biscuits--their mom stopped buying them because the boys are more than the dog.

I told Court to eat a piece of dog food, but she ended up only licking it. When my mom found out, she was like, "What the FUCK is wrong with you? You're 22 years old!?!"

My sister Brittany (the middle sister who was 17) and I were laughing our asses off, and my mom was wigging out. Courtnee didn't even EAT the crap--but Brittany came to my defense and said, "Hey mom, Court never had the type of sisterly bullcrap that Mandy and I put each other through--we've got to include her somehow."

I wasn't going to give Courtnee the $5.00 because she only licked the dog food, but my mom made me cough it up.

My mom still gets mad at the mention of that one. ROFL

:hysterical:

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ROFL

I just remembered this one male stripper that was at a bridal shower I went to.

He actually took off his pants, threaded them between his legs and pulled them back and forth like he was humping them!

UUUGGGHh!

Then he tried giving me a lap dance, and I was laughing so hard I was crying--and I kept saying, "really, it's okay. "

Oh gross!

I'm going to email my friend that hired him and ask her to recall more details--if she can stomach it.

YES!!! They must take a class or something, lol!! This guy was about 5'2" and skinny, with a mullet and big mustache. It was not my bridal shower either, btw; I was the 8.5 mos. pregnant guest, wishing I were anywhere else, lol :blink:

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Last night I left a carton of ice cream out for a couple of hours until it melted almost all the way through. I drank it straight out of the carton to my content (about two cups), let it melt another half hour and then put it back in the freezer.

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I realized a little while ago that I never addressed, or mailed, the thank you notes my kids wrote for their birthday parties last summer. :'(

Go ahead and mail them now.

Better late than never, right?

I'm still pissed off that my cousin and his wife never sent me a thank you note for taking pictures of their wedding. I spent my entire Saturday---had to get up at 7 am after working late to take pictures of their wedding.

Not to mention the money I spent on their present.

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I'm the oldest sister of three girls.

I'm 27

Brittany's 22

Courtnee is 14

It was dry food. I was telling Courtnee (the baby sister) about a family of three boys that I grew up with--my baby sister's 13 years younger than me. The boys used to eat dog biscuits--their mom stopped buying them because the boys are more than the dog.

I told Court to eat a piece of dog food, but she ended up only licking it. When my mom found out, she was like, "What the FUCK is wrong with you? You're 22 years old!?!"

My sister Brittany (the middle sister who was 17) and I were laughing our asses off, and my mom was wigging out. Courtnee didn't even EAT the crap--but Brittany came to my defense and said, "Hey mom, Court never had the type of sisterly bullcrap that Mandy and I put each other through--we've got to include her somehow."

I wasn't going to give Courtnee the $5.00 because she only licked the dog food, but my mom made me cough it up.

My mom still gets mad at the mention of that one. ROFL

:hysterical:

That is so funny. It doesn't matter how old you are as long as you act juevenile you are juevenile. (Not that it's a bad thing.)

Here's goes all... I belong to one of the biggest dorkdoms of all. I collect, use and repair fountain pens. :bagoverhead: :bagoverhead: :bagoverhead: :bagoverhead:

*waits for someone to throw meatloaf at her*

I think it's cool and not at all dorky. So if they want to throw meatloaf they can hit me too. I like fountain pens, I just don't have any.

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